Choose Your Circle

Who’s enjoyed summer so far?

It’s just the beginning of your 104 days of summer vacation before school comes along to end it.

What summer does is it give you a break. It gives you freedom. After a whole year of being told what class to go to and who to sit next to.

This freedom that summer brings you and gives you allows for you to take a step back and intentionally choose what and who you surround yourself with.

You get to choose your social circle.

You get to Choose the people and the activities that will define you for the next few months.

How are you gonna do that?

I want to talk about the how. How we cultivate those relationships that uplift us and not lead us astray. I want to talk about what it means to surround yourself with people who help grow you not hinder you.

Look at Proverbs 13:20

Proverbs 13:20 ESV

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Walk with the Wise

Solomon, the second wisest person to ever walk on the earth, says to walk with the wise.

This is more than just a one time thing. I am not asking you to just be friends with or hangout with these types of people every once in awhile. Solomon is saying to us , I am saying to you “to walk with the wise.”

Walking implies a journey, a relationship, a shared direction.

The people you consistently spend time with will influence your…

thoughts,

values,

habits,

and ultimately your future.

You will turn into WHAT you allow into your heart and into your life.

Wisdom isn’t the same as knowledge. Wisdom is learned through observation and imitation.

Like a young child.

As they’re growing as they’re developing they are looking at those around them and they are imitating their behavior. They aren’t just listening to instruction but they’re also watching people. They copy

attitudes,

speech,

reactions,

and habits.

There is something engrained into us as people to be imitators of those around us. That is why it’s so important to surround yourself with the wise and those who…

Love Jesus

Pursue Holiness

Respect Others

Make Wise Decisions

Handle trials with faith

These qualities will begin to rub off on you. It’s like Paul said in 1 Cor 11:1

1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

God designed us to grow through relationships. That means that every…

friendship,

relationship,

or bond is taking you somewhere.

Solomon also says that a companion of fools suffers harm. SUFFERS HARM. Not becomes foolish.

Why is that?

Because fools make destructive choices, selfish choices, because they are only thinking of themselves and not those who are around them who often experience the consequences of the fools actions. It’s like getting in the car with someone who is driving toward a cliff. It doesn’t matter that you’re not the one driving you’re still in the car.

Friendships will never be stagnant, they won’t keep you in the same place.

Every friendship, every relationship will be pulling you away from Christ or drawing you near to Him. This doesn’t mean cut out all non-believers from your life, but it does mean that you need to be careful of who it is that has influence over you and your life. Prov 4:23

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

So who is the wise? How do I determine who in my life is ‘the wise’, and who is bringing me closer to Christ?

Does this mean it has to be the holiest or most righteous person you know? No. It’s someone who makes you stronger, builds you up. Prov 27:17

Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Sharpen One Another

Through this metaphor there is an actual process being described. In metalworking when you get two pieces of iron, create friction between the two you begin to gain a sharp edge.

The same thing should be happening in your friendships.

There should be friction, and I don’t mean breaking them down or disagreements but what I mean is there should be friction through challenge and engagement. That means that a true friend offers “faithful wounds” or honest feedback that may sting temporarily but ultimately will help you grow as in individual. Prov 27:5-6

Proverbs 27:5–6 NLT

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

It’s not just about being told about how great you are because believe it or not sometimes we aren’t that great. We fail, we fall short. Rom 3:23

Romans 3:23 ESV

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

The process also involves mutual support.

When one person falls, the other lifts them up —sharpening includes restoration and strengthening during difficult moments. Encouragement and building each other up means friends actively invest in each other’s growth.

This summer when YOU CHOOSE who to spend time with and surround yourself with, seek those who will hold you

accountable in your faith

and enrich your spiritual growth.

Who you surround yourself with matters. Not just the good but the bad. 1 Cor 15:33

1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Beware Bad Company

It’s not just about surrounding yourself with good people but it’s separating yourself from the bad. My parents used to tell me “trash in trash out.”

This goes for all things not just friends but everything.

TV

Music

Social Media

Environment

You name it. What you open yourself up to

forms you,

shapes you,

and steers you.

Have you not noticed the difference between your camp highs and your school year struggles?

You think that’s a coincidence?

You go to camp or you go to mission trip and you wake up next to people who are seeking Christ.

You make time and space to open your bible and spend time with God.

Your leaders are providing for you every way they can. Everything is set up in you a way that you can succeed.

That you can grow closer with one another and you can grow closer with GOD. You’re being engaged, equipped and empowered with the word of God and His Spirit and you’re fired up and feel like you can take on the world.

THEN

School comes around.

You’re around people maybe you don’t know or people who lead different lives than you do.

You’re told to do things you don’t want to do like wake up early and do your homework and suddenly you don’t have time to read your bible and you forget to pray and…

one day turns into a week,

a week turns into a month

and then you start hanging out with the guys in your locker room or the girls on your team or the person who sits next to you in class instead of that person who kept you accountable and encouraged you to grow.

WHY?

Because it got hard?

Because now it’s not easy?

Because now you have to make the sacrifice?

YOU have to make the choice.

Jesus Christ did. He made the choice and He made it for you.

Now it’s your turn. He left us with a choice to make.

How are you gonna respond?

With your freedom what kind of choice are you going to make?

Are you gonna set yourself up for success?

Are you gonna find the person that wants to see you grow and will challenge you?

Are you gonna accept the sting knowing its for your growth?

OR

Are you gonna surround yourself with people who do the opposite?

Who don’t want you to be better.

Who aren’t concerned about your growth.

Who doesn’t care about integrity.

Are you gonna walk with the wise or with the fool?

Walk with the wise.

Find the one who knows that God has something better for you. Find the iron that will sharpen you.

It takes two pieces of iron to sharpen, you can’t grow without friction, you can’t grow by yourself.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 NLT

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Lift Each Other Up

Guys we can’t walk this road alone and the amazing thing is that nobody is asking you too.

In fact everything and everyone will tell you that exact thing.

You can’t do it alone. You need help

Jesus has commissioned us to go out but He doesn’t ask you to do it alone. When He sent out His disciples, the 12, in Matthew chapter 10 He sends them in pairs for this very reason.

In the same way when you begin this faith journey I beg you do not do it alone.

Look to someone who can guide you,

look for someone who will walk with you side by side,

and after you’ve been walking that road faithfully find someone younger than you that needs that guidance just like you once did and be for them what someone was to you.

You have freedom.

Freedom to make a choice to walk with the wise or surround yourself with the fool.

You only have so long to make this decision and to ground yourself in it before the world makes it for you. Use this time, this season to pursue those who are pursuing righteousness.