Formed By Wisdom

INTRO: I want you to imagine that your closest family and friends are all in a room and have been given the assignment take turns standing up and talking about you. The key is that they do not know you are listening, but in fact you are watching and listening. Now what would you HOPE they would say?

This little mental exercise helps to show us what we aspire to. You see, in this life, we are building a legacy. The only question is what kind of legacy; a legacy of wisdom and honor, or a legacy of foolishness and shame?

ILL: Not long ago, Mrs Francis Clark, a godly and faithful woman in our church, went home to be with Jesus. And as we held her funeral and throughout the visitation and times that I sat with her family, their words revealed all that you needed to know- she was a woman to be celebrated.

I suppose I say all that to pose this question: What story is your life telling?

Throughout our study of Proverbs, we have emphasized the fear of the Lord as the beginning of wisdom. In chapter 1:20, we saw Solomon personify wisdom as a woman who is to be sought after. Chapter 31 aptly closes this book by describing that applied wisdom as a spouse - a life partner that brilliantly and poetically illustrates how a truly wise and godly legacy is formed.

The hinge point for this sermon is found in Prov 31: 30.

Proverbs 31:30 NASB95

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

This passage tells us our aiming point. If we are going to apply the wisdom of Proverbs, then we must aspire above all else to rightly know God and rightly respond to Him by surrendering ourselves fully and wholly to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

On a high level, this chapter can be divided into 3 principles of a life formed by wisdom and I want to give them to you now, and then we’ll discuss what they mean and why they matter to us today. So, go ahead and take out your sermon guides and you can fill in your blanks. Here are the 3 principles:

Identity Clarifies Calling —> Calling Displays Character —> Character Reveals Identity

In the first verse, we are introduced to King Lemuel. This is not a Hebrew name, but again God has shown that He uses all sorts of people to reveal His wisdom. At any rate, we have a record of instruction that was passed down to King Lemuel from his mother. Moms are instrumental in shaping and teaching their children.

Let’s look at the first 9 verses together (READ) Prov 31:1-9

Proverbs 31:1–9 NASB95

1 The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him: 2 What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Or for rulers to desire strong drink, 5 For they will drink and forget what is decreed, And pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to him whose life is bitter. 7 Let him drink and forget his poverty And remember his trouble no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, For the rights of all the unfortunate. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

There is an odd emphasis in verse 2- an escalating series of ‘whats’ that indicate a passion or urgency. Perhaps she is frustrated with some of Lemuel’s choices in life or maybe she was appealing to him one last time before he would officially occupy his throne.

Whatever the particular circumstance, what we can see clearly is that the Queen mother is relaying the importance of the king’s life and role. Or, said another way:

Identity Clarifies Calling (1-9)

Allow me to summarize these passages:

In v. 3, she tells Lemuel that, as a king, he should not surrender his strengths to his lusts

In v. 4, she tells him that, as a king, he should not give in to strong drink as it hinders one’s ability to act sensibly.

In v. 5-7, she contrasts his position as king to others. This is not condoning drunkenness for some, but rather illustrating that the king’s identity demands a strong character.

In v. 8-9, she tells him that he must advocate for justice and righteousness for his entire kingdom.

You see, Lemuel was a king; that was his role. He was born for this. But the words of his mother press deeper. Lemuel’s identity, as one who fears the Lord, means that the calling as king demanded character and integrity that people could trust; that they could follow. Perhaps if he was a peasant or a farmer, his calling would not have as high a demand on his character. But then again, just because society has lower expectations does not mean that we should settle for less.

The key is knowing your identity and not confusing your identity with what you do.

ILL: For me, I am a pastor, but that is not my identity- it’s my vocational calling. I didn’t used to be a pastor… my identity didn’t change, but my calling did. I am a husband and father, but that is not my identity. It’s my family calling. I have not always been a husband or father, but God graciously called me into this role.

My identity is who God calls me. He calls me His child - one who belongs to Him forever. There may be a time in my life where I am called to another vocation or other roles, but I cannot be clear on any calling if I do not know who I am.

King Lemuel knew his identity. His mother made sure of it! You see, he was not just a king, he was a God-fearing king, and that fundamental identity clarified how he would live out his role and calling.

For you and me, we must recognize that, in Christ, we are a new creation. When we repented of our sins and believed upon Jesus, He gave us a new identity. And with that new identity, He has clarified that our calling- first and foremost, is to live like we are sons of the Most High God!

Ephesians 4:1 “1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called,”

Now, let me remind us all that living out our identity and calling is something we will wrestle with on this side of glory. We are in a battle. And the only perfectly wise one is Jesus. 1 Corinthians 1:24 “24 but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.”

Still, as we try to understand our identity and our calling, we still have to figure out what to do with all of that. That’s where this Proverb leads us next. Verses 10-27 offer somewhat of a description of how a calling is ideally lived out in light of our identity. Or we might say,

Calling Displays Character (10-27)

These verses are poetically arranged in what is called an acrostic. We can’t see this in our English translation, but if we were looking at the original Hebrew script, we would see that each verse begins with a subsequent letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This helps with memorization and points us to the intended inclusio that goes all the way back to Prov 1:7 about the fear of the Lord.

I want to take time and read through this together. (READ) Prov. 31:10-27

Proverbs 31:10–27 NASB95

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.

There is a lot we can talk about here. What I want you to see this morning is that our character is displayed in what we do. So, as an excellent wife, the woman’s character shines through her calling as a helpmate, an entrepreneur, caretaker, and most importantly, as a woman of God.

V. 10 sets us up for a harsh reality: To find someone who has applied wisdom in their life in such a way is rare. Not impossible, but rare. Someone once said that there are good, godly men and women in every corner of the world… the only problem is that the world is round!

In reality, the reason it’s rare to find a spouse who has partnered with wisdom in such a profound way is because we are constantly facing challenges, temptations, and our weak flesh. We are all on a journey of sanctification- and our character is constantly being developed.

But look here- this is exactly what God intended our lives and marriages to encompass. And while we may see gaps in our lives, we can lean into the mercy and grace of our Lord to make us more like Him.

The whole book of Proverbs instructs us to refuse folly, and choose wisdom. In the capstone chapter, we see how beautiful it is when someone knows they are a child of God, they understand their calling, and they lean into it. Let me run through a list of character traits displayed in this section of the proverbial ‘excellent wife’:

trustworthy (in general, yes, but especially to her husband. IOW, the 2 have become 1 flesh authentically. She is his best friend and confidant. She knows his vulnerabilities, and he knows that she will not exploit them, but instead will consistently do good to him… always.)

proactive (she sees the opportunities and needs, and is responsible to take them on)

generous (she gives of herself wisely - for her household first, and then to others also)

thoughtful (she doesn’t make decisions without thinking through the consequences)

kind (she is not harsh.. not with her family nor with people she meets.)

realistic (she can reflect upon her actions and motives and see the fruit of her work)

diligent (she is not lazy- she works hard and can be counted on)

gracious (she does not close her eyes to opportunities to show kindness and grace.)

prepared (she plans for success for her household.)

supportive (her husband is able to confidently lead because she is not undermining him or competing. She embraces her role as God calls her and excels!)

faithful (She has a strong relationship with God. She smiles at the future because even in uncertainty, she knows that God is sovereign.)

You might be able to pick out a few more, but all of these character traits tell the story of who we are and what we have been called into in this life; Not in our own strength, mind you, but through union with Christ as He transforms us. Or, to say it another way,

Character Reveals Identity (28-31)

Do you know what you call someone who claims to be one thing, but observation reveals that they are not who they say they are? That person is an imposter. A pretender. What we see in Proverbs 31 is that, though we can fool people for a little while, at the end of the day it is our character that those closest to us will remember.

Let’s read Prov:31:28-31 (READ)

Proverbs 31:28–31 NASB95

28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

The test of character seems to come from those closest to us. v. 28 says that her children rise up and bless her and her husband praises her...

Let me ask: What would the people closest to you say about your character?

ILL: One of the greatest testimonies you’ll ever hear is that of a spouse and children of a godly individual. Now, this is not to say that you are expected to never mess up. No, but it is to say that when we put our eyes upon Christ, He draws us close; changes our desires. When we fail, we repent, make right what we can, and continue to follow after Jesus.

How many of you could honestly say that your spouse or parent is a blessing? I love the perspective that comes out here in v. 29. When godly character is displayed, it’s easy to see how precious this union between a husband and wife can be. Look at this. (READ Prov 31:29)

Proverbs 31:29 NASB95

29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”

The husband in this proverb finds himself in genuine admiration of his bride. Not for her beauty. Not because she is charming. No, because she fears the Lord. Because her life is surrendered fully and wholly unto Jesus Christ. She is a model of faithfulness. Thus, he praises her. He is her biggest cheerleader.

Now, let me pause for a second and ask you to consider something. There are a lot of folks who miss this- I did for a long time- I’m trying to improve here. Did you know that encouragement is more powerful than criticism. Imagine if you and your spouse were both constantly building one another up- serving one another and encouraging one another in life and godliness. Imagine if we could praise our family members not just for their actions, but for their godly character.

Actions are temporary. But our character reveals who we are. After all, we are not aiming for behavior modification, we are aiming for heart transformation.

So, where does this land us on this Mother’s Day?

First, I want to remind you that the pursuit of wisdom is a lifelong adventure. We must constantly humble ourselves and surrender our lives to the Lord… not so that we are able to boast in our godliness, but so that our lives would reflect Christ and bring glory and honor to His name.

So, in a world where people clamor for attention and affirmation through airbrushed photos, hot-takes, flattery, or whatever, let us who follow Christ aspire for something greater- a legacy in which our lives exemplify godly wisdom applied.

Let me give you 3 quick ways you can take action this week:

Personally Pursue Christ (Your inner life)

This is the fear of the Lord applied in our lives. We must know who God is and rightly respond in repentance and belief.

Maybe you’ve never trusted in Jesus Christ for salvation. Friend, I urge you to talk to someone today about taking that step. It is the most important thing you will ever do.

Prioritize Righteousness in your daily decisions

Obedience to Christ means that we put away the folly and selfish ways of the world. Because we know our identity, we must live it out.

Publicly Praise Faithfulness (Relationships)

Look for opportunities to celebrate people who are demonstrating their identity and calling… especially in your family. Thank them. Encourage them. Let them know that they are building a legacy that honors the Lord.

That’s why it is appropriate for us to honor moms today… but the reality is that this should not be an event, but a practice.

When your wife is laboring for your family- though it may feel odd, acknowledge her godly fulfillment of her calling. When your daughter extends compassion to a classmate, let her know that her character is testifying of her faithfulness. When your husband is leading well, support him.

Listen, one day people will stand around and talk about you, and you won’t be here to defend yourself! The good news is that the legacy we are building is not ultimately secured by our strength, but by the grace of the One who is making us wise.

So let us consider how our identity, our calling, and our character, are telling the story of our lives. May it be that that story brings glory and honor to God.

[PRAY]

Discuss: In Proverbs 31:30, what contrast is being made between outward qualities and inward character? Why is this distinction so important?

Discuss: How does our calling in life reveal our character over time?

Discuss: In what ways can we help each other keep the focus on heart transformation rather than outward performance?