A Spirit Filled Home
Notes
Transcript
As we continue through this part of scripture, I want us to remember what the focus is:
1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called,
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,
We are learning to walk in a manner worthy of our calling, the starting point humility
15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ,
We are growing up in Christ, this is why the Church was given the gifts and the callings
Then in V.22-24, we are putting off the old self and putting on the new, and that is what we are learning to do through this last part of Ephesians
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
We are imitating God, as children of God
Finally, Ephesians 5:18
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
What does a Spirit filled life look like?
In these relationships of marriage, home, and the workplace, God always calls one party to submit. But as one submits, the other party is always given responsibility and accountability in their calling
Last week:
We looked at the Spirit filled life in marriage
That wives will submit to their own husbands, and that husbands are given the responsibility and accountability to love their wives as Christ loves His church
And Paul calls this a mystery, but the mystery is Christ and His church, and what a blessing that through marriage, we get insight into this mystery.
Today, we get to talk about the relationships at home, between the children and the parents. And the same pattern holds true, that children are called to submit, and parents are given the responsibility and accountabilty to not provoke them to anger, but bring them up in the Lord.
Illustration:
Years ago, when I was being raised by my own parents, many people were very impressed by how my parents had raised their children. Six kids, they were all respectful, we were all obedient. It was Christmas day, we were at my Aunt and Uncles playing with our cousins, having a great time, and all of a sudden, I hear my dad whistle and say the dreaded words… “Heist kids, get in the van.” We all knew what that meant, it was time to go. What was odd was it seemed pretty early in the day, but reluctantly, we all piled into the van and sat there waiting for our parents. It wasn’t anything new for us to have to wait a few minutes before our parents got there, but this time around, we were in the van for a good hour before we did rock paper scissors to see who would go get our parents. Finally, one of my brothers went in, and when he came back, he told us we weren’t leaving. So to our delighted surprise, we all got out of the van and resumed where we had left off, no questions asked. Little did we know, my dad had been talking to some of our uncles and wanted to show them how he could get us kids to do anything, and sent us all to the van with no intention of leaving. We laugh about it now, and it still comes up every now and then, but it is a comical reminder that in the Spirit, we have accountability and responsibility to not provoke our kids to anger, even if you can get them to do whatever you want. Today, we will learn more of that.
Children and Parents (V.1-4)
V.1
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Children:
The word here is “teknon”
The word in this context would indicate a young child, one that you are still raising
Obey:
To hear, to listen
Brings us back to Proverbs 1:8-9
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching;
9 Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck.
Then again in Proverbs 3:1-2
1 My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments;
2 For length of days and years of life And peace they will add to you.
And the purpose of parenting wrapped up in Proverbs 6:20-23
20 My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother;
21 Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck.
22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.
23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life
In the Lord:
I like how the NLT says this “because you belong to the Lord”
Also, the Complete Jewish Bible says “what you should do in union with the Lord”
These capture the heart and context of Paul… the life that is continuously being filled with the Spirit… or in other words, a Spirit filled life
Which means, children are included in being filled with the Spirit
But let have the right perspective here too… A gifted child is very different from a Spirit filled child. Spirit filled doesn’t look like a child prodigy who can play a guitar or belt out a perfect tune.
A spirit filled child will be one that obeys their parents
And obeying your parents is not easy, just ask my kids, but as a child, you will need the filling of the Spirit, the power of the Spirit to help you do this. You cannot do it on your own.
For this is right:
This isn’t to simply put rules on you… it is right.
The word here in the greek means righteous, it is just
So when a kid says, “that isn’t fair,” or asks their parent “Why?”, the simplest and spirit filled answer will always be, because it is right, it is just for you to obey.
I will answer this the same way wives are called to submit. “In the Lord”… you first submit to the Lord, so if you are being told to do something that is clearly against God, you obey Him first
One that comes up in families… If I take the kids to do something that mommy wouldn’t approve, do I tell them to lie to her? No way. I’ve heard my sons talk about how we will cover up our tracks after getting an ice cream before dinner. I have to butt in… “We do not lie to mommy.”
Children… do not lie to your mom, even if your dad tells you to. Because we already read in Ephesians 4:25 that we need to put off lying.
Naturally the question will come up… Does a child need to obey their parents no matter what?
V.2
New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 6
2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),
3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.
Honor your Father and Mother:
To honor goes beyond childhood, and goes into adulthood.
A child is called to obey, an adult is called to honor
When does a child go from “obeying” to “honoring”?
Every culture is different on adulthood, when children become autonomous from their parents.
Here in the US, a person can vote at 18, they can drive at 16, and they can begin to legally consume alcohol at 21. Further more, in our state, a 13 year old can start making medical decisions without their parents consent, and even have an abortion without notifying the parents if pregnant before that age.
And that is just here in our country, we would be here all day to discuss all the different cultures and beliefs that define things differently.
Let me put this out to you, just a few verses ago we in Ephesians 5:31 we see that when a man gets married, he is to leave his father and mother. At the very least, this is when I would define in biblical terms that a child converts from obeying to honoring.
What does it mean to honor?
The word means to value, to support
Jesus gives us insight to this as He is rebuking the Pharisees in Matthew 15:3-6
3 And He answered and said to them, “Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?
4 “For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’
5 “But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God,”
6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
First, honoring would mean not speaking evil of your parents
Second, honoring would be taking care of your parents in their time of need.
In this scripture in Matthew, Jesus is pointing out that instead of taking care of the needs of their parents, that they would make excuses and say that the provisions for their parents belonged to the Lord, and therefore, the parents would not get any help from their kids, but rather, it would go to the priests and the temple.
Paul would also make a point of this in 1 Timothy 5:4
4 but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.
Then he follows up in 1 Timothy 5:8
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
This is the spirit filled life, that we would honor our parents, that we would not speak evil of our parents and take care of them in their time of need.
First commandment with a promise:
Doing this comes with a promise
It may be well with you
and, live long on the earth
When we listen to our parents, when we honor them, we have so much more peace.
I see a generation who is mad and angry all the time and cancelling their parents. They aren’t happy, they aren’t peaceful. It is not well with them,
When we follow our parents advice, when we honor them, you will live longer.
Why? Because you learn from them, instead of trying to figure it out on your own, you just take their word for it.
Was every child who dies at an early age disobedient? No
Know this, that this promise was made to the children of Israel, as they would be going into the promised land. That those who obey and honor would be blessed by the Lord. And the principle here holds for us today.
But what about children who die early? I love what Warren Wiersbe says about this:
“Sin always robs us; obedience always enriches us”
When we obey, our life is enriched. Even in this fallen world, which may take life earlier than expected, obedience will enrich the years we have on this earth.
V.4
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Fathers:
Or the word can be translated “parents”
word in greek is “pater”, which we get the word paternity from.
Refers to the authority in the family
Generally the father, but can easily be applied to the mother as well
do not provoke to anger:
Kids will get angry with you as you set boundaries and discipline. This is not provoking, or exasperating.
How do we provoke to anger?
unreasonable demands
petty rules
favoritism (Isaac and Rebekah)
The Spirit will never lead us to provoke our children to anger in this way.
BUT…
Bring them up
the word means to rear up, nourish.
Which means we are to physically and spiritually nourish our children
How do we do this?
Discipline of the Lord
Training
We read more about this in Hebrews 12:5-11
5 and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, Nor faint when you are reproved by Him;
6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.
11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
We discipline out of love… from the Spirit
When the Lord disciplines us, its because He is looking for the transformation taking place. It is to see us grow and mature, to become more like Him in all that we do.
This is what our discipline should aim for, not because we are mad or disappointed, but we are looking for the transformation in our kids, from rebellious to obeying, from naughty to prudent, from self destructive, to constructive.
Instruction of the Lord
Or, to admonish… to counsel
We see this in Proverbs 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
We are also told in Proverbs 19:18
18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.
We have the responsibility to admonish, counsel our children. We can not abdicate this responsibilty to anyone else. The Spirit filled life will hold you both accountable and responsible in your home.
This is where parents need to be careful, especially when it comes to the body of Christ. We have a fleshly tendency for our Sunday School teachers and youth pastors to be the spiritual leaders and instruction for our children. But this is not the Spirit filled life. YOU parents, are responsible for this, no one else.
This is why we have our children’s program here the way we do. We teach our kids from a great curriculum… but the purpose of our children ministry is so you can be fed, they can be loved and have fun, then you all get to go home equipped and ready for your responsibilities.
Conclusion:
SO you might be wondering… I don’t have kids, I’ve already been there, done that. Why does this apply to me.
First, this is part of the Spirit filled life, what it looks like to be filled with the Spirit, to walk and live by the Spirit. To do this God’s way, we need the Holy Spirit to guide us and direct us, to give us the strength and wisdom to do this His way, not ours.
Secondly, This is all part of the body of Christ. We have a part to play, and you may need to counsel someone who needs to know these things. So now, your advice will come from truth and a Biblical foundation, not your fleshly experience.
Lastly, Notice the relationships Paul is talking about. First, marriage. We are the Bride of Christ, the church, collectively. You personally are not the Bride, but being part of the church, yes you are. Then children and parents. When we talk about individual relationships with God, it is as children. So individually, we are the children of God. We get to see clearly how the Lord is toward us as our Father, even when we have failed or our earthly fathers have, we have a Father in heaven who will not provoke us ot anger, but raise us up in Him. And then next week, we will talk about workers in the workforce, or, as bondslaves of God, to see how this would relate as His workmanship created for good works here on this earth.
