The Mystery of Marriage

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To teach a Biblical view of marriage between a man and a woman and God’s desire to use the marriage relationship to illustrate the relationship between Jesus and the church.

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THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE

Ephesians 5:22
Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
AIM
To teach a Biblical view of marriage between a man and a woman and God’s desire to use the marriage relationship to illustrate the relationship between Jesus and the church.
INTRODUCTION
Paul spent a great deal of time teaching the Ephesian church about holy living by demonstrating love, kindness, forgiveness and unity in our relationships with others. His teaching went one step deeper with God’s desire in family relationships, especially between husbands and wives. Marriage is designed to be a mutual relationship between a man and a woman who are freely and totally committed to each other as companions for life. Concerning Paul’s teaching about marriage, someone wrote,
Holman Concise Bible Commentary New Relationships (5:22–6:9)

Wise believers filled with the Spirit who mutually submit one to another are to live out these truths in household relationships.

Our marriage and home relationships should be characterized by our deep love and lifetime commitment to each other. Let’s think about one final word before beginning our exposition of these verses. Paul shares with us solid principles about the ministry and purpose of Jesus when he unveils the mystery of marriage.
THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE IS EXPLAINED BY SUBMISSIVE LOVE
Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
I am very much aware how controversial this subject is in today’s world, but I hope most of us are spiritually mature enough to listen and learn, at least, part of the reason for Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives. I know the word submission is extremely disliked in our society, but have we really given God a chance to show us why He chose to inspire Paul to write these words? Paul encouraged wives to submit to their own husbands in the same manner they would to the Lord. Guys, I really believe our wives would not feel threatened by being submissive if we would strive to be more like Jesus in our our homes. Let’s look to an outside source and see if we can learn what God wants to teach us about the mystery of marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-24
A wife can serve the Lord by having a submissive heart toward her husband.

The reason she is called upon to be subject to her husband is that the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. As the church is to be subject to Christ, so the wife is to be subject to her husband. This subjection does not mean inferiority. It is clear that male and female are both created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27) and that in Christ, where personal worth is concerned, there is “neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). However, in the overall scheme of things, God has placed all of us in differing positions of authority and submission. The man may be in authority at home but submissive at work. The woman may be in submission at home and in authority at work. The point is, all social order depends on people’s willingness to work together and ability to determine who is the head of certain endeavors. God’s intention is that the husband be the head of the relationship with his wife.

A wife can serve the Lord by having a submissive heart toward her husband. At the end of chapter five, Paul summarizes his teaching with instructions for husbands and wives.
Ephesians 5:33 ESV
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The church is considered to be the bride of Christ. As believers, we are to be submissive to Jesus in our relationship. He is the head of the family, the church, therefore we are to be submissive. The mystery of marriage is explained by submissive love.
THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE IS EXPLAINED BY SACRIFICIAL LOVE
THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE IS EXPLAINED BY SACRIFICIAL LOVE
Ephesians 5:25 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25–27 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:
These verses may help us to understand the previous section much better. When a husband loves his wife completely, she will never have any fear of suffer from her life of submission. Why? Because husbands are instructed to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” A husband’s commitment to his wife means he is more than willing and ready to die when he loves his wife as Christ loved the church. This means we should dedicate our lives to the physical, emotional and spiritual welfare of the our wives.
Ephesians
These verses may help us to understand the previous section much better. When a husband loves his wife completely, she will never have any fear of suffer from her life of submission. Why? Because husbands are instructed to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” We are more than willing and ready to die when we love our wives as Christ loved the church. This means we should dedicate our lives to the physical, emotional and spiritual welfare of the our wives.
Paul had a lot more to say to husbands than he did to the wives. He actually set a very high standard for husbands, without a doubt, the highest of standards. There is a very good reason for Paul setting the bar so high for husbands and wives. Warren Wiersbe wrote, “Paul was lifting married love to the highest level possible, for he saw in the Christian home an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church.” A husband will love his wife sacrificially anytime he is willing to love her as Christ loved the church. He will be willing to sacrificially pay any price so his wife can serve and glorify the Lord in their home.
Paul was lifting married love to the highest level possible, for he saw in the Christian home an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church.
Remember, the church is considered to be the bride of Christ. Jesus was sacrificial in His love for the church when He went to the cross. The mystery of marriage is explained by sacrificial love.
Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 50.
THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE IS EXPLAINED BY SANCTIFYING LOVE
Ephesians 5:26–27 ESV
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:
Warren Wiersbe wrote, “The word sanctify means ‘to set apart.’ In the marriage ceremony, the husband is set apart to belong to the wife, and the wife is set apart to belong to the husband. Any interference with this God-given arrangement is sin.” The husband and wife should be set apart from the world to glorify the Lord. The only way our homes can glorify Jesus is for Him, and Him alone, to be the undisputed Lord in the marriage and in the family, therefore, our goal as individuals and in our families is to become more like Jesus. The husband and wife must walk in the Spirit if their home brings glory to the Lord. The only way we will ever walk in the Spirit is by spending time together praying and reading God’s Word.
The word sanctify means “to set apart.” In the marriage ceremony, the husband is set apart to belong to the wife, and the wife is set apart to belong to the husband. Any interference with this God-given arrangement is sin.
Ephesians 5:28–33 ESV
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 2 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 51.
Ephesians 5:28–30 ESV
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:28-30
I love Warren Wiersbe’s commentary on these last few verses.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Eleven: Heaven in Your Home (Ephesians 5:18–33)

Adam had to give part of himself in order to get a bride, but Christ gave all of Himself to purchase His bride at the cross. God opened Adam’s side, but sinful men pierced Christ’s side. So united are a husband and wife that they are “one flesh.” Their union is even closer than that of parents and children. The believer’s union with Christ is even closer and, unlike human marriage, will last for all eternity.

I love Warren Wiersbe’s commentary on these verses.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Eleven: Heaven in Your Home (Ephesians 5:18–33)

Paul referred to the creation of Eve and the forming of the first home (Gen. 2:18–24). Adam had to give part of himself in order to get a bride, but Christ gave all of Himself to purchase His bride at the cross. God opened Adam’s side, but sinful men pierced Christ’s side. So united are a husband and wife that they are “one flesh.” Their union is even closer than that of parents and children. The believer’s union with Christ is even closer and, unlike human marriage, will last for all eternity.

THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE IS EXPLAINED BY SPIRITUAL LOVE
CONCLUSION
CONCLUSION

two rivers may flow smoothly before they merge; but when they flow together, they often become tumultuous. Each river has its own current which collides with the current of the other river. This creates powerful undercurrents and spectacular rapids. As the rivers flow downstream, the collision of currents subsides, and the new river emerges—broader, deeper, more powerful.

So it is with good marriages. The forming of any new union may have rough water at first, but as the currents of life merge, the two become broader, deeper, and more powerful. The two truly become one. As the husband and wife imitate God, he blesses their lives with godly unity. As the two become closer to him, they become closer to one another.

APPLICATION
I want to make today’s applications very simple. Husbands and wives, are you fulfilling your God given place in the home in order to bring honor and glory to Jesus?
Do you have a genuine love for your spouse? Husbands, do you love your wife as Christ loved the church?
Is your home dedicated to the Lord? Is Jesus honored and glorified in your relationship with each other?
Prepared for First Baptist Church Oakdale - May 7, 2017
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