For the Weary Dad

For years, I have seen a trend when it comes to mother’s day and fathers day sermons.

On mothers day we typically focus on encouraging women who feel overwhelmed and just not enough. Then on Fathers day, we often tell the men, hey guys, your not good enough, step it up.

But over the years, I have come to realize this truth.

Just like mothers, many fathers are tired, worn out, struggling with feeling like the are not good enough too. Being a father is hard too.

In Fact, one source says that 72% of dads feel feel physically tired and emotionally worn out.

More and more fathers are experiencing Chronic Fatigues from sleep deprivation due to stress and pressures of life.

For the Christian Father it’s hard to balance working enough to provide for your family, Yet having the energy to provide for what your family needs from you spiritually and emotionally.

So today my goal is to encourage you fathers from this beautiful Psalm. But the truth is this Psalm while being specifically applied to dads this morning is universal. Meaning it offers hope to anyone feeling the pressure of life.

Psalm 127 CSB

A song of ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain. In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food— yes, he gives sleep to the one he loves. Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth. Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them. They will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate.

Often when we read the Psalms we almost never mention the title.

Here we see it labeled as a song of ascents. Now there are different opinions about what this means, but one of the stronger arguments seems to be that each verse is like a building layer. So that all of the ideas are built one layer at a time.I would say this definitely true of this Psalm.

So lets start off by looking at the foundational verse. It is the idea that the rest of this Psalm firmly rest on.

Psalm 127:1 CSB

Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain.

The first part of the blueprint we see is this.

I. We can work very hard at accomplishing nothing.

In other words we as men(and women) can work very hard and believe the lie that if we just work harder, God will bless our efforts. I mean isn’t this the American way. You can make anything happen if you are just willing to work hard enough.

At the core of this mindset it that I alone can control my destiny. I alone am responsible for the outcome of my life.

But this passage paints a different picture.

Imagine a builder who is highly skilled and works tirelessly but refuses to look at the architect's plans. He may be busy and sincere, but eventually walls don't line up, doors don't fit, and the structure becomes unsafe.

Point: Activity is not the same as alignment with God’s purposes and will. Success comes from following the Designer's plans.

The Principle is not work harder at accomplishing your goals but rather stay faithful working in the areas that God has called you too.

It is possible to work tirelessly and at the end of it all , If God is not in it, very little of your work will amount to anything.

So the answer is not work harder the answer is found in being faithful in evaluating what you are working for.

Be faithful in seeking God’s direction for you in every area of your life. So istead of spending all our your energy working on external things. Peter says it this way.

2 Peter 1:5–7 CSB

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

2 Peter 1:8 CSB

For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So if you work hard at being Godly, staying in step with the spirit of God, your life will be meaningful and your home will be built on a solid foundation and in this you will find rest.

Which brings us to the next point we see in verse 2. You will find rest because....

II. There is Rest in Dependency.

Psalm 127:2 CSB

In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food— yes, he gives sleep to the one he loves.

Do you remember the feeling of being a child? Each day would start and end very similarly.

I remember when I was about 4 years old, My older brother was in kindergarten, and my sister a new baby. I would wake up, hop out of bed run downstairs to the basement, our play room. And often jump on my rocking horse. or play with my G.I. Joes.

I would wake up without any anxiety about where the day was going. Instead the day had great anticipation. You got up and played, later took a nap, played some more, and then went to bed. Meals and snacks were given to you. There was no thought about how your food, lights, and house were payed for. These things were just there provided by mom and dad.

You had complete confidence that mom and dad were able to provide everything you needed.

And as we grow, I have noticed is the more independent we become the greater our stress level increases. The more we believe that life is up to us the more burdened we feel.

As the years go on for most of us the harder it is to parent, put food on the table, pay for extra things like soccer uniforms and new shoes.

As the father of 5 kids, I get it. it is easy to let the belief that it all depends on you come crashing down on your shoulders.

The more independent we see ourselves, the the more we believe we must take on our selves.

But God hasn’t designed us to live independently in stress. Instead he has designed us to live dependently with rest.

This comes from just a simple recognition that He is God and I am not. That what he gives me will be good and anything I attempt to achieve outside of him will be not. So...

Psalm 127:2 CSB

In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food— yes, he gives sleep to the one he loves.

Just like a child that rest in the provision of his mom and dad there is rest when we as Dad’s remember that life is not dependent on our abilities to provide. Instead we are to recognize our dependency in God and rest in that.

You see resting in him and Joy go hand in hand.

Psalm 4:7–8 CSB

You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and new wine abound. I will both lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Lord, make me live in safety.

In a very real way. God is telling us that rest in him is a gift in which he has granted us. Rest is a result of living in his love.

We have a world that says in order to love your family you have got to give them more… but then we have a God that says in my love I give you rest.

I am not asking you to do more for me I'm asking you to rest in me so that the work I do through you brings rest, joy and peace.

Did you know that one of the key needs that Dad’s often miss in providing for there family is rest and Joy.

and amidst the hard work and stress we can have Joy because we know.

Fathers often fail to provide the one thing that the family really needs more than the latest trendy clothes or latest gadget. Our families should be places full of Joy.

If you are poor but have Joyful home, Life is bearable. But if you have everything but your home is not joyful because of allowing stress to overtake you, your family may have stuff but miss out on what it means to live life in Christ.

But without this mindset, You can quickly begin to focus on the obligations that your family brings and lose all Joy in the midst of it all.

So From here the Psalmist seems to take a different focus but really what he is doing is redirecting our gaze from ourselves to our family. Both success in work and in family is dependent on God. When you realize this

III. The family is a joy not a burden.

Psalm 127:3–5 CSB

Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth. Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them. They will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate.

You see your family is not a list of obligations and demands, they are a gift from God.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon once observed that

"Happy is the home where children are regarded as a heritage from the Lord, and not as an encumbrance."

In biblical times, arrows were carefully shaped and straightened by hand. A skilled craftsman understood that his task was not to keep the arrow but to prepare it for its purpose.

Likewise, parents do not raise children merely to keep them close forever. They are shaping arrows that will someday be launched into the world to serve Christ. The joy comes not only from having children, but from watching God use them.

And When we look at this idea under the lense of Verse 1 we will find great joy in our own families

Psalm 127:1 CSB

Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain.

Why? Why does this bring great Joy?

That when a man strives to be faithful to the Lord. God is working for your benefit both in your family and in your everyday life.

Romans 8:28 CSB

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

So then Men, where is the rest in this?

you can rest because as imperfect as you are...The one doing the work, The father himself , is everything we are not.

He is perfect and his perfection more than makes up for our own deficiencies.

So much so that one of the blessings of a Godly man ,is that often mocked by the enemy he can sit back and say yeah all that may be true, I may have not been perfect but look at what God has done in the life of my children. God’s grace is truly better than life.