The Posture of Wives
Notes
Transcript
The Consequences of the Fall
The Consequences of the Fall
I really like chocolate cake.
As I have admitted before, it’s presence in my kitchen is a huge test of my self-control.
A test I often fail to pass.
I enjoy apples, strawberries, grapes, and the like, but not in the same way I enjoy chocolate cake.
But we all know chocolate cake is not a healthy food to eat on a regular basis.
Actually, we could go the rest of our lives without chocolate cake and our bodies would be fine.
Now we would not be happy people, but we would be physically healthy.
I blame the Fall and the curse of sin either for the taste of chocolate cake or the effects it has on my body.
Before the fall, we either didn’t care about chocolate cake or it just wasn’t all that good.
That is a funny example, but the reality is that we live in fallen world.
The story we read in Genesis 3 is a story of God’s good creation coming under the curse of rebellion from those that He created.
We see it in our bodies as they hurt, get sick, and weaken over time.
We see it in the world around us as we deal with natural disasters and things in nature seemingly against us.
We see it in society as injustice, evil, and corruption are everywhere.
And we see it in relationships, conflict, selfishness, abuse, and the like.
1 Now the serpent was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You can’t eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden. 3 But about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, God said, ‘You must not eat it or touch it, or you will die.’ ”
4 “No! You will certainly not die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “In fact, God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 The woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it; she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
10 And he said, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” 11 Then he asked, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” 12 The man replied, “The woman you gave to be with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.” 13 So the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
14 So the Lord God said to the serpent: Because you have done this, you are cursed more than any livestock and more than any wild animal. You will move on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life. 15 I will put hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.
16 He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children with painful effort. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you. 17 And he said to the man, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘Do not eat from it’: The ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”
It is funny to think about how the fall affected our relationship to chocolate cake, but it is less humorous to think about how it affects us and our families.
We have seen in Ephesians 5 and in Genesis 2 that God designed two genders, male and female.
That He created them in His image, equal in value, equal in dignity, and equal in worth.
And yet, He created them distinct, both in their biology and in their role within the context of marriage and family.
From the beginning, God create men to lovingly and sacrificially lead their wives and families just like Jesus leads the Church.
And from the beginning, God create women to lovingly, sacrificially, and submissively help their husbands lead.
I know that sounds like women get the raw end of the deal.
It sounds like women are second rate, inferior, and insignificant.
But that is a drastic misunderstanding of God’s design.
And that understanding comes directly out of the consequences of the fall we just read in Genesis 3.
Notice God’s words to Eve in verse 16
16 He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children with painful effort. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.
there are 2 explicit consequences here:
The first is “increased pain in labor”.
Now we don’t know how painful labor was before the fall, but many of you in this room know how intense it is now.
We can draw the conclusion then, that labor wasn’t a result of the fall, but was a much more enjoyable experience before it.
The implication of this reach beyond just labor though.
“Bearing children with painful effort” seems to point to the challenge of raising children in a broken word.
Motherhood is hard. It is hard when we are caring for babies. It is hard when we are chasing toddlers. It is hard when we are dealing with the attitudes and emotions of school age kids and teenagers. It is hard when we help them navigate puberty, friendship issues, and ultimately when we have to send them off to college or carriers. And it is hard when we have to help them from afar navigate adult life and all that comes with that.
Motherhood is hard because getting pregnant is often a hard and painful journey.
It is hard because our kids get sick and we don’t have control over their bodies and have to trust God with them.
It is hard because your worth and success are measured, by others and yourself, based on how well your kids are doing.
So, there is more to those words in 3:16 that a painful labor.
1) Difficulty in MOTHERHOOD
1) Difficulty in MOTHERHOOD
The second consequence is in relationship to husbands.
“Your desire” might sound like something positive at first, but it becomes clearer in Genesis 4 what Moses means with that word.
7 If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”
It is used here to express sin’s “desire” to rule over Cain. So it isn’t a good thing, but a negative thing.
It is used in the same way in Genesis 3.
Eve’s “desire” is not just “for her husband” but for the place and position of her husband.
God is saying “Eve, you are going to want to overthrow your husband’s God-appointed leadership.”
You are going to want to lead and are going to push against God’s design for you and for your husband.
And yet “he will rule over you” likely meaning both that husbands will continue to have responsibility to lead, but that they will have the temptation to lead in a domineering, demeaning, and, even, abusive way.
That isn’t an affirmation in that, but a warning.
And it was a correct warning too, because for thousands of years now, women have been dominated, abused, diminished, and treated like possessions.
The response to this, and we see it so clearly in our modern culture, is dismantle gender altogether.
To blame male headship as problem and, either reimagine what the Bible says or throw it away altogether.
And that is what God says women are going to “desire” to do.
2) Disorder in MARRIAGE
2) Disorder in MARRIAGE
What am I saying then?
I am saying: What Ephesians 5:22-33 calls wives to isn’t a result of the fall, it is reversal of it.
Paul’s desire for men and women to recapture God’s beautiful design of the relationship between husbands and wives before sin corrupted it.
So the call for women to “submit to you husbands” isn’t a consequence to the fall, but a recovery of God’s created order that was broken by sin.
And the picture that he creates in these verses isn’t one of subjugation or devaluing.
It is a picture of order, harmony, and self-sacrificial complementarianism.
Husbands lovingly and sacrificially leading their wives by taking responsibility to provide, protect, and nurture them and their families for good.
And wives sacrificially, submissively, and respectfully serving their husbands by helping them be all that God created and called them to be.
God's design for marriage isn't to diminish a woman's voice or identity, but to magnify who they were created to be as they seek to strengthen what their husbands were created to be.
Paul gives 2 related commands to wives in the passage (remember, only 1 command is given to husbands...to love).
The first is, of course, to “submit” to their husbands.
And the second is to “respect” their husbands.
In the King James, the word is “reverence” her husband. In the American Standard version from 1901, it is translated “fear”.
Paul is not saying wives should be afraid of their husbands.
The word respect is the heart posture (or attitude) of submission.
So, wives are to submit to their husbands out of respect for the role and position God has called them to.
Now how does this look lived out?
Submission in Real-Life
Submission in Real-Life
1) Submitting to your husband because GOD is TRUSTWORTHY.
1) Submitting to your husband because GOD is TRUSTWORTHY.
Remember verse 21?
Submission doesn’t start in marriage, it starts in surrendering to Christ as our savior and Lord.
“Biblical submission is primarily about my respecting, reverencing, honoring, and trusting God in His sovereignty, and it is about my willingness to live in obedience and submission to Him.” — The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy
You are not acknowledging your husbands trustworthiness, but God’s trustworthiness.
Biblical submission has nothing to do with value or capacity to make decisions.
It doesn’t mean you are leaving your brain or will at the altar.
Biblical submission is God’s design.
Husbands are not more qualified to lead, they were given the responsibility by God.
Our roles have the intended purpose of Glorifying God as we live out who we were created to be in honor of God’s design.
“A wife’s biblical submission to her husband and her respect for him are things that she does voluntarily out of obedience and submission to God, because she wants to honor Christ as Lord.” — The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy
2) Submitting to your husbands by HELPING him LEAD.
2) Submitting to your husbands by HELPING him LEAD.
Submission is not about husbands having all the right answers.
It doesn’t mean wives don’t get a voice in decisions and aren’t permitted to give counsel and wisdom to their husbands.
In Genesis 2:18 God told Adam he was in need of help, someone to navigate this world with him.
Adam was given the responsibility to shoulder the burden, but he needed help.
God has called husbands to provide, protect, and lead, but husbands cannot effectively be who God created them to be without the help of their wives.
Husbands need thoughtful, humble prayers for their leadership. (Do you pray for you husband?)
Husbands need wise, humble counsel and expertise in their leadership. (Do you offer help or fight for your way, or undermine their leadership?)
Your words can be used as tools for the good of your husband or as weapons to hurt him.
9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
Quite the verse to read on Mothers Day haha!
Your husbands needs your gifts and talents in his leadership. (How can you use your gifts to HELP your husband, not handicap him.)
Are you good with finances, a better planner, more social or hospitable…?
Use your strengths to build your husband up not tear him down.
3) Submitting to your husband for your FREEDOM and his GROWTH.
3) Submitting to your husband for your FREEDOM and his GROWTH.
Paul’s intention (actually God’s intention through Paul) is to set us free to be who God has created us to be.
He has created these role relationship for our good and for His glory (two things that are vitally connected).
You will not find freedom and security in your marriage if you are in a constant battle for control.
Freedom in found when you embrace your calling as a woman, created in God’s image for His glory.
Not only that, but Peter says in 1 Peter 3 that your obedience has the power to transform your husband.
1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.
The whole point of the passage is to tell a wife whose husband is not a believer how she can help lead her husband to the Lord.
So you might be thinking “what if my husband isn’t a believer and so doesn’t lead me spiritually?”
Peter’s answer, and Paul’s answer indirectly (and thus God’s answer) is submission.
That doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your husband says or does.
It doesn’t means following him into sin.
It doesn’t mean she is dependent on her husband for strength and growth in faith.
The text, in fact, assumes just the opposite. She is summoned to develop depth and strength and character not from her husband but for her husband. Verse 5 says that her hope is in God and in the power of God that one day her husband will join her in the faith. — John Piper
That isn’t an easy road, but I know stories in this room of women who have faithfully loved, served, and prayed for their husbands and the Lord used them to lead them to faith.
By trusting God with your husband instead of trying to control him, you are putting your hope in the One who can change him—from the inside out.
Your faith and obedience to Christ is a living invitation to your husband to see the beauty of Christ in you, even when he doesn’t yet know Christ for himself.
And if he does know Christ, but isn’t leading well, your encouragement, your faithful prayers, your willingness to serve him, your gentle spirit, and your humble example are far more powerful than demanding or taking control.
Submission isn’t bondage, it is releasing the responsibility to change your husband to the Holy Spirit who actually has the power to change Him.
And He will use your witness, your posture, and your faithfulness in the process (no promises, but do not lose hope).\
The Fall didn’t create the call for wives to submit; the Fall distorted it.
God’s design has always been for wives to lovingly, willingly, and respectfully help their husbands lead—just as the church lovingly follows Christ. [Ephesians 5:22–24; 1 Peter 3:1–2]
To the wives here:
Your submission is not a sign you’re less valuable. It’s a sign you trust the God who is trustworthy.
It’s not about losing your voice; it’s about using your voice, your gifts, and your wisdom to strengthen your husband’s leadership, not to fight it.
And it’s not about perfection; it’s about your posture toward God. When you submit to your husband out of reverence for Christ, you’re living out the reversal of the Fall in your marriage.
If you’re married, ask yourself:
Am I helping or hindering my husband’s leadership?
Am I using my gifts to build him up, or to protect my control?
Am I more concerned with my comfort or with God’s glory in our home?
And if you’re not married, ask yourself:
Am I preparing my heart now to be a woman who can joyfully follow godly leadership, because I trust God more than I trust my own plans?
Friends, the Fall left brokenness in our relationships, our bodies, and our families.
But the good news is that Jesus has come to redeem the design, not destroy it.
So let’s not run from God’s call to wives; let’s run to the cross, and let the Spirit reshape our hearts so that our marriages look less like the curse and more like the kingdom.
