Marriage (2)
1 Peter 3:1-7
In all discussions related to submission, if the wishes, desires, or needs of the husband involve a direct violation of the Word of God, then submission does not apply. In such cases, to practice submission would involve violating the higher principle of obedience to God and his Word previously held out as the believer’s goal
Submitting oneself to another is the opposite of self-assertion, the opposite of an independent, autocratic spirit. It is the desire to get along with someone else. It involves being satisfied at times with less than what one may deserve or claim as a right. The goal of this type of behavior is to win over to Christ the non-believing husband. This occurs without words. This does not mean that a wife is never to speak, but rather that she is not to resort to constant arguments and nagging discussions. The husband will be more influenced by the behavior of his wife. This links this chapter to chapter 2, where verse 12 indicates that the non-Christian audience can be positively influenced for Christ as they observe the consistent and godly behavior of a believer.
The word honor means to value; to esteem; to prize; to count as precious. A husband is to count his wife as a precious gem, as a prize of extreme value. He is to highly esteem her, set her up on a pedestal before his very eyes.
Husbands are to honor their wives by loving and tenderly taking care of them. They are to look after and care for them with warmth and tenderness, treating them in the most precious of spirits and esteeming them ever so highly.
Husbands should be considerate as they relate to their wives. This word (gnosin) carries the meaning of “wisdom and understanding.” Husbands should approach their marriage relationship intelligently. They are to live with their wives according to knowledge, not fantasy. Marriage is a real-life relationship, not a soap-opera drama. To live with your wife and demonstrate wisdom suggests a deep desire to understand your wife, to get to know her at more than just a surface level. It suggests a sensitivity to her needs and a desire to respond to these needs knowledgeably. In many ways, this sounds like submission, although the language is different. It hints at the concept of mutual submission
Finally, a husband’s prayers will be hindered if this model is not adopted. Hinder means “to interrupt.” Some interpreters suggest that this means that the husband’s prayers are prevented from reaching their destination with God. A more likely understanding of “hinder” represents a more practical interpretation. A husband who treats his wife in the wrong manner will himself be unfit and unable to pray, not to mention that he will likely have little inclination to pray. To put it another way, a husband’s spiritual health depends, in significant measure, on the way he treats his wife
Husbands are to live with their wives in understanding. This is an eye-opener, a fact that is too often ignored and neglected. But the Scripture is clear: a husband is not to be ignorant in living with his wife. He is to know and understand …
• the marriage relationship: what marriage is and what it is to be
• his wife: her nature and emotional makeup; what she needs and wants emotionally and spiritually, her strengths and weaknesses
• the Word of God: what God says about the husband and his duties
A husband is to be a knowledgeable and understanding person. He is to live with his wife, not as a thoughtless and ignorant fool, not as a blind and close-minded beast, not as a detached and inconsiderate observer. The husband is not to be a fool, beast, or observer. He is to be a man of knowledge, a husband who knows and understands his wife and marriage and understands God and his own duty as a husband.
The point is well made: husbands are to honor their wives as being equal in life. Life is a grace; it is an undeserved gift of God. Therefore in life, the husband is to treat the wife as an equal. He is not to be a tyrant, not to dominate and enslave her to serve and to meet his needs and wants. He is to be understanding, loving, gentle, and considerate. He is to honor her as a fellow heir of life, of the wonderful grace and gift of life that God has given us all.
Failure to honor the wife hinders the prayers of the husband. God will not answer the prayers of any husband who dishonors his wife, no matter who he is or how much he professes Christ. What God hears is the sigh of the wife, not the prayers of a mean and domineering husband. The husband can cry out to God all he wants, but God’s back is turned away from him and toward the sigh of the wife. God is going to hear the broken and contrite heart, not the prayers of the arrogant and dominating spirit. Both husband and wife must love one another and live as God says to live, both fulfilling their duty to one another, if they wish God to answer their prayers.
