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The gospel shapes the way we receive each other in relationships

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Opening Illustration:
We were visiting a country in West Africa. After arriving and settling in to the missionaries’ home, we began to take notice that there were hired hands that worked around the clock on site....etc These would have been the servants of the past…example…etc
Philemon was a slave owner who had been directly or indirectly led to the Lord by the Apostle Paul. At the time of the writing, Philemon lived in Colosse, where he hosted a church in his home and Paul. resided in prison fulfilling his first prison stay. As a result of this setting, Philemon is considered an prison epistle.
It would appear that when Paul wrote the letter to the church in Colosse, he sent this letter along with Onesimus back with Tychicus. See . In addition, when comparing the opening of Philemon with the end of Colossians we note that Archippus is in ministry. In all likelihood this is the son of Philemon. See .
Contrary to agenda-driven antagonists against the Bible and protagonists for the Bible, the letter to Philemon is not a treatise that is dominantly given to maintain or abolish slavery. We must be careful to understand that the scripture was written with a literal, initial intention and was considerate of the culture being written to. Just because the scripture speaks of something does not mean it condones or negates it. This is caution #1.
Caution #2: We must be careful to faithfully interpret the scripture through the lens of that culture first before current cultural consideration is given. In other words, we mustn’t see slavery as the dominant issue, and we cannot interpret slavery through a Civil War idea of slavery. For example:
Slaves by the time of Christ could be fully educated in every discipline, many of them in fact went into medical professions.  Slaves could take the benefit of owning their own property and developing their own economics and their own economy.  Slaves could leave their estates to their own children.  So by the time of Christ, slavery had moved away from many of the earlier abuses, though those abuses still in some cases did occur, and we’ll see that even in the book of James where some Christians who must have been his slaves or servants were treated in a very unkind and physically abusive way.  But slavery was changing and the Christian gospel coming into that world and the Christian preachers were not about to change the focus onto a social issue from a spiritual one.  You can only imagine that if Jesus and the apostles had begun to attack slavery what would have happened in the Roman Empire.  Sixty million slaves revolting would have been an unbelievable situation.  Society would have been thrown into such chaos and disarray and even – you can imagine that when such a rebellion would have begun, slaves would have been crushed and massacred savagely.  [https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/57-1/a-living-lesson-on-forgiveness]
The setting is quite clear. Paul is requesting in a very persuasive manner that Philemon, the believing slave owner, receive or accept the fugitive slave Onesimus. In three different verses, Paul requests this reception. See , , .
There are several reasons why Paul would have written this letter for reception:
Philemon, as a fugitive slave, would have been subject to just punishment by his owner. It was not uncommon for an “F” to be burned on the forehead of a slave for the latin term fugitivus. Slaves could also be marked for torture and/or execution for running away.
Paul was urging Philemon to forgive Onesimus. Though the word is not used here, the thought is clear. Paul understood the implications of the gospel and how the gospel changes how we understand relationships and how we understand justice.
It is this final principle that should speak to us this evening! We must allow the gospel to shape the way we receive people in gospel relationships! Gospel relationships are relationships where both parties are professing that they have the same Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
There are many reasons why today we seem to be less forgiving and less receptive of people who have wronged us. One is that we can continue to live comfortably with little fear of repercussion if we hold grudges. In the servile economy, to banish a servant from the home would have been a sentence of condemnation to poverty and homelessness. For us, when we are wronged, this is typically not a fear for us; so, we have gotten comfortable with the thought of just going the other way when we see the person or leaving them all-together. This is NOT faithful to the gospel we have received.
Secondly, we don’t allow the gospel to shape the way we receive people in gospel relationships because we are distracted from the gospel we claim to have received. We are too busy and really don’t have time to stop and consider how our responses should be towards people who have offended us. This is evidence of immaturity in understanding the gospel.
Thirdly, we don’t allow the gospel to shape the way we receive people who’ve wronged us because we find it easier to write people off than to work through the complexities of internal forgiveness. Rather than suffer the stress or self-discipline of thinking about it or wading through the emotions of it, it is easier to just move on and ignore the other person.
The gospel, on the other hand, calls us to see the offenders differently. The gospel, on the other hand, calls us to receive people who have wronged us. The gospel, on the other hand, challenges us to feel, think, and act differently towards offenders. How are we urged to receive them?
(1) There must be a reception based on an understanding of love (v. 8 - 14)

Explanation:

Paul could have called upon his apostolic authority to command Philemon to receive Onesimus. He has said similar things. See . He offers to Philemon a better reason: love. There are several components to the love mentioned:
(i) There is the love that Paul expected from Philemon. Paul, being older, expected consideration for this. This particular words indicated that Paul was probably between age 50 - 56. The respect for the elders is taught also in , where elders are to be treated as fathers. In addition to this, love for Paul was to be based on the fact that Paul was enslaved for the cause of Christ. It would seem to be an indirect way to elicit consideration for the cause of Jesus.
(ii) There is the love Paul had for Onesimus. Onesimus had been saved through the direct ministry of Paul. Paul expected consideration for the love he had for this son in the faith. Through this supernatural change, Philemon is urged to see Onesimus as profitable or useful. Paul is appealing to love as the ethic for which Onesimus is to be received.
Paul is appealing to love as the ethic for which Onesimus is to be received.

Principle:

Love is the better motive for reception.
Think of what the options are for Philemon. He could receive Onesimus for the sake of justice. He could receive Philemon for the sake of getting the debt owed paid. He could receive Philemon for the hope of more personal gain. Rather, Paul is urging Philemon to receive Onesimus, the offender, because of love.
It would do us well to note here that Philemon was already displaying this type of love toward the Lord and toward other believers - See . Paul also expressed the joy and encouragement he personally had by the outworking of this love toward other brothers and sisters in Christ. See . He is now showing that this must be the love that motivates the reception of Onesiphorus.
It should secondly be noted that this love is how God loved us. See in . Note that we are to walk in this love. See . It is this same love that is to be expressed towards each other. See . It is this love that is in the Spirit. See . God, having loved us in this way in Christ has also given to us His Spirit whereby we can love each other in like manner.

Illustration:

I have a finger rocket, and if I told you to duck some of you would do that. If I pulled out the finger rocket and aimed it, you would do so out of fear. You are motivated by fear. There is a better motive than fear or even duty - it is divine love.

Application:

(1) God’s love toward us has come in spite of the fact that we were enslaved to sin.
(2) You only find this kind of loving forgiveness in the gospel. To the unbeliever, the system of the world does not have this kind of forgiveness. The forgiveness of the world is what they require merit for.
(3) When we are wronged, the love that God has shown to us is the impetus for treating our offenders.

Transition:

Not only should we receive other believers out of love.....
(2) There must be a reception based on an understanding of eternity (v. 15 - 16)

Explanation:

Paul is not advising that servitude should not be expected; but he is urging Philemon to see how the gospel has changed his relationship with Onesimus. We know that Paul is not teaching the abolishment of slavery by a cross reference in . Onesimus is a beloved brother.
In addition note the eternal emphasis that is evident in this verse. The servile relationship is temporary, but now what they share in Jesus Christ is eternal. As Paul ends , he points to both the fleshly relationship and how this is impacted by the status that is “in the Lord.”

Principle:

The gospel perspective changes what we believe about others in relationship to us.
Please keep in mind how Jesus Christ up-ended the entire form of leadership in the Gentile world by teaching that the least is the greatest in the kingdom of God. This implies some very important things:
(1) When someone is born again, they are immediately subjects of the kingdom of God.
(2) As subjects of the kingdom of God, they are enabled and called to live as their new King Jesus.

Illustration:

Remember that it was Jesus Christ who girded himself with the towel on the eve of His death.
Remember that it was Jesus who washed the disciples dirty feet on the eve of His death.

Application:

(1) Some of us have closer relationships with people outside of the household of faith than with those in the family. Why is that? What mindset that is humanistic has warped your view of brothers/sisters in Christ?

Transition:

We should receive others out of love and with understanding of eternity.
(3) There must be a reception based on an understanding of substitution (v. 17 - 20)

Explanation:

Paul’s desire is that Onesimus would be imputed the account of the apostle Paul. For the debt that Onesimus probably owed, Paul would take that on his own account and pay for it. It is here where we reach the pinnacle of the gospel manifesting itself.

Principle:

The principle of substitution should shape how we speak and treat each other in relationship.
Just so we understand the principle of substitution, let’s look at the substitution of Jesus Christ.
He had to be a man in order to die in our place as a substitute. See
Christ’s substitution has been termed “penal substitution” meaning that Christ was penalized or judged.
Christ’s substitution can also be called vicarious. A “vicar” is someone who stands in the place of another or who represents another (Grudem). Christ’s substitutionary death is therefore vicarious because He stood in our place.
Illustration:
We were at a youth trip one year. At this event, they always do an event where they bring out the youth pastors for some kind of activity that does not end well. On this occasion they put a big wet sponge in a chair and played musical chairs....a youth worker said he would go in my place and he made it to the finale…etc
Application:
Can you think of one child in the faith for which you have shown this level of substitution? Several reasons we might say “No”
We have not considered the level of substitution Christ offered for us
We have not received the substitutionary sacrifice of Christ before God
We’ve not considered that the same substitutionary sacrifice of Christ was for them as for us.
Transition:
We should receive by love, with an view of the eternal, and with an understanding of substitution.

Concluding Thoughts:

What person have you been wronged by?
What have you done to receive them?
How have you lived out this principle of substitution?
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