Impossible Attitudes for Impossible People

Introduction

Paul has addressed the theme from this mornings message before; so maybe it is a message we need to hear again. But it is in a slightly different context today. I mentioned back in vs 9 that authentic love is the underlying theme in every single one of these verses. Paul is describing how we as believes who share in the mercies of love should interact with others because of our authentic love. So when we get to Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” we have a string of three things. If I ignore the context, I preach a message on endurance during trials. That message would be good, but there is a larger application that the rest of the passage drives us to. Yes this verse is about endurance during trials, but it is about enduring the trials that others put us through in a spirit of authentic love.

People are not always easy to get along with. Because we are all sinners, we all hurt one another at some point. If you are living your life expecting people will never hurt you, you are naive. People say harsh things, they ignore us when we need to be seen, they do cruel things to us. They disappoint us, misunderstand us and even betray us.

Examples:

Loving an immature Christian- you have invested your life into them and taught them the scriptures. You’ve prayed with them and wept with them and yet they keep making the same mistakes or worse yet they turn their back on everything you have sown in their lives.

Dealing with different personalities- Let’s face it, we are not all built the same. Some people tend to be more blunt than others, while some will never tell you what they really think. Some are extremely disorganized and it drives the organized crazy. Some are overly sensitive, needy, socially awkward and hard to understand. We are all different in the body of Christ and it can be difficult to get along sometimes.

Forgiving repeat offenders- We are also weak sinners who struggle with sin. Some have hurt us and sought our forgiveness but now its happened again. We would love for victory to be instantaneous and permanent, but we tend to struggle with the same problems over and over again.

Caring long term- some people’s struggles. trials, illnesses are long term and require a lot out of us. Maybe it feels like it is more than we can give.

Serving without fruit- One of the greatest discouragements a pastor faces is when he has labored for years and it seems like there is no fruit. The church isn’t growing, the people aren’t responding, things aren’t changing for the good. What is the point?

It is in moments like these that it becomes hard to continue serving others in a spirit of genuine love. We lose sight of why we do any of this to begin with. And yet Paul ties together love, hope and endurance in Romans 5:2–5 “By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Without true love, we slack of in our service for one another. We are stripped of our joy in our service and so Paul is challenging us to endure. But not just any trials, we are to endure the trials that come about by loving people.

This morning I want to focus on three seemingly impossible attitudes to have when dealing with impossible people.

Rejoicing

Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;”

First of all, the scriptures say we are to rejoice. I don’t have to define this word for you because we know what it means, but I think some people have deceived themselves into thinking you can have joy without happiness. They sit there with a dour face and think they have joy. By disassociating joy and happiness, they have stripped the emotion from joy. Joy is more than happiness but not less. This rejoicing is not dependent on circumstances; it thrives even in tribulation.

Do you remember times in your life when you were excited to be serving God? You were eager to jump at the opportunity to do things, or help or preach to others. But somewhere over time, you lost that joy. Maybe it was the betrayals. You put your heart and soul into organizing the nursery, but parents criticized every decision you made. You invested your life into helping other people, but it seems like they never said thank you. Your excitement waned, you joy drained. It feels like an impossible expectation to say you need to endure serving these difficult people and rejoice while you are at it. It’s like saying eat your peas and smile while you do it.

Where does this kind of joy come from when it feels impossible? How can I rediscover joy when serving difficult people, when life has beaten me down? the key part of this phrase are the words in hope. Hope is our confident belief that God will do what he said He will do. For those who care the word in can carry the idea of the cause of your rejoicing, the way in which you can rejoice or the sphere of rejoicing. I am taking the view that Hope is the reason we can rejoice. The reason we struggle with rejoicing when people are hard to deal with is because we have lost hope. We don’t see beyond our current circumstances. We give in to cynicism.

People never change

Everyone is selfish

Why bother?

Hope gives us something to rejoice over because it reminds us

This isn’t the end of the story- while this person may be struggling, hurting me, even persecuting me; God can work a miracle and change them. For the believer, we will all eventually be changed to be just like Jesus Christ. Oh, it can be so easy to lose heart when dealing with people, but can’t we look forward to the day knowing that God will finish the work.

God will keep his promises-

Hebrews 6:10 “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” God sees when others don’t.

1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

Isaiah 55:11 “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: It shall not return unto me void, But it shall accomplish that which I please, And it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” God is using you even when you can’t see it.

Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” This present trial is nothing compared to the future glory we will enjoy.

There is meaning to the things I suffer- Back in Romans 5, we saw that trials produce endurance, experience, hope and the experience of God’s love. In James 1:2–4 “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” Trials form us into the image of Christ.

It may feel like it is impossible to rejoice when serving others is hard unless you rediscover your hope in God.

Patient

Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;”

Patience in modern terminology has taken on a slightly different tone than when the bible uses it. When we say we are being patient, we usually mean not lashing out at people who are aggravating us. That is part of patience, but patience here is the idea of endurance. It literally means to remain under.

Patience is like runner who is running a marathon. Every fiber of your body begins to burn and screen stop for most of us after the first mile, but the runner endures the pain and continues running.

Patience is like a mother giving birth. She knows that giving birth will hurt. This is part of the curse from the garden, but she is willing to endure that pain because of the joy of having her baby. She longs for that day when she can hold him in her arms and because of that it doesn’t matter how hard the pregnancy might be. Her love pushes her to endure it.

Tribulation is oppression, affliction or pressures. It is the pain caused by others in our lives. Most of the pain we face in life is because of other people. It might be that boss who makes your life hard or who loads you up with more than you can handle. it might be that person who should love you who ignore you or speaks harshly to you. In bible times, it might be that man who hates your faith and burns your house.

These things don’t go away immediately. Have you ever noticed that most pain from injuries takes time to heal? Tribulations take time. We can get frustrated, discouraged or even quite when things are hard. That person who isn’t treating you right might continue treating your wrong for awhile now. Those people who have betrayed you may honestly never come and apologize for what they did. You may have to bear the pain and scares of what happened for some time. Endurance is not quitting or losing heart even when the pain doesn’t let up.

That may also feel impossible in the moment. Let hope propel you forward as you endure what others have done or are doing. Do not let love lose its drive to continue serving others. Remain under the pain a little bit longer knowing that a day will come when you can put that burden down.

Revelation 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

Devoted

Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;”

Continuing instant or persisting in something comes from the word meaning to occupy yourself diligently with something. You could say you are devoted to it. It is in these moments that we need God. When serving others causes pain, when it isn’t easy, when you feel like quitting; fall to your knees in prayer. Hard times, if we let them, can put a wedge between us and God. They can silence our voice. But it is in those moments that we need him more than anything. Have you ever noticed that suffering often causes people to not do what they need most?

People are having problems in their home so they avoid church. A lady just had a miscarriage so she ghosts the women of the church. We are struggling with something spiritually but we don’t want to talk to the pastor about it. We are hurting so we push people away. But it is those moments when we need people the most.

In the same way when we are hurting, we can push God away. When others have hurt us, or the weight is too hard we blame God for it; so we don’t talk to him about it. Or we are too exhausted from the pain to pray. God knows and understands and patiently waits, but there is no one better that we could go to than God in those moments. I am not talking about a dry prayer through your prayer list, but true lament and a true calling out to God.

Trying times ought to drive us to our knees.

Trying times ought to drive us to our Lord.

Trying times ought to drive us to devotion.

When things get difficult, it is not the time to slack off in our prayer-life. It is in those moments that we need to become more diligent in prayer. More devoted to our devotions. You ever ask why we call them devotions. Here’s why. Be quick to fall on your knees to talk to God. And don’t feel like you can’t tell him how you feel.

In Lam 3:1-20, Jeremiah accuses God of

beating him vs 1

leaving him in the dark vs 2

breaking his bones vs 4

trapped him vs 5

not listening vs 8

being like a bear that tares him in pieces vs 10-11

Shooting him with arrows vs 12-13

filling him with bitterness and breaking his teeth

But he doesn’t stop there. While he tells God how he feels, he also in prayer reminds himself of who God is. Lam 3:21-24.

a. God’s compassion doesn’t fail

b. His mercies are new every day

c. He is faithful

d. God is my inheritance

Lamentations 3:24 “The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.”

Notice the last phrase therefore will I hope in Him. Prayer might be messy in moments like these, prayer might be hard. But as we work through the pain in prayer, we find hope. Hope gives us something to rejoice in, Hope pushes us forward when we want to quite and coming to God in true prayer restores our hope. Therefore

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”

Conclusion

I have heard many a preacher say that he is ready to resign every Monday. Serving and loving people is hard, it costs us something, and it often brings pain with it, but it is never worthless, it is never in vain, it will accomplish something. God sees what you are going through at the hands of others, he will reward, comfort, and heal. So when loving others becomes hard, fight for joy, keep on enduring and fall on your knees before God.

Maybe this morning, you are tired of it all. You have lost the joy of serving and you are ready to quite. I want to challenge you to keep on enduring, but the only way you can keep on, is if you rediscover you hope in the Lord. Renew your mind about why you serve to being with, what is it you hope to get out of loving others. Remember God sees when others don’t, God will reward when you think no one cares. Remember that while it seems hopeless now, God is faithful and he will accomplish his work in their lives. Nothing you do for Him is pointless. Let’s rejoice, endure and devotedly seek the Lord.