Christ Centered Relationships (2)

Scripture:

Ephesians 5:21–33 NIV84

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21–33 CSB

submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[a] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[b] 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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Footnotes

5:26 Greek washed by water with the word.

5:31 Gen 2:24.

References:

Colossians 3:23 NIV84

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

3

Ezekiel 20:41 (NIV84)

41 I will accept you as fragrant incense when I bring you out from the nations and gather you from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will show myself holy among you in the sight of the nations.

Ezekiel 20:41 NLT

When I bring you home from exile, you will be like a pleasing sacrifice to me. And I will display my holiness through you as all the nations watch.

Romans 12:1 (NIV84)

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Romans 12:1–2 NLT

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Hebrews 13:15–16 (NIV84)

15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. 16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Background Study:

Submission fundamentally means choosing to accept another person’s will1. This concept encompasses several interconnected dimensions.

At its core, submission involves yielding to power or authority and placing oneself under another’s control or governance2. Beyond mere compliance, it carries an internal dimension: acknowledging one’s own inferiority or dependence through humble behavior2. It also suggests a willing surrender of one’s own desires to align with those of a superior, done without resistance or complaint2.

In practical terms, submission takes several forms. It can refer to presenting something—like a proposal or argument—to another person for their consideration3. It encompasses obedience and compliance with the directives or rules of someone in authority2. It can also mean acknowledging wrongdoing and confessing error2.

In Christian contexts, the concept carries particular weight. Complete and willing submission to God’s will is understood as a central Christian virtue2. The term isn’t about forced compliance or resentful obedience, but rather a deliberate alignment of one’s own desires with those of the authority figure—whether that’s a parent, leader, or God. This distinction between reluctant surrender and willing acceptance defines what submission truly means across its various uses.

1Mike McKinley, Luke 1–12 for You, ed. Carl Laferton, God’s Word for You (The Good Book Company, 2016), 198.

2Noah Webster, in Noah Webster’s First Edition of An American Dictionary of the English Language. (Anaheim, CA: Foundation for American Christian Education, 2006). [See here, here, here, here, here, here.]

3COLLINS ENGLISH DICTIONARY. [See here.]

The relationship between husband and wife is parallel relationship between christ and the Church. (Explore more)

But his concern here was not his readers’ lingering sins, but the void of neutrality, which put them at risk of falling back into the pagan lifestyle. These Christians needed to cultivate virtues that served as practical proof of their identity as God’s people (O’Brien 1999, 336) and set them apart from Gentiles who still lived like pagans (→ v 17). Lyons, George; Smith, Robert; Lyons-Pardue, Kara. NBBC, Ephesians/Colossians/Philemon: A Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition (p. 274). The Foundry Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Song List

Ephesians 5:21–33 NLT

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Introduction:

A friend of my published a poem/ story about an elderly couple who move into his neighborhood, the poem’s title was “A Real Miracle.” The old man and woman, whose “past time was auguring and fussing.” They were very poor just the bear essential could be found in the merger little cabin. Their kitchen consisted of a table and a chair, small wood cook stove a iron pot, and a skillet for frying eggs. On the other side of the room there was a small bed wooden bed and a few very warn comforters. It was not much but to them it was a lot and they need nothing more.

They had an old mare with warn harness and plow, and three chickens but no milk cow. Each spring they would hitch up the old mare to the harness and plow and prepare their small plot of land for and planting and hopefully a bountiful harvest. They continued to fuss and cuss and shout at each other that they could be heard by their neighbors. Nothing seem to change even with all the fussing and their poor surrounding they somehow seems to survive year after year.

One year just before spring the winter has been harsh so much so that the old worn out mare died because of the lack of hay. The old man knew planting season was coming soon and fritted about what he should do. There was no money to buy another mare. Each night he would lay in bead a wonder and consider what he should do. Several weeks before planting season he finally got an idea, and all night long he worked on his plan. The next morning he jump from bed and began gather the materials to fulfill his plan. As soon as he has gathered them he ran to the stall where the old harness was hanging. He took it for the peg and went straight to work, hammer and sewing and measuring. In just a few hours he had finished making alteration to the harness that once fit the old mare. When had finished he ran straight to the house with harness on his shoulder. His wife saw him coming and realized his plan. She protest lowly be the old man was insisted that she was part of his plan. He place to harness on her and it fit. The Old still screaming you crazy if you think I going to wear this thing.

A few week later plowing began the old woman put on the harness and back up to the plow and soon the field was finished and the seed were all in… There is more to that poem but I want to stop there. For when we read this passage we often just with Paul’s instruction to the wife. But at no time does Paul call the women to be as submissive as the old man in the poem expected his wife to be.

There is more to the spirit filled relationship lets examine the entire passage as Paul seems to intend this passage to be read and followed. First of all again he deals with dualism and in this case parallels. Paul compares the relationship of a husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the Church. And the depth of this message is found in the power of Christ Love toward his Church. Secondly Paul views the Church not as a structure but as a body, the church is viewed as the bride of Christ. And the depth of the love Christ exemplifies for his bride the church is the the same depth of love that a husband is to exemplify toward his wife.

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[a] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[b] 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Outline:

1. Submit in Reverence

Ephesians 5:21–24 NIV84

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Submission - It also suggests a willing surrender of one’s own desires to align with those of a superior, done without resistance or complaint2. ...In practical terms, submission takes several forms. It can refer to presenting something—like a proposal or argument—to another person for their consideration3. It encompasses obedience and compliance with the directives or rules of someone in authority2. It can also mean acknowledging wrongdoing and confessing error2....In Christian contexts, the concept carries particular weight. Complete and willing submission to God’s will is understood as a central Christian virtue2. The term isn’t about forced compliance or resentful obedience, but rather a deliberate alignment of one’s own desires with those of the authority figure—whether that’s a parent, leader, or God.

Ephesians 5:21–24 (NIV84) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Christ centered relationship began with the willingness to submit to each other. In any relationship rather in marriages or out side marriages the only way a relationship will world is for there to be mutual submissiveness. This can take on several different facets. But a relationship based on a one sided submission will crumble.

Paul also call the husband to be submissive basically because he is included in that first statement. Submit to one another

Paul calls the wife to submissive to her husband primarily because submissiveness is the foundation to a strong relationship

The church is called to be submissive to Christ who was also submissive to the Father plan of salvation for the church and all who would become part of the body.

Christ exemplifies submissiveness -

Philippians 2:6–11 NLT

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Sacrifice in Love

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[a] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 

Husbands Love Sacrificially - Love your wife as Christ loved the Church

Husbands don’t cope out with I am the authority and you are my subject with your wife this is not a Christ Centered Relationship.

Men your wives were never intended be your “mule” but your help mates. Warning we are never to be abusive to the help mate God has given us. We are called to honor and cherish our wives and be willing to give our lives for them.

Husbands we are called to follow Christ example:

Love as Christ Loves the Church

He gave up his life for her

To make her holy and clean

To present her to himself as a glorious church

Wrinkle and spot free

As the church follows Christ we are called to become a living sacrifice

Romans 12:1–2 NIV84

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Selfless in Unity

Ephesians 5:28–33 NLT

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Christ Centered Relationships produce unity-

In Marriages if the example of christ is followed love will exist

In marriage a husbands who loves his wife will be obvious

The husband will not have to convince the world he love his wife

There will be visible signs of that love

A Husband should love his wife as he love his own body

Cherish here

Care for her

Nurture her

Follow christ Example as he cares for the church

One in Body

The mystery of the Church is that the Church becomes one with Christ

The mystery of Marriage we become one with our spouses

We are Called to be Christ Church glorious without stop or wrinkle.

Tis a glorious churchWithout spot or wrinkleWashed in the blood of the Lamb'Tis a glorious churchWithout spot or wrinkleWashed in the blood of the Lamb

Verse 1

Do you hear them coming brotherThronging up the steeps of lightClad in glorious shining garmentsBlood washed garments pure and white

Verse 2

Do you hear the stirring anthemsFilling all the earth and sky'Tis a grand victorious armyLift its banner up on high

Verse 3

Never fear the clouds of sorrowNever fear the storms of sinWe shall triumph on the morrowEven now our joys begin

Verse 4

Wave the banner shout His praisesFor our victory is nighWe shall join our conqu'ring SaviorWe shall reign with Him on high

Conclusion:

Notes:

The Mystery of Christ and the Church: A Biblical Blueprint for Marriage

Bible Passage: Ephesians 5:21–33

Summary: In Ephesians 5:21–33, Paul provides a profound insight into the relationship between husband and wife, comparing it to the relationship between Christ and the Church. It emphasizes mutual submission and the sacrificial love required in a Christian marriage.

Application: This sermon will help Christians understand the importance of mutual respect and selfless love in their marriages, addressing common struggles such as communication, conflict resolution, and a lack of understanding of biblical roles. It encourages couples to see their relationship as a picture of Christ's love for the Church, leading to deeper connections and healthier marriages.

Teaching: The sermon teaches that marriage is not merely a social contract but a divine covenant that reflects God's intentions for humanity. It underscores the need for husbands to love sacrificially and for wives to respect their husbands, both serving as a testimony to the world of Christ’s love and authority in the Church.

How this passage could point to Christ: Christ is seen as the ultimate bridegroom, who loved the Church sacrificially and unconditionally. This passage highlights how Jesus' relationship with His Church serves as a model for marital relationships, illustrating selflessness, devotion, and a covenantal commitment that mirrors God's relationship with His people throughout Scripture.

Big Idea: True Christian marriage reflects the love of Christ for the Church, calling both spouses to selflessness, mutual respect, and sacrificial love that enhances their unity and glorifies God.

Recommended Study: As you prepare your sermon using Logos, consider exploring the historical and cultural context of Ephesians to understand specific issues facing the early Church regarding marriage. Pay attention to the Greek words for 'love' and 'submit' to analyze their theological implications. Additionally, examine relevant commentaries that discuss practical applications for modern marriages, looking for insights on how the relationships between Christ and the Church can be practically modeled in contemporary family life.

1. Submit in Reverence

Ephesians 5:21–24

Perhaps you could explore how mutual submission is the starting point for a healthy marriage, emphasizing that both husband and wife are called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This concept challenges cultural norms and calls couples to prioritize the other's needs, reflecting the humility of Christ. This submission fosters harmony in a marriage and shows how each spouse can glorify God by placing the other before themselves, thus reflecting the unity and love between Christ and His Church.

2. Sacrifice in Love

Ephesians 5:25–27

You might suggest focusing on the sacrificial love a husband is called to show his wife, just as Christ loves the Church. Highlight that this love is selfless and sanctifying, aiming to make the Church holy. A husband’s love should guide and nurture, just as Christ’s sacrifice was to present the Church as pure and blameless. This perspective encourages husbands to lead with love, prioritizing their wives' spiritual and emotional well-being, thus embodying the gospel in their marriage.

3. Selfless in Unity

Ephesians 5:28–30

Consider discussing the call for husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, emphasizing that in a marriage, two become one flesh. This unity reflects the intimate relationship Christ has with the Church, where He nourishes and cherishes it. Encourage husbands to value and care for their wives as extensions of themselves, fostering a partnership rooted in dignity and respect. This understanding helps build a bond reflecting the nourishing care of Christ.

4. Symbolize the Mystery

Ephesians 5:31–33

Maybe focus on the mystery of two becoming one flesh in marriage, mirroring the profound unity between Christ and the Church. This passage reveals marriage as a divine covenant, going beyond mere companionship to embody spiritual unity. Wives, respecting their husbands, and husbands, loving their wives, reflects this mystery. This unity symbolizes the deep connection desired by God with His people, offering a compelling witness to the watching world of Christ’s transformative love.