I’m Not Mad, I’m Disappointed
Notes
Transcript
Read Scripture
Read Scripture
Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thoughts. They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more. But that is not how you came to know Christ, assuming you heard about him and were taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, to take off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires, to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth. Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity. Let the thief no longer steal. Instead, he is to do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.
Intro
Intro
Nobody likes disappointing people
Nobody likes disappointing people
Have you ever done something wrong and were expecting a punishment or for the person you offended to lash out in anger only to be met with a calm, sad voice that said, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed”? Ugh, you would just rather them yell at you right? Nobody likes to disappoint people we love. Whether it’s friends, bosses, spouses, or family, we want to live up to the expectations that we have for ourselves and that others realistically have for us.
We land in a portion of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians this morning where Paul is describing the expectations on our new life in Christ. How our lives should look different than they did before Jesus changed us and made us a new creation. Unfortunately we often will find ourselves living in our old ways rather than the new. Paul wouldn’t have wrote this list of corrupted behavior unless someone in Ephesus was doing it. So we know that we struggle with living in the sin of our life before Christ, but why do we resist sin? Why do we strive to live righteous lives? Is it because we are afraid of punishment? Do we think the Lord will turn His back on us and change His mind about saving us?
When we fall short of the expectation God has for us, we need to remember that our new lives are secure in Christ. We need to remember that if our salvation and the new life we received from Jesus was not given to us by our moral perfection, it cannot be lost by our moral imperfection. So we don’t strive to live Godly lives because of fear of losing our salvation. Rather, we put off all of our old self because we want to honor and live up to the expectation of the one who has saved us.
When Christians sin, it’s a sanctification issue, not a salvation issue.
The one who believes in the Son has eternal life, but the one who rejects the Son will not see life; instead, the wrath of God remains on him.
God does not become “angry” with His children when we sin, in the sense that His wrath is fully put back on us and we revert back to our original condition. But the Holy Spirit that lives within us grieves and is filled with sorrow and becomes “disappointed” with us when we choose to live our lives in the chains we were once set free from. And when God is disappointed with His people, He will do whatever it takes to get their attention.
When Paul says that we shouldn’t “grieve the Holy Spirit” those that received his letter would have most likely made a connection to the book of Isaiah, one of the few references to the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament, that says,
He said, “They are indeed my people, children who will not be disloyal,” and he became their Savior. In all their suffering, he suffered, and the angel of his presence saved them. He redeemed them because of his love and compassion; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of the past. But they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit. So he became their enemy and fought against them.
The Holy Spirit grieves when God’s children copy the culture.
The Holy Spirit was grieved by Israel’s actions because Israel was acting inconsistent with their status as redeemed people. They were worshipping false gods, following their own desires, insulting God to His face, all the while claiming to be holier than the people around them. Sound familiar? The church can far too often fall into the same trap of copying the culture instead of living holy as God’s children. Today, the Lord may be “fighting against you” because of sin in your life, but it’s not because He has disowned you as His child, rather it’s because of His love for you.
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe his discipline; for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.
God’s disappointment in us for molding ourselves into the image of the world instead of the image of His son can bear consequences in our lives. But these consequences from the Lord are meant to drive us to repentance, not to cast us away.
So who is the Holy Spirit and why does Paul make a point to specifically say not to grieve the Holy Spirit?
God the Father grieves over our rebellion and wickedness (Gen 6:5-6) Jesus grieves over death and unbelief (Jn 11:35)
The Holy Spirit is a person…
- of the Trinity
The trinity is one of the most incomprehensible areas of theology. I often tell our students “if someone tells you they have the Trinity completely figured out, they’re lying.” Within the Trinity I think the Holy Spirit is the most misunderstood person of all three. I think it’s easy for us to picture a Father in heaven, and we can imagine Jesus as the Son, but when we think “spirit” we don’t think of a person but of a force. But the Holy Spirit is not just some force in the air — scripture tells us that the Holy Spirit teaches us, speaks to us, and intercedes for us. He even feels emotions, including sorrow over our sin. In fact, while the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit share the same nature and essence, we see three different ways God is grieved, each one applying differently to the character of each person:
God the Father grieves over our rebellion and wickedness (Genesis 6:5–6 “When the Lord saw that human wickedness was widespread on the earth and that every inclination of the human mind was nothing but evil all the time, the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and he was deeply grieved.” )
Jesus grieves over death and unbelief (John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” over Lazarus’ death and Luke 19:41 “As he approached and saw the city [Jerusalem], he wept for it,” )
So we see that it is consistent with the character of God to grieve over us. But why is it the Spirit that has sorrow over how Christians live their lives?
- that lives in us
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 “Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.”
Christians are called to glorify God with our bodies because we are a “temple” of the Holy Spirit. For us to better understand the significance of this statement, we need to do a quick history lesson on the relationship between God’s presence with His people and the temple. Back in the Garden of Eden, God walked with Adam and Eve. His presence was fully known. But when sin entered the world, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden because they could no longer be in a holy and set apart place in the presence of God due to their sin. As time goes on, Israel is called as God’s people and God chooses to dwell among them in a portable tabernacle while they wandered in the wilderness and then once they made it to Jerusalem Solomon builds the first temple.
1 Kings 8:10–11 “When the priests came out of the holy place, the cloud filled the Lord’s temple, and because of the cloud, the priests were not able to continue ministering, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple.”
So God presence was with them, but not dwelling in them. There was a physical location you had to go to offer sacrifices and perform rituals. But not everyone could even do that. The temple was a holy place. It was a sacred place. So when Paul writes that our bodies are now the temple of God because of the Holy Spirit living inside of us, the Ephesian church was probably like, “What, this old thing? My body is supposed to be a holy and sacred temple where God dwells? I couldn’t even get into the Holiest place in the temple, how can I be a temple for God?”
One of the things that the temple was meant to do was to display God’s glory to the nations. And that is what we as Christians are called to do as we go throughout every day of our lives.
Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.”
If our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit and we are to be a light to the world by our actions, no wonder the Spirit is grieved by our disobedience. No wonder it brings sorrow to the Spirit when we live inconsistently to our calling as redeemed children of God. The Spirit in us testifies we were bought with a price by the blood of Jesus on the Cross. Let us live our lives set apart as a temple for the Holy Spirit.
- who cares about us
I think this Charles Spurgeon quote summarizes this point in a beautiful way:
The CSB Spurgeon Study Bible: Notes Chapter 4
This text reveals to us the close connection between the Holy Spirit and the believer; he must take a tender and affectionate interest in us since he is grieved by our shortcomings and our sins. He is not a God who reigns in solitary isolation, divided by a great gulf; but he, the blessed Spirit, comes into such near contact with us, takes such minute observations, feels such tender regards, that he can be grieved by our faults and follies. Although the word “grieve” is a painful one, yet there is honey in the rock; for it is an inexpressibly delightful thought that he who rules heaven and earth and is the Creator of all things and the infinite and ever blessed God condescends to enter into such infinite relationships with his people that his divine mind may be affected by their actions. What a marvel that Deity should be said to grieve over the faults of beings so utterly insignificant as we are.
Knowing that the Holy Spirit is a person of the Trinity, that lives inside us, and cares about us helps us make the connection of why He has sorrow over our sin. And this is what we need to apply to our lives every day. The heart of the Holy Spirit is this:
That our character would align with our calling.
We have been graciously called out of the darkness and into the light. Raised to life by Christ. Been made into a new creation with a new heart and a renewed mind. We have been saved from Hell, an eternity separated from God rightfully deserved because of the sin we have willfully committed. These are all things that we have heard and know, but the Spirit is calling us to live like we believe it’s true. Do you really believe that you have been called out of the darkness and into the light? Then why do you keep running back into the shadows to try to clothe yourself in darkness again? Do you really believe you were raised to life in Christ? Then why do you continue to lie to those around you and to gossip about others as if you were still in the grave dead in sin? If you truly believe that you have received a new heart and mind, when why do you continue to make excuses for the bitterness, anger, and words you say like nothing in you has changed?
To flirt with sin is to commit adultery on Christ. So we ought to be careful of how we live and how our actions are impacting our character. We need to make sure our character is in line with our calling.
So What are we called to?
Called to be like Christ
Philippians 2:1–8 “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.”
We are called to live as humble servants just as Jesus did. And if the same power that conquered the grave lives in us, and Jesus was able to be obedient to the point of death then we can be obedient to put away the sins we have been holding on to. I’ve talked about this recently with our youth, we cannot use the fact that we have been forgiven of every sin we will ever commit as an excuse to live in sin. Our hearts should break over our sin, just like it breaks the heart of the Holy Spirit.
I’ve had people ask me before, “I keep struggling with the same sin, am I actually saved?” And my answer is the fact that you are struggling with it shows you’re saved. In order to be like Christ we must fight against sin. We must resist temptation. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, His responses to the Devil were solidified in Scripture. Does your character show that you have been called to know the Bible like Jesus did?
I have been convicted recently of my lack of Bible memorization. I’ve always made the excuse that I don’t have a great memory and having access to a Bible I can search on my phone as made it that much harder to push myself to memorize scripture. But I believe that this book is the Word of the Lord and that I’m called to know what it says so I’ve made a challenge to myself to make it a priority to memorize as much as I can. Especially parts that can help me remember to be like Jesus.
If you need some help with this I would suggest a method that I actually saw Kailyn use for the children’s ministry where you write the first letter of each word down to help begin to learn the verses you are trying to memorize.
(read a memory verse)
There are obviously many other ways we can learn to be like Christ. But reminding ourselves of our calling to be Christlike helps us stay on the right path when we are tempted to fall back into our old lives.
Called to be in Community
Ephesians 4:1–3 “Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
The Christian life is not lived in isolation. It is lived as a part of a community. One of the reasons that the Spirit is disappointed and grieved over our sin is that it causes disunity between believers. In fact, all of the sins Paul lists before verse 30 are sins that actively work against the unity the Spirit wants to produce. When we lie to each other, when we steal, when we remain angry and harbor bitterness in our hearts, when we tear people down with our words, all of these things put walls up between the members of the church. Our character must match our calling to community by us joining in with what the Spirit is doing.
(Outro will be spontaneous)
