Forgiveness Pt1
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Forgiven People Forgive People
Introduction
Recently we climbed up the Cheviot as a family - when near the top we sat down looking in our bags for food and one of my daughters pulled out a good sized rock from her bag. She had picked it up during a different walk weeks back but hadn’t properly emptied her bag. She had forgotten it was there and had been carrying the additional weight of this rock the whole journey. Even upon finding the rock, she chose to repack it as didn’t want to let go of it. Unfortunately, this is what it can be like with unforgiveness.
There are few things heavier than carrying unforgiveness.
People carry wounds for years: betrayal, rejection, injustice, abuse, church hurt, broken trust.
Unfortunately, like a splinter which isn’t removed, these wounds hurt, cause sensitivity, and due to this over time, we build internal self-protection “shields” to survive.
But shields don’t just block pain — they also block healing.
Rob Reimer writes:
“Held anger acts like a shield, blocking not just the offender but God’s healing too.” Rob Reimer
John Bevere writes:
“Do not be afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness. The longer you hide it, the stronger it will become and the harder your heart will grow. Stay tenderhearted.”
Jesus shows us that forgiveness is not optional for followers of Christ — it is essential for freedom.
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
SO why don’t we leave the stone behind, why don’t we forgive?
The main reason we don’t forgive is because we do not realize how much we have been forgiven.
Let’s turn to a story Jesus tells in the Bible the story of the unmerciful servant – Matthew 18:21–35
Peter asks:
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Sounds generous -
Jesus replies:
“Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Then He tells a story.
A servant owes ten thousand talents. 1 talent = 6000 denarii. A single denarius was the standard wage for one full day of manual labour. So 60 million days (roughly 164,000 years) of continuous daily labour.
A lifetime debt. A debt he could never repay.
The servant begs: “Be patient with me.”
And the king does something shocking.
He cancels the entire debt. Completely.
No repayment plan.
No conditions.
Just mercy.
But that same servant then finds someone who owes him 100 denarii - 100 days labour, 3 months salary, still a good amount.
But a much smaller amount than what has just been cancelled, an amount which is repayable.
And he grabs him and says: “Pay me what you owe me!”
The second servant begs with the same words: “Be patient with me.”
But he refuses and throws him into prison.
When the master hears, he is furious. He hands the servant over to the prison jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed.
And Jesus ends with a warning:
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
This servant’s tragedy is not just unforgiveness. It’s forgetfulness.
He receives extraordinary mercy — but never becomes changed by it.
He never celebrates grace.
Never pauses in gratitude.
Never lives amazed at what he has received.
The unmerciful servant didn’t just fail to forgive — he failed to celebrate forgiveness.
And that’s the warning: when we forget how much grace we’ve received, we become harsh toward others.
And that is the danger for us.
We can become more aware of what others did to us, than what Jesus has done for us.
We rehearse pain instead of rehearsing grace.
And Rob Reimer says:
“The only reason we don’t forgive is because we do not realize how much we have been forgiven.” Rob Reimer
If we rehearse hurt instead of celebrating grace, our hearts harden.
And Jesus says the unforgiving servant is handed over to torment.
Bitterness always becomes internal imprisonment.
THREE REASONS WE MUST FORGIVE
1. Because WE Have Been Forgiven
The cross destroys self-righteousness.
One of the dangers in life is that we minimise our own sin while magnifying the sins of others.
But our sin was never small.
Romans 6:23 says:
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Every small lie,
every act of pride,
every moment of anger,
every rebellion against God’s truth,
brought separation from God and rejection of relationship with Him.
Often we compare sin based on what others have done to us but all Sin produces death. Each sarcastic word, every throw away comment, could become a curse and destroy a person.
Not only sins of commission, where we do stuff wrong, but also sins of omission, where God has asked us to demonstrate His love, His grace, His providence, His nature to someone, and we choose not to. Lives not transformed by God’s grace because His arms and feet, His body on earth, the people of God not revealing it.
And the cost of restoring us was enormous.
Every one of our sins helped hammer the nails into Jesus’ hands and feet as He willingly suffered and died in our place.
That is the seriousness of sin — and the greatness of His love.
Jesus chose the cross so relationship with Father God could be restored.
Colossians 2:13–14 says:
13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.
Forgiveness is free to us, but it cost Jesus everything.
And until we understand the depth of Jesus’ suffering for us, we will never fully understand the depth of His love for us.
If grace becomes cheap, we take forgiveness for granted.
But when we truly see the cross, gratitude softens the heart.
Jesus says in Luke 7:47:
47 …But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Those who recognise they have been forgiven much:
love much,
worship deeply,
and forgive freely.
2. Because Bitterness Gives the Enemy Access
Ephesians 4:26–27 warns:
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
The Greek word for foothold is topos — territory, ground, space.
When we are angered and this becomes unforgiveness, it creates spiritual “ground” in our lives.
Rob Reimer writes:
“We are spiritual beings in a spiritual world; we are always giving away spiritual access. We don’t get to choose if we give away access; we only get to choose to whom we give away access.” Rob Reimer
That is powerful.
When we cling to bitterness, we think we are punishing the other person — but actually we are poisoning ourselves.
Unforgiveness is like putting someone in prison — and then discovering you are the one locked inside.
The enemy loves unresolved anger because it becomes fertile soil for:
accusation,
torment,
suspicion,
cynicism,
emotional bondage.
And notice in Matthew 18, the unforgiving servant is handed over to the torturers.
That’s what bitterness does. It tortures the soul.
Some people are still emotionally chained to something that happened 20 years ago.
Not because the wound wasn’t real — but because unforgiveness became a prison.
"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness." Corrie Ten Boom
3. Because Bitterness Is Corrosive
Hebrews 12:15 warns of a “root of bitterness.”
15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Roots spread.
Bitterness never stays contained.
It leaks:
into marriages,
parenting,
friendships,
churches,
attitudes,
conversations.
You can often tell when someone has become bitter — because pain starts becoming their identity.
Everything becomes cynical. Negative. Defensive.
Watchman Nee said:
"If any unforgivingness exists among God's children, all lessons, faith, and power will leak away." Watchman Nee
Bitterness drains spiritual life. But forgiveness restores freedom.
Martin Luther King Jr. said:
"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." Martin Luther King Jr
HOW DO WE FORGIVE? Rather than focussing in on methods - which we going into through the Soul Care Course, I want to go into the heart and motivation.
The power to forgive does not come from minimising the wound — but from magnifying grace.
Today I believe Jesus wants us to rather than focus on the wound, to instead focus on His cross.
On God’s grace, His love and forgiveness for you.
Do you know the depth of your own sin? Have you owned it enough to recognise the depth of Jesus pain and love in dying in your place?
When we truly see the cross again —
the suffering,
the mercy,
the nails,
the love,
the price Jesus paid to bring us back to the Father — our hearts can begin to soften.
Forgiven people forgive people.
The ability to forgive begins by remembering grace.
The unmerciful servant never paused to celebrate mercy.
Have you chosen to celebrate God’s mercy?
