May 3, 2026

Sermon 2 — The Character

The Kind of People God Uses to Lead

Primary Text: 1 Timothy 3:1–13 Supporting Text: Titus 1:5–9 Big Idea: God qualifies leaders and servants by Spirit-formed character before public usefulness.

Sermon Aim

To help the church examine leadership through the biblical mirror of character, not personality, success, popularity, or gifting.

Introduction

Last week, we saw that aspiring to leadership and service can be noble.

But desire is not enough.

Paul says:

“If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be…”

That word must matters.

The church does not get to invent its own qualifications. The congregation does not get to say, “He is successful in business, so he should lead.” Or, “She is likable, so she should serve.” Or, “He is talented, so he must be qualified.”

God gives the qualifications.

And what is striking about the list is how ordinary many of them seem. Paul does not begin with charisma, platform, wealth, education, or influence.

He begins with character.

I. God Requires Self-Governed Character

1 Timothy 3:2–3; Titus 1:7–8

1 Timothy 3:2–3 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Titus 1:7–8 ESV

7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.

An overseer must be:

Sober-minded

Self-controlled

Respectable

Gentle

Not violent

Not quarrelsome

Not greedy

Not arrogant

Not quick-tempered

Before a man can help govern the church, he must be governed by the Spirit.

A man who cannot control his temper should not shepherd souls. A man mastered by money should not oversee ministry. A man who loves conflict should not lead Christ’s people. A man who cannot control himself is not ready to care for others.

These passages are also difficult to digest because of what it says in the this verse

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

This is a difficult passage because of experience today. And in fact, theology is always question an answer. It's always been us asking questions when we run into a new circumstance.

And so in this passage, which says one wife. It means you've been married once or not at all as in the case of Ryan, but at the very least it means you've only been married to one woman.

Now for any of us who have had any encounter with divorce, we know that divorce can happen for any number of reasons. Some of the most godly men I've ever met are men that have a divorce in their past. And the entire story of the Bible is all about God redeeming life, redeeming sins, redeeming past mistakes. So how can we interpret this? One passage to read that an overseer an elder can't be someone who has been divorced? First of all from a translation and and a context to the Bible standpoint, we can't get away from what the passage is saying. When it comes to leaders in God's church, the standards is high. The standard has got to be high because everywhere we look around as we see leaders, especially and even leaders in the church failing. So we've got to hold a high standard for this office of overseer this office of elder.

So so far as we understand this passage, it means someone who has been married once or not at all. 

Application

This is where many leadership failures begin.

Not with a public doctrinal scandal, but with private patterns:

Anger

Impulsiveness

Greed

Pride

Harshness

Lack of discipline

Secret indulgence

God cares about the unseen man before He entrusts him with visible responsibility.

II. God Requires Faithfulness at Home

1 Timothy 3:2, 4–5, 12; Titus 1:6

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

1 Timothy 3:4–5 ESV

4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?

1 Timothy 3:12 ESV

12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.

Titus 1:6 ESV

6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.

Paul says an elder must be the husband of one wife and must manage his household well.

This does not mean his family must be perfect. No family is perfect.

But it does mean his home should show evidence of faithful, loving, dignified spiritual leadership.

Paul’s logic is direct:

If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?

The home is not separate from ministry qualification. It is one of the first proving grounds.

Application

A man may impress people at church while neglecting people at home.

God is not impressed by public service that masks private failure.

Before a man shepherds the household of God, there should be evidence that he is seeking to shepherd his own household with humility, love, patience, and faithfulness.

III. God Requires a Good Reputation

1 Timothy 3:2, 7; Titus 1:6–8

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

1 Timothy 3:7 ESV

7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Titus 1:6–8 ESV

6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.

Paul says an overseer must be above reproach and well thought of by outsiders.

This does not mean unbelievers agree with his doctrine. It does not mean he avoids all criticism.

It means there should not be a credible pattern of dishonesty, hypocrisy, manipulation, scandal, or disgrace.

His life should commend the gospel, not contradict it.

Application

A leader’s reputation matters because the church’s witness matters.

If a man is known in the community as dishonest, harsh, greedy, unreliable, or two-faced, that affects more than his personal name. It affects the name of Christ and the witness of the church.

IV. God Requires Doctrinal Faithfulness

1 Timothy 3:2, 9; Titus 1:9

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

1 Timothy 3:9 ESV

9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.

Titus 1:9 ESV

9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

An elder must be able to teach.

Titus says he must:

“hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught”

so that he can instruct in sound doctrine and rebuke those who contradict it.

This does not mean every elder must preach like a conference speaker. But every elder must be able to handle Scripture faithfully.

He must know truth. He must love truth. He must teach truth. He must protect the flock from error.

Cornerstone Connection

This is why agreement with Cornerstone’s doctrinal statement matters. The leaders of the church must not be vague about truth. They must hold the line on Scripture, the gospel, Christ, salvation, holiness, and the mission of the church.

A shepherd who cannot feed the sheep or confront wolves is not yet ready to shepherd.

V. God Also Requires Faithful Servants

1 Timothy 3:8–13 ESV

8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Paul also gives qualifications for deacons, or formal servants in the church.

At Cornerstone, this connects closely with the office of Trustee.

Trustees are not merely “people who handle practical stuff.” Practical service in the church is spiritual service.

Paul says servants must be:

Dignified

Honest in speech

Not greedy

Not addicted to wine

Doctrinally sound

Tested first

Faithful in home life

And verse 11 shows the seriousness of women serving in this kind of formal ministry: dignified, not slanderers, sober-minded, faithful in all things.

This fits Cornerstone’s structure, where qualified men and women may serve as Trustees.

Application

Trustee ministry is not second-class ministry.

The people who help care for finances, property, fellowship, education, missionary support, and practical needs are doing real spiritual work.

The church should not lower the bar for practical service. Practical service often reveals spiritual maturity.

Physical Object Lesson: A Level

Bring a carpenter’s level.

Hold it up and say:

This tool does not create straightness. It reveals whether something is straight.

Then connect it:

1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 are like a spiritual level. They reveal whether a person’s life is aligned with the character God requires.

The qualification list does not save us. It does not make us righteous before God. Only Christ does that.

But it does reveal whether someone is ready to be trusted with leadership and service in the church.

You could also place the level on a crooked board or tilted surface and say:

A little crookedness at the foundation becomes a major problem when weight is placed on it.

Leadership adds weight. That is why character matters before office.

Closing Challenge

Ask the congregation:

Where does this list expose an area where I need to grow?

Am I more impressed by gifting than godliness?

If I aspire to lead or serve, am I willing to be tested by Scripture?

Am I pursuing the kind of character that makes me useful to Christ’s church?

Gospel Close: Every qualification is perfectly fulfilled in Jesus. He is the true Shepherd: sober-minded, gentle, faithful, holy, hospitable, truthful, and pure. He is not only our example. He is our Savior and supply.

The goal is not self-made leadership. The goal is Spirit-formed maturity in Christ.

Closing Community Prayer

Matthew 6:9–13 ESV

9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.