A Father's Blessing
Notes
Transcript
Thank you to Pastor Terrance for inviting me.
I invited Pastor & First Lady to a banquet at Shady maple for AAABS where I serve with Dr. John Boateng on the Accreditation Commission.
We unexpectedly ran into my father, Dan Kolb, there and that gave me an idea.
Today is Father’s Day and I can share with you something that I received from my father - his blessing.
There is crisis of fatherhood these days in America.
Many young men and women grow up without fathers.
Many do not really know their fathers.
And some have fathers that they wish they didn’t have - who have had a negative impact on their lives.
Television and the Media portray fathers as buffoons.
When is the last time you saw a father portrayed as a positive role model in the media or in movies?
There are some who would suggest that fatherhood is completely unnecessary.
They call it toxic masculinity - as if just being a man also makes you bad.
Is it any wonder so many kids want to be something else other than a man or a woman?
But God assigned an important role to fathers.
Namely that we represent “The Father” to our families.
From the time that children are little - our fathers are our first impression of what God is like.
If a father is harsh and critical - that is how we tend to see God.
If a father is warm and gentle - that is also how we tend to see God.
If a father is absent - it’s going to be hard to imagine a God who is ever-present.
If a father is moody and inconsistent - it is going to be hard to grasp the concept of unconditional love.
Together, mothers and fathers give us our foundations for life - security and identity.
Mothers are primarily nurturing - that gives us security.
A mother holds a baby close, anticipates their needs - makes them feel safe.
She focuses on the emotional needs of the child (as well as everything else).
But the role of a father is guidance, instruction and discipline.
A father holds the baby facing outward - even tossing them in the air.
They help a child discover and navigate the world around them.
Granted, some mothers (or fathers) have had to be both.
The role of a father is releasing the child into their God-given identity and destiny.
They tell us who we are and what we are here for.
My dad used to say to me, “You’re a Kolb - you can do anything you set your mind to do.”
He would tell me stories of how members of my family have been inventors and entrepreneurs. They were mostly farmers, but farmers who tamed the wilderness and provided food for the city since before the founding of this country.
Oh, and many of them were preachers - who taught the Word of God and led their congregations faithfully - while also farming and making a living.
Essentially my dad gave me a sense of where I come from and where I am going.
And He gave me the courage to believe that I can do it.
Robert M. Lewis started an organization called “men’s fraternity” that was influential in articulating for me what it means to be a man of God.
He also wrote a book called “raising a modern-day knight: which speaks directly to the importance of fatherhood.
He says that there are three things that children need to hear from their father:
I love you
I’m proud of you
This is what you are good at....
They need to hear specific encouragement that is just for them.
And the affirmation that they can do something well launches them into their destiny in life.
When Jesus began his ministry, the Father spoke a blessing over Him that launched him into his destiny.
10 And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”
We are going to see that the father’s blessing spoken over Jesus has these same elements.
Even a study of the Old Testament - the blessings of Isaac and Jacob - lends itself to these same ideas.
Commentaries say that a father’s blessing conveys spiritual authority, divine favor and a future trajectory for generational prosperity.
Spiritual authority is essentially hearing “I love you” or “You are my beloved son”
Knowing who you are and being secure in it is essential to moving in authority.
Divine favor is hearing “I’m proud of you” or “”with you I am well pleased”
You know who you are to God and you have the confidence that goes with it.
And Future trajectory is hearing “ this is what you are good at”
In the case of Jacob blessing his sons, he gave a word picture
Judah - you’re like a lion your going to be king of the jungle!
Joseph - you are a branch that will always bear fruit - I thought I lost you and yet here we are!
Issachar - your like a donkey - stubborn but dependable.
In the case of Jesus, the affirmation of what Jesus was destined to do was exactly what was happening at that moment these word were spoken.
Submitting to baptism by John.
Going down into the water and coming up again...
Paul would later describe it as symbolic of death and resurrection.
Lets look at each of these elements more closely, and then I am going to give opportunity for anyone who wants to either give or receive a father’s blessing.
Spiritual authority - I love you
Spiritual authority - I love you
1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
Robert Lewis says in his book that children need a vision for their life, to know who they are and that they belong.
The first that any of us needs to know in life is that we are loved.
But when you are little - being loved by God is an abstract concept.
We know that we are loved by God when we are loved by our parents.
After all, they had a part in creating us and they represent the Creator to us.
When our needs are consistently met and we are protected from harm we grow up believing that God will also provide for us and protect us.
We want our children to have the kind of relationship with us, as fathers, that inspires confidence in God.
Have the confidence to ask for anything.
Have the confidence to ask for anything.
9 And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11 What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;
In her book, “Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus” Lois Tverberg writes a chapter called “Praying with Chutzpah.”
Chutzpah is defined as “utter nerve, sheer audacity that borders on obnoxiousness.”
Tverberg continues, “How you pray reveals what you believe about God. Since I have heard this, I’ve listened more closely to what I pray and what it says about what I believe about God.”
What do you believe about God?
Do you have the confidence to ask God for … whatever!
Can you pray with Chutzpah?
If you can’t - is what you believe about God perhaps because you see your Heavenly Father as being like your earthly father?
Were you able to ask your dad for anything?
Did you usually get it or did you regret it?
Believe that what God gives you is good.
Believe that what God gives you is good.
9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
In this passage we are asked to imagine the opposite of what is true so that we will understand what is true.
Now for a moment, I had to think about the jokes that I may have played on my kids to see if there is anything equivalent.
I can hear the chuckle in Jesus’ voice as he says, “you may be evil, but you are not THAT evil!”
No good father ever wishes to harm their child. (Granted, there are also bad fathers.)
The form of the argument is a “how much more…”
God IS a good father. He is not like your dad, He is better!
This parable tests us as to what we believe about God.
Is God teasing me?
Would God promise me something and then give me something less than what He promised?
Is God ever mean or malicious in His intent?
Again, what we believe about God probably has more to do with our earthy experiences than God’s character.
Then comes the punchline- This is really about the Holy Spirit!
Until you know that you can fully trust God’s character, you will have difficulty moving in the Holy Spirit.
Divine favor- I’m proud of you
Divine favor- I’m proud of you
Robert Lewis say that children need a code of conduct.
In my family, my father was the disciplinarian.
I understand in some contexts - that may be the mother’s role - especially when the father is rarely around.
This is not only taught but demonstrated.
Children need to see that adults have rules that they live by as well.
Learning to live within your limits is how you become mature.
It is how you become responsible and dependable.
As parents, our children hear it when they do something wrong...
They also need to hear it when they do something right.
That’s called favor - you did good - you make me proud.
God’s grace is His favor.
God’s grace is His favor.
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
I have found that many people who grew up in the church have a slight misunderstanding of what grace means.
We tend to think of grace as being synonymous with God’s mercy.
The thing we remember most about grace is that we don’t deserve it.
So when we sing “Amazing grace” we miss what grace is because we are to busy remembering “...that saved a wretch like me”
Do you know what grace really means?
Grace is God’s favor - as in “blessed and highly favored”
God likes you! - Yes, He loves you, but He also likes you.
You bring Him joy and pleasure - just being you.
And it is because of Gods grace - His favorable disposition toward us - that He saved us.
Not because of what we have done but because of who we are - His children!
We’re His kids and He loves us because we are a reflection of Him!
That is the heart of the Father that swells with pride when he sees us looking like Him.
“I made you”
“I redeemed you”
:”Child you are mine”
When you get that deep down in your spirit - it moves you to want to be more like Him.
God’s favor empowers us.
God’s favor empowers us.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
This is the passage where Paul is talking about his thorn in the flesh.
It concludes with this amazing declaration about God’s grace.
It is God’s grace that empowers you - not the other way around.
God is not proud of you because you did good.
You do good because you already have and live in God’s grace.
That’s the secret to living.
We spend our lives trying to earn approval that we didn’t get from our parents.
Their lack of approval made us think that we failed God as well.
The truth is that God already knows who He made us to be.
His favor has more to do with who He is than who we are.
All we have to do is reflect Him,
Behold Him and reflect His goodness.
My youngest granddaughter, Moriah is only three months old. Every time I see her she flashes me a big smile. Which makes me smile. Then I realized what was happening, every time I see her I’m smiling at her. She’s just doing what babies do - mimicking what they see. So she sees me smiling and she smiles back. And that makes me smile even more. Which makes her smile more too. You should see us, it’s like a competition to see who can smile the biggest.
That is like God’s grace to you.
Whatever goodness you exhibit is a reflection of God’s grace.
Future trajectory - You are good at something
Future trajectory - You are good at something
Lewis says that children need to understand that they are living for something bigger than themselves.
We help them set that course with our encouragement.
Father’s release children into their destiny.
We have a role to play in their development - namely that of positive reinforcement.
Telling them what we see in them so, hopefully, we see more of it.
I grew up on a farm, milking cows. I remember one time milking cows for a neighbor who was going on vacation. This is the first vacation this guy had in about twenty years. I remember remarking - twenty years without a vacation? How do you do it?
He said when he was a boy his father saw him milking a cow. His father said, “hey you’re pretty good at that?”
That was all the encouragement he needed. He decided he would devote his life to farming. He had satisfaction in his work because he believed that what he was good at. Enough to keep him going for the next twenty years.
Fan a gift into flame.
Fan a gift into flame.
6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands,
We all have God-given gifts.
Telling someone that they do something well is recognizing that gift that is in them.
It is recognizing a spark of God’s goodness.
It seeing their potential.
And just like a spark is a fragile thing until it gets going.
People are often uncertain of their gifts until someone else notices.
Paul says to Timothy, “hey remember when I laid hands on you - I saw something in you. And I want to remind you to exercise it.”
That is fanning the gift into flame.
You need to breathe on it - give it some air.
If you don’t it can just … go out.
Every Timothy needs a Paul - a spiritual father.
Someone who calls us into our destiny by recognizing the gift of God and providing the necessary encouragement.
Prophesy - speak life into people.
Prophesy - speak life into people.
3 But one who prophesies strengthens others, encourages them, and comforts them.
The gift of prophesy is for everyone - in that God wants everyone to hear His voice.
To prophesy means to say what God is saying.
Paul reminds the church that God is good and He is about building people up, not tearing them down.
So people who claim to speak for God should do the same.
After all God spoke and the world was created - our words have creative power.
God spoke and life was the result.
Except when it came to man - He breathed His own life into mankind.
Whether is is speaking life or fanning someone’s gift into flame we get to participate with God is His work of restoration.
I said at the beginning that I would give opportunity for anyone who wants to pray or receive a father’s blessing.
Any man who is mature in Christ and is willing can give a fathers blessing.
You don’t have to be a father yourself to be a spiritual father to someone.
A spiritual Father is simply someone who embodies the Heavenly father.
Maybe to someone who didn’t have a father in their life growing up.
Maybe to someone whose father was absent or unable to communicate the love of the Heavenly Father.
Maybe they had a Father who communicated entirely the wrong message.
Sometimes what we need is for someone to show us what a healthy role model looks like.
To bless simply means “to speak well of.”
When you pray a father’s blessing you are embodying the voice of the heavenly Father.
Tell them God loves them.
They are His child.
They have value and worth.
Their identity is in Christ.
Tell them that God is proud of them.
Speak words of grace over them.
They are good enough because He is good.
God is pleased with them.
Then tell them they are good at something.
If you don’t know - speak prophetically.
Ask God to show you what He sees in them.
Or ask God to speak to them and ask them what God is saying.
Anyone who wants to receive a Father’s blessing, come and let one of these men pray for you.
