GRACE-BASED PARENTING

DEFINITION: a philosophy of parenting that emphasizes balancing clear boundaries with limitless grace and promotes pleasing God more than using guilt or fear in punishment.

Do you have a plan for parenting?

Our childhood often forms our unique approach to raising children.

nature- unique personality

nurture- unique upbringing

pneumature- unique road to sanctification

CHRIST IS AT WORK IN OUR SANCTIFICATION:

circumstances

Christian growth

Children

Voddie Baucham: “Before God changes your children through you, He often changes you through your children.”

Elisabeth Elliot: “A mother’s sanctification may lie more in the nursery than in the prayer closet.”

Parenting, then, exposes us. Two authors called it a slow invitation into sanctification, “learning to become emotionally-regulated, humble, consistent adults who reflect Jesus in the ordinary, inconvenient moments of life.”

The Grace of God in Us

——> wrong view- me looking at my children

——> biblical view- I look at God before I look at my children

saving grace

to know Him

Acts 16:31 “And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.”

know your spouse’s testimony

children should know their parent’s testimony

sanctifying grace

to become like Him

Acts 11:23 “Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.”

sustaining grace

to serve Him faithfully

Jude 24 “Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,”

We, then, have a relationship with grace. As a parent

I am a forgiven sinner

I am loved by God

By God’s grace, I am growing in Christ and in His Word

The Grace of God in Parenting

God’s grace teaches us the value of boundaries

because we are saved by grace, we can live for God

because we are saved by grace, we should live within God’s structure

grace provides clear expectations

paints concise boundaries

not about control but clarity Proverbs and Boundaries

eyes/focus- Proverbs 4:25 “Let thine eyes look right on, And let thine eyelids look straight before thee.”

sexuality- Proverbs 5, 6, 7…

friendship- Proverbs 13:20 “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: But a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

tongue- Proverbs 12:1 “Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: But he that hateth reproof is brutish.”

virtue- Proverbs 31…

grace-based parenting focuses on relationship and restoration

our children are sinners

our children are raised by sinners Paul David Tripp: “Your child’s bad behavior is not first an interruption; it is an opportunity for ministry.”

address the heart, not just the behavior Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life.”

keep the relationship open Remember that this might be the moment most-remembered by our children.

distinguish identity from failure

define failure- an event, not a person

define grace as a means of keeping from sin or saving from sin but never as a license to sin

model repentance personally

apologize when necessary

“Parents who never admit wrong raise children who hide wrong.”

exercise discipline which is redemptive, not just punitive Galatians 6:1–2 “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”