The Best Question Ever

Title: The Best Question Ever or The Wisest Question Ever

As your pastor, I really believe that your best days are not behind you; they are right in front of you. If you choose.

But I also know that for many of us, when we look in the rearview mirror of our lives, it’s not always a pretty sight.

Let’s be honest, every one of us has done some things in the course of our lives that we look back on and say, “What was I thinking?”

We’ve all had those moments where we look at a past relationship, a financial blunder, or a career move and we just shake our heads. We wish we could go back and rewrite the story.

We see now, with the benefit of hindsight, that we were headed down the wrong path. But the truth is, in the heat of the moment, we weren’t trying to ruin our lives. We thought we were doing the right thing. We were just “following our hearts.”

But here’s what I’ve learned: Your heart can lie to you. Your emotions can lead you off a cliff. And that is why better decisions lead to fewer regrets.

Today, I want to give you a single question, that has the power to change the trajectory of your life. If you learn to ask this question before you post, before you purchase, before you date, and before you react, you will save yourself a lifetime of heartache.

Pastor Andy Stanley: The single most important question you can ask to make better decisions and experience fewer regrets is:

"What is the wise thing to do?"

Ephesians 5:15–17 NIV

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Ephesians 5:15 NIV

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,

The first thing I want you to notice is that word “careful.” In the Greek, it’s the word akribos, which means “perfectly, accurately, or diligently.” Paul is saying: Don’t just coast. Don’t just let life happen to you. Don't live accidentally.

The opposite of being "careful" is being mindless. Mindless decision-making is the silent killer of God’s plan for your life.

It’s like the "drift." Have you ever been to the beach and you get in the ocean, and you’re just treading water, enjoying the sun? You aren't swimming away, you’re just floating. But twenty minutes later, you look up at the shore and you’re 200 yards away from your umbrella. You didn't try to go there. You drifted there.

That is what happens when we make decisions mindlessly. We don't wake up and say, "I think I'll destroy my marriage today." We just mindlessly stop investing in it. We don't say, "I want to be in $50,000 of debt." We just mindlessly swipe the card.

Mindless living always leads to a destination you didn't choose.

That’s why Paul says, "Be very careful." Wake up! Stop asking "Is this wrong?" and start asking "Is this wise?"

Ephesians 5:16 NIV

16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Opportunity is translated time in the ESV / Making the best use of the time.

The average daily screen time for teenagers is about 7.5 to 8.5 hours for entertainment, while U.S. adults average 7 hours. These figures exclude screen time used for schoolwork or their professional jobs.

Is that wise? What could we have done with that time?

Ephesians 5:17 NIV

17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Paul sets up a contrast here. He doesn’t say the choice is between "good and bad" or even "legal and illegal." He says the choice is between wise and foolish.

Most of the things that mess up our lives aren’t necessarily "sins" in the beginning.

They are just "unwise." You didn't "sin" by buying that car you couldn't afford; you were just unwise. You didn't "sin" by staying up until 2:00 AM scrolling on your phone; it just wasn't wise.

So how do we change that? By doing something different.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Narcotics Anonymous

The Three Lenses of Wisdom

To help us apply this, I want to give you three "Considerations." If you want to know what the wise thing to do is, you have to look through three different lenses. Then ask yourself a question. Now why are questions so important?

Quote from Clay Christensen, a professor at Harvard Business School

“Questions are places in your mind where answers fit. If you haven’t asked the question, the answer has nowhere to go. It hits your mind and bounces right off. You have to ask the question—you have to want to know—in order to open up the space for the answer to fit.” - Clay Christensen

The Three Lenses of Wisdom

1. Consider the Past

The Question: “In light of your past experience, what is the wise thing to do?”

We all have a "track record." We have certain tendencies. Some of us are prone to people-pleasing. Some of us struggle with our tempers. Some of us have a "type" when it comes to dating that always ends in a disaster.

Wisdom says: Look back before you move forward.

Example: Let's say you struggled with alcohol in the past. You’ve been sober for five years. Someone invites you to a late-night party where you know there’s going to be a lot of heavy drinking. Is it a "sin" to go to a party? Maybe not. But in light of your past experience, is it the wise thing to do? For you, the answer is "No."

Or maybe it’s relational. You have a history of being "rescued" by people who ultimately control you. You meet someone new. They seem great, but there are those same old red flags. Stop. In light of your past experience, what is the wise thing to do? Wisdom is the ability to see around the corner because you’ve been down this street before.

Your past is a wise school teacher. Don't ignore the lessons you've already paid for with your own tears and regrets.

2. Consider the Present

The Question: “In light of my current circumstances, what is the wise thing to do?”

This is about your "season." What is true about your life right now?

What might be wise for one person in one season might be unwise for another.

Think of a young father. Who is offered a promotion that comes with a significant raise but requires him to be on the road four days a week. It isn't "sinful" to take the job. It is a "good" opportunity. But if he sat down and asked the question: "In light of my current circumstances, I have a three-year-old and a newborn, my wife is exhausted, and our marriage is in a season that needs attention. What is the wise thing to do?"

If he turns the job down. People will think he is crazy. But he isn't crazy; he is wise. He knows that "making the most of every opportunity" (Ephesians 5:16) doesn't mean grabbing every dollar; it means capturing the valuable time with his family that he will never get back.

What are your circumstances today? Are you grieving? Are you exhausted? Are you flourishing? Your "Yes" and your "No" should be filtered through the reality of your current state. Don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary circumstance. Ask: "In light of where I am right now, what is the wise thing to do?"

3. Consider the Future

The Question: “In light of my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing to do?”

You become "visionary." Everyone ends up somewhere, but few people end up somewhere on purpose.

Think about where you want to be in 10 years. What do you want your marriage to look like? What do you want your relationship with your kids to look like? What do you want your walk with God to look like?

Example: You’re a student in college. You have the dream of being a top-tier professional or a leader in the church. But on Tuesday nights, everyone is going out and partying. You have an exam on Wednesday. In the moment, it seems fun and you don’t want to experience FOMO. But in light of your future hopes and dreams, is it wise to prioritize a temporary "fun time" over your long-term goal?

Wisdom sacrifices the "now" for the "next."

Takeaway

"Wisdom is the bridge between the life you have and the life God promised."

You can’t pray your way out of a problem you behaved your way into. God loves you, but He won't make your decisions for you. He gives you the Spirit of Wisdom, but you have to walk in it.

Be careful how you live. Don't be foolish. Ask the question “Is this the wise thing to do?”

The Invitation

As we close today, I want to talk to those of you who realize that you’ve been making "foolish" decisions for a long time. Maybe you’ve been trying to navigate the ocean of life without a compass, and you’ve realized you are far, far away from where you want to be.

The biggest "What was I thinking?" moment any of us can have is trying to live life without the One who created us.

We talked today about "What is the wise thing to do?" Let me tell you: The wisest decision you will ever make is to surrender your life to Jesus Christ.

The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. You can’t even start being truly wise until you get right with the Source of Wisdom. Jesus didn't come to just give you a better "decision-making process." He came to give you a new life. He died on a cross for every "unwise" thing you’ve ever done. Every sin, every mistake, every regret. So that you could be forgiven and start fresh.

If you’re tired of the drift, if you’re tired of the regrets, and you want to put your life in the hands of the One who loves you more than anyone else, I want to give you that opportunity right now.