Biblical Marriage - Husbands
Notes
Transcript
Good morning
I dreamed last night that I had to make a thousand pancakes.
I was tossing and turning all night!
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. We live in the greatest country in the world. God has blessed the United States of America in great ways!
Today we are going to be in Ephesians 5:25-33.
Last week we looked at how the wife was supposed to submit to her own husband. This is not like a slave to a master, but like the church submits to Christ’s authority. As a church, we have certain things that Jesus has commanded us to do, like meeting together, fellowshipping with each other, discipling, edifying one another and other things. He has also given us a lot of freedom in the things that we do. It is the same with the wife and the husband. Jesus is not a harsh dictator over the church and the husband should not be one to his wife. The wife should respect her husband and the decision’s that he makes for the family. It is really hard preaching about wives, since I am not one! I don’t feel like I am qualified to tell a woman how to be a good wife, but hopefully what was said last week lined up with what God teaches.
Today, is a lot easier for me because I are one. Today we are looking at the husband and how he is to love his wife.
I believe that when Paul was teaching about the roles of the husband and wife, he was thinking about Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you shall deliver children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
Because of sin and its curse, the woman will want to be lord over her husband and husbands will rule as in having dominion, or as a ruler, king.
Sin and its curse ruined the perfect union of marriage that God had given to man. But, if both the husband and the wife are constantly being filled with the Spirit, the world can see a beautiful picture of Christ and the church.
Winston Churchill joke.
Are you ready men?
Please stand as we prepare to read God’s Word.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are parts of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Paul tells us right out of the gate, we are to love our wives. That sounds simple enough. He doesn’t stop there, he tells us our example of love we are to follow, as Christ love the church and gave Himself up for her! Not so easy!
To be able to love like Christ did, we have to define that love so we know what we are supposed to do. We can find that definition in the Bible, how convient!
1 If I speak with the tongues of mankind and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may glory, but do not have love, it does me no good.
4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Now that we have a definition, I expect every husband to love his wife perfectly!! LOL
What Paul spoke here in Corinthians, that is how Jesus loves us. That is how we are to love our wives!
Go through the list.
Paul give us three types of love specifically that we are to us as we love our wives.
We are to love our wives with a sacrificial love
We are to love our wives with a sanctifying love
Finally we are to love our wives with a satisfying love.
Let’s take a deeper look at these three.
Sacrificial love
Jacob so loved Racheal that he sacrificially worked 14 years for her! True Christian love is not selfish. Men, we are selfish by nature. We want to do what we want to do, One of the hardest things for a man to do is to go shopping with his wife! When we go shopping, when we see something that we like, we get it and we are done, women have to look at everything just in case there is something better! Women, know that when your husband goes shopping with you, he is sacrificing for you!
Warren Wiersbe said it well. “ If a husband is submitted to Christ and filled with the Spirit, his sacrificial love will be willing to pay a price that she might be able to serve Christ in the home and glorify Him.
Jesus’ love is a Golgotha love. Jesus was scourged. His hands and feet were nailed to the tree. A spear was thrust into His side. A crown of thorns was placed on His head - all because He love the church.
Christ’s sacrificial love is a foot washing love. His headship is our example. He came to serve, even though He was the head. We can see in Christ authority coupled with unparalleled humility and love.
Men, marriage is a call to die!
Dying to self may involve sacrificing your schedule and even good ambitions. It means giving yourself away for the good of your bride. It involves crucifying your flesh and resolving to be faithful to your bride, not yielding to the temptations of lust, anger, and pride.
There was the couple who were in bed one night and a tornado came through and ripped the roof off the house and lifted there bed up into the storm. They were swirling around in the storm and the wife began to cry. The husband shouted this is not time to cry! She said these are tears of joy, we haven’t been out together at night in 20 years!
Men, don’t let this be the case in your marriages! Take you wife out. Treat to a special meal, let her pick the place. Ask her what she would like to do and then do that, don’t modify it into something you would like better.
Marriage is a call to serve. Christlike love takes initiative. Don’t be a passive husband. Love your wife actively. Christlike love involves not just service but also an appropriate Christlike attitude in serving. Philippians 2:5-11
5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross. 9 For this reason also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
We can never fully understand what Jesus gave up to come to earth and take the form of a man and walk this earth, to be put to death in the worst possible way, all because He loved the church!
Sanctifying love.
The word sanctify means to set apart. In the marriage ceremony, the husband and wife are set apart for each other. Any interference with this God-given arrangement is sin. Today, Christ is cleansing His church through the ministry of His Word. The love for the wife ought to be cleansing her so that both are becoming more like Christ. The husband is not to use his wife for his own pleasure, but rather is to show the king of love that is mutually rewarding and sanctifying. The marriage experience is one of constant growth when Christ is the Lord and head of the home. Love always enlarges and enriches, while selfishness does just he opposite.
In verse 26 Paul mentions washing with water. There was a Jewish marriage custom that on the marriage day, the bride would get up early and take a bath with the brides maids. This would signify her cleansing away her past and she would put on here bridal dress and await the groom.
How does this apply to us men? Glad you asked
While a husband cannot atone for sins or cleanse anyone, there is a since in which Christ’s sanctifying work is a pattern for husbands. Practically, we should love our wives in a way to help her grow in likeness to Christ. Here is the question: “ Is our wife more like Christ because she is married to us? Or, is she like Christ in spite of us?”
Men, we are to be concerned with our wives spiritual well-being. Be in the Word personally. Talk to her about the Word. Know how your wife is doing in the practice of spiritual disciplines, in her service to the church, and in her relationships. Care for here soul! Do you know here fears, her hopes, her dreams, what are her temptations and her disappointments? Shepherd her faithfully!
Men and women, marriage is work! If you are not working at it, it is failing!
Satisfying love
Paul refers back to creation here in verses 28-31. Love you wife like you love your own body. Husbands are to provide, nourish, and care for his bride, just like you care for yourself.
Paul references Genesis 2:24
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
This may sound self-serving for the husband or demeaning to the wives, but that is not the case. This makes perfect sense in light of the fact that we have become one flesh. Just as you long to satisfy your own needs, husbands, satisfy your wife’s needs. Just as you long for intimacy, joy, security, health, peace, companionship, and community, provide these things for you wife as well.
Husbands, how are you doing at nourishing your wife? Are you physically nourishing her? Are you cherishing her? Are you admiring her and complimenting her?
Exalting Jesus in Ephesians Spirit-Filled Husbands (5:25–33)
I’ll never forget one particular example of this type of love. Wayne Grudem, world-renowned theologian, was on faculty at Trinity University for 20 years. He served with scholars like D. A. Carson and Douglas Moo. They were the “Seal Team Six of Professors.” But his wife suffered from fibromyalgia, a disease that causes pain to many muscle groups and for which there is no known cure. She had a difficult time walking up stairs and doing household work. They had prayed and tried everything, but there was no relief. Her pain was aggravated by cold weather and humidity. Chicago was not the most ideal place for her to live.
Some friends invited the Grudems to Mesa, Arizona, for vacation, and they learned that the warm dry climate was wonderfully helpful. They made a few trips and even rode bikes together there for first time in 12 years. Dr. Grudem told his bride, “I would like to move here, but there are no seminaries.” A few days later they were flipping through the Yellow Pages and found Phoenix Seminary. Dr. Grudem called and asked if the school had any openings. The school was interested.
After much prayer and thought, Dr. Grudem began pondering the implications of
Exalting Jesus in Ephesians Spirit-Filled Husbands (5:25–33)
Husband, love your wife as your own body, even if it means sacrificing your career dreams. Nourish her. Cherish her.
God ordained marriage. Christ set the pattern for marriage. The Spirit empowers marriage.
The good news of the gospel is that Christ died for those who could not keep demands perfectly. And the good news is that the Spirit daily renews us and empowers us as we look to Christ for grace and mercy. This whole passage should cause us to rest and rejoice in our great groom, Jesus Christ.
Exalting Jesus in Ephesians Spirit-Filled Husbands (5:25–33)
Spurgeon said of His love:
This love of Christ is the most amazing thing under Heaven, if not in Heaven itself. How often have I said to you that if I had heard that Christ pitied us, I could understand it. If I had heard that Christ had mercy upon us, I could comprehend it. But when it is written that he actually loves us, that is quite another and a much more extraordinary thing! Love between mortal and mortal is quite natural and comprehensible, but love between the Infinite God and us poor sinful finite creatures, though conceivable in one sense, is utterly inconceivable in another. Who can grasp such an idea? Who can fully understand it? Especially when it comes in this form—“HE” (read it in large capitals) “loved me, and gave Himself for me”—this is the miracle of miracles!
Exalting Jesus in Ephesians Spirit-Filled Husbands (5:25–33)
Dwell on the love of Christ daily, as you seek to live out a Spirit-filled marriage.
Let’s pray
