The Great Mystery
Notes
Transcript
Remember this:
Back in Ch. 4, Paul is imploring us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling. If you remember, that started with humility, then gentleness and patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.
Paul makes it clear that we are all part of the body, each working in the body as the Lord gave some as apostles, prophets, evangelist, teachers and pastor for the equipping of the saints
Paul would encourage us that because of that, we are not to be carried away by deceitful teaching and doctrine and that we are to grow up in Christ.
Paul would go on to explain what it looks like to put off the old self and put on the new.
Then, he goes into ch. 5, that we would imitate God as children. That would include be being filled with the Spirit
Today, we get to see what that looks like, a life that is being filled with the Holy Spirit and to walk according to the Spirit. And what we see is that in these relationships of marriage, the family, and employment, God always calls one party to submit, but also gives responsibility and accountability to the other.
Illustration:
At a men’s group, all the men were pleased to see Gerald, a newcomer to the group. Gerald looked like he was in his early 70’s, and since no one really knew who he was the leader of the group began to ask Gerald questions to get to know him.
“So Gerald, are you married?” The leader asked.
“Oh yes,” Gerald responded. “In fact, we will be celebrating 50 years in a few months.”
Everyone was excited to hear this and started clapping for Gerald and congratulating him. The leader of the group, wanting to really get Gerald involved asked, “Can you maybe give us some advice on how your marriage has been so successful.” Gerald thought for a second, but then he was ready to answer.
“Of course, things haven’t always been good, especially the first half of our marriage. We went through some really difficult situations and things looked shaky for a while. Would be lying if I told you we never thought of doing the other in several times. But we made it through, and for our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to visit some of her relatives in Ireland and see the beautiful country side they have. Since then, everything has been fantastic!!” Everyone in the group were amazed to hear what Gerald was saying. So the group leader chimed in one more time.
“Wow, Gerald, that is amazing. What a way to blessing for you to take your wife to Ireland for your 25th. That is setting the bar pretty high. Can you tell us, what do you have planned for your 50th?”
Gerald nodded. “Of course I can tell you. I’m going to Ireland to pick her back up.”
All joking aside, sometimes that is how we have approached our marriages, because marriage isn’t easy. It is the most difficult thing you will ever be a part of. But what we will see today, is that God has a specific plan for marriage that promotes unity, both in your marriage and in the body of Christ.
Now before we begin, I want you to consider several things:
Remember what we read in Ephesians 4:4-7
4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling;
5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
7 But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.
God has called everyone of us to be a part of His Kingdom, whether you are male or female, slave or free, Jew or Gentile. We are all part of the body of Christ.
However, each has been given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Meaning, God has given us all gifts and callings within the body of Christ. When we stay within our callings, the body operates as it was intended. Marriage is no exception to the rule.
V.22
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Wives:
Speaking to those who are married!!
Quick Note: 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 talks about those who are married have extra concern
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;
33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
When we talk about different roles in the body of Christ, it is to always promote and encourage unity, not division
This is especially true for marriage, that here, roles are defined to promote oneness and unity.
be subject to your own husband:
Interesting note, the actual word for submit (hypotasso) is not here in this verse.
However, the way it is written is referring back to v.21. Where the whole thing would read “Submit to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives to your own husband as to the Lord.” This is a carry on from v.21, in the context of the body of Christ, in the fear of the Lord.
What we see here, wives are to submit themselves, or come underneath the authority, of their husband.
Notice further… Own husband… not some one elses, not to another man, but to your own husband, the man that belongs to you, and you to him.
Submit= to come underneath
As to the Lord:
In the sense that when the Lord is leading us, the things He has told us, the places He is telling us to go, that we would fall in under His authority in those things.
First and foremost, it is a submission to the Lord, He is the first one we submit to. Then it is your own husband.
If your husband tells you something contrary to the what the Lord has said, you obey the Lord first.
But no way around this scripture… When we walk according to the Spirit, then wives, you will submit to your husbands.
Why is this so hard to do? This was part of the curse we see in Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
Desire, or the word means to want to overtake, or overpower. So written into the fabric of this flesh that was born into the nature of Adam, is the unwillingness to submit, but rather, to over take your own husband
V.23
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
This echoe, or maybe better explained, in 1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.
This isn’t to be little anyone, nor define them as inferior, but the husband is the head of his household, as Christ is the head of the church.
This is family structure in the Spirit… as children of God
He Himself:
Christ is the Savior, not your husband
No need to view him nor treat him as such
V.24
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Paul reiterates, as the Church is to Christ, you are to be with your Husband
V.25
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
love your wives:
“Agape”- same love as we see in 1 Corinthians 13
A deeper definition: Just as Christ
These are BIG shoes to fill, may I say, impossible.
How has Christ loved us?
Gave Himself up for her:
Repeats Ephesians 5:2
2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Best place to start gentlemen is in Philippians 2:3-8
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
What conditions are required for your wife?
NONE… that is how Christ loves us. I think of Romans 8:38-39
38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Husbands, this is your calling, this is what it looks like to live a Spirit filled life.
We cannot do it on our own, we need the Spirit everyday, every moment to be able to do this.
Even when she is rebellious, disobedient, and difficult, our call is to love as Christ loves His church.
Why would I do that? Why would I continue to love her, give myself up for her even at her worst? (Go to the next verse.)
V.26
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
So that He might sanctify her:
It is the love and grace of Christ that sanctifies His bride!!
Not her performance, not her behavior, not what she does, but He sanctifies the church.
Husbands, your love for your wife has a direct effect on her spiritual life, her walk with the Lord… her sanctification.
Your love is so that she would be sanctified, set apart, to be holy.
When you choose to give up yourself for her, this becomes the deepest and most meaningful act of discipleship you will ever partake in.
How do we practically do this?
Cleansed her by the washing of water with the word:
How does this work?
3 “You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
17 “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.
God’s word is cleansing, it purifies us. I think of Psalm 119:9
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word.
But don’t forget what we have already read in Ephesians 5:19
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
Husbands, speak to your wife this way.
Then there is Ephesians 4:29
29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
This should help you husbands in how you communicate with your wife.
This is important in light of 1 Peter 3:7
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
In order to wash your wife in the water of the word, that means you need to especially know the word.
Why is this important?
V.27
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
Present in all her glory:
We haven’t had to worry about presenting ourselves in glory to the Lord, He does that through the word, through Him sanctifying us.
In the same way, husbands, this is what we get to do with our wives, to see them presented before the Lord, pure, no spot or wrinkle, that she would be holy and blameless
We are the priest of our family. You set the spiritual tone for what becomes of them.
Can they do this without you?
Absolutley, because this is ultimatley what the Lord is doing, not you.
But you are called into this, you have a responsibility as a husband
V.28
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
So husbands:
Because this is what the Lord has done for His church, you husbands ought to LOVE YOUR OWN WIFE!!
How?
as their own body
What is the best way to build self esteem? Love your wife.
He who loves his own wife loves himself;
V.29-30
New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 5
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
No one ever hated his own flesh:
This is a reality many people ignore
Our problem in this world is not that we have loved our selves too little, it is that we have loved ourselves above all else.
We nourish our bodies with food we like
We cherish our bodies by what we wear, activities we do
This is what the Lord does for the church.
So husbands, you ought to nourish and cherish your wife as Christ does His church.
We are members of His body:
This is why it is so important, because we are all members of the body
Before we are a married couple, we are brothers and sisters in the Lord, we are all part of His body, therefore, we all have a part to play in the church. When you mistreat your wife, when you neglect her, speak poorly to her… you are doing that to the body of Christ.
And when one member suffers, the whole body suffers.
V.31
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
The reason for all of this is unity, it is oneness in the Lord.
When we have a hard time with this, we need to remember this. God established this as a means to promote oneness between man and wife.
V.32
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Marriage is always a mystery
I always joke about the fact I knew everything about marriage when I was still single, then I got married, and now it is all a mystery to me.
But the mystery isn’t about me and my wife at all… it is Christ and the church.
There are some things we will never understand, but to even get close to this mystery, God has welcomed us in through the institution of marriage.
I don’t care where your marriage is right now, it is the closest to heaven you will ever experience on this earth.
V.33
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Even with that mystery, we have responsibilities here:
To love and respect
This is what it looks like to be filled with the Spirit in your marriage.
If you want to walk, or live, according to the Spirit, this is what it will look like. And to successfullly do it, we can’t do it in our flesh, we need the Spirit.
