The Reconciled Reconcile

PREACHING GUIDE — RECONCILED TO RECONCILE

Matthew 5:21–26

Series: The Sermon on the Mount

SERMON IN A SENTENCE

The King who left heaven to reconcile us to God commands every one of His

people—offender and offended alike—to leave the gift, go to the brother,

do what depends on us, and entrust to Him the restoration we cannot complete

this side of glory.

I. INTRODUCTION

ORIENT THE ROOM

- Back in Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5

- Sitting at the feet of the King enthroned atop the mountain

LAST WEEK RECAP (vv. 17–20)

- "I have not come to abolish the Law but to fulfill"

- "Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees..."

- The Pharisees were the gold standard — and Jesus says it's not enough

FRAME FOR TODAY

- Six examples follow: "You have heard it said... but I say to you"

- Six times — not separate sermons, one unit

- Jesus is not lowering the law's demand — He's reaching past the letter

to its true intent

- We start where Jesus starts — the sixth commandment

READ — Matthew 5:21–26

PRAY

II. THE ROOT JESUS EXPOSES (vv. 21–22)

THE PHARISEE READING

- Sixth commandment as prohibition against the act alone

- Check the box, move on

JESUS' READING

- Anger / contempt / dismissive insult

- NOT a staircase of escalating sin — three faces of one heart

- Climax: raka- hell of fire

- The real courtroom is the throne of God

KEY MOVE

- Murder begins way before the act

- Murder begins in the heart that wishes the brother gone

- 1 John 3:15 “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”

- The heart is where God judges

NOT ALL ANGER IS SIN

- Scripture knows a righteous anger

- God's wrath against sin is holy

- Jesus angry in the temple, angry at hardness of heart (Mark 3)

LUTHER QUOTE:

Luther describes righteous anger as, “An anger of love, one that wishes no one any evil,

one that is friendly to the person but hostile to the sin."

- Friendly to the person, hostile to the sin

WHAT JESUS CONDEMNS

- Anger of pride, revenge, "I'm right and you're wrong and I want you

to feel it"

- The anger that wishes the brother gone

THE TEST

- "Does it wish him well even as it grieves his sin?

Or does it wish him gone?"

PERSONAL STORY SPACE — recent moment of unrighteous anger, brief, owned

III. THE INTERRUPTION: WORSHIP WAITS ON RECONCILIATION (vv. 23–24)

SET THE SCENE

- Most vertical moment imaginable

- Worshiper / altar / Jerusalem / gift in hand

- Some have traveled days

- Nothing more sacred in their religious life

JESUS INTERRUPTS

- "Stop. Leave it. Go."

- He is interrupting worship itself

CHRISTOLOGICAL HINGE

- The One telling the worshiper to go is the One who left heaven and came

- Not commanding from a distance

- The voice telling the worshiper to stop is the voice of the God who

stopped and came

THE PRINCIPLE

- Horizontal rupture has priority over vertical worship

- NOT because the brother matters more than God

- BUT because God will not receive worship from a heart at war with His

image-bearer

- Vertical and horizontal cannot be separated

WHO CARRIES THE BURDEN

- "If you remember that your brother has something against you"

- This is the OFFENDER, not the wounded party

- Jesus is not telling you to wait for the apology

- He is telling you to go

DIRECT MOMENT

- If a face came to mind / if a name surfaced / if a conversation has

been replaying in your head

- Jesus is telling you to go

KEY PHRASE — preach with rhythm:

"FIRST GO. THEN COME."

- The order is not negotiable

- The worship waits. The gift waits. You go.

ANTICIPATE THE OBJECTION (briefly — we'll resolve later)

- "What if he won't talk to me / what if it makes it worse"

- We'll get there — first hear the command

- The first question is not "what if it doesn't work"

- The first question is "have I gone"

IV. THE URGENCY, MUNDANE AND COSMIC (vv. 25–26)

SURFACE READING — practical wisdom

- Owed debt / creditor sues / on the road to court together

- Settle out of court — once the judge rules, it's out of your hands

- "The last penny" = kodrantes, smallest coin

- The prison is one you cannot pay your way out of

PASTORAL APPLICATION (true on this level)

- Estrangement bearable today calcifies tomorrow

- A wound left alone scars closed around the offense

- The longer you wait, the more impossible the road back

- Settle now

PIVOT — the real point

- "But Jesus is not really giving us financial advice"

LISTEN AGAIN TO THE LANGUAGE

- Accuser / judge / officer / prison

- Debt that cannot be finished — the last coin is the smallest

- This is the vocabulary Matthew uses for divine judgment

CROSS-REFERENCE

Matthew 18:23–35 ““Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.””

- Servant owed unpayable debt / forgiven / refused to forgive

- Handed to the jailers "until he should pay all his debt"

- Matthew 18:35 — "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of

you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart"

- Same image, same prison, same unpayable debt

TWO LEVELS AT ONCE

- Earthly courthouse mirrors the cosmic courtroom

- Window to settle out of court mirrors the window before the Day

KEY PHRASE

- "While you are on the way" — that is NOW

- This life is the road

- The window is closing

- The Day is coming when the gavel falls and what was unreconciled

remains unreconciled forever

WHY THIS MATTERS

- Not meant to terrify into frantic activity

- Meant to wake the church to the weight we hold lightly

- Anger is not small because the God it offends is not small

EVANGELISTIC TURN — for anyone unreconciled to God

- If you cannot make peace with the brother you can see, what will you

do with the debt you owe the Maker you cannot see?

- The road runs out for all of us

- The Day is coming

LANDING — preview of the gospel close

- The debt has been paid

- There is One who has paid it

- We will come to Him

V. THE OTHER FACE OF THE COIN (Matthew 18:15–17)

WHY THIS SECTION EXISTS

- Matthew 5 puts the burden on the offender

- Some will hear that and conclude: "Then I'll wait. He owes me. I sit

until he repents"

- Scripture does not leave that option open

THE TWO TEXTS

- Matthew 5 — addresses the offender

- Matthew 18:15 — addresses the offended

- "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between

you and him alone"

- The OFFENDED also goes

KEY PHRASE

- "The coin has two faces — and both faces say go"

CRITICAL DISTINCTION — protect against misreading

- This is SYMMETRY OF OBLIGATION, not symmetry of fault

- Jesus is NOT flattening every conflict into "both sides equally to

blame"

- He is denying every party in the room the exit of bitter waiting

THE LANDING

- Bitter waiting is not patience

- It is sometimes disobedience dressed in patience's clothes

- Not waiting on the Spirit — nursing the wound, rehearsing the offense,

keeping the ledger open

- That is the root of murder from verse 22

THE QUESTION SETTLED

- Not "is it on him or is it on me"

- The question is — "have I gone"

VI. WHAT RECONCILIATION IS AND IS NOT

PASTORAL DANGER

- Some will hear all this and feel crushed

- "The relationship is broken. I have failed."

- Scripture itself does not leave them there

THE GROUNDING TEXT — Romans 12:14–21 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

Paul builds in two qualifiers:

- "If possible" — because sometimes it is not

- "So far as it depends on you" — responsibility runs to your boundary,

not one inch past it

THE CRITICAL DISTINCTION

THE DUTY OF RECONCILIATION

- Yours

- Achievable, fully, on your own

- UNILATERAL — you can finish it

What it looks like:

- Repent of your sin in the matter

- Go to your brother

- Make the wrong known / open the door

- Release the bitterness

- Stop rehearsing the offense

- Leave the door open should he repent

THE RESTORATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP

- Different thing

- BILATERAL

- Requires his conviction, his repentance, his willingness

- That is the Spirit's work in his heart

- NOT in your hands

- You cannot repent for him

- You cannot manufacture his change of heart

KEY PHRASE

"You are responsible for your obedience, not for his response."

ADDRESS THE WOUNDED

- Biblical reconciliation does NOT require pretending nothing happened

- Some have been told otherwise — swallow it, smile, act fine

- That is not biblical reconciliation

- Matthew 18:15 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

- Reconciliation moves THROUGH truth-telling and repentance, not around

WHEN THERE HAS BEEN HARM AND NO REPENTANCE

- The relationship has not been restored

- That is not your failure to bear

- That is the absence of what the Spirit alone can produce in him

ALREADY AND NOT YET — calling back the running theme

- The ALREADY = the demand. King has come. Kingdom inaugurated.

Reconciliation-ethic is NOW.

- The NOT YET = some reconciliations will not complete this side of

glory

- Unrepentant offender

- Rupture that does not heal

- Relationship that stays broken even after you have done everything

KEY LANDING

- You may have done everything that depends on you and still carry a

broken relationship into eternity

- That is NOT your sin to bear

- It is the not-yet of a world still waiting for its full reconciliation

- Your labor was not wasted — it was the kingdom breaking in

- The completion is HIS to bring

VII. THE GOSPEL GROUND

THE TRANSITION

- Now we come to the only ground on which any of this is possible

THE HONEST ADMISSION

- All of it — leaving the gift, going to the brother, settling quickly,

refusing the bitter wait — impossible on our own

- We do not naturally interrupt worship for the brother

- We do not naturally go first

- We do not naturally release the offense

- We hold it / rehearse it / wait

THE PIVOT

- "But we serve a God who did not wait"

THE GOSPEL — full force

- WE were the offenders

- The grievance was HIS

- The debt was ours, we could not pay the last penny

- While we were still far off, still enemies (Romans 5:8 “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” )

- The second person of the Trinity stepped down into His own creation

- The God who could have demanded we come to Him — came to us

NOT A COLD TRANSACTION

- He didn't send instructions from a distance

- He came and lived among His people

- Ate with them / wept with them / walked with them / healed them

- Loved them deeply and relationally before going to the cross

- Went as Love Himself making the ultimate sacrifice

KEY THEOLOGICAL CORE

"God Himself is love.

And the cross is what love looks like when the offended party

will not let the rupture stand."

THE GOSPEL FUNDS THE COMMANDS — preach as parallel structure:

- We can leave the gift and go — because He left the throne and came

- We can go first — because He went first

- We can release the offense — because the offense against Him has been

released through the blood of His Son

- We can pursue the unrepentant brother in hope — because while we were

unrepentant, He pursued us

THE NOT-YET PROMISE —

Colossians 1:15–20 “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”

- God has reconciled us to Himself in Christ

- And has promised to reconcile all things to Himself, making peace by

the blood of His cross

- The wounds you cannot heal — He will heal

- The relationships you could not restore — He will restore in glory or

wipe away in the restoration of all things

- Your labor — real and partial

- His labor — final and certain

THE CLOSING REFRAIN — preach with rhythm and pause:

"So church — go.

Go before you give.

Go while you are on the way.

Go to the brother who has something against you,

and go to the brother who has sinned against you.

Do what depends on you,

And leave what does not depend on you in the hands of the Spirit who alone can finish it.

Go and be reconciled because you serve a God who came to be reconciled to you.

FINAL WORD FOR THE UNHEALED

- When you have done all you can do and the rupture remains —

do not despair

- The King is coming

- He will reconcile all things to Himself

- The people He reconciled to God by His blood, He will not leave

divided forever

CLOSING PRAYER

- Reconciling God — loved us before we loved Him, came for us before we

sought Him

- We were far off, enemies — He sent His Son

- The word has exposed us — anger, bitterness, faces that surfaced,

names that came to mind, conversations waiting months and years

- We have called our waiting patience when it was something else

- Forgive us — for offering worship while at war / for nursing wounds

You told us to bring You / for thinking the apology has to come first

when YOU came to us first

- Give us courage to go / humility to move first / wisdom to know what

depends on us and what depends on You

- For the ruptures in this body — lift them up

- Don't ask You to paper over them — ask You to do the deep work of

Your Spirit

- Convict / soften / bring repentance / heal what we cannot heal

- Until the Day You reconcile all things, grace to do everything that

depends on us and entrust the rest to You

- In the name of the One who left heaven, walked the road, paid the

debt, and is coming again

KEY QUOTES — ready reference

LUTHER ON RIGHTEOUS ANGER:

"An anger of love, one that wishes no one any evil, one that is friendly

to the person but hostile to the sin."

1 JOHN 3:15:

"Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer."

MATTHEW 18:15:

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between

you and him alone."

MATTHEW 18:35:

"So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not

forgive your brother from your heart."

ROMANS 12:18:

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

COLOSSIANS 1:20 (paraphrase from memory acceptable):

God has reconciled all things to Himself, making peace by the blood of

His cross.

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KEY REPEATED PHRASES — preach with rhythm

"First go. Then come."

"The coin has two faces — and both faces say go."

"You are responsible for your obedience, not for his response."

"Bitter waiting is not patience. It is disobedience in patience's clothes."

"While you are on the way." — that is NOW

"We serve a God who did not wait."

"Go because Christ went."