Worthy Marriage
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Household codes
Specific application of “Be careful how you live” and “live a life worthy the calling you have received”
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Sandwiched between being filled with the Spirit and Spiritual warfare
Emphasizing the difficulty of this task
Wives, Submit to Your Husbands
Wives, Submit to Your Husbands
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Structure
Structure
Command: Submit
Reason: Husband is head
Example: Christ is head of the church
Commendation: Submit in everything
Submit
Submit
At the heart of understanding this text is understanding the idea of “submit”
“Place under,” “subordinate”
It is a word that denotes willing cooperation with authority
Task oriented
The term creates a hierarchy of authority not a hierarchy of value
It carries the implications that husbands must lead – it is impossible to submit to someone who is not leading
Controversy
Controversy
With the rise of feminism, the command for women to submit to their husbands has been resisted
The idea behind the resistance is that men and women are equal and submission inherently introduces inequality into the relationship
As a result, some interpret submission as mutual rather than hierarchal
I neither want to ignore this controversy and jump into the practical instruction of the text nor get bogged down in it and miss out on the richness of our text, so this morning we will start by briefly dealing with the controversy and then move into what this text means and how it is relevant to us.
Mutual submission
Mutual submission
Feminist position: v. 21 calls for believers to submit to one another; therefore, husbands should submit to wives as well as wives submitting to husbands
This defines submission as something more or less identical to “love” when the NT authors command the church to “love one another”
Problems with the feminist approach
This is one in a series of relationships – the other two clearly entail a level of authority (Parents/Children, Masters/servants)
The submission in v. 21 does not require all submission to be identical
The word “submit” carries with it ideas of order and authority
The word “submit” clearly entails authority throughout the NT
To Christ
1 Cor 15:27 “27 For he “has put everything under his feet.” Now when it says that “everything” has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ.”
To government
Ro 13:1 “1 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”
To your elders
1 Pet 5:5 “5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’”
To church leadership
Heb 13:17 “17 Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.”
To faithful servants of the Lord
1 Cor 16:15-16 “15 You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they have devoted themselves to the service of the Lord’s people. I urge you, brothers and sisters, 16 to submit to such people and to everyone who joins in the work and labors at it.”
To God
Jas 4:7 “7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
So, v. 21 is calling Christians to be submissive people who submit to those who have God-given authority (state, church leaders, employers)
Purpose of v. 21 – serves as a heading for the following passages
Conclusion
Conclusion
This passage gives timeless, gender-differentiated instruction to husbands and wives that includes hierarchy of authority without including hierarchy of value
To modern ears, authority carries with it ideas of abuse and exploitation, but like most things this is a satanic perversion of a created good
From the beginning, Satan attacks God’s authority
Practically
Practically
A necessary ally
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
A complement to his weaknesses
Supportive of his leadership
Support is not a job for the weak (foundation)
Building him up
While authority is a good gift of God it does require some limitations
Limitations
Limitations
Submit not obey
Authority is delegated not absolute
Submission to the Lord supersedes submission to husbands
“Your own husbands” not “all men”
Submission should not result in personal harm
We must be careful here. Disagreement is not harm.
Abuse
There are God given leaders the husband is called to submit to who must address abuse
Church
State
Abuse is a rejection of God’s plan for marriage
It is good to recognize the boundaries of submission, but there is no greater boundary than the expectations placed on men.
Husbands, Love Your Wives
Husbands, Love Your Wives
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The instruction to wives feels backwards to modern ears, but the most historically counter-culture aspect of the text is actually the instruction to men who are not to treat their wives as property to be used, but are to sacrifce for them and cherish them.
Two Examples
Two Examples
Christ and the Church
What does that look like?
His own body – one flesh
What does that look like?
Practically
Practically
Be a leader
Complementary gender roles in marriage aren’t about men being from mars and women from Venus, are a joyful partnership of God-given authority
Take initiative
Headship is most healthily demonstrated when it focuses on leadership rather than decision making
Suffer on her behalf
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Work for her sanctification
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Nurture and care for her
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.
Prefer her needs to your own
Be united with her
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Husbands and wives working with cooperation that acknowledges God-given responsibility work together to be a gospel witness through their marriage
Couples, Display the Gospel
Couples, Display the Gospel
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
We have talked about Ephesians two part structure – doctrine and application. However, this two part structure forms one whole – the gospel shapes our lives and our lives display the gospel.
Both the instructions to men and women are grounded the relationship of Christ and his bride.
Our marriages are an opportunity to display this wonderful good news
To those with bad experience
To those with bad experience
We live in a fallen world so this often doesn’t work out the way it should. Marriage is a picture of something bigger – even when the picture is ugly the reality is beautiful
Ugly pictures of a beautiful person
Look at Jesus the perfect example of sacrificial authority and submit to him
o Lord my rock and my Redee,er
