The Finish Line Begins Here

Healing from Hurt: The Wisdom of Proverbs

Bible Passage: Proverbs 14:10, Proverbs 23:17, Proverbs 24:17

It has been awhile but with big money races we have been doing a series on Proverbs and the wisdom we can gain from it. Remember that Proverbs was written by Solomon and Solomon was asked by God what he would wish for if God would grant him one wish. He wished for wisdom. Solomon was granted this wish and was given wisdom and recorded that wisdom for us to learn from in Proverbs. The last time we talked about Proverbs we talked about pain. How we need to avoid letting pain drive what we do. We looked at Job and how when everything feel apart he remained faithful through the hurt and trials of this life. We talked about the discernment and how having your heart right is a key for having spiritual discernment. Today we are going to continue with Proverbs and continue with the pain of this world. I know exactly what you’re thinking, isn’t the Bible called “Good News” why are we talking about pain again? Well because the world sucks and we must be able to hold fast to God’s Word and remain strong in our faith when the world attacks. To be like Job.

I am going to start today with a question. Has someone sinned against you and hurt you?

We have all fallen short and sinned against God right? We have all sinned, but what about when someone sins against us?

1. Heartfelt Hurts Understood

Proverbs 14:10 “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.”

How would you describe where your heart is right now? Hurt, wayward, found, full, bitter, rebellious? Let’s look at bitterness. Who here has been hurt by a stranger? Who here has been hurt by a friend or family member? Which one hurts more? The hurt that was cause by a stranger could be way worse than by someone close to you but any hurt from someone close to you will always hurt worse even if it’s small because of the relationship with them and the affection you have for them. If you get double bulbed or burned down by a stranger that’s no big deal, sure you might sit there a little bit longer but you won’t confront them about it afterwards right? If a close friend or family member double bulbs you though you are probably going to say something about it. Same thing but one hurts differently. The people we love and care for the most are usually who we are going to be bitter to the most.

Let’s look at that verse again. What it’s saying is simple a bitter heart has no joy. When you start focusing on all the wrong in your life and the hurts, loss, unforgiving, keeping a record of wrongs you will find yourself enjoying less and less because your heart is bitter. Have you ever seen someone who even when good things happen they aren’t happy? They are just so bitter nothing can bring them joy and it isn’t because God hasn’t provided for them externally but rather because they have no forgiveness and only bitterness internally.

Example, what if I won the diamond Wally this year and you go well I don’t care because I had a bad light. You would tell me who cares what your light is because look at what you are taking home.

If you didn’t see my light you would’ve just seen the results which is the trophy. The reaction time is something internal. If you are so bitter about something internal you can and will ruin what God has blessed you with externally.

2. Hope Over Hatred

Proverbs 23:17 “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.”

Who here has said to themselves why do they get to do that and nothing happened? I might as well do that too. They hurt me, I am going to hurt them. That envy builds up inside of us and it just turns into this dark cloud in our lives. We can’t do that though. When you feel that dark cloud coming up take it to the light. What happens on mornings of really heavy fog? It’s hard to see, everything gets wet. Shoot car accident’s happen. I almost had that happen to me. I was driving to work in a deep fog and was going to pass someone. As soon as I got into the other lane a semi was coming my way. I swerved back over and obviously I made it through. How many of us are in that fog? Can’t see and that moisture is just soaking into everything in our lives. We are just trying to make it through. That moisture is bitterness and the fog is sin. What happens to the fog when the sun comes up? It goes away or lightens up and allows us to see. The same goes for us when we live in fear of the Lord. We must allow God to come in and be that light in our lives. We have talked before about how to fear God doesn’t mean to hide in the corner but rather change our actions out of love for Him just as a child changes how they act out of fear of letting their parents down. Back to the fog, what do the weather folks say when the fog is really thick? They go there is a really heavy fog, sin is heavy. It clouds our lives, the hurt others do to us clouds can weigh us down and affect how we act. That is why we must continue to live for God and allow our fear for Him dictate how we live our lives.

Jesus was sent to be the light to the world and removed that fog. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Forgiveness Frees Us

Proverbs 24:17 “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles,”

The Bible doesn’t hide the fact that in our lives we will have enemies. Shoot ask any veteran that has served in an active combat situation. If they gave their enemy a chance they would harm them. The same goes for us. We will have people in our lives that if given the chance would love to take us down. Shoot what do we say about everyone here? They are family until my helmet goes on and they are in the other lane. We know one thing, they are going to try and take us out when we are on that track. There will be people that would be fine taking you out in many different ways financially, physically (look at Charlie Kirk), and spiritually. We will have people go against us. Jesus says that we are to still forgive those people and to bless them. Blessing is the true test of forgiveness. If we can’t bless them the heart is still bitter and we haven’t truly forgiven them.

Who has heard this saying before? I told you so. Or who could’ve seen this coming? You should’ve listened to me.

That is rejoicing when someone falls, enemy or not. That is not forgiveness. Forgiveness can be wrapped up in these 5 things.

It is NOT between you and that person it is between you and the Lord.

It is a one time event and an on going process. Who remembers how many times Jesus says we are to forgive someone? He said 70x7 is how many times we are to forgive someone. It is a one time event that is a process because that person might still be hurting us or that the pain is still there. We might feel fine in the moment then a week later that pain comes back. It is an on going process. Who has a pain in their lives that you think you are past then just randomly on a Thursday afternoon you are reminded of it? You haven’t unforgiven that hurt but it needs to be continued to be forgiven.

Not enabling a crime, foolishness, irresponsibility, or sin. Forgiveness is not a blank check to bless or allow your foolish and/or foolish behavior. Forgiveness can be given in a moment but trust is earned overtime. My dad could break my motorcycle and I can forgive him but that doesn’t mean I am going to pay his entry fee or let him warm my bike up again. Joseph could watch something wrong on YouTube and I could forgive him for it but that doesn’t mean he will be able to watch YouTube right away again. Forgiveness can be given in an instant but trust is earned.

Forgiveness is NOT trust or reconciliation. You can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean that you have to trust them or even reconcile with them. If you wrong this track they might forgive you but that doesn’t mean they have to let you back. It is a choice because we have freewill. Forgiving is not trust. I could come up to Zade here and say hey Zade let me run your car today. He would say no, because he doesn’t trust me. Rude. Just like if Zade came up to me and asked to race my bike. I would say no, because I don’t trust him on it. Plus his parents would probably say you know this Jesus guy well you’re going to meet him. I don’t have anything against Zade and he doesn’t have anything against me, or at least I think, but trust is earned. So again forgiveness and trust are two different things.

Our forgiveness is not God’s forgiveness. When we forgive someone that doesn’t mean that God will. Our forgiveness is for us and our hearts. When we forgive we are simply handing the case over to God for Him to judge because after all we will all stand before God to be judged. We here this so much as Christians, I thought you Christians weren’t supposed to judge people? They are right. Our job isn’t to judge, that’s God’s so when we are wronged we are to forgive and hand the case over to God. Calling out sin isn’t judging though so don’t get those mixed.

Okay we know what forgiveness is.

Responding to Jesus instead of the person who hurt you. When someone hurts you, you can either react to them or respond to Him. We can act outwards or we can act and look upwards. We all wear helmets when we race right? Does that help our vision or hinder it? It hinders it. Then some racers hinder it even more by putting blinders on our visors so we can only see one thing. Well we do that when we get hurt also. Who here has put the blinder on so all we see is that hurt. When we get hurt it is important to lift the visor and take the helmet off. How many of you have left the helmet and visor on and focused on that hurt and reacted. Reacted on them and it just made everything worse. Responding to Him makes it better.

Forgiveness is choosing to be both a forgiven and a forgiving person. We are told in Colossians and Ephesians to forgive others as God in Christ has forgiven us. It was a gift given to us from God and we need to determine if we are going to share this gift that God has given us through Jesus. Again, through Jesus Christ we are a forgiven person and because of that we need to be a forgiving person. The crazy part is that is primarily to help maintain a healthy relationship with God whether or not the relationship with that person is healed.

Forgiveness is transferring the burden to God so we no longer need to carry it. Some of you have things in your past that are just too heavy for you. Shoot I know family members that is 100% the case and they are struggling trying to carry that burden. A wrong was done, the person won’t apologize and they don’t even acknowledge the hurt that was done. Forgiveness is transferring that over to God. Jesus tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Who knows what a yoke is? No not an egg yoke. A yoke is what they put on an ox when they were plowing fields. Jesus is saying to give Him our yoke that is heavy and take His yoke which is light. Forgiveness allows us to shed our weight and move forward.

Forgiveness is ceasing to control the outcome of events. I know myself personally I have been unwilling to forgive until certain things happened. They has to apologize, own it, remedy it, and see what they did to me. I wouldn’t forgive them until that happened according to the way I wanted it to. Forgiveness is supposed to be put at the starting line and trust God for the outcome. We want to be in control. Shoot, when I talk to people about why they race cars over a motorcycle they say because it is easier to control and they are right. We want to be in control and have forgiveness at the finish line. When we put it at the starting line though we give up that control and give it to God. When we are refusing to forgive we are trusting ourselves with our outcome more than we are trusting God with our future and that He will do good in our lives.

Forgiveness is how we let go of sin and stress to heal spiritually, emotionally and physically. When you forgive you allow bitterness to leave your heart and allow the Holy Spirit to come in and flow through your heart. The Holy Spirit is about forgiveness. Healing the heart allows your mind to renew and that will help renew your joy. Who here has been so hurt and bitter it causes stress and has gotten so angry their gut hurts. Forgiveness allows God to heal those things on the inside and let’s us live on the outside.

There are two categories to forgiveness. Repentance of your sin and forgiveness of their sin and I want to use an illustration on this. Think of a bike, you got a pedal on each side. You can just push on one but it won’t get you very far. If you want to get ahead you have to use both pedals. You have to be willing and able to repent of your sins and forgive others of their sins against you in order to move forward.

If you are ready to move forward and ready to forgive start with prayer and truly letting that bitterness leave and letting the Holy Spirit come in.

Ezekiel 36:26 “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

If this time in God’s Word has stirred something inside of you and there is a hurt in your life you are done carrying God wants you to give it to him. All your hurts that you aren’t meant to carry. It is time to shed them. The sins that you have committed it is time to ask God for forgiveness. It is time to remove the bitterness and the heart of stone and receive the heart of flesh and allow the Holy Spirit to come in and work. It is time to be healed. Join me in prayer.