Widowhood and Remarriage
Practical Church (1 Corinthians) • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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· 1 viewPaul’s advice on widowhood and remarriage
Notes
Transcript
Announcements
Good morning. Welcome to Southern Hills Baptist Church. Thank you for joining us today.
If you are a first-time guest with us, you will find a Connection Card in the pew rack in front of you. We would appreciate it if you would fill that out and place it in the offering plate. That gives us a record of your visit and allows us the opportunity of reaching out to you this week to answer any questions that you might have.
Online giving is available at our website, southernhillsbc.com. By clicking on GIVE, it will take you to our giving page where you can easily give by electronic check or credit card. You can also give during our offertory time or in the box at the info table. If you are a guest, please know that we do not expect you to give. Our members and regular attenders provide for the ministry of the church.
See bulletin for Calendar Updates
Clint Pressley (President SBC) video- Special Prayer for our country
If you are a guest with us, know that this is our weekly Family Worship service. Our children will remain with us for the entire service. We do have a nursery available for children under 4 just down the hall if you would like to use it.
Please stand as I read our Call to Worship.
Call To Worship
My heart is steadfast, O God!
I will sing and make melody with all my being!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!
I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to you among the nations.
For your steadfast love is great above the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!
Opening Hymn
Scripture & Prayer: Matt Widman- 1 John 5:1-12
Song #1
Missions Minute: MISSION PARTNER
Today, our Missions Minute is set aside to recognize our graduates.
Genna Widman- Wayne State
Madelynn Bohnet- Southeast Community College
Keira Southwick- Western Iowa Tech
Also, our kids will be moving up in classrooms on June 15. We have 4 this year moving from 5th grade to Junior High. We just want to recognize them as well:
Dean Festervand
Aubrie Hood
Zaiden Smith
Darin Southwick
Pray for graduates and offering
Offering & Prayer
Song #2 (Great I Am)
Lord’s Supper- Pastor Atreju
Please be seated.
(beat)
Connect Song #2 to Scripture Reading
We’re going to continue our reading about Jesus from the book of John. Today we will continue in chapter 6:
When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”
After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the twelve, was going to betray him.
At this time, I am going to have our ushers come forward. If you are a follower of Jesus, in that you have accepted Him as Savior, bowed to Him as King, and been baptized in obedience to His commandment, we invite you to participate with us. In just a moment, we will pass the plates. Please take a piece of bread and a cup and hold it until we take together.
Pass
Instruction from Jesus: Read Luke 22:14-20
And when the hour came, he reclined at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, “Take this, and divide it among yourselves. For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.
Prayer of Blessing on bread and cup
Song #3
Introduction
Please be seated.
I was in Denver the first half of this week. Recently, I was invited to come out there for a conference put on by the Calvary Family of Churches. This is an annual conference specifically for the pastor-elders and leaders of their church network, but I was invited to come as their guest.
Knowing their history, which I will share with you in a minute—I was worried that what they have done in Denver was something beyond what I could ever dream for Southern Hills. So, needless to say, I was encouraged when I arrived at their flagship church in Englewood and found a normative size building, worn from time and weather, and a group of 200 people who welcomed me with smiles and hugs and who wanted to know all about me and what is going on here in Iowa.
Thus began the conference, where Pastors taught and encouraged one another about how to raise up leaders and build a culture of disciple-making.
But the Calvary Family of Churches weren’t always a big church network.
It started in 2009 with a single dying church. They were much like we were a few years ago. Small and struggling, tired of not being able to reach the community with the gospel, and desperate for change.
Calvary in Englewood called Mark Hallock to a revitalization
In 2013 they planted their first church (4 years later)
[MAP SLIDE]
Since then, the Calvary Family of Churches have planted, adopted, or replanted 22 other churches in the Greater Denver area
Now expanded to 8 other states and 2 other countries to help dying churches
I get asked all of the time: why would you leave Southern California to come to Iowa? People don’t seem to get it. The easy answer is that God brought me here. But the deeper answer is because—just like Denver in 2009–there is a desperate need in NW Iowa to reach the lost and the hurting. We live in a community full of apathy and confusion, full of unfaithful churches and people with church hurt, and full of people who need to hear clearly about Jesus for the first time.
And for whatever reason, God has brought me here to help in this effort. This is why I believe God brought me here to Southern Hills—to do what Calvary has done in Denver—to save dying churches and to plant new churches all over the place—so that we can be a light to our neighbors and beyond. And so, I want to invite you this morning to pray with me:
Pray that God would use our church to bring revival and restoration to our community.
Pray that God would raise up Pastors and leaders from within our church for us to send out to plant new churches and heal dying churches all over Siouxland.
And pray that God would reveal His will to you and that He would shape your heart to be willing to surrender to that will should He call you to go.
Let us take a few minutes to pray this morning. You can pray alone or in groups if you like. But let’s take 3 minutes to pray and then I will close.
Pastoral Prayer
City- Morningside, Southern Hills neighborhood
SHBC- Use our church
Opening the Word
[PREVIEW SLIDE]
I want to start, this morning, by thanking you for bearing with me over the last several weeks as we have been digging in to Paul’s instructions on singleness. As we read through our bibles, we will come across practical advice that does not always seem to pertain to us. But I want to encourage you to drink deeply from these portions of scripture also, because they hold wisdom for the church.
Notice that Paul hasn’t written a separate letter to the single people in the church. He instructs the whole church about how to approach and give wisdom to those who come into the church as single people.
How can we give them biblical advice about their station in life unless we have gained such wisdom from the Word of God?
Even those of us who don’t find ourselves single often have single children or grandchildren.
And unfortunately—in keeping with our topic today—half of us married folk will one day find ourselves widowed.
[TITLE SLIDE]
And so we close Paul’s advice to those who find themselves in situations of singleness today by specifically addressing widowhood and remarriage today.
If you have your bibles with you this morning, please turn with me to 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
While you do that, I want to kick off our time together this morning by telling you the stories of two widows in the bible. Both women unexpectedly found themselves to be widows early in life, but each of them reacted to that situation differently.
Most of you should be fairly familiar with Ruth after we spent much of last year in that book. In her story, we find that the Moabitess Ruth was married and childless for several years when her husband died. Her mother-in-law Naomi begged her to go back to her parents home, where she would be taken care of and where—still being young—she may have a chance at being remarried.
But Ruth refused the request. She was more concerned with caring for her mother-in-law than she was about her own well-being. She endured pain and shame with Naomi as they returned to Bethlehem alone. But because of her faithfulness and loving loyalty, God blessed her with a husband and a child—giving redemption to the two women and ensuring that His own story would move forward.
After all, Ruth would become the great-grandmother of King David, and thus—an ancestor of Jesus.
(beat)
The second story is that of a Israelite woman named Anna. Her story is found in Luke chapter 2. She was betrothed and married young, but only spent 7 years with her husband before she too became a widow. Then, Luke tells us that she spent 84 years as a single widow.
Unlike Ruth, Anna’s days were spent at the temple, where she would stay most hours of the day, worshipping and praying and fasting before Yahweh God. She did this every day for 80% of her life.
So, here is the question this morning: which life was wasted?
Was it Ruth, the woman who taught loving loyalty to generations and gave birth to King David’s grandfather? Or, was it Anna, who spent most of her life in the presence of God and proclaimed salvation over baby Jesus?
Well, if we have been understanding Paul’s advice correctly here in his letter to the Corinthians, we can confidently say that it was neither of them. They both fulfilled the calling that God put on their life.
In their mourning, God provided them solace—though in different ways. One through an earthly family; the other through deep communion with God. But they were both wholly dependent on Him.
(Beat)
Paul has been sharing advice to single people throughout chapter 7. In much of the chapter, he has made it clear that this was his holy pragmatism at work—that he was giving advice based on his Godly wisdom and experience.
But in today’s passage, he will deal his advice with a little more authority.
Let us look at our passage this morning. We are closing out chapter 7 in verses 39 and 40.
[MAIN PASSAGE SLIDE]
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Notice that Paul finishes by reminding the Corinthian believers of his authority as an Apostle—one sent for their benefit and indwelt by God’s Spirit.
It seems that he may be countering another statement from the church at Corinth in their letter to him, this time concerning believing widows. And while we’re not sure what it is that they have written to him, it is clear that he claims the authority of the Holy Spirit in his final piece of advice on singleness.
We are going to examine the life cycle of a marriage today as we study these verses. We will first look at what being married means. Then, we will look at two options that present themselves to the widowed person.
[POINT 1 SLIDE]
Bound (v 39a)
Prior to becoming a widow—or a widower—married couples find themselves bound to each other in covenant. Let’s look at what Paul writes in the first half of verse 39:
[PASSAGE SLIDE]
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
Married women are bound to their husbands. Now the inverse is true as well—that husbands are bound to their wives—but Paul is going to be giving advice here specifically to women who lose their husbands.
The reason he is addressing widows rather than widowers is because widows would have faced a much more difficult life in the ancient world. Outside of prostitution, opportunities for women to support themselves and their families were few and far between—especially for those of lower class with young children and no support system.
Notice that Paul is addressing the wives in the church. These are believing wives—those who have submitted themselves to Christ. It doesn’t matter if their husbands believe or not. As we saw in verse 10, the binding of a spouse is not conditional on the spiritual status of the spouse.
And so, we see that husbands and wives are bound together. The word “bound” in Greek means to be tied, restricted, or constrained. This word can be used literally—as in the sense of someone being arrested—or figuratively, as in this sense of marriage.
We have all heard men refer to their wives as their “ball and chain.” The inference here is that these poor men are now in jail, lacking the freedom to do the things that they want to do. And there is a sense of being “bound” in which that is true, that we are shackled to our spouse in our oneness by heavenly bindings.
But, husbands—if you think of your wife this way, I am going to tell you that you have failed in your calling to lead her well.
You have not yet submitted yourself to Christ and made it your life’s task to serve and disciple your wife. For the things that you want to do no longer matter. You were supposed to leave those at the foot of the cross when you knelt before the king.
(beat)
And you can think of the inverse as well. If you don’t like being married to a “ball and chain,” think of how she feels being tethered to a little yappy dog that wants to chase every car on the block…
Husbands and wives are bound together in covenant. God gave us this pattern in Genesis chapter 2 when He said that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” And so, the united couple is supposed to come together as one unit, fully submitted to King Jesus. But this is not always the case.
Sometimes, women find themselves bound to an unbeliever. Hopefully that has come as a result of an unbelieving wife coming into contact with the gospel—as believers should never marry someone who has not first submitted their life to Christ.
This is the issue that Paul is addressing. There are many believing women in the church who have husbands who do not believe. And because most of these women were betrothed as a child, many may not be in happy marriages. Some of these marriages may have become even more strained and volatile since the wife has become a believer.
But Paul reminds them that they remain in a state of covenant binding and that they should fulfill their covenant for the remainder of natural life. This goes for men as well. Regardless of the state of belief of your spouse, you have bound yourself to them under God, until you are parted by death.
[POINT 2 SLIDE]
Free (v 39b)
That brings us to the second half of the verse. What happens to that binding when a spouse dies? Look back at verse 39:
[PASSAGE SLIDE]
But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Again, Paul is addressing widows in the church, but the same goes for widowers. If their spouse dies, they are free to be married to whom they wish…
The Greek term koimao here means to fall asleep, but is a common idiom for death. Notice that Paul says that if her husband “falls asleep.”
That means that she can’t “put him to sleep” and claim the right to marry anyone she wants.
For these women who have been married off, it may be that they are treated shamefully and neglected. In those cases where a spouse is being denied the things that were vowed in the covenant—specifically material support, fidelity, marital right, and physical affection—Paul endorses their right to biblical divorce. But they do not have the right to end their marriage by helping their spouse take a “long nap.”
(We don’t have time to cover divorce and the remarriage of a believing divorcee this morning. But if that topic interests you, let me know and I can recommend a good book.)
But for those who find themselves as widow by the natural circumstances of life, Paul says that “she is free to be married to whom she wishes.” The sense here is that of complete relational freedom. Just like the virgin, this person has the God-given right to marry anyone that they desire. Paul has released the Hebrew from the law of Levirate marriage. They don’t have to be subject to another arranged marriage. They can find an available spouse and decide to marry—and they are free to do so.
But then Paul adds to that a caveat. He says, “if your spouse dies, you can marry anyone you wish… but only in the Lord.”
The widowed believer has the same restriction as the virgin believer does. Paul will go on to expand on this teaching in 2 Corinthians:
[SCRIPTURE SLIDE]
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
The prospective desirable spouse for a believer who is single for any purpose is someone who has already committed their life to Christ. For a believer to go and marry someone who is not also a believer is an abuse of their God-given freedom.
In the case that Paul has submitted to the church: the widow—being in submission to the Lord—cannot then submit herself to someone who is not also in submission to that same Lord. She cannot willingly submit herself to both light and darkness.
[PASSAGE SLIDE]
So, why is this understanding of such importance to Paul? He digs in here because of the prevalence of widows being remarried. Most younger widows would need to remarry for practical reasons. Unless her parents take her back in the house, she will struggle to make a living. Also, not having children to take care of her may become a burden for her in her later years.
Paul will go on to write to Timothy about the care-taking of widows. In 1 Timothy 5, he deals with this topic extensively. He tells Timothy there that it is preferable to have younger widows marry because of the distractions that will come from their passions (the same thing we spoke of a few weeks ago).
These younger widows, unless specifically called to a life of singleness by the Holy Spirit, should seek a Godly husband to help them focus on the mandate and the mission.
Older widows often are less consumed with their passions and have children that can care for them if they choose to remain single. Please note that this is not the case in Acts 6. There, both the Hebrew and Greek widows have no one to care for them, which is why they must rely on the church.
So, Paul is offering practical and authoritative advice to those who lose their spouse. The widowed person has complete freedom in the Lord to remarry whichever available Christian person they find of the opposite sex.
But, one final time, Paul is going to make the case for singleness.
[POINT 3 SLIDE]
Abiding (v 40)
He is going to say that if the calling to singleness is there, that the widowed person will be better off returning their full focus onto Jesus and to the mission of the church. Look with me to verse 40:
[PASSAGE SLIDE]
Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Paul once again—just as he did in verses 8 and 35–reminds the believers in Corinth that he thinks of singleness as a gift that brings joy. The word that he uses from happy here is a familiar word to us. In Greek, it is makarios. It means to be blessed, happy, or fortunate.
This is the word that Jesus uses 9 times in the sermon on the mount. There, in Matthew chapter 5, He says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… Blessed are those who mourn… Blessed are the humble…”
How better to describe a widowed person? A person humbled and poor in spirit, mourning for their lost spouse. And yet, Jesus says that they can still find joy in their state because He will comfort them and share with them His inheritance from the Father.
Again, Paul may know this from experience. In verse 8, he seemed to lump himself in with the widows, saying that “it is good for them if they remain as I am.” And here in verse 40, he again appears to empathize with the widows, saying that he also has “the Spirit of God.”
So, if we synthesize Paul’s thoughts here and in 1 Timothy, we get a sense of his thinking—and it fits perfectly with his advice earlier here in chapter 7: that widowed persons should seriously consider whether or not they are called to a life of singleness for the betterment of the kingdom of God.
Paul thinks that they will be more blessed and joyful in their single state—able to focus on serving King Jesus with no distractions. Unless—however—they find singleness a distraction.
Just like virgins who burn with passions, widowed persons can also struggle with distraction. Sometimes—as Paul explains to Timothy, especially for young widows—that distraction is the lust of the flesh or the overwhelming desire to be married and have children. But the widowed person has another distraction that can be added to their plate: that of loneliness.
For many older widows, that can be their main distraction from the mission.
(Beat)
A man named Fred Colby wrote an article about his experience as a widower. He had been married for decades when his wife passed. And even though he had many friends and was active in the community and church, he struggled with his grief. It was constantly distracting him from living life.
It seemed that everything made him think of his wife and he was constantly reminded of the void that was left in his life. And even though he had lots of social interaction, he felt as lonely as ever.
He found himself dealing with coping behaviors and being taken advantage of before he realized what he thought the problem was. He wrote that—after a spouse has passed—widowed persons often discover how few deep relationships they truly have.
Paul has been neck deep in ministry. He has been in these messy and lonely places with widows. And he even may have experienced it himself. And yet, he offers widowed persons blessing and joy in singleness.
For those who struggle with loneliness have two choices: Paul says that they have the freedom to remarry to a believer, or they can learn to abide fully in Christ.
That will be our focus for the rest of the message: for it pertains to us all.
Single people must learn to abide in Christ if they want to be able to remove the distractions of lust and relationships, and focus on the mission.
Widowed persons must learn to learn to abide in Christ if they want to be able to move beyond their grief and loneliness, and focus on the mission.
And even married persons must learn to abide in Christ to find a unified focus in raising their children in the way of the Lord and making other disciples. And if they learn to abide in Him now, they may be ready for a life of mission as a single widowed person later.
(Beat)
So let’s dig into this idea of “abiding.” What does it actually mean to abide in Christ?
The word “abide” in Greek is meno. It means to remain, or to stay. It is a verb speaking of someone’s physical location.
In the Old Testament, God speaks of Mount Zion, which can never be moved. It will abide in its location forever. But He also speaks of it metaphorically about life. In Genesis 6, before the flood, God says that His breath “shall not abide with man forever.”
It is this same “breath” of God—His ruach, which is His Holy Spirit that we find spoken of in the abiding in the New Testament. John uses this word “abide” more than anyone else, probably because it seems that it was important to his friend and master, Jesus. In fact, he quotes Jesus using the word 10 times in his gospel.
In John chapter 8, He said to those who believed him that “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.” And in chapter 5, He says the inverse, that if “you do not have this word abiding in you,” then you do not believe the One who has come from God.
Jesus goes on to flesh out this idea of abiding in John chapter 15.
[SCRIPTURE SLIDE x7]
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. (/) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (/) If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. (/) As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. (/)
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. (/) No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. (/) You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.
Here, Jesus makes clear this concept of abiding. Just like the branches on the vine, we are to dwell in His presence—taking nourishment from His Word in every moment. And the outpouring of this relationship of abiding in Christ is love.
Christian, Jesus wants you abide in Him because He has chosen you to be His friends—He has chosen you to be His family. And, as our brother who is also our King, He has given us a command to love one another and to bring others into the family.
And John will go on to tell us in 1 John chapter 4 that “we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.”
Church family, if you have the Spirit of Christ living in you, you have the ability to abide fully in King Jesus. The only question is: where do you get your nourishment?
Are you seeking nourishment from the world?
Or are you abiding in the Word of God?
Are you seeking to be fulfilled in a human way?
Or are you listening to the breath of God that fill you and gives you true life?
[PASSAGE SLIDE]
Application
Widowed persons can find blessing and joy in their singleness if they learn to fully abide in Jesus.
And to the rest of us—whether single, married, divorced, childless, or blessed with a football team of kids—we too can find blessing and joy if we learn to abide in Jesus by His Word.
[PREVIEW SLIDE]
As we wrap up chapter 7, I want to remind you to lean into your calling in whatever station of life you have been given. God has put you there for a reason. As Pastor Atreju reminded us a few weeks ago—redeem that place for the glory of God by seeking holiness and speaking the truth of the gospel into those places and into those people around you.
Learn to seek God daily in His Word. Speak to Him in every moment of the day, and listen to what the Spirit that abides in you has to say.
I want to leave you with an exhortation of Paul to the Colossian church:
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Invitation
Now if you are here this morning and you are not connected to the vine—if you aren’t getting your nourishment from King Jesus, I would love to speak with you this morning. Come and see what blessings and joy that you can find—even in the face of hardships and pain and loss.
CLOSE IN PRAYER
CLOSING HYMN
CONGREGATIONAL BLESSING
