Discreet in Actions

Psalm 112:5-8

Ephesians 5:15-17

Tonight we’re looking at the character trait of being discreet.

Discreet means forming sound opinions and giving serious attention and thought to what one is doing, especially to details.

That may not sound as stirring as courage, compassion, or faith, but discretion is a vital part of Christian living.

A lack of discretion has caused people to say things they couldn’t take back, make decisions they hadn’t prayed through, and walk into situations they should have avoided.

It has hurt homes, damaged friendships, weakened churches, and led many Christians into regret.

Discretion is not simply being quiet or private.

Biblical discretion is the wisdom to stop and think before we act.

It is the grace to ask, “Is this right?”

“Is this wise?”

“Is this pleasing to the Lord?”

Psalm 112:5 says, “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.”

That good man is kind, but he is not careless.

He shows favor, but he still guides his affairs.

He is generous, but he thinks wisely.

Ephesians 5:15 says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.”

To walk circumspectly is to walk carefully.

It is the picture of a person watching where he steps.

He is not drifting through life.

He is not living by impulse.

He is walking with thought, wisdom, and attention.

Tonight I want to give you three marks of a discreet Christian.

I. He Thinks Carefully

Psalm 112:5 says, “He will guide his affairs with discretion.”

That phrase is important.

Some people don’t guide their affairs.

They let their affairs guide them.

They let pressure guide them.

They let feelings guide them.

They let other people’s expectations guide them.

But the good man guides his affairs with discretion.

He doesn’t live by accident.

He thinks carefully about what he is doing.

A. He Slows Down

One of the first marks of discretion is that it slows us down.

That doesn’t mean a discreet person never acts quickly.

There are times when obedience must be immediate.

There are needs that are urgent.

But even then, the discreet person is not ruled by panic, anger, or impulse.

Proverbs 14:29 KJV

29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

A hasty spirit is quick inside.

Quick to react.

Quick to answer.

Quick to assume.

Quick to be offended.

Quick to speak.

Quick to promise.

Quick to quit.

Quick to judge.

The Bible says that kind of hastiness exalts folly.

It gives foolishness a platform.

A discreet Christian learns that not every thought needs to become words.

Not every feeling needs to become action.

Not every opportunity is from God.

There is wisdom in slowing down.

There is wisdom in praying first.

There is wisdom in saying, “I need to think about that.”

Many of our worst decisions are made when we feel like we need to decide right now.

Anger says, “Say it now.”

Pride says, “Defend yourself now.”

Temptation says, “You need this now.”

Discretion says, “Slow down.”

Think.

Pray.

Let the Lord rule your spirit.

B. He Weighs the Matter

A discreet Christian doesn’t just look at one piece of a situation.

He tries to consider the whole matter.

Psalm 112:1 KJV

1 Praise ye the Lord. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, That delighteth greatly in his commandments.

So the discreet man in verse 5 is not merely cautious by personality.

He is guided by the fear of God and the Word of God.

He asks more than, “Can I do this?”

He asks, “Should I do this?”

Instead of, “Will this benefit me?”

He asks, “Will this please the Lord?”

Instead of, “Is this allowed?”

He asks, “Is this wise?”

There are many things in life that may not be directly named in Scripture, but the Bible still gives us principles to guide our affairs.

Will this feed my flesh?

Will this hurt my testimony?

Will this weaken my family?

Will this put me near temptation?

Will this help me redeem the time?

Will this honor Christ?

That is discretion.

for example…

Proverbs 18:13 KJV

13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, It is folly and shame unto him.

We live in a world that loves quick opinions.

People hear one side and make a judgment.

They read a headline and think they know the story.

They see one piece of a situation and immediately form a strong opinion.

But the Bible says it is folly and shame to answer before we hear.

Sometimes discretion says, “I don’t know enough to speak to that.”

Sometimes discretion says, “There may be more to this than I know.”

Sometimes discretion says, “I need to hear the other side.”

That’s not weakness.

That’s wisdom.

C. He Watches the Details

The definition says discretion gives serious attention and thought to what one is doing, especially to details.

A lot of trouble begins with ignored details.

A man says, “It’s just a small compromise.”

But small compromises often become large failures.

Someone says, “It’s just one conversation.”

But one conversation can open the door to gossip, bitterness, or temptation.

A young person says, “It’s just one click.”

But one click can plant something in the mind that is hard to forget.

A Christian says, “It’s just one service.”

But one neglected duty can become a pattern of distance from God.

Discretion pays attention to details because details are often where danger begins.

Ephesians 5:15 says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.”

The Christian life is a walk.

A walk is made up of steps.

One careless step may not seem like much, but enough steps take you somewhere.

Nobody ruins his life all at once.

Most of the time, he takes one unguarded step after another.

Discretion teaches us to pay attention to the steps.

The tone of voice.

The private thought.

The friendship.

The entertainment.

The spending.

The attitude.

The way we answer our family.

The way we handle correction.

The way we respond when nobody is watching.

A discreet Christian thinks carefully.

Secondly …

II. He Walks Wisely

Ephesians 5:15 says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.”

Paul is writing to believers who are to live differently because they belong to Christ.

Ephesians 5:1–2 KJV

1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Then Paul warns about fornication, uncleanness, covetousness, filthy communication, foolish talking, jesting, and the works of darkness.

Ephesians 5:8 KJV

8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

That is the setting of verse 15.

Because you are light in the Lord, walk carefully.

Because you belong to Christ, walk carefully.

Because the days are evil, walk carefully.

A. He Watches His Path

To walk circumspectly is to walk with care.

If you were crossing an icy parking lot, you would not run carelessly.

You would watch where your foot lands.

You would look for slick places.

You would move carefully.

That is how Scripture tells us to walk through this world.

Not fearfully, as though God can’t keep us.

But carefully, because danger is real.

A foolish Christian acts like he can go anywhere, watch anything, listen to anything, say anything, and still stay spiritually strong.

A wise Christian knows better.

He knows his flesh is weak.

He knows the world is pulling.

He knows the devil is subtle.

He knows temptation often comes dressed as something small and harmless.

So he watches his path.

Proverbs 4:26 KJV

26 Ponder the path of thy feet, And let all thy ways be established.

That is discretion.

Think about where this friendship is taking you.

Think about where this habit is taking you.

Think about where this attitude is taking you.

Think about where this entertainment is taking you.

Think about where this decision is taking your family.

The discreet Christian doesn’t only ask, “What am I doing?”

He asks, “Where is this leading?”

Because every path leads somewhere.

B. He Redeems His Time

Ephesians 5:16 says, “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.”

The discreet Christian understands that time is precious.

He doesn’t treat life like it is disposable.

He doesn’t assume there will always be another opportunity, another season, another year, or another chance.

Paul says the days are evil.

That means we live in a fallen world with real spiritual danger, real distraction, and real temptation.

So Paul says, “Redeeming the time.”

Make the most of what God has given.

Discretion asks, “Is this the best use of the time God has entrusted to me?”

That doesn’t mean every minute must be filled with activity.

Rest can be wise.

Family time can be wise.

Quietness can be wise.

A discreet Christian is not just busy.

There are plenty of busy fools.

Discretion is doing what matters.

It gives attention to the right things at the right time in the right way.

Some people waste time through laziness.

Some waste time through distraction.

Some waste time through worry.

Some waste time through bitterness.

Some waste time by saying yes to things God never asked them to do.

Some waste time by avoiding what God has clearly put in front of them.

A discreet Christian wants his time to count.

He wants his home to count.

He wants his service to count.

He wants his witness to count.

He wants his private walk with God to count.

So he doesn’t want to drift.

He wants to redeem the time.

C. He Seeks God’s Will

Ephesians 5:17 says, “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.”

Paul connects wisdom with understanding the will of the Lord.

A discreet Christian doesn’t merely ask, “What do I want?”

He doesn’t merely ask, “What is easiest?”

He doesn’t merely ask, “What will people think?”

He asks, “What is the will of the Lord?”

Some things about God’s will are plainly revealed.

It is always God’s will for us to obey Scripture.

It is always God’s will for us to be holy.

It is always God’s will for us to give thanks.

It is always God’s will for us to be faithful.

It is always God’s will for us to love our neighbor.

It is always God’s will for us to forgive as Christ forgave us.

So before we say, “I don’t know God’s will,” we ought to ask, “Am I obeying what God has already revealed?”

The discreet Christian begins there.

But there are also decisions where we need wisdom.

How should I handle this conversation?

Should we make this purchase?

Should I take on this responsibility?

How do I respond to this conflict?

How do I help this person without enabling wrong?

How do I show grace without compromising truth?

Those questions require discretion.

They require prayer, Scripture, counsel, and humility.

James 1:5 KJV

5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

God does not mock His children for needing wisdom.

He invites them to ask.

A discreet Christian says, “Lord, I need Your wisdom more than I need my own opinion.”

A discreet Christian thinks carefully.

A discreet Christian Walks Wisely.

Thirdly…

III. He Lives Fruitfully

Discretion is not merely avoiding trouble.

It also helps us do good in the right way.

Psalm 112 shows us that the discreet man is generous, compassionate, righteous, and steady.

Discretion does not make a person cold.

It does not make him suspicious or withdrawn.

Biblical discretion does not make us less loving.

It makes our love wiser.

A. His Kindness Is Guided

Psalm 112:5 says, “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.”

That verse holds two truths together.

He is generous, and he is discreet.

He shows favor, and he guides his affairs.

That matters because some people think kindness means never saying no.

They think love means doing whatever someone asks.

They think compassion means removing every hard consequence.

But biblical kindness is not careless.

It is thoughtful.

It is prayerful.

It looks at the whole picture.

There are times when helping someone means giving.

There are times when helping someone means listening.

There are times when helping someone means warning them.

There are times when helping someone means refusing to participate in what is hurting them.

There are times when the most loving thing you can say is, “I can’t help you do that.”

Discretion helps kindness do good instead of harm.

Parents know this is true.

A parent with no compassion can become harsh.

But a parent with compassion and no discretion can become permissive.

Godly parenting needs both tenderness and wisdom.

Churches need this.

A church without compassion becomes cold.

But a church with compassion and no discretion can become careless with truth and holiness.

Christians need this in personal relationships.

We can love people without letting them manipulate us.

We can forgive people without pretending sin is harmless.

We can help people without enabling rebellion.

That is discretion.

It guides our kindness.

B. His Testimony Is Steady

Psalm 112:7–8 7 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: His heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord. 8 His heart is established, he shall not be afraid, Until he see his desire upon his enemies.

There is a steadiness in this kind of man.

He is not ruled by fear.

His heart is fixed.

His heart is established.

Why?

Because his life is anchored in the Lord.

Discretion helps produce steadiness.

The careless person is tossed around by every new situation.

When trouble comes, he panics.

When criticism comes, he reacts.

When temptation comes, he yields.

When pressure comes, he compromises.

When rumors come, he repeats them.

But the discreet Christian has learned to slow down and look to God.

He asks, “What is true?”

“What is right?”

“What does Scripture say?”

“What would honor Christ?”

That kind of Christian becomes steady.

Not perfect.

Not emotionless.

But steady.

A discreet husband steadies a home because he doesn’t lead by impulse.

A discreet wife steadies a home because she doesn’t answer every fear with panic.

Discreet parents steady their children because they don’t discipline only out of anger or give in only out of exhaustion.

A discreet church member steadies the church because he doesn’t repeat every rumor or inflame every difference.

We need Christians whose hearts are fixed, trusting in the Lord.

C. His Choices Honor Christ

The Lord Jesus was perfectly discreet.

He always knew what to say.

He always knew when to speak and when to be silent.

He always knew when to rebuke and when to comfort.

He always did the will of His Father.

John 8:29 KJV

29 And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.

He never acted foolishly.

He never spoke carelessly.

He never confused pressure with duty.

He never mistook popularity for success.

He never let the hatred of men push Him off the Father’s will.

Even when He was falsely accused, He was not reckless with His words.

Isaiah 53:7 KJV

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, Yet he opened not his mouth: He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, So he openeth not his mouth.

That was not weakness.

That was holy restraint.

That was our Saviour walking carefully, wisely, and obediently all the way to Calvary.

And because He walked perfectly, He could die for those of us who have walked foolishly.

Every one of us has failed in discretion.

We’ve spoken when we should have been quiet.

We’ve reacted when we should have prayed.

We’ve assumed when we should have listened.

We’ve rushed when we should have waited.

We’ve been careless with time, words, attitudes, relationships, and details.

But Jesus never failed.

He walked in perfect wisdom and perfect obedience.

Then He went to the cross and paid for our sin.

He rose again.

And through Him, we can be forgiven and changed.

The goal tonight is not merely, “Try harder to be discreet.”

We do need to obey.

We do need to watch.

We do need to think.

But we need more than self-improvement.

We need Christ.

We need His Word shaping our minds.

We need His Spirit ruling our hearts.

We need His grace helping us become careful where we’ve been careless.

Conclusion

Discretion will change how we speak.

Before we answer, we’ll ask, “Is it true?”

“Is it kind?”

“Is it necessary?”

“Is it the right time?”

Discretion will change how we decide.

Before we move ahead, we’ll ask, “Have I prayed?”

“Have I searched the Scripture?”

“Have I considered where this path leads?”

Discretion will change how we use time.

Before we give another evening to distraction, we’ll ask, “Am I redeeming the time?”

Discretion will change how we help people.

Before we act, we’ll ask, “Will this truly help?”

“Am I guiding my affairs with wisdom?”

Discretion will change how we handle temptation.

Before we step closer, we’ll ask, “Where does this road end?”

Maybe tonight the Lord has shown you an area where you’ve been living too quickly.

Maybe it’s your tongue.

Maybe it’s your temper.

Maybe it’s your schedule.

Maybe it’s your spending.

Maybe it’s your entertainment.

Maybe it’s your friendships.

Maybe it’s the way you form opinions.

Maybe it’s the way you make decisions without prayer.

The answer is not to excuse it.

The answer is to bring that part of your life under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Psalm 112:5 says, “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.”

Ephesians 5:15 says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise.”

By God’s grace, let’s ask Him to make us discreet.

Not suspicious.

Not cold.

But wise.

Thoughtful.

Prayerful.

Christlike.

May the Lord help us guide our affairs with discretion and walk circumspectly in these evil days.

Are you guiding your affairs with discretion, or are your affairs guiding you?

Are you walking circumspectly, or are you drifting carelessly?

Is there an area where you need to slow down and seek the Lord?

Is there a decision you need to put under the light of Scripture?

Is there a word you need to hold back?

Is there a detail you’ve been ignoring?

The Lord is gracious.

He is calling us to wisdom because He loves us.

So tonight, ask Him for wisdom.

Ask Him for restraint.

Ask Him for a careful walk.

Ask Him to make you more like Christ.