Order Or Chaos?

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

1. The first thing we need to do is ask a question!

WHY DOES SCRIPTURE SAY THIS? WHY DOES SCRIPTURE TEACH THIS?

i. Because there is a major attack on marriages!

1Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? 2And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: 3But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. 4And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. 6And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

8And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. 9And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? 10And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. 11And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. 13And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. (Genesis 3:1-13)

ii. It is a Divine institution created by God!

18Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit fore him.” (Genesis 2:18)

In the big picture it is important that marriages work! And God wants marriages to work!

Scripture teaches this for many reasons!

iii. To counteract the effects of the fall!

Jesus came to reverse the effects of the fall!

12Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned...15But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. 

This is why there is healing in the Name of Jesus! This is why there is deliverance in the Name of Jesus! This is why there is salvation in the Name of Jesus!

Where the Word of God is there is divine order, but where the Word of God is not there is chaos!

iv. To protect the testimony of believers and the church!

31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33)

v. To protect the individuals of a family!

2. The first instruction we see is given to the women!

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Here are some of the reasons that this is so difficult to even preach or receive!

The culture, the worlds system especially today, and the sin nature has a big influence to fight against this teaching!

i. The first reason for this is because we have what we can call “The equality syndrome!”

For a long time women felt bellittled and overlooked! And in reality they are and were never meant to be belittled and overlooked! Because of this there was a fighting back so to speak! A fight for equality! I can see to some degree where this is ok, but i can also see where this can and has gotten out of hand and present problems!

You see, it is ok in the sense that God created women to be equal to man!

It is not ok when it comes to 2 things. First of all when women take this and go to the extreme and all of a sudden find themselves wanting to be ruling over and greater then men!

The second issue is when equality is used to rule the scripture out!

IF I SUBMIT TO MAN AS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE SPIRITUALLY THEN THAT MEANS I AM INFERIOR AND LESS THAN AND NOT EQUAL! THAT IS STRAIGHT FROM THE DEVIL!

What does it mean to submit?

Not go get me a drink!

The man is meant to be the spiritual guide and leader of his home!

The women is meant to trust the man and follow his leadership according to the Word of God!

Where this is not done and where this is not submitted to there will be chaos!

I and my Father are one. (John 10:30)

In Him dwelt the fullness of the Godhead bodily!

5Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: 10That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; 11And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11)

ii. The ruling-over syndrome!

16Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16) DESIRE SHALL BE CONTRARY!

Who wears the pants in the house!

Jezebel spirit!

30When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it. And she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window. 31And as Jehu entered the gate, she said, “Is it peace, you Zimri, murderer of your master?” 32And he lifted up his face to the window and said, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked out at him. 33He said, “Throw her down.” So they threw her down.

iii. The excuse syndrome!

Well my husband isnt doing like he should be! My husband isnt loving me like Christ loved the church! My husband isnt living out the Word of God like He is supposed too!

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. (1 Peter 3:1-6)

Tell the story of the pastor that counseled a couple!

3. The second instruction we see is given to the men!

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

i. The woman is less than me syndrome!

Macho egotistical attitude which even takes scripture out of context!

When a husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church he will do everything to:

a. First of all protect His wife!

God protects His church! No enemy getting in here!

b. Second of all nurish and help the growth of His wife!

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

c. Third of all look past the faults of His wife!

While we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly!

She is not doing what she should be doing!

Man i cant believe she is treating you like that!

There is a reason that scripture says love covers a multitude of sins!

JESUS WASHING HIS DISCIPLES FEET IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE! THE WIFE SUBMITS BUT THE HUSBAND HUMBLY SERVES WITH LOVE!

THE BIG PROBLEM!

31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

You want to get advice thats fine. You want someone to vent to thats fine. Just make sure the one you are gettng advice from is lead of the Word of God!

4. What do you want; order or chaos?

33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)