Dad Duty (2)

Intro:

Father’s Day can be a wonderful day, but it can also be a difficult day.

There are a lot of reasons for that.

For some, Father’s Day is filled with good memories.

You had a dad who…

loved you,

prayed for you,

provided for you,

encouraged you,

and pointed you toward the Lord.

For you… today is a day of thankfulness, and celebration.

But for others, Father’s Day brings pain.

Maybe your father…

was absent.

Maybe he was distant.

Maybe he was harsh.

Maybe he was there physically, but not really there emotionally or spiritually.

Maybe your father caused wounds that are still tender even many years later…

And that makes today a bit difficult…

Some of you can call your dad today.

Some of you may get to see him or spend time with him.

Others would love to have…

one more conversation,

one more meal,

one more Father’s Day,

but your dad has already passed away.

And for some, this may be your first Father’s Day without him… … …

Some of you ladies are thankful today as you watch your husband love and lead your children.

Others may feel sadness because that has not been your experience.

And then there are men here today who are fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, foster fathers, or spiritual fathers.

You love your family.

You want to do right.

You want to be faithful.

But you also know how heavy that responsibility can feel.

Now, this message is not intended to tear down anyone… My goal is to encourage all of us to better ourselves and be the men and women God has called us to be…

Yes, today is Father’s day and this message is geared towards the men in the congregation… but the principles we find can be applied to anyone…

I have entitled the message this morning, as **“Dad Duty.”**

Usually when we use that phrase, we are talking about Dad being left in charge for a little while.

Mom is gone for the day, maybe shopping, maybe at a ladies’ event, maybe just enjoying some quiet time… and Dad is officially “on duty.”

Sometimes Dad Duty looks a little different than Mom Duty.

Mom might say, “Make sure they eat something healthy.”

Dad says, “Pop-Tarts have fruit in them.”

Mom says, “Make sure they take a bath.”

Dad says, “They ran through the sprinkler… that’s Close enough.”

But if Mom comes home and…

the kids are still alive,

the house is still standing,

and nobody had to go to the emergency room,

… Dad feels like he has done a pretty good job.

However, when we look at Scripture, it is very obvious that Dad Duty is not something a man clocks into every once in a while.

Dad Duty is not just when Mom is gone.

Dad Duty is not just when the kids are little.

Dad Duty is not just

paying bills,

mowing grass,

and scaring teenage boys who come to pick up your daughter… (which I feel like I am getting very close to experiencing)…

Dad Duty is a calling from God.

It is a God-given responsibility to…

walk with the Lord,

lead your home,

love your family,

provide for those God has entrusted to you,

and most importantly, point them toward Christ.

When we think of the word “duty,”…

we think of responsibility… something that is not optional.

And when a man understands the value and honor of that duty, he takes it seriously.

That is true in marriage.

That is true in fatherhood.

That is true in the Christian life.

Just because a man fathers a child does not automatically mean he is being the dad God has called him to be.

There are many people who have had a man in their life who was more of a dad to them than their biological father ever was.

Maybe it was a…

grandfather,

an uncle,

a stepdad,

a coach,

pastor,

a Sunday school teacher,

or another godly man

… who stepped in and showed them what faithful manhood looked like.

And from God’s point of view, being a good and godly dad requires being a real man according to the standard of God’s Word.

So this morning, I want us to look at Psalm 128 and see three God-given duties for dads.

(Read Psalm 128)

Meat:

The first God-given duty for dads is this:

1. A Faithful Walk

Psalm 128:1 “Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways.”

I do not believe the writer of this psalm just randomly started here… I believe he started here on purpose.

Because a man’s walk with God is the foundation for everything else.

If his walk with God is out of order, it will eventually…

affect his work.

It will affect his marriage.

It will affect his parenting.

It will affect the atmosphere of his home.

But when a man fears the Lord and walks in His ways, he is building his life and his family on the right foundation.

That does not mean everything will be easy.

It does not mean there will never be problems.

But it does mean he is starting in the right place.

The first duty of a father is to walk faithfully with the Lord.

The Psalmist says, “Blessed is every one who fears the LORD.”

That word “fear” does not mean that we are to run from God in terror.

It means we reverence Him.

We honor Him.

We take Him seriously.

We recognize that He is holy,

He is good,

He is Lord,

and He has the right to rule our lives.

A faithful dad is a man who may not always get everything right.

He may stumble.

He may have to apologize.

He may have to start over.

But the direction of his life is toward the Lord.

As Fathers… we are to..

1.1 Lead by Example

Proverbs 23:26 says

“My son, give me your heart, And let your eyes observe my ways.”

A lot of dad’s tell there kids… “Do as I say, not as I do”

But Solomon is saying, “Son, listen to me, but also watch me.”

You should lead with such an example that you can tell your kids…

“Do as I say AND as I do”

Whether we realize it or not, our children are watching.

They watch how we talk.

They watch how we treat their mother.

They watch how we handle pressure.

They watch whether or not church is a priority

They watch whether the Bible is something we say we believe or something we actually build our life upon.

Now, That does not mean our children need to see perfection.

In fact, sometimes one of the best things our children can see is a dad who is willing to admit when he is wrong.

A faithful dad does not say, “I never mess up.”

A faithful dad says, “I messed up, and I need to make that right.”

There is something powerful about a child hearing their father say, “I was wrong. I should not have said that. I should not have acted that way. Will you forgive me?”

That does not make you weak.

That shows them humility.

That shows them repentance.

That shows them what it looks like to walk with God in real life.

Dads, your family needs to see that your faith is not just something you wear to church on Sunday.

They need to see that your faith walks into the house with you.

They need to see it at the dinner table.

They need to see it in the car.

They need to see it when plans fall apart.

They need to see it when money is tight.

They need to see it when life is stressful.

Because, as someone once said, “more is caught than taught.”

A faithful walk means we lead by example.

It also means we are called to…

1.2 Be a Picture of Christ

1 Corinthians 11:3 says:

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

Now, that is a verse that has often been misunderstood and sometimes misused.

Biblical headship is not a license for selfishness.

It is not permission for harshness.

It is not the right to sit in a recliner and bark orders at everybody else.

Biblical leadership is Christlike leadership.

And how did Christ lead?

He loved sacrificially.

He served humbly.

He gave Himself willingly.

He carried responsibility faithfully.

Ephesians 5 tells husbands to “love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.”

That means the husband’s leadership in the home is not about getting his way.

It is about giving himself for the good of his family.

The head of any organization carries responsibility. And in the home, God has given the husband and father a weight of responsibility.

That means, Dad, spirituality is not something we leave to our wives.

Now, we thank God for godly mothers.

We Thank God for praying mothers.

We Thank God for faithful women who teach their children the Bible, bring them to church, and point them toward Christ.

Many of us are here today because of the faithfulness of a mother or a grandmother.

But men, we should never take the attitude that spiritual things are for the wife and kids.

God calls men to lead.

That does not mean you have to preach a sermon every night at the dinner table… Your family may not survive that.

But it does mean you take responsibility.

Pray with your family.

Bring them to church.

Talk about the Lord.

Let your children know that Jesus matters to you.

Let them hear you ask God for wisdom.

Let them see you open your Bible.

Let them watch you make choices based on obedience to God, not just convenience.

We are supposed to give our families a glimpse of Christ.

Not a perfect picture, because we are not perfect men.

But our homes ought to be able to see Christ in the way we lead…

So the first duty is a faithful walk.

The second duty is…

2. A Fruitful Walk

V.2 of Psalm 128 says…

“When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.”

This verse moves from a man’s walk with God to a man’s work in life.

The man who fears the Lord is not lazy… He is fruitful.

He works.

He provides.

He invests.

He cultivates.

He produces something good for the glory of God and the good of his home.

Now, we live in a world that often has a confused view of work.

Some people worship work.

Their job becomes their identity.

They sacrifice their family on the altar of career.

They are present at work but absent at home.

Other people avoid work.

They do as little as possible.

They want the benefits of provision without the responsibility of labor.

But the Bible gives us a better way.

Contrary to popular belief… Work is not a curse.

Work existed before sin entered the world.

God gave Adam work to do in the garden.

But after sin entered the world, work became harder.

It became frustrating.

It came with sweat,

It came with thorns,

It became difficult.

Genesis 3:19 says:

“By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread.”

In other words, providing for your family is going to take some effort.

But it also means that there is a sense of dignity in honest work.

Whether a man works in…

an office,

a factory,

a field,

a shop,

a truck,

a classroom,

a pulpit,

or somewhere else,

… there is dignity in laboring faithfully to provide for those God has entrusted to him.

So a fruitful walk begins…

2.1 In Our Provisions

Again, v.2 says…

“When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.”

Most of us enjoy receiving a gift. That is always nice. Especially if it is something we needed or wanted and were not expecting.

But there is also a different kind of satisfaction that comes from…

working hard,

saving,

sacrificing,

… and then being able to provide something for your family.

There is joy in saying, “By God’s grace, through the labor of my hands, my family has what they need.”

Now, that does not mean every family will have the same things.

For one family, supper may be steak.

For another family, supper may be mac and cheese and hot dogs.

And honestly, some kids would choose the mac and hot dogs anyway.

For one family, clothes may come from a department store.

For another family, clothes may come from Goodwill, hand-me-downs, or whatever was on sale.

The point is not luxury.

The point is responsibility.

A godly man does not have to provide everything his family wants.

But we should take very seriously the responsibility to provide what they need.

1 Timothy 5:8 NKJV

8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Those are some very strong words.

God takes provision seriously.

Now, let me be clear.

This is not talking about a man who wants to work but cannot because of

sickness,

disability,

job loss,

or circumstances outside his control.

There are seasons when a man may need help.

There are seasons when a family may struggle.

There are seasons when others may need to come alongside and bear burdens.

The issue that Paul is pointing out to a young Timothy is unwillingness.

A godly man does not shrug off responsibility.

He does not live selfishly while his family suffers.

He does not refuse to labor while others carry the load he should be carrying.

A godly man loves his family, works to provide for them and does so as an act of service to the Lord, who has blessed him the family and the job in the first place…

And there is another aspect to this provision principle…

A dad may bring home a paycheck and still fail to provide what his family needs most.

Your children need more than food, clothing, and shelter.

They need love.

They need instruction.

They need discipline.

They need affection.

They need encouragement.

They need your presence.

They need your prayers.

They need your example.

So we must be fruitful not only in our provisions, but also…

2.2 In Our Parenting

v.3 says…

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.”

The wife is like a fruitful vine

And The children are like olive plants around the table.

In ancient Jewish culture, olive trees were very valuable.

They provided food, oil, and family blessings for generations.

And anyone reading this Psalm back then would know exactly what the writer was trying to say…

You see, olive trees did not grow up overnight.

They had to be cultivated.

They had to be cared for.

They had to be protected.

They had to be tended patiently over time.

And that is a picture of godly parenting.

We are not raising mushrooms that pop up overnight.

We are raising olive plants.

And olive plants take time.

You do not raise godly children by accident.

It takes God honoring discipline

It takes leading by example on a daily basis, not just relying on a couple of hours on Sunday to expose them to God’s Word

Yes, The church has an important role.

Sunday school teachers matter.

Youth workers matter.

Pastors matter.

Christian friends matter.

But God gave children to parents…

I tend to reference back to this on a regular basis…

Remember what Moses told the Israelites, in regards to God’s Word, before they were to cross into the promised land…

Deuteronomy 6:6–9 NKJV

6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

That means the primary responsibility for teaching children the Word of God does not belong to…

the Sunday school teacher,

the youth pastor,

the Christian school,

or even the pastor.

Those can all be wonderful helps, and thank God for every faithful person who invests Scripture into the hearts of children.

But they are helpers. They are not replacements.

God’s design is that the truth of His Word would first be taught in the home.

If our children are going to…

know the Word of God,

love the Word of God,

and build their lives on the Word of God,

… then it must begin with us.

Teach them that the Lord is not just part of Sunday. He is Lord of every aspect of your life.

And as you are teaching them… Remember…

2.3 It Takes Time

Again, verse 3 says:

“Your children are like olive plants all around your table.”

Olive plants grow slowly. But when they are cultivated properly, they can become strong, lasting, fruitful trees.

That is what we want for our children.

We want them to be strong.

We want them to be stable.

We want them to be well-rooted.

We want them to be spiritually grounded.

We want them to bear fruit long after we are gone.

But that does not happen overnight.

Now, I understand life is busy.

Work is demanding.

Responsibilities pile up.

There are bills to pay,

things to fix,

yards to mow,

vehicles to repair,

and a thousand other things calling for your attention.

But we need to remember that childhood is short.

We were driving home Friday, Jonathen and Melissa were discussing how long it had been since they had gone to the Zoo.

Melissa insisted that Jonathen had gone just a few years ago… that he was 12 or 13…

Jonathen said “The last time we went to the Zoo was just before we moved to Pierson, and I was 10 when we moved to Pierson”…

Now he’s 17…

Got a drivers license

a job

his own pick up truck…

And is hoping to Frontier in the fall of next year

Some of you dads already know this to well… but…

The toys on the floor will not always be there.

The bedtime questions will not always be there.

The requests to play catch, go fishing, read a book, or sit beside you will not always be there.

One day the house will be quieter.

And when that day comes, you will not regret the time you invested in your family.

You may regret hours wasted on things that did not matter.

You may regret being too distracted.

You may regret saying “not now” too many times.

But you will not regret loving them, teaching them, praying with them, and being present.

We need to cultivate our children like olive plants.

Water them with love.

Prune them with discipline.

Protect them from influences that would harm them.

Expose them to the light of the Son of God.

And cover them with prayer.

Lots and lots of prayer.

Because at the end of the day, only God can change the heart.

You can make rules, but only God can make them righteous.

So we must be faithful, and we must be fruitful.

And that leads to the third duty…

We must lead…

3. A Family That Worships Together

v.4 of our passage…

“4. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.

5. The LORD bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

6. Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel!”

verse 4 repeats the words of v.1.

“Thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.”

This is not a picture of a perfect family.

It is not a picture of a problem-free home.

It is not a promise that if you do everything right,

your children will never struggle,

your marriage will never have hard days,

and life will always be easy.

However, this is a picture of God’s blessing upon a home that is centered on Him.

A man who fears the Lord will want his family to worship the Lord.

Worship needs to be a priority.

Church should not be treated like an optional activity we attend if nothing better comes along.

Now, I know there are times…

when people are sick.

I know there are times when people travel.

I know there are unusual circumstances.

But as a general pattern, our families ought to know that worship matters.

The Lord’s Day matters.

The Word of God matters.

The people of God matter.

Prayer matters.

Serving matters.

The gospel matters.

Our children should see that God has first place in our lives…

A family that worships together is not just a family that sits in the same church building.

It is a family that seeks to honor Christ together… not just on Sundays… but every single day… … …

And the Psalmist shows us that the blessing of a godly home extends beyond one generation.

Verse 6 says:

“Yes, may you see your children’s children.”

That means grandchildren.

A godly father is not just thinking about today.

He is thinking about tomorrow.

He is thinking about his children and his children’s children.

He is thinking, “What kind of legacy am I leaving?”

Now, when we hear the word legacy, we often think of money, property, or things that can be passed down.

And those things may have their place.

But the greatest legacy you can leave is a faithful testimony of walking with the Lord.

Let your children be able to say, “My dad loved the Lord.”

Not, “My dad was perfect.”

Not, “My dad never made a mistake.”

Not, “My dad had all the answers.”

But,

“My dad loved the Lord.

My dad tried to follow Christ.

My dad prayed for us.

My dad pointed us to the truth.

My dad showed us what mattered.”

That is a legacy worth leaving.

We need men who will say, “By God’s grace, I am going to lead my home toward Christ.”

Not perfectly.

Not proudly.

But faithfully.

Closing:

So men, let me ask you this morning…

What kind of legacy are you building?

Not what kind of house are you building.

Not what kind of career are you building.

Not what kind of bank account are you building.

But what kind of testimony are you building in the hearts of the people God has placed around your table?

Because one day, our children…

may not remember every gift we bought them.

They may not remember every vacation we took.

They may not remember every ball game, every project, or every detail of childhood.

But they will remember what mattered most to us.

They will remember if we walked with God.

They will remember if we loved their mother.

They will remember if we prayed.

They will remember if church mattered.

They will remember if we pointed them to Christ.

I cannot stress this enough…

Dad Duty is not about being perfect.

It is all about being faithful.

So by the grace of God, let’s be men who have…

a faithful walk,

a fruitful walk,

and a family that worships together.

Prayer: