True Friends

There was a popular show on TV for many years called Friends.  I never watched it, but understand that once you were a fan, you were hooked. It ran for 10 years and had a very strong following.  It consisted of a group of 6, 20-somethings who were trying to find success and happiness, living in Manhattan.  Each one brought to the table some unique quirks, coupled with all kinds of sarcasm and humor.  From what I understand, there was a loyalty to one another in spite of the challenges they faced in their relationships.  Many TV shows play to that topic of what real friends ought to look like.  It’s not perfection, but it’s deep friendship.

Several years ago, I was accosted by texting acronyms from my children.  Our oldest son would sign his emails, TTFN.  I actually had to call him to find out what this meant.  For those who are still wondering, it means Ta Ta For Now.  Then I discovered there is a whole language of acronyms, one of which I hear frequently; BFF.  For those of you who like things spelled out for you, I’m told it means Best Friends Forever.  

Even children long for friends.  It’s not just acquaintances, but dear friends.  As Anne from Anne of Green Gables states: Do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea? . . . A bosom friend—an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul.  I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life.  I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will, too.  Do you think it’s possible?

In the science fiction realm, we remember Mr. Spock, in that he had unique relationships with Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk.    Probably the most memorable scene and quotable quote of the Star Trek movies was when he was dying from radiation poisoning after saving the starship.  As he is bidding farewell to Captain Kirk, he states:  I have been and always will be your friend.  That’s the type of friendship that many long to experience.

As we think about Jesus, we usually don’t think of Him as having a need for friends, or even that the Son of God would have a friend.  And if He did have friends, what might they look like?  

In today’s passage, we’ll be looking at what true friends of Jesus would be.  The Bible is very clear who is and who is not a friend of Jesus.  One of the more difficult things I have to share with people, when they talk about going to church and believing in God, yet have not asked Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior; is the reality that the person is probably not going to heaven.  I don’t know the heart, but God does.  And the Bible is precise and clear when it describes those who are true friends of Jesus.

My best friend in high school and I were very similar.  We had the same dry sense of humor.  We had the same disdain for the things of this world.  We both sang the tenor part, though he had a much better voice.  We both played trombone.  The closer we became over the years, the more like each other we became.  People knew that if they saw one of us, they would find the other shortly.  I believe this type of friendship can extend to our relationship with Jesus Christ.

A true friend of Jesus will exhibit characteristics of Jesus.

Friends have Fervent Love. - 15:12-13

This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

Verse 12 may sound somewhat familiar.  It should, since Jesus spoke those words earlier that evening in the upper room.  For the person who has experienced and accepted the love Jesus has given, we are told to love one another.  This is not a suggestion, but a command from Jesus to His disciples.  We know that we cannot do this, except for the fact that Christ’s love has been poured out in our hearts, according to Romans 5:5.  As we chew on this a bit, we may wonder how one can be commanded to love.  It helps to understand that true Christian love is not a feeling, but rather a choice.  Proof of love is not found in how one feels, but rather in how one acts.  Feelings do come as a result of our obedience and surrender.

Listen to some of John’s comments in his first of three letters: 

The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. (2:9-11)

By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother. (3:10)

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. (3:14–15)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (4:7–8)

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. (4:20)

There is also an interesting measurement on this love.  The last part of John 15.12 states that this love is to be just as I have loved you.  Thus, even though we were unlovable and hateful towards God, Jesus loved us unconditionally.  It is a sacrificial sort of love that we are to give to each other, also.  

And then to show the extent of Jesus’ love, He shares the ultimate expression of love; the willingness to lay down his life for his friends.  A true friend in Jesus Christ will love in a sacrificial manner.  Loving one another is not an option.  It is an obvious characteristic of the true follower of Jesus Christ.

Another characteristic evidence is seen in verse 14.

Friends show Fidelity - 15:14

You are My friends if you do what I command you.

Fidelity carries with it the idea of being faithful and loyal to your responsibilities.  Doing what Jesus commands shows what kind of friends we are.  When you think about it, the whole issue of sin began when Adam and Eve did not do what God told them.  The whole focus on pride, self-satisfaction, and selfishness, in general, is a direct affront to God.  What kind of friend would do exactly the opposite of what you told them to do?  What kind of friend would rebel and do their own thing even though it would hurt them and obviously cut you to the quick?  I think we can all agree that this type of person is not a true friend.

Throughout the Bible, we see that obedience and faith are linked together, arm in arm.  If a person is going to be obedient to God, it is as a direct result of having their faith in God.  If a person has placed their faith in God, it stands to reason that they are going to be obedient to God and do as He states.

John described this in 3:36: 

he who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him. 

W. E. Vine, in his Greek word studies shows the connection between the words believe and obey in this way:  When a man obeys God he gives the only possible evidence that in his heart he believes God.  We also must remember that obedience does not produce faith nor earn salvation.  In fact, the opposite is true:  faith and salvation in Jesus Christ will produce obedience from the inside as we are surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Another characteristic found in Jesus will be found in us as true friends is found in verse 15.

Friends have Familiarity. - 15:15

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

The term slave has a different mental picture for most of us than it did in the times of the Scriptures.  That is somewhat unfortunate, for we lose some understanding because of how it has become corrupted over the centuries.  But for the Jewish understanding of slave, in its relationship with God, it would be understood that this person was completely surrendered to God and totally dependent upon Him.  In fact, scholars show that we have softened the meaning of this word to convey the idea of a servant to mean someone who is hired and can stay or leave as they wish.  However, the word doulos always meant a slave.  It is the problem of the English translations that have watered this word down and softened it to make it seem more acceptable.  A slave was to live in absolute submission to the Master.  

If we can understand the true meaning, then it makes more sense as to why this verse is so powerful.  A slave did not need to know why they were to do what they were told.  They were to simply obey and do it.   

Yes, we are slaves, according to the Bible; but Jesus reveals to His disciples that His followers are much more than slaves.  A slave was to obey without knowing any further information.  We are His friends.  We have been let in on what God is doing.  We’re not just slaves of Christ, though we are; we’re not just disciples or followers of Christ, though we are; we are friends.  To be called a friend of God has got to be the most awesome and amazing thing there is.  To be a bosom friend of God so that you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings, knowing that He is there for you all the time.  To be able to get to know Jesus on an intimate level while still understanding that He is God, has got to be one of the greatest highlights.

William Barclay gives an incredible insight into this from customs during that time:  This phrase is lit up by a custom practised at the courts both of the Roman emperors and of kings in the middle east. At these courts, there was a very select group called the friends of the king, or the friends of the emperor. At all times, they had access to the king; they even had the right to come to his bedchamber at the beginning of the day. He talked to them before he talked to his generals, his rulers and his statesmen. The friends of the king were those who had the closest and the most intimate connection with him. 

Warren Wiersbe parallels these thoughts:  the Greek word means “a friend at court.” It describes that “inner circle” around a king or emperor. (In John 3:29, it refers to the “best man”, at a wedding.) The “friends of the king” would be close to him and know his secrets, but they would also be subject to him and have to obey his commands.

Folks, you and I have the unique privilege as Jesus’ friends to understand some of the great truths from His Word, as He has given us His Holy Spirit.  This is only for His friends.  It is not for humanity, in general.  That is why so much of the Bible and the things of God and even the things which are preached by God-fearing pastors from the pulpits of churches are not understood by the unsaved.  They are not yet true friends.  

Dr. J. Oswald Sanders used to say, “Each of us is as close to God as we choose to be.” We are His friends, and we ought to be near the throne, listening to His Word, enjoying His intimacy, and obeying His commandments.

So, in looking at this, we must also remember that our friendship with Jesus is a friendship with God.  It is not as if he’s just one of the guys.  We are not on an equal plane with Jesus, even though we are joint heirs.  He is and always will be God.  

But there's one more characteristic that we need to understand. And it's something that may bother some of us because we like to think we have more control and more choice than we do. We may think that we have made the wise decision. But verse 16 gives us more insight.

Friends Bear Fruit. - 15:16

You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.

In college, most of the time, a student gets to choose which professors they have for particular subjects, depending if it fits their class schedules.  If nothing else, most students can choose which school they wish to attend.  Even in Jesus’ time, people would choose a rabbi and go to him and ask to be his disciple or student.  

Here, Jesus reveals to the disciples that they did not choose Him, but that He chose them.  You recall that each of them were busy doing their own thing.  Jesus came to them and told them to Follow [Him]. They left everything and followed Jesus.  They weren’t even looking to be disciples of anybody.  Jesus did not take them on because of any special giftedness they had.  If those disciples would have thought for a second about what they brought to the table, they would have realized, and probably did realize, that all that they were and all they could offer was only because of Jesus.  

This is just as it is with you and me.  We were chosen.  We brought nothing to the table to merit our salvation.  It is all God’s choice.  

He also stated that He appointed them for ministry.  This was not something they chose to do.  God had appointed them.  This word carries the idea that they were set apart or ordained for this ministry He had before them.  

And what had Jesus appointed them to do?  To go and bear fruit.  You may have heard the phrase:  The Christian life is not a spectator sport.  We cannot sit idly by in the stands while millions upon millions are dying and heading for hell.  

What is the fruit that the disciples are to bear?  It would seem from instructions to the disciples and the purpose of Jesus going to the cross is that the fruit would be that others would respond positively to the Good News and be saved.  And when a person is saved, their fruit would remain.

Yet, why does Jesus finish verse 16 with this comment?  that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.  What is the Father’s desire?  That all would be saved.  It seems to me and to many others that Jesus is emphasizing the need for us to pray for the salvation of lost souls.  Jesus tells us in another location that we are to pray for the Lord of the harvest that He might send out workers.  

In view of this section of scripture, what are the expectations of a true friend? What might a true friend look like?

Final Thoughts

We are called friends of God, which is a tremendous privilege.  And since we are, then we are going to act and behave like Jesus.  A true friend of Jesus will exhibit characteristics of Jesus. Let’s remind ourselves what that looks like.

We are to love each other.  Because we belong to Jesus and are His friends, this comes a bit more naturally than it did in the past.  However, Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 1:22 that we are to:

fervently love one another from the heart.  

In addition, because we’re friends of Jesus and He has sent His Holy Spirit, we know His Word.  As a result, we should know how we are to live.  We should have a desire to faithfully obey God in all areas.  Yet, it is not a magical osmosis that causes this to happen.  Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 2:15 that we are to:

study it diligently.  

We also know that we are not to be friends of this world, which is set in opposition to Christ. We should have a familiarity with Jesus, while not being so knowledgeable and familiar with this world.  As true friends of Christ, we serve Him while at the same time understanding why and how; because we’ve been given direct access to Him.  The world will try to suck us into an intimate relationship with it.  John tells us in 1 John 2:15 that we must:

be careful to not love it.  

We’ve also been granted the privilege of being His friends because He called us.  Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:1, that we ought to:

walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which we have been called. 

Jesus chose us to be saved.  He chose us to be set apart and proclaim the Good News. In this way, others will hear the message and many will be saved.  That is the fruit we bear which lasts or remains.  

I believe that the majority of you here are true friends of Jesus.  My challenge to each one of us is that we would exhibit or show the characteristics of Jesus.  That way, the world can see Christ in us, the hope of glory.  We are then able to bear fruit in the power of Christ.