Asking for a Friend Pt 7

Why is it so Hard to Find Real Community?

"How uncomfortable is it for the congregation to see someone who may not be a believer consistently present in the church?"

"Does your church have anything like Sunday School to discuss parts of the Bible in a small group?"

"Why do churches say they want to walk with you in your walk with Christ but actually never do?"

"Why do churches do so much to bring in new people but let those in the church feel unloved and unnoticed?"

1 Peter 4:7–11 “7 The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

Philippians 2:1–4 “1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Peter is reminding the church that they are in the last era. Christ has resurrected and has promised to return. In light of that he is adamant that the church should focus their lives for the most impact. This is a theme from Acts to the end of the New Testament. The fact that the timeline of the return of Jesus is different than what the early church or even some in the church over the last 50 years had anticipated does not change the mandate on how we then should live. This admonition was that the church should live in community in such a way as to establish the lordship of Christ through our love for each other. Showing of love, hospitality, using your gifts for the benefit of others are evidence of a thriving community that glorifies God. Paul highlights this kingdom community with the same enthusiasm. He highlighted unity, love, and the humble service of others as markers of a healthy kingdom focused church.

The issue that every church from these writings on faced was how do we practically in our culture live and work this concept out. We must recognize that in many cultures over the last 2000 years these concepts would have been outliers from the typical focus of individuals.

In the Roman empire this concept was difficult to embrace because of a class system that kept people in separate divisions according to wealth and genealogy. The church was called to embrace everyone regardless of their position in society. The idea of having no demarcation lines that determine who can participate in the group would have been a huge hurdle in the time of the writing of the New Testament. When we read it today it may seem second nature for us not to discriminate on the basis of color, race, gender or economic status, and that we are all one in Christ but that was far from the case when Peter and Paul were teaching these concepts to the early church who’s adherents had been steeped in that culture.

In medieval times the church became partners with the state. No longer was the focus kingdom community but how to take advantage of the feudal system. The church positioned itself close to the king in order to benefit from the kings ability to distribute wealth and land. Monastic movements were formed in much of Europe as a push back counter culture to the corruption and wealth of the church in its relationship with the state. They sought to regain the organic community described in scripture.

In our modern culture we face the effects of the Enlightenment. Western cultures shifted towards radical individualism. The idea of a community that serves and offers accountability flys in the face of our western culture. Our focus on obtaining health, wealth, and safety have caused western cultures to be deeply selfish, individualistic, and isolated. It is in this environment that we strive to once again obtain the community that Christ and his apostles described and lived.

Love one another earnestly

1 Peter 4:8 “8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

This is not simply a friendship but the basis for everything that the community will ultimately be and accomplish.

Scripture does not simply repeat that we should love but gives clear definitions as to what it looks like.

1 Corinthians 13 “1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Matthew 22:34–40 “34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.””

John 13:34–35 “34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.””

1 John 2:7–11 “7 Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. 8 At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. 9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”

Love is preferring, love is active, love is selfless, love is protecting, love is service, love is giving. Love is protecting each other not exposing. We can cover sin unless love requires a different approach.

Show hospitality

1 Peter 4:9 “9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

Philippians 2:4 “4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:14 “14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing,”

Hospitality is a thing you must give. There is no equation given that factors in what you receive. We are to show others hospitality. We see in the early church the example of opening our homes and sharing meals together. That remains a foundational pillar of community. We cannot complain about community if we never give the opportunity for community to happen. When was the last time you broke bread with another family or individual to show hospitality and care for them. Eating at a restaurant has become a modern substitute that lacks the meaning of hosting someone in you home.

We practically create opportunities to carry this out with our small group structure. Small groups are not a fix all to community but an opportunity to meet together and establish relationships with those of like faith where then love and hospitality can be demonstrated.

This is where we begin to understand ourselves.

Do I complain about the lack of community but refuse to participate in what is offered? Do I have an expectation to be invited into community instead of creating the opportunity? Community that does not exist in good times cannot comfort in bad.

Use your gifts for the benefit of others in the community

1 Peter 4:10–11 “10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

Philippians 2:3 “3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

The community needs what you are good at.

Romans 12:6–7 “6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching;”

The perfection of Gods design is based on the fact that he equipped us to accomplish his calling on our lives but not in such a way that we can do it exclusively by ourselves. It is in this community that we discover our own gifts and how they are interdependent on the gifts of others. No one can operate as an island to themselves. As tough as you may be, as talented as you may be, you will need help at some point.

It is in the working out of these gifts for the benefit of others that we receive joy and fulfillment.

We must notice that there is not a formula that involves reciprocity. If I do this for you then you must do this for me. That is transactional community not a community based in love. We are never allowed to stand on the sidelines and decry the state of hospitality towards us and use that as a reason to not be hospitable. Christian community is designed to deal with conflicts not use them as a reason to not act as a christian. When the early church had conflicts they came together and solved them. The presence of these imperfections were not used as a reason to withdraw from participating in community.