The Architect’s Model

Welcome

Well good morning, friends! Happy Mother’s Day! I’m really grateful to have you with us today. If we haven’t met yet, my name’s Dan and I serve here as the Teaching Pastor for Lifepoint | Worthington.

If this is your first time here…

Update on Gospel Translation Project

Series Set-up

Alright, we are staring a new series today walking through what I think is an endless fascinating, but desperately confusing book in the Bible: Song of Songs (or you maybe you call it Song of Solomon).

If you’ve read this book before, you’re probably thinking, “Uh..why?”

And if you haven’t…you will be!

But my hope is that we would be captivated by the story unfolding in Song of Songs. Because in the end, we will find this to be a poetic journey through the entire human experience - talking about relationships, life, death, intimacy, vulnerability - ultimately exploring what it means to be human….what it means to love and be loved!

All in eights weeks! So buckle up.

Here’s what we’re going to do today.

We’re going go do an overview of this book - to get the lay of the land - how it’s organized - what makes it so challenging - and how it’s been understood over the last 3000 years (give or take).

Then I’ll lay out the framework we’re using here.

We’ll end looking at the first half of chapter 1.

I will say…I’m gonna give a lot more time on the front end of this message to all the overview because I think it’s vital for us to makes sense of this book…I promise it’s going to pay off!

Sound good?

Alight, let me pray and then we’ll get started.

PRAY

Background

Alright, let’s go ahead and get started.

Let me just run through some overview questions.

What is Song of Songs?

First of all, what is this Song of Songs?

Great question!

Look with me at v. 1.

Song of Solomon 1:1 ESV

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.

It’s a song - or poem is probably better.

And to say this is the Song of Songs is a Hebrew way of saying, this is the most important one...the one that sits above all the others!

This is where we get the name of the book - sometimes we call in Song of Solomon

At it’s most basic level, Song of Songs a collection of poetry.

And this is the first challenge.

Most of us don’t spend a lot of time reading poetry - we may try and quote it every now and then to make it sound like we’re the kind of people who do. But most of us are lying.

Poetry, at it’s core, is a way of writing that moves us from the concrete to the abstract. It gives us something to hold on to when we don’t really have other ways to say what we’re seeing or feeling!

And so it’s complicated. There’s a reason why most of us don’t read it! Because that move from concrete to abstract is hard…it forces us to slow down, think, reflect, imagine.

And it’s not black and white!

Poetry isn't a GPS map meant to give you directions; it’s a garden to play in!

Now - add to this that the Song of Songs is ancient poetry. I mean we have a hard enough time understanding Shakespeare —and he wrote in English (kind of)!

This poem is exponentially more removed! It’s not a couple hundred years old, it’s a couple thousand years old written in a language and culture that we don’t speak or live in!

That means we are gonna have to work hard at interpreting this poem. And, because it’s poetry, because it’s moving us from the concrete to the abstract, that means there a thousand legitimate things we could talk about from this poem.

What is the Poem About?

Now, if it’s a poem, the next question is: what’s the poem about?

Here’s where things get really interesting.

First, let's just be honest: of all the books of the Bible, this is the one that will make you blush. It doesn't sanitize human love. It is a bold, vivid, and highly specific celebration of the physical, sexual relationship between a husband and a wife. If you thought the Bible was just a book of rules about what not to do, the Song of Songs is going to shatter that paradigm.

And I think that’s a good thing!

In week 5 we’re gonna spend a lot more time exploring this, but Christianity has, for A LOT of reasons, developed a reputation as being anti - sexuality. And the short response is: No!

The bible actually teaches that for a husband and wife, sex is a good gift from God meant for more than just procreation, but enjoyment! That’s one of the very real take-aways from Song of Songs!

So on one hand, we have a book filled with the intimate details of human romance. Yet, on the other hand, there is a major thing missing.

God is not directly mentioned in the book!

Which seems like that should be a prerequisite for a book of the bible, right?

PAUSE

And because it doesn’t mention God, early on, there was a big question about what to do with it!

If you were travel back to the era when the Old Testament was being gathered, there was a lively debate about whether the Song of Songs belonged in Bible at all!

Some thought it was a common bar song...too erotic to be with the sacred writings.

But the debate was settled with the idea that this poem was doing what all great poetry does: taking the concrete—the flesh-and-blood relationship between a husband and wife—and letting it become a window through which we can glimpse something otherwise incomprehensible: God’s passionate love for His people!

Which, listen, I know how that sounds. Hang with me!

The Jewish Interpretation

The Jewish people began to talk about the Song of Songs as this beautiful and mysterious allegory.

And if it's been a while since you had English lit, an allegory is a story that has larger story hiding inside of it.

One Rabbi said it this way:

The Mishnah Yadayim

For the entire age is not so worthy as the day on which the Song of Songs was given to Israel. For all the scriptures are holy, but the Song of Songs is the most holy.

Think about that.

If all of the books of the bible are holy, this one is the Holy of Holies?

Why?

Even today, when Jewish families gather for the Passover celebration -remembering God rescuing them from slavery in Egypt, they end the night by reading the Song of Songs!

Why would they read a love poem?

PAUSE

Because they understood what we so often miss. They saw this poem wasn't just about the beauty of human romance. They recognized that the most profound, electric intimacy a husband and wife can experience...as good and enjoyable as it can be...doesn't exist for itself.

That passion is a shadow.

It is a glimpse of the fierce, fiery love God has for His people.

Early Christian Interpretation

In the same way, the earliest followers of Jesus latched on to this same idea.

They picked up on the fact that all through the Old Testament, the primary metaphor used to describe God’s relationship to his people was a husband and wife!

It absolutely made sense to them - and, building off the New Testament teaching about marriage, they only saw the mystery deepened!

That this is what Paul was talking about in Ephesians 5 when he describes about the ways a husband and wife are supposed to love, care for, and serve each other and he says:

Ephesians 5:32 ESV

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Through most of Christian history, the Song of Songs has been understood to be about God’s love for His people.

The Literal Interpretation

And yet, I’m willing to bet that if you’ve thought about this book at all before - that’s not the way you’ve taken it.

PAUSE

And I think there’s good reason for that!

PAUSE

Throughout history, there’s a pendulum swing in how to interpret Song of Songs. And we see a major swing around the 16th century. People were reacting against 2,500 years of focusing so much on the heavenly reality that they overlooked the concrete, physical marriage that the poem is actually describing!

This new movement pushed back and argued that for an allegory to make any sense at all, we have to pay attention to the earthly reality it’s using. Even if human marriage is a signpost pointing to God, we still have to know how to read the sign!

And I think that was a vital correction.

But like a pendulum always does, I think we have swung the other way.

Today, churches tend to be so focused on the physical reality of human intimacy in Song of Songs that we miss the heavenly reality it was meant to point us to in the first place.

So what do we do with this book?

I think this will help.

The Architect’s Model

Imagine for a moment an architect who has just designed a massive, multi-billion-dollar, futuristic city. It’s going to have skyscrapers, parks, fountains, walk-ways - it is stunning.

If that she wants to help investors or the public understand the vision, they don’t just hand them a stack of spreadsheets and math equations. The math is too abstract. It’s too big to wrap your head around.

Instead, she builds a scale model - an Architect’s model. They build a beautifully detailed, illuminated, miniature 3D model of the city and put it on a table right in the center of the room.

Here’s the thing: when you look at that scale model, you are looking at something real. It’s made of real wood, real plastic, and real wires. You can touch it. You can see how the streets connect.

More important, you get a perspective and vantage point that you would not otherwise have because the real thing is just so much bigger!

You can start to make sense of the real thing because you have this smaller architect’s model.

Now, here’s the thing.

The model doesn't exist for itself.

The entire purpose of that model is to give you a vantage point—to shape your imagination and point it toward a reality that is infinitely larger and more magnificent.

This is exactly how we need to understand human love and the Song of Songs.

God is the architect of a cosmic, eternal love story between Himself and His people.

But that concept is so massive, so divine, and so abstract that our finite imaginations cannot fully comprehend it. So, God built an architect’s model and put it right in the middle of the human experience.

And listen, I know that sounds bizarre—comparing human intimacy to a scale model.

But is it really that strange? Just look at our culture. Every movie we watch, almost every song on the radio, every novel we read is obsessed with love and romance! Human sexuality is one of the most powerful, driving forces of our lives.

Why?

I think part of the answer is because all of us walk around with this insatiable ache to be fully known and fully loved. We are homesick for a connection we can't quite seem to permanently find here.

What the Song of Songs does is take that universal human ache and reframe it.

It uses poetry to ask a breathtaking question: What if our obsession with romance isn't an accident? What if God designed human attraction, intimacy, and marriage to be a kind of vocabulary? What if He built it as a model to point our restless hearts to something far more real?

Because of this, everything we read in the Song of Solomon over the next eight weeks is going to operate on two levels simultaneously.

Level 1 is the Model: It teaches us incredibly practical, gritty truths about our horizontal relationships - and will have insight on romance - how to date, how to marry, and how to handle conflict. (That's the real wood and plastic).

Level 2 is the Reality: Every time the poem talks about the electric thrill of being loved by another human being, it is whispering, "If the scale model is this good... can you imagine what the real thing is like?"

And if it feels like we’re spending way too much time here - or that I’m just reading way to much into this book…I get it. I’m hopelessly verbose.

Courtney would never say it, but it’s exhausting when I get chatty!

But I want you to notice that this approach actually opens the door of this book to every single one of us.

If Song of Songs were only an instruction manual for human marriage, then it would alienate anyone who is single, widowed, divorced, or heartbroken. For many, reading this book would just be a painful reminder of what you don't have, or what you’ve lost.

But if human intimacy is a scale model, it changes everything.

It means that the ache you might feel for connection—that deep, unmet longing for a relationship—is not a mistake. It is actually a sacred hunger pointing you toward the God who desires you completely.

Because human love is the model, your horizontal relationships don't have to bear the crushing weight of being your ultimate fulfillment. God alone can bear that weight.

And so, whatever season of life you’re in today—single, dating, engaged, newlywed, decades in and delighted, disappointed, or disillusioned—Song of Songs is for you.

And all that…is my introduction [Joke].

PAUSE

The Small Model - Vulnerability

Okay for real though - let’s see how this model works in action.

Look with me at Song of Solomon 1:2-6

Song of Solomon 1:2–6 ESV

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; 3 your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. 4 Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you. 5 I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. 6 Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!

So - what’s going on here?

Well, first we meet a few of the main “characters” in the poem. There is the woman, the king - and a little less obvious, there’s a group of narrators.

Actually, if you’re looking at this in your bibles there’s usually some kind of heading that tells you who is talking.

But the main thing that you’re aware of reading this poem is that it is about desire, right? The woman desires this intimate relationship with the king.

Look at v. 2 again.

Song of Solomon 1:2 ESV

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;

That’s the obvious part.

Now jump down to v. 6.

And the woman, begins to open up a little bit - and this is where we start to explore the architect’s model.

Look at what she says in v. 6.

Song of Solomon 1:6 ESV

6 Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!

What does that mean?

She talks about how the sun has “looked” upon her - and how her time out in the fields has impacted her appearance. How, as a part of her story, she was mistreated by her "mother’s sons” who sent her out into the harsh fields to work.

In other words, a lot of her life has been out in manual labor - she’s saying, “I’m a peasant.”

Why does that matter?

Well, who’s she talking to?

The King, right?!

And just like everywhere else - ancient Israel had it’s own class distinctions!

Someone at the top doesn’t belong with someone at the bottom! The King doesn’t belong with someone like her!

Those are some Taylor Swift vibes!

Think about it this way: as this poem begins, she is immediately addressing her insecurity. What will eventually become a deeply intimate romance begins with the raw reality of their differences—and what she clearly sees as her own mess.

She’s being vulnerable.

And that is something worth thinking about.

Because it uncovers the gritty reality of how this architect’s model actually functions: The intimacy we crave requires the vulnerability we fear.

PAUSE

Now, let's be clear about something. Most of us are completely fine with the intimacy part of that equation. In fact, we crave it. Intimacy isn't just a physical activity, and it's certainly not limited to marriage. At its core, intimacy is a deep, meaningful bond and connectedness with another human being. It’s the feeling of being fully known and welcomed...and accepted. We all want that.

The piece we struggle with—the piece that makes us recoil—is the vulnerability side.

We’re terrified of that.

Why?

Vulnerability is risky, isn’t it?

Think about the air we breathe every single day.

You get the trophy if you win. You get the promotion if you perform. You get the 'likes' if the picture is perfect.

Without even realizing it, we absorb this idea that acceptance has to be earned. And somewhere along the way, we start to believe we are only as lovable as our achievements, our appearance, our humor, or our perfectly put-together lives.

And what happens when we live like that?

We turn love into a transaction. We negotiate for it based on what we bring to the table. And because it's a transaction, we are terrified that if someone actually sees our 'neglected vineyard'—the mess, the trauma, the exhaustion, the failures—they will look at us, decide we aren't worth the cost, and walk away.

So, what do we do? We hide. We manage our image. We put on a mask.

In her book Glittering Vices, Rebecca DeYoung captures this perfectly. She writes:

“The image we project is often a mask for the shameful or second-rate self we would prefer no one to see."

We fall into a trap of constantly performing in our relationships! We exhaust ourselves trying to keep the messy parts of our lives perfectly hidden.

Now, you might be thinking, “Dan, I don’t do that!”

Needing to be Right.

Isn't resisting vulnerability what I’m really doing with Courtney when I just keep an argument going? I'll dig my heels in, I refuse to apologize, and I'll drag a fight out for three days over something stupid. Why? Because to look at my wife and say, "You know what? I handled that poorly. I was wrong," requires me to expose my flaws. It is easier to protect my pride than it is to admit my vineyard is a mess.

Settling for Shallow

Isn't resisting vulnerability what we’re really doing when our friends or our spouses ask how we are, and we just gloss over what’s going on? “I'm fine.” “Work’s fine. “We’re good.”

And we say that for the third day, the third month, or the third year in a row because we just don't want to "get into it right now."

Why?

Because if we actually answered honestly—if we told them how overwhelmed, lonely, or anxious we really are—we'd have to take the mask off. It feels safer to just be "fine" than to risk being known.

Sweeping Things under the Rug.

Isn't resisting vulnerability what you’re really doing when there is clear tension or distance in your relationship, but you just let it slide? You sweep it under the rug instead of leaning in and having the hard conversation. You tell yourself, "It’s just not worth it." But the truth is, you avoid the conversation because you are terrified of the mess it might expose in you, or the rejection it might provoke in them.

And here’s the devastating tragedy of this performance trap: If we never risk being vulnerable, you will never really feel loved in our relationships.

Even if your spouse or your friends look at your polished mask and say, "I love you," a voice in the back of your head will always whisper, "Yeah, but you only love the version of me I'm showing you. If you knew what my vineyard actually looked like, you’d leave."

Without vulnerability, you and I are never truly known.

And if you are never truly known, as Rebecca DeYoung again says, “our deep human need for full and unconditional welcome remains unfulfilled.”

PAUSE

But look at the incredible courage of the woman in this poem.

She desires the King. But instead of faking perfection, she takes a massive risk. She brings her unpolished self into the light. She points to her scars and her exhaustion and says, "Dark am I, yet lovely." She is testing the model. She is risking rejection to see if true intimacy is actually possible. And what she finds—what the rest of this poem celebrates—is that she isn't loved for her perfect vineyard. She is loved for exactly who she is.

Transition

And friends, if that is how the architect’s model works, what might that tell us about the Full-Scale Reality?

The Full Scale Reality: Vulnerability in the Gospel

See, in so many ways, it tells us the story of the Gospel!

Over and over again in the scriptures, we are reminded that God is the one who see all of who we are!

Like v. 6 says, He sees our “neglected vineyard.” He knows every concealed defect, every stubborn tendency, and every piece we hope nobody ever discovers. He sees behind the mask we wear. He knows the real you…the real me completely - perfectly.

And what does He do?

The good news we find is that, in Jesus: He does not turn away. He does not reject you. He does not do the very things we are so afraid would happen to us in any other relationship we have if we were fully known!

No! The gospel is story of how good embraces our vulnerability by stepping towards us!

The Apostle Paul writes in Romans chapter 5 that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Not - after we got ourselves cleaned up a bit. Not - once we showed him we actually had at least a few things under control!

No!

While we were broken. When we were sick. While we were still in our sin: Christ died for us…He made us whole…he made us well.

Do you hear what that means in the context of this poem? While your vineyard was a disaster, while you were bringing nothing of value to the table, Jesus Christ gave His life to draw you in. He pursues you in your brokenness. He welcomes you in your guilt. The King invites you into His presence not because you finally got your act together, but because His love is just that profound.

This means that, actually, the safest place in the world is the place of vulnerability before God. The practice we are invited into today is to drop the act. To embrace total honesty with Him. You do not have to manage your image when you pray. You can come to Him and say, "My vineyard is a wreck right now. I am exhausted. I am failing." And you will find a God who meets you right there with grace.

And here is the beautiful secret: when you finally experience that kind of vertical security, it completely changes the math on your human relationships. Why? Because when the God of the universe has already seen your messy vineyard and declared you perfectly loved, you no longer have to hustle for human approval. You don't have to perform anymore. You can finally afford the risk of being vulnerable with the people around you.

If you are married, that is exactly where you need to bring this honesty. When Courtney and I experience conflict, the gospel provides the security I need to drop my defenses, remove the mask, and just admit my faults. Why? Because my ultimate worth is not tied to my performance as a husband; it is secured by Christ.

So, we can't just talk about this today; we have to test the model. Here is my challenge for you this week: I want you to pick one relationship. Your spouse, a close friend, or someone in your small group. And sometime this week, I want you to intentionally take off your mask. Stop saying you are 'fine.' Look them in the eye and tell them about your neglected vineyard. Tell them where you are exhausted, where you are anxious, or where you are failing.

Take the risk of vulnerability.

Stop hiding.

Because as we will see as this ancient poem unfolds over the coming weeks, when you risk vulnerability, it grows into the exact intimacy your soul is starving for.

Let's pray.