Forgiving Freely

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 17 Forgiveness

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make ammends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all

Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

What Does It Mean To Forgive?

The Anchor Yale Bible Dictionary Forgiveness (New Testament)

aphiēmi (“to forgive”) and aphesis (“forgiveness,” “release”).

Legal terms are used to convey “remission (cancellation) of financial debt”

Matthew 18:23–35 CSB

23 “For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him. 25 Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. 26 “At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan. 28 “That servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, ‘Pay what you owe!’ 29 “At this, his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ 30 But he wasn’t willing. Instead, he went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed. 31 When the other servants saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. 32 Then, after he had summoned him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart.”

The Anchor Yale Bible Dictionary Forgiveness (New Testament)

Luke seems to use apoluō (“to loose from, dismiss, pardon”)

Forgiveness carries with it the idea of a complete release of the offender. Ceasing to feel resentment for wrongs or offenses.

The Call to Forgiveness Begins with God’s Forgiveness of Us

Ephesians 4:32 CSB

32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Colossians 3:12–13 CSB

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.

Just like the Jesus’s parable about the servant with a lot of debt, we’ve been forgiven a tremendous debt.

I believe this is something that is easy to drift from as we endure the harshness of this world on our Christian journey

We must remember the immense debt that we accrued before we were declared free and released from the consequence of that debt.

We are being asked that because we have been forgiven such a tremendous debt, we should forgive the tiny debt that someone has against us.

Matthew 10:8 CSB

8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you received, freely give.

What Forgiveness Is

A refusal to harbor hate or resentment

A commitment to pursue reconciliation where possible

A release of the debt that they owe you (How many tears will it take to prove they’re sorry?)

What Forgiveness Is Not

Pretending that you did not experience hurt

Immediately Trusting the offender

A removal of consequences (Numbers 14:18 but he will by no means clear the guilty)

Allowing Continued Abuse

How to Forgive

Admit The Hurt Honestly

You cannot forgive what you refuse to acknowledge

Jeremiah 6:14 NLT

14 They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace.

Surrender Your Right To Revenge

Forgiveness hands the case over to God’s courtroom

Romans 12:19 CSB

19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.

Decide to Forgive Even If Your Emotions Lag Behind

Forgiveness is a choice before it becomes a feeling

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is an act of the will.

Pray For the Offender

Prayer softens the heart and aligns it with God’s mercy

Matthew 5:44 CSB

44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Seek Reconciliation When Appropriate

Forgiveness opens the door. Reconciliation walks through it.

The ultimate goal of forgiveness is to restore harmony to a fractured relationship

Insert “laundry list of reasons why I can’t forgive”

Don’t you know what they did to me?

My Part

Ask yourself “What part of my resentment against another is my responsibility.”

Two sides to every coin

Hurt People Hurt People

Take accountability and make amends except when doing so would cause more harm than good

Have You Accepted God’s Forgiveness? Have You Forgiven Others Who Have Hurt You? Have You Forgiven Yourself? Have You Made Amends with God?

Since this is ground zero, this is where we need to start. I make no assumptions in this room. One of the world’s greatest tragedies will be those who faithfully attended church for their entire life and yet not once did they actually experience new life. Hearing on that faithful day “depart from me, I never knew you”. This is completely avoidable. All it takes is a commitment today to put your trust in Jesus.

John 3:16 CSB

16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

You must “release” and “let go” of the pain of the past harm and abuse caused by others. Until you release it and forgive it, it will continue to hold you prisoner.

Romans 12:17–18 CSB

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. It is not for you to enact judgement or vengeance on the world. Let God do His job and you stick to yours.

Isaiah 1:18–19 CSB

18 “Come, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are crimson red, they will be like wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land.

Romans 8:1 CSB

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus,

Last of all, when considering my part, I want you to consider all of the things that you hold God accountable for. In what ways have you hurt God and accused him of things that are not true. Today is the perfect day to address any one of these issues.