How To Curtail Conflict (Philippians 1:27–2:4)

As Paul writes this letter he is aware of the relational stress in the church at Philippi due to conflict.

Therefore, in this passage we find four essentials for curtailing conflict, and thus relieving some stress in our lives.

A Spirit of Cooperation (1:27)

Spiritual growth is not automatic. It requires cooperation with God and the application of spiritual diligence and discipline.

Rod Hundley Cooperation is doing with a smile what you have to do anyway.

If you don’t believe in cooperation, look what happens when a car loses one of its wheels.

Unity does not mean uniformity; it means cooperation in the midst of diversity.

There are few, if any, jobs in which ability alone is sufficient. Needed also are loyalty, sincerity, enthusiasm, and cooperation.

Evil cannot gain a foothold in the city of God unless it finds a spirit of cooperation among the visible people of God.

Knowing conflict is brewing in the church at Philippi, Paul writes: Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (1:27a).

The word translated worthy means to be of equal value.

Our salvation and forgiveness were bought at a very high price—the precious blood of Jesus.

How do we live a life worthy of the high price paid for our salvation and forgiveness?

Paul tells us: Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel (1:27b).

The phrase one spirit refers to unity or getting along with other people.

The phrase contending as one pictures a team effort or cooperation.

Success in marriage, church, parenting, business, government, education, or whatever depends on cooperation with people and commitment to the principles of God’s Word.

Paul wanted the Philippians to work together for the cause of the gospel.

Only let your conduct: The ancient Greek word translated “conduct” means literally, “to live as a citizen.”

Paul told the Philippians to be good, patriotic citizens of the kingdom of God.

This is a theme he will draw on again in Philippians.

I may hear of your affairs: Paul wanted the Philippians to know they were accountable before him.

He would check up on them.

That you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind: Paul wanted to know that the Philippian church stayed together as one body, without becoming fragmented and fractionalized.

Striving together for the faith of the gospel: Paul wanted their unity to be put to a productive purpose, so that an increasing trust and belief in the good news of Jesus Christ would be promoted among those who already believed and among those who had yet to believe.

Therefore, what does the Bible tell us in Romans 12:18?

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18

Paul wants the Philippians to be bold before their adversaries.

And not in any way terrified by your adversaries: In the ancient Greek language, terrified “is a vivid term, unique in the Greek Bible and denoting the uncontrollable stampede of startled horses.”

In the face of this kind of opposition, Paul wanted the Philippian Christians to have the same kind of boldness he had.

Which is to them a proof of perdition: When Christians are not in any way terrified by [their] adversaries, that in itself is proof of perdition—meaning destruction—to their adversaries.

Perdition (the ancient Greek word apolia) means destruction, wasting, or damnation.

The word is also used in places like Philippians 3:19 and 2 Peter 2:1.

Both Judas (John 17:12) and the Antichrist (2 Thessalonians 2:3) are called the son of perdition.

When Christians stand strong against intimidation against the world, the flesh and the devil, it shows those spiritual enemies that their ultimate destruction is certain.

When our spiritual enemies fail to make us afraid, they have failed completely because they really have no other weapon than fear and intimidation.

When we fail to be not in any way terrified by our adversaries, we give “hope” and “confidence” to our spiritual enemies, even though it is a false hope and confidence because their destruction is still assured.

But to you of salvation: When Christians are not in any way terrified by [their] adversaries, it is also evidence of their own salvation. In the Lord, we can surprise ourselves with our boldness.

Why the Philippians need not be terrified by their adversaries: the attacks and challenges they face are ordained by God (29–30)

CAUSES OF CONFLICT

Mix two or more people together and you have a montage of differing personalities, priorities, perceptions, and preferences … a concoction ripe for conflict. Often the result is fingers pointed in accusation rather than hands shaking in agreement.

Random words of blessing can be quickly eaten up by words of bitterness.

Conflict was experienced by the first family God created … conflict among Adam and Eve and their offspring … and it is still being experienced in homes today, as well as in workplaces and churches and among nations.

Who hasn’t at times wanted to throw their hands up in the air and exclaim, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

Well, we can—with the empowerment of God and through our obedience to Him.

His Word provides principles for peace that can bring about the supernatural result of reconciliation and resolution, from the board room to the bedroom.

“Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Why Are Some People Attackers and Others Avoiders?

Everyone has it … no one wants it … no one can escape it! What is it?

One common denominator for us all is conflict. But where does it come from?

People are who they are and act the way they act as a result of a combination of factors.

Natural temperament or personality types

— You were born with a natural bent toward being outgoing or reserved, compliant or defiant, aggressive or passive.

— Your temperament/personality traits can work to your advantage or disadvantage depending on whether you learn to use them productively in resolving conflicts or destructively in creating conflicts.

“Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” (2 Corinthians 3:5)

• Early childhood experiences

— You were deeply influenced by your early family relationships through words you heard and behaviors you saw that gave you messages about “who you are” and “what you do” and how to respond to conflict.

— You can change the assumptions you adopted about yourself and about conflict resolution that are influencing your behavior today by identifying the messages you received growing up in your family and evaluating them as to whether they are helpful or harmful.

“Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good.” (Job 34:4)

• Physical factors

— You were born with certain physical characteristics such as brain chemistry that may be affecting the way you respond to the rush of adrenaline experienced during times of conflict.

— You can have a thorough medical checkup.

When experiencing a conflict, you may even want to have an evaluation about brain chemistry.

Did you know that you can learn ways to actually change the chemistry of your brain if it is causing you problems in conflict resolution?

“He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” (Psalm 107:20)

• Learned behaviors

— You may have unintentionally learned patterns of responding to conflict by following the example of significant people in your life and may be subconsciously modeling your behavior after those who either attack or avoid conflict.

— You can intentionally unlearn a behavior pattern by determining to learn new behaviors and by modeling yourself after people who embrace conflicts as a fact of life and who find ways of productively resolving them.

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.” (Proverbs 1:5)

What Are the Unmet Needs That Drive Attackers and Avoiders?

We are all created with three God-given inner needs—the need for love, for significance, and for security.

These needs can be translated into the need to feel heard and understood, to feel encouraged and at peace, to feel affirmed and accepted, to feel confident and courageous.

Or these needs can be negatively translated into the need to feel superior.

Unmet needs can become the driving force behind why we act the way we act when we are faced with a conflict.

The challenge, of course, is to find a way to get our legitimate needs met legitimately rather than illegitimately, and that can be accomplished only through a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)

Attackers Feel Insignificant

— Children who grow up feeling insignificant within their families typically become driven by the need to feel significant.

This drive can result in finding destructive ways of meeting this need.

— Children who feel powerless can develop aggressive tactics to overpower others.

These newly developed wolves become fiercely competitive in order to feel like true “winners” … they become dictatorial in order to feel powerful.

Thus, their need to feel significant is met temporarily.

Curtailing conflict requires a spirit of cooperation