NBBC SS: 2 Samuel 19

Introduction: As we come to this chapter, there’s a sense of relief.

The threat of Absalom has been addressed.

Yet, as 2 Samuel 18 concluded, we also approach it in the context of the grief of the king - his son has died. So far, we’re advised of three of David’s children that have died: his first child with Bathsheba in infancy, Amnon at the hands of Absalom, and now Absalom.

Plus this is a man who has been on the run for his life from his own family. I can only imagine how David must have felt with his adrenaline running as he went from camp to camp to only now have the threat resolved and his emotions catch up with him.

In our passage today, we’re going to reflect on David’s emotions and their impact on his returning soldiers.

There are also going to be characters along the way that are going to resurface from other accounts and bring closure to their interactions with David.

Finally, though the passage is going to end with the safe restoration of the king, there are still loose ends to be tied up that threat the unity of the kingdom.

On account of the length of this passage, we may not be able to treat everything but I hope that if you have a question that lingers that you’ll reach out to me and arrange a time to sit down and talk through these things in even more detail.

2 Samuel 19 “1 Then it was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourns for Absalom.” 2 The victory that day was turned to mourning for all the people, for the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” 3 So the people went by stealth into the city that day, as people who are humiliated steal away when they flee in battle. 4 The king covered his face and cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

If you had to summarize these first few verses, what would be the stand out theme phrase of statement of these verses?

“the king is weeping and mourns … the king is grieved …the king covered his face and cried out [loudly for] … Absalom.”

We could summarize it as, “the king mourns Absalom.”

How might we come to this conclusion?

2 Samuel 18 concludes with the king mourning.

Joab is sought to confront the king since it is evidently a problem (cf. 2 Samuel 19:1).

Because Joab is sought, the people are evidently talking about the king’s mourning (cf. 2 Samuel 19:1-2).

2 Samuel 19:4 gives us another instance of the king loudly and, likely, publicly mourning his son.

If Joab is sought to intervene, what is the problem here?

The king is only mourning and not doing anything else.

He’s not leading the people from where he is.

He’s not preparing to head back to Jerusalem to govern the people once more as their king.

In other words, brothers and sisters, king David is overcome by his emotions.

And, you know what brothers and sisters, this is understandable.

Think about it.

This guy had to flee at a moment’s notice when he was told that his own son was headed to claim the kingdom with and armed retinue.

I’ve never been on the run for my life but I can only imagine how exhausting it was for David, let alone to have folks like Shimei taunt and mock him in the lowest of his circumstances.

It’s truly no wonder that this guy not only grieved the son he loved but was probably so exhausted that the flood of emotions that had built up over time finally overwhelmed poor David.

Brothers and sisters, this is not an injunction against grieving or being overcome by emotion.

The Scriptures admonish us to grieve in hope (cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:14).

David’s problem was not grieving.

His problem was only grieving and not doing anything else.

And, brothers and sisters, the emotion does not only have to be grief to be overwhelmed by it and do nothing.

It could really be any of our emotions.

What then should be our response when our emotions are so overwhelming that we feel as if we cannot do anything but express our feelings?

Psalm 147:3 “3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”

Brothers and sisters, we seek the One to Whom is attributed these actions to not only sustain us through our grief but to empower us to continue to live to please Him through His Word and to be faithful in what He’s give us to do.

Notice, brothers and sisters, was the king the only one stalled by his emotions?

No he was not.

The people were also impacted by the king’s emotions.

Their joy had been turned to mourning.

We can almost imagine these warriors as they came from the battle trying to sneak past the tent of the king so as to avoid the king seeing them and making the king’s emotional state worse because their victory meant the king’s loss.

The phrase that comes to mind is, “walking on eggshells.”

They know that their presence can, “set the king off,” because of how emotionally volatile he is at present.

Brothers and sisters, this is the effect that unchecked emotions can have on others.

It can take joy out of life.

It can make things miserable for them.

And I’m nearly sure that we all can think of times where our mood soured the mood of those around us, even our family members.

Additionally, brothers and sisters, if we’re going to live in such a way as our emotions are influencing others to be faithful, we must live reliant on the Holy Spirit to help us.

It’s no wonder that Paul opens Galatians 5 with the admonition to live our lives dependent on the Holy Spirit to help us to live to please the Lord (cf. Gal 5:16).

Then he goes on to identify the fruit of a life lived in dependence on the Lord that includes items that recall emotional stability: joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control (cf. Gal 5:22-23).

Brothers and sisters, if we’re going to live in such a way as our emotions testify of the Lord at work in us and influences them towards faithfulness, we must depend on the Holy Spirit.

Otherwise, like David, even when we’re at our weakness, we will be subject to the direction of our emotions rather than the Spirit.

Notice what Joab warns David of in the next section.

5 Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, 6 by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. 7 “Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” 8 So the king arose and sat in the gate. When they told all the people, saying, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate,” then all the people came before the king. Now Israel had fled, each to his tent.

For all of Joab’s faults, some we have reflected on, I believe that Joab is spot on here.

Joab essentially accuses David of siding with his own enemies, making the sacrifices of his own soldiers meaningless.

However, notice the danger that Joab advises the king of here.

He suggests that David will permanently damage his relationship with the people that the Lord has called him to serve.

Brothers and sisters, what Joab is identifying here is that in addition to uncontrolled emotions making things difficult for those around us, it can also destroy relationships that we have with others.

This is obvious because uncontrolled emotional responses make it unpleasant for someone to be around another, especially if that person is receiving the brunt of those emotions.

Since you don’t know how that person will act, it requires such an heightened alertness that is difficult to permanently maintain and makes it further undesirable to remain around that person.

What I find compelling here is David’s response.

First, David does not challenge Joab’s assessment, suggesting that David knows that his uncontrolled emotional response was wrong.

Additionally, David’s quick action implies that, though David was king, he was humble enough to submit to sound advice.

Moreover, since the action concerned the people that served David, particularly in dangerous circumstances, David wanted to do the right thing by them as quickly as he could, thus suggesting his desire to be righteous.

In other words, brothers and sisters, David humbly received confrontation and acted upon it to be faithful in what the Lord had given him to do.

Brothers and sisters, how do you respond to confrontation?

I must admit, there are times where I can feel myself internally bristle at confrontation.

This happened to me recently.

The Lord granted to me a kindness that day when I was led to ask myself, “Why am I bristling at this?”

Next, I thought, “I should be eager to learn from this (and any) circumstance because I still need to grow to become more like the Lord.”

The truth is, we all have areas of spiritual development that need working on.

When your brother or sister make an observation about one such area in your life, acknowledge the wrong, receive it humbly, and act on it out of a heart that wants to please the Lord.

When it comes from your brother or sister, remember that they want you to succeed in becoming more like Jesus.

While I’m so thankful that David was able to return to what the Lord had given him to do, notice that the verse suggests to us that it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Israel had fled, each to his tent.” (cf. 2 Sam 19:8).

In other words, the people were divided still on account of Absalom.

And David was the one to reunite them again.

Notice how this works itself out in the people.

9 All the people were quarreling throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “The king delivered us from the hand of our enemies and saved us from the hand of the Philistines, but now he has fled out of the land from Absalom. 10 “However, Absalom, whom we anointed over us, has died in battle. Now then, why are you silent about bringing the king back?”

What’s really fascinating here is that we have no reference to David’s intervention in these two verses.

Instead, what do these verses chronicle?

The discussions among the leadership of Israel.

The impression that I get from their discussion is that they’re just confused.

David, the king, delivered them from their enemies but fled from Absalom.

This is confusing because the king is a mighty warrior.

Yet, when it came to his son, he didn’t stand up to him.

But, they anointed Absalom as king and he died.

Therefore, the only anointed king left is David - so, let’s go with him!

What does their discussion sound like?

Like they were relying on the reason!

We need an anointed king to deliver us from our enemies and David is the only one left!

Does this not ring a bell, like the people may have said this before?

1 Samuel 8:20 “20 that we also may be like all the nations, that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.””

Brothers and sisters, the people of Israel have not learned!

They are continuing to trust their reason!

And, their reason tells them that they need someone to fight their battles and protect them.

They’re not relying on the Lord.

They’re reasoning is sound.

But they’re reasoning got them into trouble with Saul.

It will continue to get them into trouble, as it will us.

Brothers and sisters, the Lord may be leading our reasoning but we can’t determine that without seeking Him first of all.

If we want to live to please the Lord in all our choices, we’ve got to seek him.

And seeking Him means praying to Him and opening up His Word.

Unfortunately, the people of Israel did neither of these things.

But, they did choose to reinstate David as their king.

Next, let’s look at the other half of the nation and how David interacts with them.

11 Then King David sent to Zadok and Abiathar the priests, saying, “Speak to the elders of Judah, saying, ‘Why are you the last to bring the king back to his house, since the word of all Israel has come to the king, even to his house? 12 ‘You are my brothers; you are my bone and my flesh. Why then should you be the last to bring back the king?’ 13 “Say to Amasa, ‘Are you not my bone and my flesh? May God do so to me, and more also, if you will not be commander of the army before me continually in place of Joab.’ ” 14 Thus he turned the hearts of all the men of Judah as one man, so that they sent word to the king, saying, “Return, you and all your servants.”

What does David indicate is the issue here?

Silence from his own tribesman.

Israel has spoken but not Judah.

If your own family isn’t speaking to you, then you know that it isn’t good.

So, what would be the issue between David and his tribe?

They made Absalom king.

They mustered up a military force to support Absalom’s administration.

So the question is, how is David going to address this divide between his tribe and him?

In addition to emphasizing their close familial ties, he also points to the example of the other tribes.

They have accepted him.

Therefore, so should Judah.

And, significantly, the decision of the other tribes came not by force but through a unified choice.

Hence, peacefully.

Though they had relied on what seemed most reasonable to them.

Further, David made a promise about his restored administration.

He advised that Amasa would serve as the military leader in place of Joab.

From this, I’m sure that a ton of questions come to mind.

What about Joab?

Joab, unfortunately, has failed to prove himself trustworthy.

He sought to deceive David in 2 Samuel 14.

He directly disobeyed David’s order concerning the treatment of Absalom in 2 Samuel 18.

So, it would make sense that Joab would be relieved of some of his authority.

Importantly, the text does not specifically state the reason for this choice.

Why Amasa?

Importantly, Amasa was Absalom’s military commander (2 Sam 17:25; cousin of Absalom; nephew of David).

Of course, this brings up, why would David make this offer to Amasa if the latter was his enemy?

If you make the military leader of the rebel force part of your administration, what is it that you have effectively done?

Pardoned his rebellion!

And, the effect of this action extends the pardon to any who rebelled (Wiersbe).

And, brothers and sisters, the passage reminds us that David was effective in this!

Brothers and sisters, what I believe we see David doing here is seeking to make peace so that he can promote unity among the people.

Paul expresses this in one way in Ephesians 4:3 “3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Insofar as we can peacefully promote unity among ourselves without compromise of God’s Word, let’s eagerly do so as David demonstrates and Paul reminds us.

What’s fascinating is that in the next section, David is going to receive three opportunities to exercise royal prerogative that are going to be interesting to consider.

15 The king then returned and came as far as the Jordan. And Judah came to Gilgal in order to go to meet the king, to bring the king across the Jordan. 16 Then Shimei the son of Gera, the Benjamite who was from Bahurim, hurried and came down with the men of Judah to meet King David. 17 There were a thousand men of Benjamin with him, with Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, and his fifteen sons and his twenty servants with him; and they rushed to the Jordan before the king. 18 Then they kept crossing the ford to bring over the king’s household, and to do what was good in his sight. And Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king as he was about to cross the Jordan. 19 So he said to the king, “Let not my lord consider me guilty, nor remember what your servant did wrong on the day when my lord the king came out from Jerusalem, so that the king would take it to heart. 20 “For your servant knows that I have sinned; therefore behold, I have come today, the first of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.” 21 But Abishai the son of Zeruiah said, “Should not Shimei be put to death for this, because he cursed the Lord’s anointed?” 22 David then said, “What have I to do with you, O sons of Zeruiah, that you should this day be an adversary to me? Should any man be put to death in Israel today? For do I not know that I am king over Israel today?” 23 The king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” Thus the king swore to him.

While there might be a temptation to skip ahead to Shimei’s demise in 2 Kings 2, let’s focus on what David does in this passage.

How would you summarize David’s actions that he undertook here?

He demonstrated mercy.

I’ll admit, Shimei’s behavior is suspect.

The guy asks for mercy before he confesses his sin.

In other words, he’s more concerned about the consequences rather than the fact that he’s done wrong.

And, to be truthful, there is Scriptural precedent in the life of Israel for Abishai’s suggestion that Shimei be executed (cf. Ex 22:28; Lev 24:15-16).

However, as David demonstrated mercy, even when someone with suspicious motives asked for forgiveness, so should we (Eph 4:32; Mt 5:7).

Honestly, I find the next section even more fascinating.

24 Then Mephibosheth the son of Saul came down to meet the king; and he had neither cared for his feet, nor trimmed his mustache, nor washed his clothes, from the day the king departed until the day he came home in peace. 25 It was when he came from Jerusalem to meet the king, that the king said to him, “Why did you not go with me, Mephibosheth?” 26 So he answered, “O my lord, the king, my servant deceived me; for your servant said, ‘I will saddle a donkey for myself that I may ride on it and go with the king,’ because your servant is lame. 27 “Moreover, he has slandered your servant to my lord the king; but my lord the king is like the angel of God, therefore do what is good in your sight. 28 “For all my father’s household was nothing but dead men before my lord the king; yet you set your servant among those who ate at your own table. What right do I have yet that I should complain anymore to the king?” 29 So the king said to him, “Why do you still speak of your affairs? I have decided, ‘You and Ziba shall divide the land.’ ” 30 Mephibosheth said to the king, “Let him even take it all, since my lord the king has come safely to his own house.”

David, based on Ziba’s testimony, believed that Mephibosheth had abandoned David to pursue royal aspirations.

Here, Mephibosheth says that Ziba lied about him.

Who are we to believe?

Ziba, who fed the king on David’s way out (cf. 2 Samuel 16:1-2)?

Or, Mephibosheth, who suggests that Ziba lied about the former?

I want for you to note a few things about this interaction.

First, Mephibosheth has not cared for his personal hygiene since the king left.

This actually is used in mourning rituals.

It suggests deep sadness and grief that interrupts one’s daily routine, to include caring for their hygiene.

Also, when presented with the prospect of having half of his property restored, Mephibosheth says that Ziba can have it all as long as the king is safely returned home.

For my part, I’m inclined to believe Mephibosheth.

However, what are we supposed to learn from this encounter?

The Lord always brings the truth to light.

Something that I consistently pray for myself is that I would not be deceived.

Instead, that I would be able to identify what is false.

Believe what is true.

And act upon the truth.

Brothers and sisters, we need God’s Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, to help us in this matter as He’s the only and best equipped to handle such a task.

Next, we have David encounter a guy who met David in his time of need with great provision.

31 Now Barzillai the Gileadite had come down from Rogelim; and he went on to the Jordan with the king to escort him over the Jordan. 32 Now Barzillai was very old, being eighty years old; and he had sustained the king while he stayed at Mahanaim, for he was a very great man. 33 The king said to Barzillai, “You cross over with me and I will sustain you in Jerusalem with me.”” 34 But Barzillai said to the king, “How long have I yet to live, that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? 35 “I am now eighty years old. Can I distinguish between good and bad? Or can your servant taste what I eat or what I drink? Or can I hear anymore the voice of singing men and women? Why then should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? 36 “Your servant would merely cross over the Jordan with the king. Why should the king compensate me with this reward? 37 “Please let your servant return, that I may die in my own city near the grave of my father and my mother. However, here is your servant Chimham, let him cross over with my lord the king, and do for him what is good in your sight.” 38 The king answered, “Chimham shall cross over with me, and I will do for him what is good in your sight; and whatever you require of me, I will do for you.” 39 All the people crossed over the Jordan and the king crossed too. The king then kissed Barzillai and blessed him, and he returned to his place. 40 Now the king went on to Gilgal, and Chimham went on with him; and all the people of Judah and also half the people of Israel accompanied the king.

What’s incredible is that the king offers Barzillai something very generous in providing for the man in Jerusalem.

Fascinatingly, Barzillai turns it down for various reasons but notice what he suggests in 2 Sam 19:37.

Rather than Barzillai take this generous offer, give it to Kimham/Chimham (likely Barzillai’s son).

What does this suggest about Barzillai?

Even with opportunities that he’s presented with, he’s generous.

Rather than attempting to hoard it for himself, he offers to pass on the opportunity so that another can take advantage of it.

What we’re seeing with Barzillai is generosity not just with possessions but also with opportunities.

All of these positive experiences so far are going to culminate with some ugliness that concludes the chapter.

41 And behold, all the men of Israel came to the king and said to the king, “Why had our brothers the men of Judah stolen you away, and brought the king and his household and all David’s men with him over the Jordan?” 42 Then all the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, “Because the king is a close relative to us. Why then are you angry about this matter? Have we eaten at all at the king’s expense, or has anything been taken for us?” 43 But the men of Israel answered the men of Judah and said, “We have ten parts in the king, therefore we also have more claim on David than you. Why then did you treat us with contempt? Was it not our advice first to bring back our king?” Yet the words of the men of Judah were harsher than the words of the men of Israel.”

How would you summarize this interaction?

The other tribes bring a charge against Judah that there’s favoritism going on.

And then the representatives of Judah get frustrated and take it out on the other tribes by answering harshly.

Are you ever tempted to get frustrated?

When we get frustrated, even when we’re in the right, we’re tempted to say harsh things.

What do these harsh things culminate in?

Reciprocal language.

Remember what David’s son, Solomon, said in Proverbs 15:1 “1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

The unfortunate reality is that Judah’s response here is not alleviating the pressure but only going to increase it, as we’ll see in the next chapter.

When individuals are making accusations and we’re tempted to get frustrated, what should we do?

We don’t respond in kind because that will only make matters worse.

Instead, we give a gentle answer.

An answer whose manner is entirely in keeping with gentleness.

And, gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit.

Therefore, we must rely on the Holy Spirit to provide a gentle answer that will not add to the pressure but may help to alleviate it.

Conclusion: Brothers and sisters, we have seen how unchecked emotions influence others and impact relationships.

We’ve seen the tribes of Israel rely on the reason rather than the Lord and David diligently seek a peaceful resolution to bring the nation together under his leadership once more.

We’ve seen David exercise mercy, uncover the truth, and respond to incredible generosity.

And, we concluded the passage by seeing the dangers of a harsh, frustrated response in the face of accusations.

Each of these circumstances, and more, require the intervening influence of the Holy Spirit to empower us to live faithful to the Lord - let us ever diligently seek His empowerment so that we may please the Lord regardless of the circumstance.