Welcoming the Broken

Seeing People the Way Jesus Sees

As I’ve been reflecting on last Friday, it left me asking a few questions:

Have you ever been judged before someone actually knew you? Have you ever said something defensive because you were hurt? Have you ever reacted too strongly because someone hurt your friend?

Last week showed us something important—not just about one person, but about all of us.

We learned how easy it is to react instead of understand.

Here is a reality we need to consider:

hurt changes how people speak.

That became very clear in our own youth group. Last week, one of the girls made a comment that upset some people. What she said was wrong and hurtful. Later she explained that in her past, girls had betrayed her and hurt her deeply. So what came out of her mouth… was really coming out of pain. Now that does not make hurtful words okay; but it does help us understand where they came from.

Proverbs 15:1 reminds us:

Proverbs 15:1 ESV

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

So we have to ask ourselves:

What happened when anger answered anger? Did yelling solve anything? Did it help anyone feel understood? Or did it just deepen the hurt?

One of the things I love about Jesus is that He never just reacted to behaviour. He always looked deeper. Behind anger, He saw pain. Behind defensiveness, insecurity. Behind sin, He saw brokenness. Instead of humiliating people… Jesus met them with truth and grace at the same time.

The Woman at the Well

Let’s read a story from The Gospel of John 4.

[Scripture reading]

Here we see that Jesus meets a woman everyone else avoided. Jesus, being Jesus knew her sin, her past, and her brokenness. Jesus knew why she was likely coming to the well alone at the hottest part of the day—avoiding everyone else. Most people think she came at noon because she was trying to avoid shame, whispers, and judgment. Instead of rejecting her… Jesus speaks to her. He speaks to her with dignity.

He listens. He engages. He tells her the truth.

Most notably, He does not humiliate her. I want you to think about this:

What made Jesus different from everyone else? Why do broken people seem to be drawn to Him? Why do people open up to Him?

I think these questions can be answered because Jesus saw the person before He judged the behaviour. That does not mean He ignored sin. It does not mean He approved of sin. It does mean He saw deeper than the surface.

Where others saw “the sinful woman”… Jesus saw a human being made in the image of God.

This is what’s amazing, that same woman ends up becoming one of the first people to go and tell others about Jesus. The person everyone avoided… becomes someone God uses. That should challenge us.

Sometimes the people we are the quickest to push away… are the very people God wants to reach.

The Woman Caught in Adultery

Now let’s read The Gospel of John John 8:1–11.

[Scripture reading]

In this story we find that a woman is dragged into the middle of a crowd. She has been caught in sin, and now she is being publicly shamed. The Pharisees want punishment. They want humiliation. They want condemnation. But Jesus wants restoration. He says:

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone.”

And one by one… they all leave.

Suddenly, it is no longer just about her sin. It is about theirs too. Sometimes I think we are more like that crowd than we want to admit. Sometimes it feels easier to focus on someone else’s mistakes than our own. Jesus refuses to let broken people be destroyed by self-righteous crowds.

After all had left Jesus turns to the woman and says:

“Where are your accusers?”

She says they are gone.

Then Jesus says:

“Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.”

Notice this: Jesus does not ignore sin. Most importantly He also does not weaponize shame. Jesus gives grace… and He calls her forward into something better. That is the balance of Jesus: truth and grace together.

Abba Moses

There is a book I love called The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen, in that book there is a story about Abba Moses. He is called to judge someone else’s sin. Instead of coming to the meeting, he walks in carrying a leaking jug full of water.

And he says:

“My sins run out behind me, and I do not see them… and today I am coming to judge the error of another.”

What he is saying is simple: Before I judge someone else… I need to remember myself.

That raises a hard question: Why is it so much easier to see other people’s mistakes than our own?

Maybe it is pride. Maybe it is distraction. Maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves for a moment. Here Abba Moses understood something important: Humility changes how you treat people. When you remember how much grace you have needed… it becomes a lot harder to withhold grace from someone else.

Abba Achilles

There is another story in the same book. Abba Achilles is asked to make fishing nets. He refuses two respected men… but agrees immediately for a man known for his failures. When asked why, he says:

“If I had refused him, he would have believed his sin had separated him from love.”

That line honestly scares me sometimes. Because I have to trust how you as a youth group will treat people. Especially people who are hurting.

People who are awkward. People who are angry. People who are defensive. People who don’t fit in right away.

Sometimes I have to trust this youth group with people who already believe something about themselves:

“I’m unwanted.” “I don’t belong.” “I’m too broken.” “No one will accept me.”

How we respond can either reinforce that… or challenge it. We can either push people further away from Christ… or help them see Him more clearly.

That does not mean we ignore sin. It means we choose how we respond:

With patience instead of humiliation. With understanding instead of assumption. With conversation instead of condemnation.

Whether we like it or not every interaction is teaching someone what we think Jesus is like.

The Unforgiving Servant

Now let’s read The Gospel of Matthew Matthew 18:21–35.

[Scripture reading]

This story is simple. A servant is forgiven an impossible debt… but refuses to forgive someone else a small one. Jesus is showing us something clear:

People who receive mercy… are meant to give mercy. Every single one of us has needed grace before.

We have all:

said stupid things

hurt people

been misunderstood

misunderstood others

acted selfishly

made mistakes we regret

And yet sometimes we want grace for ourselves… but not for others. Jesus warns against that.

A reality we must face is that a youth group cannot survive expecting to receive the grace of Jesus Christ while not willing to give it.

Eventually people stop feeling safe. Cliques form. Bitterness grows. And people stop opening up.

Here is what makes Christian community different… we are different not because we never hurt each other. A true Christian community is different because of how we learn to respond when we are hurt. A Christian community responds with:

With humility. With forgiveness. With grace.

Here is a reality, when you realise how much you have been forgiven… it changes how you treat others.

The Question “Why?”

Years ago, a man attacked me in a parking lot. I could have fought back. I knew how. But in the middle of it, one question kept coming to my mind. Why?

Why is he so angry? Why is this happening? What is going on behind this?

Instead of escalating the situation, we ended up talking. In talking to him, I found out he had just gone through heartbreak. Now that did not excuse what he did.

But asking “why” changed everything. It turned the moment from confrontation… into understanding. I believe that is what Jesus does in us.

Before Jesus, we react: We react with anger. We react with pride. We react with embarrassment. We react with emotion.

But Jesus transforms us into people who slow down… and ask why.

Because behind anger is often hurt. Behind bitterness is often pain. Behind defensiveness is often insecurity. Understanding that does not excuse sin… but it does change how we respond.

Main Message

At this youth group, people should be able to walk in with messy backgrounds, awkward personalities, pain, anger, doubts, and baggage… and still know they are welcome.

Not because we ignore problems… but because we carry grace.

Every single one of us walks in here carrying something. But this place is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be a place where grace exists.

Jesus never ignored sin. But He never stopped loving broken people either.

He spoke truth… but He never crushed people with it.

If we are going to follow Him…we have to learn to do the same. If we are going to expect His Grace… we need to be willing to extend His grace to those who are even difficult to love.

Final Challenge

I’ve heard many of you say this youth group feels welcoming.

This needs to be heard, being welcoming is not proven when things are easy. Being welcoming is proven when difficult people walk through the door.

People who don’t fit right away. People who say things wrong. People who carry pain that comes out as anger.

That is when we find out who we really are.

Jesus didn’t just welcome people who had it all together. He welcomed us when we were broken, sinful, angry, selfish, and lost. If we want to be like Him… we have to do the same for others.

So here is the question: When someone walks in next week…Will we rush to judge?

Or will we slow down long enough to see them the way Jesus sees them?

A welcoming youth group is not one that says “everyone is welcome.” It is a group of people who actually live like it is true.

Closing Prayer

Jesus, teach us to see people the way You see them. Give us grace without losing truth. Give us wisdom without losing compassion. And make this youth group a place where broken people can belong, heal, and meet You.

Amen.