The Best Dad Ever

Epigenetics?

Anyone ever heard that big word before?

The dictionary defines epigenetics as - "the study of heritable changes in gene function that do not involve changes in DNA sequence.”

That’s not too complicated, but I have a better explanation.

Epigen

Simply put. You have your DNA. And there’s a lot we know and even more we don’t know about. So, I’m gonna wear my Junior High Science teacher hat for a second. My degree isn’t in Junior High science, but I do watch a lot of Star Trek, so it will sound good.

Basically think of your strand of DNA having a bunches of switches that either are on or off.

Maybe one of the switches is a love for sports. It’s either on or off.

Or another switch is emotional. Like easy irritability. It’s either on or off.

Or a susceptibility to addiction. On or off.

You get the idea.

Basically, from years of looking at people and DNA we’ve learned that epigenetics is triggered from our environment, not necessarily what we are born with.

And what are the contributing factors to our environment?

The people in said environment.

If you hang out with your parents a lot growing up, then you are going to turn out a lot like your parents.

Raised by the public school system, same thing.

Foster care?

Other family?

These switches in your DNA are activated by observing your world and developing habits in your life.

I had a friend growing up who looked and acted a lot like his dad, he still does. But when my friend became an adult he found out that while his mom was his mom, his dad was not his biological father.

But the man raised him and now my friend has similar facial features and daily habits thanks to his dad.

Now, obviously there’s way more to it than this, but these are the Junior High basics and it’s Sunday and Summer, we shouldn’t do too much schooling right?

For those aware I really like finding Jesus in the Old Testament.

He’s there in many different ways.

Sometimes in person, we call these Christophanies, like when a man came and visited Abraham and he found out it was the Lord.

We see Jesus in other people in the Bible. Like last time I was here I talked about Boaz and he was a redeemer, much like Jesus is our redeemer. Boaz paid a debt and saved a family. Jesus paid a debt and saved the world.

We also see Jesus in certain event. Like when the Israelites were getting bitten by fiery serpents and they looked at a bronze serpent and were healed. And when we believe in what Jesus did for us on the cross, when we look upon the cross, we are eternally healed.

Today we’re going to look at a few guys from 1 Samuel and see for ourselves first and foremost what it looks like when we allow the world to influence who we are and who we become when we let God influence who we become.

The first guy we’re going to look at is Elkanah. If all you read of 1 Samuel is verse 1 then you are going to think Elkanah is a main character, because he is the first guy mentioned.

To understand how he ran his house hold, we’ll look at the first 6 verses of 1 Samuel

1 Samuel 1:1–6 ESV

1 There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. 3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb.

If you know Hannah’s story at all, we all think very highly of her. But let’s look at some of the traits her husband has.

First, he has two wives. Now, I know I live in a world where polygamy is still practiced in the world, but here in the United States it is generally frowned upon.

And really, men, who wants more than one wife.

Because this would happen. You would like one more than the other, the one who wasn’t as liked would tease or be mean to the liked one or vice-a-versa. The kids would play favorites and learn that was okay because dad did it.

The other thing he did was when it was time for sacrifice he gave portions of the sacrifice to Penny and her kids. Please not it says HER kids. Not his kids. Often times a husband would favor one wife over the other and only claim children from the favored one. Penny had at least 4 children and was being treated second class while Hannah was treated better.

This is not an attitude to emulate, however, Elkanah might have used Jacob as a role model as Jacob had two wives and two concubines and he not only had a favorite wife, but favorite kids as well.

None of us in this room have multiple wives. At least I hope not. But some of us have Things in our lives we place above our wives or our kids.

I have known too many people who treat their wife or their kids as accessories or as less than him.

If that has ever been you, and honestly, it has been me.

STOP.

The Job of a husband and father is to provide and love his family.

ANd just one.

In Genesis God made Adam and Eve, not Adam, Eve, and Betty. And Jesus affirms this.

Matthew 19:4 ESV

4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

While it is true that God does not specifically say, “don’t have more than one wife,” he does say how he designed marriage to be. A man is to marry one woman, not two or three or 700.

If you read through the scriptures and dig into every man who is noted to have more than one wife, you will see trouble.

David, Solomon, Jacob, find them and see. It does not go well.

Similarly with us men in the room, if there is something in your life that is stealing your affection away from your wife. Put it down. I speak to myself here a little too.

Ladies, if you notice in your husband a distraction. Challenge him. Give him something to do away from his distraction.

Elkanah had a lot of distractions. A wife he didn’t love, but had at least 4 kids with. And Hannah, whom he did love and even asked her in verse 8 if he wasn’t more than 10 sons?

Anyone here want to entrust their child to grow up in this household?

I don’t.

Going back to epigenetics. You are likely going to have a kid grow up not valuing the women in his life. And becoming a dad that isn’t present for his kids.

If you’re not familiar with Hannah’s story. She really wants kids. She goes to the tabernacle and begins to pray. And out next two guys enter the scene.

Eli the priest and judge comes in and thinks Hannah is drunk. She convinces him she’s praying for a child and he confirms she will have one.

A while later she brings Samuel to live with Eli.

You ever heard the phrase, “The lesser of two evils.”

I used to hate that phrase until I learned what it really stands for.

Remember in the Bible where Jesus says “no one is good except God alone”, and Paul illustrates that “All have sinned,”

When we are given a choice in life, republican or democrat. McDonalds or Burger King. Polygamist Father or Failed Priest Father.

These are all examples of choosing the lesser of two evils.

Because none of the above choices is Jesus.

So Hannah is blessed with a son, Samuel. And she gives him, as promised to the Lord, which means he is under the care of the Tabernacle, which is run by Eli.

Eli was not a good guy to pick to raise a kid. I’m going to make some educated guesses on Eli here. They are based on the reading of scripture, but I am making some assumptions that may not be 100% accurate.

First, and this is true, if he is a priest, then he is a Levite and of the line of Aaron, we get this from some creative cross referencing in 1 Samuel and 1 Kings. IT’s his job to be right where he is.

I have unfortunately met several men in my life, who have no desire to seek after God.

They’ll make the claim, but it sounds like this.

“I put in my time when I was a kid, so I’m good.”

God was a job to get done. They spent their childhood going to church 1 or 2 hours a week. A real hardship right? Then when they got old enough to choose for themselves. They said, I’ve paid my way. I’m done.

A lot of regular church goers fall into this category as well. A number of people sit through church services each week because they firmly believe that putting in the time will get them their ticket.

They don’t get this from the Bible, but their own thought process. If I weigh the scale with church attendance, then I’ll get in.

This is my thought of Eli. He takes his job very seriously. He does his priestly duties and when Samuel comes into the picture, he teaches Samuel very well. But he’s just doing his job. Checking a box. Hoping that’s enough. Now, I don’t know his heart. I’m making some guesses based on the context of scripture.

I could be flat out wrong about his motives, but this we know.

He was a good priest and a bad Dad.

We’ll start with the good priest part.

1 Samuel 3:1–10 ESV

1 Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord in the presence of Eli. And the word of the Lord was rare in those days; there was no frequent vision. 2 At that time Eli, whose eyesight had begun to grow dim so that he could not see, was lying down in his own place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the Lord called Samuel, and he said, “Here I am!” 5 and ran to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he said, “I did not call; lie down again.” So he went and lay down. 6 And the Lord called again, “Samuel!” and Samuel arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he said, “I did not call, my son; lie down again.” 7 Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, and the word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. 8 And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” Then Eli perceived that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 Therefore Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down, and if he calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. 10 And the Lord came and stood, calling as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant hears.”

One of the key’s in this passage is verse one that says the word of the LORD was rare in those days.

Eli was teaching Samuel the JOB. And when it was done, they went to bed.

When we raise our kids we have two options when it comes to a Christian upbringing. We can take them to church every Sunday. We can tell them the rules and expect them to be followed.

Then when they grow up we can act surprised when they stop going to church.

Option 2. We can invest in our children spiritually. We can ask them questions, listen to theirs. Engage in Loving God, loving people and serving the world with them.

And then we won’t be surprised when they carry that faith into adulthood.

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Whatever you invest in your kids, that they will cling to.

Back to epigenetics.

You flip that good work ethic switch. They will grow in a good work ethic.

Pray together, they will want to pray with others.

Show them service, they will serve.

Some of you might be thinking, is this all just programming?

Yes. It is.

But the difference between Human programming and computers is that computers will always do as they are told. Yeah they glitch or get viruses, but they do what they are told.

No matter how much you “program” your kids, they have free will and can go against their programming.

Which is bitter sweet.

I grew up in a not really Christian and rare church attending household.

Those genetic switches were never switched in me. Until I met Jesus.

When you meet Jesus and start a relationship with him, you will notice changes in you life. Some are fast, some are slow, but they do happen.

Now if you look at verse 7 we learn here that Samuel doesn’t know the LORD. WHAT?!

He’s serving God, doing all the rules, but he doesn’t know God???

That’s step one, people.

If you get a job at a store and you arrive at work on your first day, you walk in the doors and what is the absolute very first thing you do before you do anything?

You clock in.

You join in the workforce.

You put the companies name on your shirt.

If I show up to Safeway/Gas Station and just start working. No uniform. No working relationship. What is going to happen to me, regardless if I’m doing a good job or not?

I’m going to be told,

“We don’t know you, either apply for a job, or be on your way.”

That’s kind of what’s going going on here. Eli is training him for a job, but hasn’t introduced him to the boss.

I said before he was a good priest. I take that back. He’s going through the motions without the relationship.

The only redeeming quality here is when Samuel wakes him up for the third time Eli figures out that the LORD is trying to get to know Samuel and he finally directs him to that relationship.

When you have someone in your life. Whether a kid or other family member or friend. Whoever, introduce them to Jesus.

Eli was teaching Samuel a job, not introducing him to his savior.

Eli was also a bad Dad.

Samuel talked to God and this is what he heard.

1 Samuel 3:11–14 ESV

11 Then the Lord said to Samuel, “Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which the two ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. 12 On that day I will fulfill against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. 13 And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. 14 Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.”

Samuel told all this to Eli.

1 Samuel 3:18 ESV

18 So Samuel told him everything and hid nothing from him. And he said, “It is the Lord. Let him do what seems good to him.”

I’m pretty sure Eli knew what was coming. In chapter 2 Eli is visited from another prophet and told something similar.

Eli knows that he not a good dad. He knows what his sons are doing. FYI. They were eating what was supposed to be scarified. They were priests and they were NOT doing the job and Eli knew it.

Eli was going through the motions of priesthood and fatherhood.

Not cool.

And Samuel grew up in this household.

Samuel turns out a bit better than Eli, but not much.

If you’re thinking. Wow pastor David, I raised my kids much more like Eli than I should have. Is it too late?

Not at all. Tell them now. God doesn’t deal with too little to late.

It doesn’t matter if you tell your kids about Jesus when their 4 or 44. Tell them.

Or if your the kid that Knows Jesus, tell your parents.

Tell your friends.

Samuel is our last guy.

The nice thing is that Elkanah seems to have not influenced Samuel in the marriage department.

1 Samuel 8 introduces us to Samuel’s son’s, Joel and Abijah. No mention of a wife at all, but Joel is the first born and Abijah is the second, it implies they were born of the same woman. And God does have a habit of letting the reader know if the son’s adopt the sins of the father.

And he doesn’t. At least not from his biological one.

1 Samuel 8:1–3 ESV

1 When Samuel became old, he made his sons judges over Israel. 2 The name of his firstborn son was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judges in Beersheba. 3 Yet his sons did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice.

Samuel never learned how to properly raise kids, so his kids turned out the same as Eli’s kids.

Samuel’s lesson is what really leads us to Jesus.

Samuel’s life and choices is what leads the nation of Israel to ask for a king.

That has been their cycle. There has not been anyone in Israel for quite some time that honored God fully and pointed others to do the same.

Samuel was not the one. And everyone after was not either. The cycle actually continues when Israel gets kings.

It’s not until Jesus that the cycle is broken.

Those genetic switches are going to get flipped. We have a bit of a say in how they get flipped. We can surround ourselves with people who love Jesus.

We could talk to Jesus and walk with him. The changes will come.

John 15:12–15 ESV

12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

I love this passage.

Jesus tells us to love like he loves. And how did he love. He gave his entire life for us.

We too can give our entire lives in love for others.

Jesus says that the greatest love is to lay down your life for your friends.

We aren’t his servants. This isn’t just a job. It’s a calling that he called us each to do.

He says those words that we are his friend if we do what he commands. That’s not a lose it if you slip up or don’t do the job right.

He’s explaining that we are his friends, not his employees, but he is letting us know he’s in charge.

Because God is relational, it means we can be friends with him. But make no mistake. He’s also the creator, the one in charge. Give that respect.

Elkanah, Eli and Samuel were part of a cycle that is still in place today.

We get our habits from the world. Now, hear me on this. The world was created good and there is a lot in it that is not sinful. It is a beautiful place.

But when we start serving ourselves instead of God or others, that’s when we are on the worldly cycle. We might go through the motions, but going through the motions don’t get us to the destination.

Jesus’ command in the Bible is just two things. Love God and Love People.

He says to love people like you love yourself, but there is no command to love yourself.

Elkanah seemed to love himself. Thought he was better than 10 sons.

Eli loved himself. Taught Samuel the ropes, but didn’t even think to show him the rope maker.

Samuel knew the Lord, there was a slight break in that part of the cycle, but Samuel’s kids did not know the Lord.

When we love only ourselves we put on blinders to Jesus’ will and commands.

It’s already assumed we love ourselves. That’s easy. Some disagree and I can get into that with you later, but it’s our calling to put ourselves aside and put on Christ.

Romans 13:14 ESV

14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Our command and goal is to become less, so he can become more.

It’s that simple, but also that hard.

I don’t do this everyday. I’m selfish. I love myself more than I should.

It’s a daily goal to not go through the motions and be all into what Jesus has for us.

I bring up this prayer sometimes. Some of you know it, but if it’s new to you write it down and either put it in your Bible or on your fridge.

“God, do in me all that you need to do, so that you can do through me all that you want to.”

I’m not one for scripted prayers, but this one has stuck with me. I want God to change me, so that I can share the gospel with more people.

That should be our pray.

SONG FOR WESTSIDE.

Let’s pray