Competent to Counsel

OPENING: THE DIVINE DESIGN

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 1: Title Slide]

Good morning. I want to start this morning by taking you back to the garden. Genesis chapter 2. Picture Adam there in the garden of Eden. All of creation stretches around him. It is magnificent. It is ordered. It is perfect.

Adam has naming authority. When he sees the animals, he names them. He is not powerless. He has responsibility. He has purpose. He has meaningful work that matters.

Adam also has intimacy with his Maker. He walks with God. He talks with God. He knows God. He is not distant from the throne. He is not separated. He is in relationship with the God who made him.

And yet, God looks at all of this. God sees this man with purpose and work and intimacy with the Almighty. And God says something that should strike us as remarkable.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 2: Genesis 2:18 - "It is not good for the human to be alone"]

Genesis 2:18. "It is not good for the human to be alone."

[PAUSE]

Let that sink in for a moment.

Think about what God has already said is not good in the creation account. God said many things about His creation. He said it was good. He said it was very good. But there is something He said was not good. Do you know what it is? Aloneness.

He did not say the serpent was not good. The serpent came later. He did not say disease was not good. Suffering was not good. Death was not good. Those things come as a result of the fall. But before sin. Before the fall. Before any of that. God said one thing was not good.

Aloneness is not good. The human was not designed to be alone. The human was designed for relationship. Not relationship that is casual. Not connection that is surface. But covenant. Real covenant.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 3: Covenant Relationships - Jehovah-given]

What is a covenant relationship?

[PAUSE]

It is not casual. You do not have casual covenant. A covenant relationship is the kind of partnership where another person knows your weaknesses. They know your failures. They know the places where you have stumbled. And they still believe in you. They still pour into you. They still sharpen you.

A covenant relationship is where you help each other grow stronger. More faithful. More rooted in God's truth. Not because anyone is forcing you. But because you have chosen to commit to each other's spiritual growth. That is what God intended from the beginning.

But I notice something about our world today. We live in the most connected age in human history. You can send a message to someone on the other side of the world and they receive it in a fraction of a second. We have more friends on social media than we know what to do with. We have more access to more people than any generation before us.

And yet loneliness is an epidemic. People sit in rooms filled with hundreds of acquaintances and feel utterly abandoned. We confuse access with intimacy. We confuse connection with covenant. We have a thousand shallow friendships and not one person who knows us deeply.

That is not what God intended. And that is what I want to talk about this morning.

THE CENTRAL QUESTION

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 4: "How do imperfect people help other imperfect people?"]

But here is the question that stops many of us. Here is the hesitation that keeps many believers frozen. How do imperfect people help other imperfect people?

We know our own struggles. We know the places where we have failed. We know the times we have turned back from following Jesus. We know the sin that clings to us. We see ourselves clearly enough. [PAUSE] And when we look at someone else who is struggling spiritually, we ask ourselves a hard question. What do I have to offer? What authority do I have? Who am I to speak into someone else's journey when my own journey is so marked with stumbling?

This question is not new. The disciples asked it. The early church asked it. Believers throughout the centuries have asked it. And the answer that Scripture gives us is this. You are more equipped than you realize. You have access to what is sufficient. You have the Word of God. That is enough.

But we need more than just theory. We need to see it in action. We need an example. We need to look at two imperfect people working together in a way that honors God and strengthens both of them. And that is exactly what we find when we look at David and Jonathan.

COVENANT IN ACTION: DAVID AND JONATHAN

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 5: David & Jonathan - Covenant Relationship]

David was not without weakness. God loved David. And David loved God. He loved God with passion. His psalms overflow with raw emotion poured out before the throne. He trusted God. He relied on God. He knew how to be expressive with God.

But here is David's weakness. He was not very relational with people. He was not expressive with others. He was a bit of a loner. He did not naturally initiate friendships. By his own nature, David might have said, I do not know how to do this with people. I do not have much to offer in a friendship. I am better with God than I am with people. I am comfortable alone.

Jonathan was Saul's son. Jonathan loved David. He was expressive with David. We read about his initiative. He kept coming back. He kept reaching out to David. He kept choosing to strengthen his friend. But Jonathan had a different weakness. We do not see him mention God as much. Perhaps he was more people-reliant than God-reliant. Perhaps he was too focused on the human relationship and not enough on the Source behind it.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 6: Strengths & Weaknesses comparison]

These were two imperfect young men. Neither one arrived at this friendship with a complete toolkit. Neither one had worked out all his issues before deciding to pour into the other. But God put them together. God wove their lives together. And together they grew stronger. Together they grew more faithful. Together they grew more rooted in God.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 7: 1 Samuel 20:41 - The Emotional Connection]

Listen to the account in First Samuel chapter 20, verse 41. David and Jonathan had experienced a devastating separation brought on by Saul's jealousy and rage. But they found each other one last time. And here is what happened.

"After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together--but David wept the most."

This is not a casual goodbye between two acquaintances. [PAUSE] This is covenant. This is the kind of relationship where a man is willing to grieve deeply in front of another man. David was not guarding his image. He was not protecting himself with false strength. He was being real. He was being known. And Jonathan was there, weeping with him. That matters. That is covenant.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 8: 1 Samuel 23:15-16 - Strengthening in God]

But look at what else happened in their relationship. Look at First Samuel 23, verses 15 and 16. While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. David was running for his life. He was hunted. He was afraid. And here is what his covenant partner did. "And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God."

Notice that phrase. Jonathan helped him find strength in God. [PAUSE] Not in himself. Not in their friendship alone. But in God. Jonathan became the instrument through which David reconnected with his Source. That is covenant. That is what it looks like when one imperfect person helps another imperfect person.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 9: 1 Samuel 23:17-18 - Covenant Made Before the Lord]

Then we read these words in verses 17 and 18. "'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.' The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh."

Jonathan was not a prophet. He was not claiming to see the future. Jonathan was not a theologian with formal training. He was an imperfect young man who spoke truth to his struggling friend. He reminded David of God's promise. He stood with him. He chose to be faithful to their covenant even when it cost him dearly. His own father was David's enemy. Yet Jonathan remained true. [PAUSE] That is courage. That is covenant.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 10: God put these two imperfect young men together]

Do you see what God did? God put these two imperfect young men together to help each other grow. In the process of their covenant relationship, both of them became sharper. Both became stronger. Both became more faithful. That is the power of covenant relationships.

THE PRINCIPLE: IRON SHARPENS IRON

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 11: Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron]

The Scripture describes this principle perfectly in Proverbs 27, verse 17. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Notice what the proverb does not say. It does not say that one perfectly sharpened piece of iron sharpens a dull one. It does not say that you must arrive at mastery before you can help another person grow. It does not set an impossibly high bar. It simply says that iron sharpens iron.

The sharpening happens in the friction. [PAUSE] The growth comes from the honest encounter between two people who are both still in the process of becoming what God intends. Both are still works in progress. Both are still learning. Both are still stumbling. But together, in the friction, they grow sharper.

David and Jonathan were both imperfect. Both were still growing. Both had significant weaknesses. Yet their covenant relationship became a place where both of them grew stronger. David became more relational. More vulnerable. More willing to be human in front of another person. Jonathan became more rooted in God's strength. More willing to trust God. More willing to obey God even when it meant disappointing his own father.

This is not a low bar that we are talking about. This is not a call to casual acquaintance or meddling in others' business. But it is saying that you do not need to be perfect. You need to be faithful. You need to be honest. You need to be willing to sharpen someone else even as you yourself are being sharpened.

THE SUFFICIENCY OF SCRIPTURE

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 12: Romans 15:14 - Competent to Instruct One Another]

The apostle Paul writes in Romans 15, verse 14. "I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge, and competent to instruct one another."

Paul is not writing this to pastors alone. He is not writing this only to those who have formal training or credentials or fancy degrees. He is writing this to the Roman church. To ordinary believers. To people like you and me. He says you are competent. You have what you need. You are full of goodness. You are filled with knowledge. And you can instruct one another. [PAUSE] That is a remarkable statement.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 13: What Competent to Counsel argues]

There is a book and concept we reference here called Competent to Counsel. It argues that the Bible is sufficient for one-on-one discipleship. The Word of God provides the basis for what we might call nouthetic counseling. This is a method of encouraging and confronting each other using Scripture. At the root of many of our problems is sin. And the expectation is not shame or judgment. The expectation is genuine repentance, followed by times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 14: Three quotes from Competent to Counsel]

The author makes three key assertions. First, listen to this. "God's Word changes people, changes their thinking, changes their decisions, and changes their behavior." The Word of God is living and active. It accomplishes what God intends. It does not return empty. When two believers open Scripture together and ask the Holy Spirit to speak, transformation happens.

Second, "Maturation is fundamentally the process of learning to discipline one's self and to carry personal responsibility." It is not something done to us or for us. It is something we do. We do it with the help of God's Word and God's people. But the work is ours to do.

Third, "All living organisms grow. Growth may sometimes take place in large spurts, and at other times may occur more slowly. In all Christians the potential for growth is significant." [PAUSE] It is not magic. It is not instant. It is not effortless. But it is real. And it is lasting.

These are not revolutionary ideas. These are the foundations of biblical Christianity.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 15: Do You Believe You Can Help Someone Grow?]

BOUNDARIES: WHAT WE ARE NOT SAYING

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 16: Context and Criticisms]

But we must be honest. We must be careful and clear. There are things we are not claiming. There are lanes that we are not stepping into. There are roles that require training and authority that we do not possess.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 17: What we are not saying]

We are not prophets. We are not speaking for God in an authoritative way that bypasses Scripture. We are not claiming new revelation. We are pointing people to what God has already said.

We are not therapists. We are not diagnosing mental illness. We are not prescribing treatment for clinical conditions. We are not replacing professional mental health care. Some people need that care. They need to see someone with training. They need medication. They need clinical support. That is not what we are here to provide.

We are not life coaches. We are not selling a system for success. We are not promising that if you follow our formula, you will achieve your dreams or become the best version of yourself. That is not our role.

We are not theologians with formal training. We are not writing systematic theology or producing doctrinal statements. We are simply people who know Jesus and who know His Word.

We are not medical experts. We are not diagnosing physical illness. We are not prescribing treatment. If someone is sick, they need a doctor.

We are not grief counselors with specialized training in trauma. We are not claiming expertise in the kind of deep psychological work that follows profound loss or abuse.

We are not financial advisors. We do not have expertise in investments or complex financial planning.

We are not marriage counselors. We are not trying to fix a broken marriage when it needs professional intervention.

We are not addiction specialists. Addiction requires comprehensive treatment that may include medical intervention, professional counseling, and support groups. We cannot replace that.

We are not claiming to be anything other than what we are. A believer who knows Jesus. Someone who has read and studied Scripture. Someone who wants to help another believer grow closer to Jesus. That is all. That is enough.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 18: Responsibility and outcomes]

There is another thing we are not claiming. Listen carefully. We are not saying that if this person is doing well spiritually, then you are doing a good job. We are not claiming that your input determines their spiritual condition. We are not saying that if this person is struggling spiritually, then you must be doing something wrong. We are not accepting responsibility for an outcome that belongs to God.

You are not the Holy Spirit. You are not responsible for changing anyone's heart. You can point them to Scripture. You can challenge them. You can encourage them. You can pray for them. But the transformation belongs to God. The growth belongs to the Spirit. You are simply someone who cares enough to speak truth in love.

That is all. And that is exactly what is needed.

BOTH GIVE, BOTH RECEIVE

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 19: Both men benefited and contributed]

When we look at David and Jonathan, we see something crucial. We see that both men benefited. We see that both men contributed to the covenant relationship. It was not a one-way street. It was not an expert dispensing wisdom to a novice. It was two people, both flawed, both growing, both helping each other move toward God.

David was a loner. Jonathan taught him relational vulnerability. David strengthened Jonathan's faith. Jonathan taught David to be human. David reminded Jonathan to trust God. Neither one completed the other, but together they grew stronger. Together they moved toward Jesus.

This is what covenant relationships look like. This is what iron sharpening iron looks like. This is what it means when God says that it is not good for you to be alone. You need people. You need to be poured into. You also need to pour into others. Both movements matter. Both are part of the design.

THE COURAGE TO CONTINUE

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 20: Can we wash our hands from discipleship?]

But here is the question that haunts many believers. Here is the fear that keeps us quiet. Because we are flawed, can we wash our hands from one-on-one discipleship? Can we say that it is too risky, that we might do harm, that we are not equipped, and therefore we will simply not try?

The Scripture gives us an answer. And it is a hard word. Listen to Proverbs 24, verses 10 through 12.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 21: Proverbs 24:10-12]

"If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength! Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?"

This is not gentle language. [PAUSE] This is a direct challenge. God is saying that if we know someone is walking toward destruction and we say nothing, we cannot plead ignorance. We cannot claim that we did not know what to do. God weighs the heart. God sees. God knows whether we were truly incapable or simply unwilling. And there will be consequences for our silence.

Now I want to be clear. This does not mean we go out looking for people to correct and confront. This does not mean we become meddlesome or overbearing. But it does mean that if God puts someone in our path who is struggling spiritually, we have a responsibility to speak. We have an obligation to offer what we know of Scripture. We have a duty to help them find strength in God. [PAUSE] That is not optional. That is part of being a believer.

We cannot hide behind our imperfection and call it humility. Our imperfection is real. But our responsibility is also real.

THE GOAL AND THE SOURCE

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 22: Colossians 1:28-29]

Paul writes in Colossians 1, verses 28 and 29. "He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me."

Do you see what Paul is doing? He is reminding us of the goal. The goal is not behavior modification. The goal is not moralism. The goal is not that someone stops doing bad things and starts doing good things while still remaining distant from Jesus. The goal is maturity in Christ. Full maturity. Complete transformation. A person becoming more and more like Jesus in every way.

And notice where the energy comes from. It does not come from Paul's eloquence. It does not come from Paul's education or his authority. It comes from Christ. All the energy that Paul needs comes from Christ. Paul strenuously contends, but he does so in the power of Jesus. He teaches and admonishes, but he does so with wisdom that comes from God.

This is crucial for us to remember. We are not the source. Jesus is the source. We are simply the vessel. We are simply the person willing to be used. The transformation belongs to God. The wisdom belongs to God. The power belongs to God. We are just the friend willing to speak truth.

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 23: 1 Corinthians 10:33-11:1]

Earlier in First Corinthians 10, Paul makes an even more personal statement. "For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."

Notice what Paul does not say. He does not say, Follow my example as I have arrived at perfection. He says, Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. He is telling them that they are watching someone who is in the process. They are watching someone who is following Jesus. And their call is to do the same. They will find others in their lives who will watch their example. [PAUSE] That is the way the kingdom of God spreads. Not by people who have it all figured out. But by people who are following Jesus.

That is who you are. You are someone following Jesus. And that is enough.

CLOSING: THREE REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

As we close, I want to leave you with three questions. These are not questions with easy answers. These are not questions to answer quickly and move on. These are questions to sit with. These are questions to pray through.

The first question is this. [PAUSE] Do you feel capable of helping someone else grow spiritually? Do you know the Scriptures?

[ADVANCE TO SLIDE 24: Three questions for reflection]

Perhaps you feel like David. Perhaps you are not naturally relational. Perhaps you do not naturally initiate. Perhaps you think that spiritual depth is not your gift. But the question is simple. Do you know Jesus? Do you read the Bible? Can you point someone to Scripture? Do you pray? [PAUSE] If you answered yes to these questions, then you have what you need. Your temperament does not disqualify you. Your lack of formal training does not disqualify you. Your imperfection does not disqualify you. If you know Jesus and you know His Word, then you are capable.

The second question is this. Are you willing to lower yourself and initiate with someone for their sake?

This is the Jonathan question. Jonathan was the prince. He had status and authority. He had access to power. Yet he chose again and again to reach out to David. He chose to initiate. He chose to be vulnerable first. He chose to invest in David's wellbeing. [PAUSE] This is what covenant looks like. It is someone saying, I see you. I am choosing you. I am going to pour into you not because you ask but because I care.

Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to notice when someone is struggling and reach out? Are you willing to be the first to say, I want to help. I want to pour into you. I want to be the kind of friend who knows you deeply. This is not about manipulation or control. This is about genuine love. Are you willing?

The third question is this. Is someone pouring into you? Are you pouring into anyone else?

Remember what we said. Covenant relationships are not one-way. They are reciprocal. David poured into Jonathan. Jonathan poured into David. Both of them grew. But this means you cannot do this in isolation. You need someone who is pouring into you. Someone who knows your weaknesses and is still helping you grow. Someone who is pointing you to Scripture and helping you find strength in God. [PAUSE] And at the same time, you need to be pouring into someone else. You need to be the person who initiates. You need to be the person who cares enough to speak truth. You need to be the friend who strengthens others in God.

Is this happening in your life? Is someone investing in your spiritual growth? Are you investing in someone else's? [LONG PAUSE for reflection]

FINAL CALL

God saw that aloneness was not good. So He established covenant. He established the pattern where His people are woven together, growing stronger together, sharpening one another, helping one another find strength in Him.

This is not a burden. This is a gift. This is not a legal requirement. This is an invitation. This is the way God designed us to become all that He intends.

Look around. [PAUSE] There is someone in your life who needs a covenant partner. There is someone who needs someone to speak truth to them. There is someone who needs someone to believe in them when their faith is wavering. That someone might be you.

And there is someone in your life who can pour into you. Someone who knows Scripture. Someone who knows Jesus. Someone who cares enough to speak hard truth in love. You need them. Seek them out. Say yes to them.

Do this. Not perfectly. Not from a place of expertise. But from a place of love. Do this as you follow Jesus. Do this remembering that the power is not in you but in the Word and the Spirit. Do this as an act of obedience to the God who said that it is not good for you to be alone.

This is the design of God for covenant relationships. This is His design for one another partnerships. [LONG PAUSE] And it is good. It is very good.