The Hardest Prayer

INTRODUCTION

OPENING SLIDE

Let me ask you something hard.

When was the last time someone genuinely wronged you?

Not annoyed you.

Wronged you.

Betrayed you.

Lied about you.

The kind of thing that makes you want to stay angry because staying angry feels like justice.

Now here's the harder question: Have you forgiven them?

Don't answer that out loud; just sit with it.

How many of you have ever needed forgiveness?

That’s a much easier question, isn’t it?

Because we all know what it is like to fail.

We know what it is like to say something we should not have said.

We know what it is like to make a bad decision.

We know what it is like to hurt someone we love.

We know what it is like to need grace.

Here’s the problem.

We love receiving forgiveness.

We struggle with giving forgiveness.

We want God to cancel our debts, but we often want to collect on everyone else’s.

That is why I believe Matthew 6:12, 14-15 contains one of the hardest prayers Jesus ever taught His followers to pray.

In fact, it is the only request in the Lord’s Prayer that Jesus comes back and explains after the prayer is over.

He does not explain daily bread.

He does not explain temptation.

He explains forgiveness.

Why?

Jesus knew that one of the greatest battles His followers would face was not learning how to ask for forgiveness, but rather learning how to extend it.

Because the person who wronged us is still out there.

They haven't apologized.

They don't deserve forgiveness.

And Jesus is saying—through Matthew's gospel, directly to us—that our forgiveness from God is tied to our willingness to forgive them.

That's what we're wrestling with today.

Not three theological points, but three choices.

By the time we're done, you'll understand why this is called 'the hardest prayer.'"

Let’s begin with Matthew 6:12.

Before we ask whether someone deserves our forgiveness, Jesus wants us to remember how desperately we need His.

Matthew 6:12 NET 2nd ed.

12 and forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.

SERMON

MAIN POINT 1 SLIDE

I. Forgiveness Received

The Prayer We Love To Pray

Honestly, I wish Jesus would be stopped with verse 12; this is the easy part of the prayer; it is the part we love to pray.

I mean, when I mess up, I want to be forgiven; in fairness, I wish He would have omitted the last part of verse 12 because it would make the process of asking for forgiveness much easier and less messy.

Notice what Jesus does here.

He puts our request for forgiveness first. 

Before we talk about forgiving others, we're asking God to forgive us. 

And we ask with confidence. 

We believe He will do it.

Notice something else that is easy to miss but vital: Jesus does not use the phrase "forgive us our sins," which we would think He would use, but rather He tells us to ask God to forgive us our DEBTS!

Jesus uses the language of debt.

When most of us hear the word "debt," we think about money.

We think about a mortgage, a car payment, or a credit card bill.

But Jesus is speaking about a different kind of debt.

He is speaking about our sin debt before a holy God.

The picture is not primarily financial debt but moral and spiritual obligation.

"Debts" refers to duties or obligations owed to God and others that have not been fulfilled.

Sin is not merely doing wrong; it is failing to render to God what we owe Him.

Every time we fail to do what God commands, every time we say something we should not say, every time we think something we should not think, every time we choose our will over His will, we add to a debt we cannot pay.

The truth is, every person in this room owes a debt.

Some of us carry guilt from yesterday.

Some of us carry guilt from years ago.

Some of us still remember things we wish we could undo.

Some of us have words we wish we could take back.

Some of us have regrets that still haunt us.

And the reality is that no amount of good works can erase our debt.

We cannot serve enough.

We cannot give enough.

We cannot attend enough church services.

We cannot be good enough.

Many people TRY to pay off their debt in their own way; however, our debt is too large.

As I have seen the bills for my heart surgery roll in, I would hate to think what I would do without my wife’s insurance.

I would be north of $800,000.

If I liquidated EVERYTHING I had, I would not be close to paying off that debt.

When we try to pay off our debt to God, we would not even scratch the surface.

Doing that would be like me telling the insurance company, I don’t need your help; I will pay the bill.

That is why this prayer is so beautiful.

Jesus teaches us to come to the Father and simply ask, "Forgive us.”

Notice Jesus doesn’t tell us to negotiate.

He doesn’t tell us to explain.

He doesn’t tell us to justify ourselves.

He doesn’t tell us to compare ourselves to others.

He simply tells us to ask.

Why?

Because God is a forgiving God.

Let’s talk about the word forgive.

The word translated “forgive” carries the idea of releasing or canceling.

The word is commonly used in the New Testament to mean "to send away," "to release," "to let go," "to cancel a debt," or "to remit."

Here is something we miss in our English translations that is a vital part of understanding what the word "forgive" means.

The verb ‘forgive’ is an aorist tense, indicating a single act.

In other words, we do not have to keep asking God to forgive us over and over for something we have already asked Him to forgive us.

The prayer assumes continual dependence upon forgiveness because we sin each day.

This fits in with asking God to provide us our daily bread.

I don’t ask God to forgive the sins or debts I incur in the future, but rather for those of today.

Because Matthew uses “debts” and “forgive” together, Jesus is painting a picture of a ledger.

Every sin creates a debt.

Every failure creates an obligation.

When we pray, "Forgive us our debts,” we are asking God to do something remarkable: Cancel what we owe but cannot pay.

Then Jesus slips in the last part of verse 12, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.

When we forgive others, we are choosing to cancel a debt we believe someone owes us.

Everyone loves verse 12.

We love talking about being forgiven.

The problem is that Jesus doesn’t stop with the forgiveness we receive.

He immediately turns our attention to the forgiveness we give.

Matthew 6:14 NET 2nd ed.

14 “For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

MAIN POINT 2 SLIDE

II. Forgiveness Extended

The Principle We Struggle to Practice

WOW!

Really!

Verse 14 ruins it.

When Jesus finishes the Lord’s Prayer at verse 13 (next week), He immediately circles back to one subject.

Forgiveness.

He doesn’t return to daily bread.

He doesn’t return to temptation.

He doesn’t return to God’s kingdom.

He returns to forgiveness.

Why?

Because Jesus knows exactly where the struggle is going to be.

The struggle is not in receiving forgiveness.

The struggle is in extending forgiveness.

Jesus says it straight: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Notice the word "if." 

This isn't a suggestion. 

This is a condition. 

Your forgiveness of others determines God's forgiveness of you. 

Not influences it. 

Determines it.

Here's what makes this so hard: You have to do it first.

Let’s be honest.

Most of us don’t have much trouble asking God to forgive us.

We know our weaknesses.

We know our failures.

We know our mistakes.

The difficult part comes when someone sins against us.

When someone hurts us, suddenly forgiveness doesn’t seem nearly as easy.

And that’s exactly why Jesus addresses it.

Notice He says, “If you forgive others…”

Not if they deserve it.

Not if they apologize perfectly.

Not if they make everything right.

Not if enough time has passed.

“If you forgive others…”

Forgiveness is not based on the worthiness of the offender.

It is based on the grace of the forgiver.

God doesn't wait for the person who wronged you to apologize. 

He doesn't wait for them to feel sorry. 

He doesn't wait for them to deserve it. 

He forgives you before you deserve it; that's grace.

But then He turns to you and says, "Now you do the same thing." You forgive them, whether they apologize or not. Whether they even care or not. You release that debt."

Think about the person who hurt you. 

The one you thought about in the introduction. 

Maybe they lied about you at work and you lost a promotion. 

Maybe they broke a promise that cost you money. 

Maybe they said something cruel about you to people you care about, and they've never acknowledged it. 

They've never asked for forgiveness. 

They've moved on like it never happened, and you're still carrying it.

Jesus is saying, "You have to let it go anyway."

Now let me be clear.

Forgiveness is not pretending nothing happened.

Forgiveness is not calling evil good.

Forgiveness is not removing consequences.

Forgiveness is not immediately restoring trust.

Trust must be rebuilt.

Relationships may need healing.

Boundaries may still be necessary.

But forgiveness means releasing my right to collect the debt.

Remember the language of verse 12.

Debts.

When someone hurts us, we naturally feel they owe us something.

They owe us an apology.

They owe us an explanation.

They owe us justice.

They owe us the years they took from us.

They owe us the reputation they damaged.

They owe us the trust they destroyed, and if we’re not careful, we spend years carrying around an invisible ledger.

Keeping score.

Remembering every offense.

Remembering every offense.

Replaying every conversation.

But here’s the problem.

The person we refuse to forgive often continues living their life while we remain imprisoned by the offense.

Unforgiveness is one of the few prisons where we hold the key yet refuse to unlock the door.

Jesus says forgiveness is releasing the debt.

If verse 14 were the last word Jesus spoke on forgiveness, we might be tempted to treat it as a suggestion.

But Jesus is not finished.

He follows the promise with a warning.

Matthew 6:15 NET 2nd ed.

15 But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins.

MAIN POINT 3 SLIDE

III. Forgiveness Withheld

The Warning We Cannot Ignore

Jesus says it without softening the message.

That's not a threat. 

That's a fact. 

A consequence. 

A warning you cannot escape.

Verse 15 may be some of the most sobering words Jesus ever spoke.

Notice what Jesus does not say.

He does not say unforgiveness is unfortunate.

He does not say unforgiveness is unhealthy.

He does not say unforgiveness is unwise.

He says it is serious enough to affect our relationship with God.

Why?

Because an unforgiving spirit reveals a heart that has forgotten grace.

It is impossible to stand at the foot of the cross and fully grasp what Jesus has forgiven us of while refusing to forgive others.

The issue is not that we have been hurt.

The issue is what we do with the hurt.

Will we surrender it to God?

Or will we hold on to it?

Think about it. 

You come to God in prayer. 

You ask Him to forgive you. 

But you're holding unforgiveness toward someone else. 

You're asking for grace while refusing to give grace. 

Jesus says God will answer that prayer exactly the way you've answered others' prayers for forgiveness from you.

That's not cruelty. 

That's consistency. 

That's God treating you the way you've chosen to treat others.

 And it's unbearable because now you're standing before God without a single excuse. 

You can't say, "But they hurt me worse." 

You can't say, "But they don't deserve it." 

You already know those arguments don't work, because God forgave you anyway. 

He forgave you when you didn't deserve it. 

He forgave you when you didn't ask. 

He forgave you completely.

CLOSING SLIDE

CONCLUSION

Every person in this room has been wounded by someone.

Some wounds are deep.

Some wounds have lasted for years.

But Jesus is asking us a hard question: “Are you willing to release the debt?”

Not because they deserve it.

Not because they earned it.

But because you have been forgiven a debt you could never repay.

Unforgiveness doesn’t imprison the offender.

It imprisons the offended.

And every day we refuse to forgive, we continue carrying a burden Jesus never intended us to carry.

The hardest prayer is not, “Lord, forgive me.”

The hardest prayer is, “Lord, help me forgive them.”

You cannot cling to the cross with one hand and cling to bitterness with the other.

At some point, one of them has to be released.

When you stand before the cross, you realize two things: your debt was greater than you thought, and God’s grace was greater than you imagined.

If God could forgive a debt that large, who are we refusing to forgive?