Love Your Neighbor | Where to Start

Here we are after Easter and settling into spring. As the weather gets nice again does it ever feel like the busyness of life just starts to spin out of control with it, all the activities that start up and places to go and things to do? Maybe it’s time to get the yard spruced up or clean out the garage? Maybe it’s time for soccer league or tee-ball or whatever? Maybe it’s your own kids you’re chasing around. Maybe it’s your grandkids you’re chasing around. Maybe you’re the kid who’s being chased around. Sometimes maybe it all seems to be so overwhelming, we’re just left wondering to ourselves where to even begin.

I’ll admit, sometimes here at Horizon, the church can seem that way too. We’re so busy, and there’s so much to do, and we’ve got so many plans. Sometimes we step back and ask ourselves, where do we start? Lately here at Horizon we’ve had messages about our four-part mission as a church. I’ve talked recently about things like our covenant vocation, and living as resurrection people in the world. And maybe it seems like there are so many vast components to being a Christian that maybe sometimes it seems like we lose track of where we are going and don’t know how to get there. I want to be a part of the church and I want to be a Christian, but sometimes all this Christian life and all this church stuff feels just a little bit overwhelming. I ask myself, what are we even doing? How do I even begin? Where do I start?

I don’t think we’re the first ones to ask that question. In fact, somebody asked a very similar question to Jesus once, and it’s in the Bible. People who lived in Israel back in the day of Jesus had so many laws and rules and codes to keep, I’m sure for many of them it felt a bit overwhelming at times to keep up with it all. So on one occasion Jesus is asked about it. It’s sort of one of those ‘where do I start?’ kind of questions.

Luke 10:25–29 NIV

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

What must I do?

Jesus responds to the question by telling the parable of the good Samaritan. But I want to stop right here and just consider the question this morning. What must I do? There are so many laws, so many rules, so many codes and guidelines. What must I do? Here in this church there are men’s Bible study, women’s Bible study, small groups, youth group, volunteer to be a teacher, volunteer to be a greeter, volunteer to serve on council, volunteer to help the garden. I show up for church, I read my Bible, I show up for prayer group. There is so much. What must I do? We keep talking about this mission at Horizon to help people see Jesus, know Jesus, serve Jesus, share Jesus. Where do I even start?

The answer to that begins in this conversation of Luke 10. Love God and love others. Love God above all, and love your neighbor as yourself. Maybe that still doesn’t give us a starting point. So the conversation continues to the next question. And who is my Neighbor?

Actually, the question is much deeper than that. Luke shares a very important piece of background information about this expert in the law with whom Jesus is talking. Look at verse 29.

Luke 10:29 NIV

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

He wanted to justify himself.

He wanted to justify himself. He wanted a loophole. He wanted a way to still come out on top. And he asks, how shall we define who my neighbor is? Can I define my neighbors in such a way that this command to love my neighbor is easily checked off my list?

Today we begin a new series called Love Your Neighbor. And today we ask ourselves where to start in this whole thing of loving our neighbors. And today Jesus tells us that this whole thing about loving others begins right inside our own hearts.

Check my heart

Who is my neighbor? Sometimes I am so tempted to answer that question in a way that makes me look like a great guy. If Jesus tells me that I must love my neighbor, then I want to define my neighbor as the people that are easiest and most convenient for me to love.

The people that are easiest and most convenient for me to love | selective neighboring

Where do I start in loving my neighbor? It starts with this. I need to check my own heart. I need to check my heart and ensure that I haven’t twisted and mangled my definition of who my neighbor is to fit my own conveniences. Check my heart to make sure that I haven’t fallen into selective neighboring. I select my neighbors based upon my own desires.

Kalamazoo house

Back when I lived in Kalamazoo I owned a house on a street with several neighbors. Looking back on it now, there were a few neighbors I got to know pretty well. They had kids who went to the same school as my kids. I knew where they went to church so I knew they were Christians. They were good neighbors. No, they were great neighbors. I had another neighbor who was an elderly widower. When he passed away, his grown son moved in to the house along with his family. They weren’t mean or anything. But they were different. He didn’t mow the lawn very much. Which I guess didn’t matter because he didn’t water the lawn at all—so eventually it stopped growing. Which I guess didn’t matter because the entire front yard eventually became a parking lot of cars—half of which didn’t run and were only there for spare parts.

He was my neighbor. But I admit, I didn’t see him the same as the others. And I didn’t treat him the same as the others.

Then there were two other houses across the street. Both of these houses were rental properties. Both of these houses needed serious painting and repair. Which I guess didn’t matter because they had shrubs so overgrown that the bushes pretty much swallowed up the houses anyway. These were the houses where the police would show up in the middle of the night because of domestic violence.

I have to admit. I never knew the people who lived in those houses. I never even knew their names. I admit, I didn’t even care.

Then I moved out here to Denver. I moved here during the time of the housing collapse, so when I moved here, my family had to find a house to rent—we weren’t able to buy. Now I had become the renter. Now I was the guy on the block that I never wanted on the block.

I had some work to do in my own heart before I was ready

Check your heart. When I moved here I had to confront all the ways that I had always pushed certain people away and selectively tried to define which neighbors I would love, and which people I would ignore. I had to check my heart and realize that I had some work to do in my own heart before I was ready to say that I could truly love my neighbor.

Maybe you’ve got a neighbor like that on your street. Maybe it’s another student at school. Maybe it’s a coworker. Maybe there’s someone who isn’t going to know that God loves them until they realize there is a neighbor who loves them too.

Check my motives

The second thing to check before we can love neighbors is our motives. Check my motives. Sometimes it’s easy to show love to certain neighbors because I get something out of it in return. They love me back. Or I just enjoy being around them so much. Or we have so much in common. Or we just get along so well. I feel valued and worthwhile when I am with certain people. It’s easy to show neighborly love to people like that. My neighborly love is motivated by something I receive in return.

What’s in it for me? | What do I get out of it?

So when the teacher assigns a group project, who doesn’t want to be in the group with the smart kid who does all the work and gets good grades?

What business entrepreneur wouldn’t want to be invited to a lunch with prospective investors? What organization fundraiser wouldn’t want to play a round of golf with a wealthy philanthropist?

Check your motives. Sometimes we all fall into habits of shrinking our love for others to a select group of people who provide something for us in return.

What motivates my choices of neighbors?

So what motivates my choices of neighbors? Do I dedicate most of my relationship time to people who are just like me? Who look like me, act like me, hold the same opinions and political views as me, live in the same socioeconomic group as me?

Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan to make a point. He knows very well that the person with whom he is talking—the expert in the law—would never identify people from Samaria as neighbors. You don’t show love to people like that.

Start with a name

I check my heart. I check my motives. I know that I need to do something to change the way I see my neighbors. I know I need to do something that helps me see others the way Jesus sees them. Give me step one. What’s the very first thing? I want you to walk out of here today with something in your hands. So we’re going to go through each week of this Love Your Neighbor series with a Love Your Neighbor action step.

Action step

Here’s the action step for today. Start with a name.

Jesus came to earth and lived in a way that demonstrates God’s relentless desire to reach those who are far from him—those who are marginalized and pushed away. Our call to love our neighbors should echo what Jesus did. I need to begin by asking myself who those people are. The probability for most of us in the church—in fact, the probability for ALL of us in the church—is that these are people who are outside of our current social circles. So the reality for many of us, most of us, maybe ALL of us is that we do not already have a long list of close relationships with people who are far from God.

So here we go. This message is about where to start in loving your neighbor. We’re going to start right here at this moment. It starts with a name.

You see, none of us can say that we truly share a love for unchurched people if we cannot also immediately begin to name them. If you ask any one of our grandmothers here to name their grandchildren for you, I bet they could do it. In fact there are some here who would give you a list of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And they can name every single one of them. Of course you can. You love them. They matter to you. How many relationships can you name with neighbors who do not know Jesus?

grandchildren

If we are serious about loving others the way Jesus loves others, then it absolutely has to begin with a name. Because I cannot approach that neighbor a few doors down and say, “I just really want you to know your family is important and means a lot…you person.” Where does it all start. Today for us it starts with names.

Blockmap

Tucked into every bulletin today is a card that kind of looks like a bingo card or a tic-tac-toe square. Take that out. Your house (or apartment unit) is right in the middle. Here’s what you need to do next. Fill in the names of everyone who lives in the next eight closest residences to you. You are not allowed to skip over houses. You cannot say, “well, I know Shirley who lives ten houses down around the corner.” This is based entirely upon proximity. Picture the eight closest houses or apartments to yours, and write in the names of all the people who live there. This is not a hypothetical exercise. Stop right now and fill in as many as you can. If there are any houses in those eight closest in which you do not know the names of the people there, put a small question mark up in the corner of the box.

Learn to be good at names

How did you do? The first time I went through this exercise I could not fill in the names of all the people in all eight boxes. I didn’t even know the names of all the people who literally live within a 200 yard circle of my own house. If you want a place to start with how to love our neighbors, here’s where it starts. It starts with knowing names. You might be thinking something like, “but I’m just not good with names.” Here’s the thing: I’m not naturally good with names either. Nobody is naturally good with names. That’s not an excuse. People who are good at names are good at it because they made an intentional choice to learn and remember names, not because they are just naturally good at it. It takes an intentional choice. You have to decide that you are going to make a priority out of meeting new people, learning, and remembering their names. You must be intentional about it, or it will not never happen.

God knows my name

Speaking of those who are intentional about personally knowing others. Here’s what king David had to say about it in Psalm 139.

Psalm 139:7–16 NIV

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Our God dedicates himself to knowing you completely. He doesn’t sit on the sideline and just wait for you to come to him. Jesus came to us. God does not wait for you to approach and start a relationship with him. Jesus came and started that relationship with us. He did that for you. He knows you that well. He loves you that much. And he has that exact same love for those about you—for all your neighbors. We are directed by God to love others because God loves them, just as much as he loves you.

It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done. Maybe you feel like God has forgotten you, or you feel like God is letting you down. Look at what the prophet Isaiah says.

Isaiah 49:14–16 NIV

But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Your name is so important to God that he says it is written on his hand. That’s how important you are to God. That’s how much you are loved by him. That’s how much you mean to him.

So if your name means that much to God. If the names of others mean that much to God. Will you follow Jesus today and decide to make the name of someone else important enough for you to remember? Because it is important to God, and he will always remember.