Love is Patient and Kind

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is Patient

Besides the word patient not being actually pronounced the way it is spelled what else do you know about it?

What does, “Love is Patient” mean?

Give me some examples?

Holding back anger?

Oh man my friend has real patience. He gets so mad that he about blows his top but hes able to count to 10 and meditate and hold back the anger. Is this really patience?

Rushing into a relationship because we really love someone? Going from relationship to relationship because we fear being alone.

What do you think the time span is between active dating teenagers relationships?

The average time for actively dating teenagers between relationships is 1 to 2 weeks. This is due to social media and teenage cultural overlap where teens often lose interest in a current relationship because of time spent talking, texting, and being active on social media with someone else. This often leads to only having days or a week between relationships.

Impatience is not a characteristic or sign of Love… Impatience is actually a sign of the lack of love.

How Do You Get Patience?

Is patience something we can learn? Why or why not?

Patience cannot be learned. If you love you have it.

What do you think is at the heart of patience? How is Love patient?

Tell the story of the burned baby...

Darin Hufford has a great illustration in his book “The God’s Honest Truth.” Here it is.

Imagine you are in an emergency room and a 1 year old child comes in who has spilled boiling water down their entire body by pulling the hot pot off of the stove. They are covered in third degree burns and as you but the clothes from their body you can see their flesh literally falling off of their body because of the severity of their burns.

My question is this: What do you think the chances are of you losing your patience with this child screaming? Do you think in your mind you would be wondering why this kids mother isn’t controlling her kid? Why?

Patience Comes From Understanding

You can see with your eyes why this child is screaming. And because you understand the circumstances you do not get annoyed at the screams.

Love looks beyond the surface and gets to the heart of a person.

People who lack patience are blind to the heart.

Patience cares for the heart. A good father doesn’t lose patience for his child while teaching them how to ride a bike because they know that patience will protect their child. Helping them learn fully and safely will lead them to ride well and safely. The same with driving. A good driving teaching is patient because they want what is best for their student and for the safety of the people driving around them.

God is Patient

If God where to talk to you right now. What do you think He would say to you or talk to you about?

For some of us we feel like God is waiting on us to straighten up or get our act together. Maybe He is just being patient with us because we are so far off of his path. In other words he’s not happy with us.

If God is patient what does He really think about us?

What if I said, “You are fully known by God”. Would that change your perspective in light of what we just talked about before? Explain?

Love is patient because love sees past everything and gets straight to the heart.

It isn’t leaving or going anywhere. It’s not chatting with another person and getting ready to move on. God is in this with you for the long run.

Let me say that this way, God is Love and is patient because he sees past all your outside “stuff” and He understands your heart.

That is the part of you that He is in love with. Within the heart lies the truth of who you really are… and He loves who you really are.

Love is Kind

What is kindness? Give me some examples?

(check and challenge is the kindness brought up has ulterior motives and is manipulative.)

What do you think is the counterfeit of Kindness? In other words, the devil likes to take the things of God and twist them to mimic the truth but actually disguise the evil in it. So, how does the devil counterfeit kindness?

When someone does something nice for you, what do you often ask them? (What do you want from me?)

Why would you ask that question?

A lot of the time we get skeptical of a person if they start treating us kindly. We ask, “What are they trying prove or what are they trying to get from me?”

We’ve all heard the saying that “You don’t get something for nothing!” “Everything in this life comes with a price.”

In fact sometimes we pay the price in relationships for this counterfeit by staying in abusive relationships or being friends with someone who uses you all in the name of a loving relationship/friendship.

I have heard people in deeply abusive relationships justify staying in that relationship becuase the other person “REALLY LOVES them.”

The Counterfeit of Kindness is Manipulation

True loving kindness doesn’t have strings attached.

Kindness just is. It doesn’t expect anything in return. It aims at the heart of the person it is directed toward.

Love lasts forever and therefore true kindness lasts forever.

You remember the thing someone did for you out of just pure kindness.

Kindness with strings attached dies with the payback.

This is the main difference between being nice and being kind.

Does anyone want to take a stab at the difference between being nice and being kind? Or doing an “act” of kindness versus being kind to someone.

Think of a dating situation. The guy tells the girl that she’s cute and nice and he would like to take her on a date. Those are really nice things to say but does he know her heart?

It’s important not to be blinded by kind acts or niceness. True kindness knows that heart and always lands there without asking for anything in return.

Does anyone remember the ending of the movie “Up?” When Old Man Carl shows up to Russel’s badge ceremony. Why did that mean so much to Russel? Does anyone remember the campfire scene when Russel tells his story? Carl could understand Russel’s heart and his longing to have someone show up for him. Especially a father figure. Carl could have just went on with his life but he choose to show true love and kindness to Russel. He showed up and gave him the greatest honor he could have ever given him.

Carl understood and knew Russel’s heart. He gave him the greatest act of kindness without wanting anything in return.

Kindness is always aimed at the heart and wants nothing in return.

God is Kind

How do you think this translates to the statement God is kind?

Biggest take away of God is Kind: God never expects anything from you in order for you to receive his blessings and kindness in your life.

You can’t give enough money to earn God’s kindness.

You can’t pray hard enough to earn God’s kindness.

You can’t preach enough to your friends for their salvation to earn God’s kindness.

You can’t read your bible enough in order to get God’s kindness.

You can’t do anything to make God bless you more than He already plans on blessing you.

Now, are anything of those things wrong or things you then shouldn’t do? NO!!!!! Because of God’s kindness toward us we should want to do those things.

God is compelled in one direction when He looks at his children. He is drawn to their hearts. He knows exactly how you need Him to bless you and He want’s to bless His children.

On top of this He never blesses you or shows you kindness to get you to do something for Him. His kindness has no strings attached. He just wants your heart. It’s the center of His attention in his relationship with you.

Can and should we respond to God’s kindness? YES!!! How could we not worship Him and serve Him more when we know that His aim is always our heart and He is an expert marksman.

Now, our stupid selfish ways can get in the way of that. We often set ourselves up for failure. But don’t blame that on God. He wants to bless you and will bless you. Simply because he knows your heart and he loves you!

God’s aim is to get to your heart and in that act of kindness He wants to give you His!