What Does Real Love Look Like?

Philippians 2:1-11

Announcements

The Wednesday Night we get back from camp July 7th, we will be heading to DQ and Noble Park. It will be a bring your own money night!

Introduction

Throughout this series we have asked several important questions.

Who defines you?

What satisfies you?

When should I date?

Have a holy relationship or how do i?

Tonight we ask one final question:

What does real love look like?

Everybody talks about love. Songs are written about it. Movies are built around it. Social media constantly defines it. Our culture says love is primarily a feeling. Love is attraction. Love is chemistry. Love is finding someone who makes you happy.

The Bible gives us a much different definition.

Love is not primarily something you feel.

Love is something you do. It is a choice

The greatest example of love is not Romeo and Juliet. It is not a movie. It is not a celebrity couple like T Swift and Travis Kelce

The greatest example of love is Jesus Christ.

Read Philippians 2:1–11 “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross. For this reason God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow— in heaven and on earth and under the earth— and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Point 1: Real Love Puts Others Before Itself Philippians 2:1–4 “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”

Paul begins by reminding believers of what they have already received in Christ. They have encouragement, comfort, fellowship, affection, and mercy. Because Christ has loved them so deeply, their relationships should look different.

Verse 2 says:

"Make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose."

Unity happens when people stop focusing entirely on themselves.

Verse 3 says:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves."

The word "conceit" literally means empty glory. Paul is describing the person who constantly asks:

What do I want?

What do I need?

How does this benefit me?

Paul says biblical love asks a different question:

How can I serve?

Verse 4 continues:

"Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others."

Paul is not saying we ignore ourselves. He is saying we stop making ourselves the center.

This principle appears throughout Scripture.

Jesus said in Mark 10:45:

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Paul says in Ephesians 5:21:

"Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ."

Biblical love begins with humility.

Illustration

Imagine two people trying to dance while both insist on leading. They constantly step on one another's feet because each person is focused on themselves.

But when both people learn to serve the other, the dance begins to work.

Many relationships fail because two selfish people are asking:

What can I get?

Biblical love asks:

How can I give?

Application

Students often approach relationships asking:

Will they make me happy?

Will they give me attention?

Will they make me feel loved?

Instead, ask:

How can I encourage them spiritually?

How can I serve them?

How can I point them toward Christ?

Real love begins when we stop making ourselves the center.

Point 2: Real Love Sacrifices Philippians 2:5–8 “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.”

Genesis 2:24

Ephesians 5:25

Verse 5 becomes the center of the passage:

"Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus."

Paul says:

Think like Jesus.

Jesus possessed all authority, glory, and power. Yet verse 7 says:

"He emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant."

Jesus did not stop being God. He willingly laid aside His privileges and became a servant.

Verse 8 says:

"He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross."

The cross becomes the greatest picture of love in the entire Bible.

Love sacrifices.

Love serves.

Love gives itself away.

This is why Paul later writes in Ephesians 5:25:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her."

The standard for husbands is not culture.

The standard is Christ.

A husband is called to sacrificial leadership.

He leads through service.

He leads through humility.

He leads through love.

Genesis 2:24 shows us God's design for marriage:

"This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh."

Marriage creates a new family. The husband leaves his parents. The wife leaves her parents. Together they become one.

Marriage is more than romance.

More than feelings.

More than attraction.

It is covenant commitment.

Paul says in Ephesians 5:31-32 that marriage itself points to Christ and the church.

Marriage is ultimately a picture of the gospel.

Illustration

A parent wakes up at 2:00 in the morning to care for a sick child.

A husband works long hours to provide for his family.

A wife sacrifices her own comfort to care for her husband and children.

Love always costs something.

Jesus loved us enough to go to the cross.

Application

Students often ask:

How do I know if someone truly loves me?

Ask:

Do they sacrifice?

Do they serve?

Do they care about my spiritual growth?

Do they encourage me to follow Jesus?

And ask yourself:

Am I becoming the kind of person who can love someone sacrificially?

Dating is not ultimately about finding someone to complete you.

It is about learning how to love like Christ.

Point 3: Real Love Glorifies Jesus Philippians 2:9–11 “For this reason God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow— in heaven and on earth and under the earth— and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Matthew 6:33

Colossians 3:1-4

Paul ends the passage by exalting Jesus.

Verse 9 says:

"For this reason God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name."

Every knee will bow.

Every tongue will confess.

Jesus Christ is Lord.

Notice where Paul finishes.

He does not finish with relationships.

He finishes with worship.

The ultimate purpose of life is not marriage.

The ultimate purpose of life is Christ.

Jesus says in Matthew 6:33:

"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness."

Colossians 3 says:

"Set your minds on things above."

Even marriage is not ultimate.

Christ is ultimate.

The healthiest marriages are not marriages where two people worship one another.

The healthiest marriages are where two people worship Christ together.

This also shapes biblical roles within marriage.

Ephesians 5 teaches that husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Wives willingly support and respect their husbands.

Neither role is about superiority.

Both roles are about service.

Both roles are about sacrifice.

Both roles point to Christ.

Illustration

Think about a telescope.

A telescope is not the destination.

Its purpose is to help people see something greater.

Healthy relationships work the same way.

They help people see Jesus more clearly.

Application

Ask:

Does this relationship help me follow Christ?

Does it encourage my faith?

Does it point me toward Jesus?

Is Christ still first?

A healthy relationship is not two people making each other their gods.

It is two people worshiping the same Savior.

Conclusion

Over these five weeks we have learned:

Christ defines us.

Christ satisfies us.

Christ shapes our priorities.

Christ calls us to holiness.

Christ teaches us how to love.

The world says:

Find someone who makes you happy.

Jesus says:

Learn to love as I have loved you.

If you are not a Christian, your greatest need is not a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your greatest need is reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ.

If you are a believer, ask:

Am I becoming the kind of person who loves like Jesus?

Am I preparing for a future marriage that reflects Christ?

Is Jesus truly first in my life?