Why We Speak

Reading from God’s Word:

Ephesians 4:14–16 CSB

14 Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit. 15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ. 16 From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part.

Introduction

Last month we began to focus on the summer quarter of our vision plan: Standing Firm in the Truth.

And we started with: “What is Truth?”

Hunter began with John 8:32.

John 8:32 CSB

32 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Truth is a person you continue with — and your transformation takes place as you walk with Jesus.

Then we spent time with John 14:6 and heard Jesus say:

John 14:6 CSB

6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Truth has a face. Truth ate breakfast and wept at a grave.

And, finally, two weeks ago, we knelt down inside Jesus’ prayer in John 17:

John 17:17 CSB

17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

Truth doesn’t just sit there being correct.

It gets ahold of you and changes you. It sets a person apart for God.

So, truth frees you. It changes you.

And so if you took only one thing away from what we covered during June, it is that the truth that the church is built on is not first a doctrine. It’s a Person — Jesus — and He is alive and at work.

Now, during July, here’s how Hunter & I plan to proceed:

If the truth is this good…

If it frees…

If it has a face…

If it changes people…

Then, how does it get out of you and into someone else?

A treasure this good doesn’t stay in one heart. It travels. It’s spoken.

And that is exactly where Paul takes us this morning.

The truth that frees you is the truth that you are called to speak.

The question is how.

And the answer is in love.

Now, let’s look again at our main text for today, Ephesians 4:14-16.

We’re going to walk through it in three steps.

First, the picture of immaturity.

Second, the hinge that changes everything.

And finally, what grows when the hinge gets turned.

The Picture of Immaturity

Now, let’s go back to v. 14 - and observe that Paul describes the immature church by what happens to it.

The little child here isn’t the subject - it’s the object. Things are being done to it.

Ephesians 4:14 CSB

14 Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit.

Tossed by the waves

Blown around by every wind of teaching.

Picture a small boat with no anchor and no rudder, out on open water, and the weather has its way with it.

A wave comes, and the boat goes that direction.

The wind shifts, the boat goes the other direction.

The boat isn’t steering.

The boat is being steered — by whatever is blowing hardest at the moment.

Every Wind of Teaching

First, we often assume that the greatest danger we face is the obvious sin in the world — temptations, appetites, and any other trouble we can name.

And yes, these are real dangers.

But that is not what Paul points to here.

What tosses an immature congregation around is teaching.

Ideas.

Persuasion.

Confident voices with a message.

Where are those voices coming from?

Ephesians 4:14 CSB

14 … by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit.

“techniques”

There is a method to it.

In the first century, this was a gambling term — referring to the manipulation of dice.

The imagery is of someone who knows how spin things and is very skilled at it.

Skilled at sounding right.

Skilled at making something false land soft and the truth sound harsh.

And the immature Christian can’t tell the difference. He or she just goes whichever way the most confident voice is pushing.

Now, think of how applicable this 2000 year old teaching is for our world today.

We are living in the most information saturated time in history.

Almost every one of us carries a device in our pocket that serves as the primary delivery system for those voices.

Every wind of teaching — piped straight to your hand — optimized to be persuasive — brought about by those genuinely skilled in the techniques of deceit.

And what Paul is pressing on here, is not where there are bad ideas out there … it is what kind of church are we?

Are we getting blown around by all of it — believing whoever spoke last — changing our shape every time the wind shifts …

Or have we grown up into something the wind can’t move?

This is the Description of Immaturity

A child believes whoever is talking.

A child can be sold most anything.

And you know, we don’t blame a 4 year old for that.

But, the whole point here is that this is a description of immaturity — and that is something we’re meant to grow out of.

And the tragedy isn’t that a local church starts here. Every church starts here.

The tragedy is a church that’s still here a generation or two later.

Still tossed. Still blown around.

Still believing whoever talked to it last.

And so the growth that was supposed to happen didn’t happen.

So, this leads us to ask: what grows a church so the wind stops moving it?

Is it “better teaching?” or “tighter doctrine?” or “stronger leaders?”

Now, those are all in the passage (look back at v. 11), he’s just listed those things…

But that is not what he lands on.

What he does land on is something every single person in this room can do.

Now, let’s look at v. 15.

Speaking the Truth in Love

Note how the verse begins:

Ephesians 4:15 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, …

Everything before “but” was the storm.

Tossed.

Blown.

Deceived.

And then, but.

In other words, here is the way out of the storm. Here’s what the wind can’t touch.

Ephesians 4:15 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, …

Now, there are two things we can’t do with this part of the verse.

We can’t turn this into a rule for good manners.

Where it becomes the thing you say just before you say something harsh.

This verse is not a license to be unkind with a spiritual coat of paint on it.

We can’t let it become an excuse to never say anything hard at all.

Love here should not be redefined as “never make anyone uncomfortable.”

There is so much more here than just the tone we use. It’s not talking about technique.

He says love is the way we:

Ephesians 4:15 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.

Love is the mechanism of growth.

A body that speaks the truth in love matures.

A body that doesn’t remains immature.

And notice, we can’t split the two apart:

truth and love.

Both words, same breath, doing the same work.

What happens when you try to keep one without the other

Truth without love.

This is a church that is right about everything and reaches no one.

All the doctrine is in order, but it has a cold heart.

Truth is used like a weapon.

It wins arguments and loses people.

It is technically correct but spiritually freezing.

The watching world looks at it and wants nothing to do with it.

Love without truth.

This is no better. In fact, it’s just nicer about being useless.

This is the congregation that is so afraid of hurting anyone, that it never says what is true to those who need to hear.

It will allow a brother/sister to walk straight off the cliff, rather than risking an awkward conversation.

It may call that “love,” but it isn’t love.

Love that won’t tell you the truth is just cowardice that’s learned to smile.

Paul has no interest in that.

This is love that has stopped being honest.

What grows a church has both of these fused together:

The truth - spoken out loud - to the person who needs to hear

and — spoken in love.

And I think this should be clarified too:

The truth we’re speaking here, is not our opinions.

This is not our preferences dressed up as doctrine.

The truth we speak is the truth we met in meeting our Savior.

Jesus, the Person, who has set us free and changed us.

Ephesians 4:15 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.

When you speak the truth to a brother/sister, what you’re really doing is holding Jesus up where he/she can see Him again.

You’re not winning a debate.

You’re handing someone the same dawn that broke over you.

This is why love has to come with it — because you’re not delivering a verdict — you’re delivering a Person who loved you first.

Everything, and I mean everything, depends on this.

The whole church, speaking the real truth, in real love.

And when we do that, look at the door that swings open:

What Grows from It?

Now, let’s look at all the action words in v. 15-16:

Ephesians 4:15–16 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ. 16 From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part.

Grow

Fitted and knit together

Every supporting ligament

Building up itself

By the proper working of each individual part.

See how the imagery has changed.

We started with a boat being tossed on the water — a thing being acted upon.

Now, we’re looking at a body — a living being — growing, every part doing its work.

And notice, the wind isn’t tossing it around.

A grown body has its own strength, its own frame, its own direction.

Three Things I Want You to See

It grows into him who is the head — Christ.

Ephesians 4:15 CSB

15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.

First .. .growth not for its own sake.

The church isn’t supposed to just get bigger, busier, or more impressive.

It’s supposed to grow up into a person.

Every truth taught, every word spoken in love, is moving the body in one direction — toward looking more like Jesus.

That’s the aim.

It’s not the building of an institution … it’s growing the body up into its head.

It is knit together.

Ephesians 4:16 CSB

16 From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, ….

You know, knitting is slow.

Not a single dramatic act.

It’s loop pulled against loop, hundreds or thousands of times over, until what was loose yarn becomes one warm thing that holds together and doesn’t come apart in the cold.

That’s what speaking the truth in love does.

Every honest, loving word is one more loop pulled tight.

You don’t feel a church getting knit together in a day.

You feel it over years — and then one day you look up and realize how your brothers and sisters are woven into your life, and you into theirs, and the whole thing holds together.

by every supporting ligament

Ephesians 4:16 CSB

16 From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, …

A body held together at the joints.

You know, there is nothing glamorous about a ligament.

Nobody I know admires your ligaments.

But, every place two bones meet — there is a ligament doing the quiet work — and without it, the whole body falls into a heap on the floor.

That’s the conversation between you and the person next to you.

That’s the quiet, unglamorous, supporting work of ordinary members speaking truth and love to each other at the joints.

It’s not the showy part of the church.

But it’s the part that holds the church together.

The Body is building itself up in love…

Ephesians 4:16 CSB

16 …promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part.

The body builds itself up.

Not the preacher or elders or programs.

The body, knit together, every part working — builds itself.

The growth of Cornerstone is not waiting for the leadership or all the people up front.

It’s waiting on you.

Ephesians 4:16 CSB

16 …, promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part.

Every part. Your part.

All of us must speak the truth, in love, to those God has set right beside us.

So, let’s put it all together.

We began today with a person who is like a boat that is getting blown around by every confident voice.

And we end with a grown body, knit tight, growing up into Christ, building itself in love, that the wind can’t move.

And what is it that gets you from the first picture to the second?

It’s people in this body who are speaking truth to each other in love.

As We Close..

Brothers and sisters: Whose growth is God waiting on you for?

Because this passage says the body builds itself up "by the proper working of each individual part," and that means there is a part only you can play.

There is someone in your life right now who needs a true word spoken in love, and you are the one positioned to speak it — maybe the only one.

Maybe it's the hard word, the one you've been avoiding because it's uncomfortable, and love means you finally say it.

Maybe it's the kind word, the encouragement you keep meaning to give and never do, and love means you stop putting it off.

Either way — the growing-up of this church is in your mouth. Not the pulpit's.

Yours. Don't wait on the leaders to do what God handed to the whole body.

And let me say that when you hear "speak the truth" it doesn’t mean “go correct everybody."

The great majority of speaking the truth in love is not confrontation.

It's the warm, ordinary, daily conversation of brothers and sisters reminding each other who Jesus is and what he's done.

It's mostly encouragement. It's mostly the loop pulled tight.

So don't walk out of here thinking your assignment is to go fix people.

Your assignment is to open your mouth — with the truth, and with love — and let God knit a body together through it.

And finally, this whole body — fitted, knit together, growing — it's all "from him."

From Christ.

None of it starts with you cleaning yourself up.

It starts with him.

The truth that Cornerstone is built on isn't a set of rules you have to pass.

It's a Person who came down into the storm of this world, who let himself be tossed by its worst waves all the way to a cross, so that you could be brought in and held.

He didn't speak the truth in love from a safe distance.

He came and got knit into us — became flesh, became one of us, became the Head of a body he died to save.

That's the love.

And the truth is: he is alive, and he is inviting you in.

You don't have to grow up first to belong.

You belong first, and you grow up inside the body, held by the rest of us, all of us growing together up into him.

If that's you this morning, the door is open. Come to Christ. Let yourself be knit in.