Ephesians 4:17-32

Ephesians 4:17–32 ESV

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

When our practices are powered by God’s grace, our life should contrast an unbeliever’s life.

Ephesians 4:17–19 ESV

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

Back in verse 1 ~ Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been invited into. Do you remember the scales from a few weeks ago? They aren’t scales that measure the good I do versus my sin. Many Christians live with an unnecessary pressure that has somehow convinced them actions earn God’s approval. The scales are measuring that either. Through God’s grace, kindness and love, his best is placed on one side and my best is placed on the other side ~ the scales become balanced, which impossible without God doing it. I was in my late 30’s when I finally understood the difference between giving my best to God and being perfect. I found freedom in those lessons because my best is far from perfect, but God doesn’t ask for perfect. He wants the best that we have to offer. Honestly, when I’m looking for perfection on Sunday morning, I struggle to worship. If I need every class to be the way I would teach it ~ If I need every note sung to be correct ~ “If I need” isn’t looking for what God wants.

Loved ones, if you walked into church this morning and life seems to be putting you through the shredder and it took everything you had to show up at church, if that is the best you are able to offer Jesus today, I believe he is honored because you didn’t quit. The person who doesn’t understand God’s love and isn’t powered by God’s grace would stay home, stay in bed, not come to church, make up some excuse and float through the day. When we give God the best we have to offer, he is magnified in our life and becomes visible to those around us.

Look at verse 17 – Walk not as the Gentiles do. In the New Testament, Gentile is used two ways. Many times, a Gentile represents a person who is not a Jew. Other times, as in verse 17, a Gentile represents an unbeliever, a person that doesn’t know Jesus. 

If Paul needs to remind us no longer walk as those without Christ, then there have been times, there are times, there will be times when the path of unbelievers is attractive to us. Some of us are learning there is a battle for our soul and living differently than unbelievers can be complicated but it matters. Some of us are learning what it means to leave things behind and lock-in with Jesus. Some of us remember life before Jesus when people weren’t in our business and they didn’t care what we did. Some of us can recall the day when you began to take Jesus seriously. We realized that an unbeliever’s current steps were our former steps and they no longer worked for us. We began to walk a path that valued and protected integrity and character.

Walk not as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds - Futility could also be translated as folly, which is mentioned 44 times in the English Bible. Here are two verses that talk about the sinfulness associated with folly.

Proverbs 19:3 ~ “When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 2:14 ~ “The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.”

Paul gives three symptoms of a life that resembles an unbeliever’s life.

Doubt and disbelief (vv. 17-18) –The unbeliever’s understanding is darkened. We know from reading other Scriptures that darkness is the absence of Christ. This darkness separates a person from God and makes them ignorant of the things of God and they doubt God’s capabilities. Disbelief grows. When Moses was rescuing the Hebrew nation from Egypt, we read about Pharaoh being tossed around by daily circumstances. As God delivered each of the ten plagues, we are reminded that Pharaoh’s disbelief and hardness of his heart brought destruction to an entire country. What people think about our world and how ignorant a person might be of God’s love and grace often develops from doubt and disbelief. Both are emotional decisions before they become intellectual decisions.

If you think a Christian might be exempt from doubt and disbelief, think again. A Christian doesn’t experience disbelief in the same way an unbeliever does, but BE WARNED it is possible to be a Christian and live with doubt and disbelief. In Mark 9, Jesus had a conversation with a father and his sick boy. In verse 24, the father says, “I believe; help my unbelief.” Moments of unbelief are different than having an unbelieving heart, but too many moments stacked on top of one another combined with doubt and disbelief being cultivated will produce an unbelieving heart over time. Satan wants that for us. Satan wants doubt and disbelief to live in our brain. Genesis 3:1 – Did God actually say? The enemy works every day to cultivate “did God really say?” in our life so moments of doubt become seasons of disbelief. He distorts the truth. He wants us to wonder did God mean what he said. He wants us to question if God knew what he was talking about. He tells us, “You’ve never seen God do that in the past, how can you be certain he will do it in the present?” Loved ones, if the enemy can cultivate doubts into our heart, he knows disbelief will follow and our life will slowly resemble an unbeliever’s life.

Stubbornness (vv. 18-19) – We are born into sin. Because that is true for all people, it is also true that we are born separated from God. The ignorance that comes at birth is enough to think we can handle the world on our own. Perfection, not excellent is the standard. Unbelievers are darkened in their understanding. They are separated from God. They live with spiritual ignorance. Before we throw them under the bus, there are plenty of Christians that live with spiritual arrogance and are perfectionists. In both scenarios, their understanding becomes darkened and their disbelief becomes calloused.

Do you know the hardest part of learning how to play guitar? It’s not learning chords or how to tune the instrument. For many, it’s not even strumming patterns. Practice over time and a little rhythm improves those skills. A guitarist needs his fingertips to build up callouses until they no longer hurt when pressing the strings to play chords. In college, my guitar professor told me to use super glue because that would dull the pain while my fingers became calloused. The stubborn disbelief of a person will gradually become calloused over time. When a calloused heart is unable to distinguish between good and evil, those who wish to speed up the process will find something to help dull the pain of building their stubborn disbelief.

Words that contrast callous are sympathy, compassion, mercy, and sensitive. Words that contrast stubborn are flexible, receptive, and responsive. There are practical steps coming in the rest of the chapter, but I think Matthew 16:24 is a great verse to apply when you’re feeling stubbornness or callousness settle in your life.

Matthew 16:24 - “Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Habitual sin (v.19) – Stay in verse 19 and look for “have given themselves.” There are only 5 other places in the New Testament that use “have given themselves.” Every one of them refers to Jesus and the cross. Jesus did not stumble upon the cross or to the cross. The cross never tripped him up. It wasn’t an accident. Luke 9:51 says, “When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” Jesus met the cross on purpose for my sin and your sin. He was looking for it. He wanted to be where the cross was.

A person with a stubborn, calloused heart approaches sin with the same intentionality that Jesus approached the cross. The idea behind that phrase is that a person with a stubborn callous heart has handed themselves over to sin. They are eager to maintain unity with sin. Their moral restraint is gone. They have abandoned socially acceptable boundaries.  Often, they have gone further than they ever intended to go. The slide of their life continues in a downward spiral.

Jesus has powered our lives with grace to be lovingly different and to offer a way out of a life that gets people nowhere fast.

Here are a few obvious examples of stubborn, callous hearts.

This year, Michigan’s marijuana industry is projected to generate $420 million in tax revenue.

In 2025, the US alcohol industry generated roughly $567 billion.

In 2025, the global gambling industry generated $643 billion. Gambling is the largest expense of 20-year-olds in the US.

In 2023, the adult entertainment industry generated $58 billion.

In 2025, The global tobacco industry generated $926 billion.

In 2019, 630,000 unborn babies fell victim to abortion – costing the US economy $6.9 trillion.

There are less obvious examples of stubborn, callous hearts.

Asking AI to complete your homework. Being dishonest with the IRS. Stretching the truth to make a sale or a profit. Saying you will do something when you never intend to do it.

Loved ones, careful spiritual steps protect integrity and character.

Paul gives five attributes of a life that is powered by God’s grace.

Walk toward holiness (vv. 20-24) - Look at verse 21. Paul makes a huge assumption that his audience are authentic believers because they said they are believers. If God’s grace powers your life, walk away from your old life and walk toward Christlikeness.

Running toward holiness is always easier than running away from sin. If we’re running away from something, we are concerned with how to close it. We wonder if it will catch up to us. We wonder if it will get us in trouble again. Distractions are high. If we are running toward something, the marker is always in front us and we know exactly where we are heading. Distractions are low.

Commit to truthfulness (v. 25) - Paul clearly tells us to put away falsehood and tell the truth. In a world that frequently distorts the truth, this one attribute is a marker that points to Jesus.

Live generously (vv. 26-28) - An angry person is a stingy person. A resentful person hoards possessions. A person who gives opportunity for Satan to convince you of all sorts of things worries about where your gift goes. A person who isn’t committed to truthfulness isn’t going to share what he/she has. When God’s grace powers our life, generosity is an attribute that flows like a river because no person can outgive God.

Communicate the tenderness of God’s grace (v. 29-31) - Our words should bless other people long before they tear other people down. Look at verse 30. Israel grieving the Lord and receiving punishment was the wash, rinse, repeat cycle of the Old Testament. Many Scriptures record the Lord wanted to bless them and they actions forced consequences. If my life is sealed for redemption, then my words should have some redemptive value to them as often as possible.

Forgive quickly as you maintain the unity of the Spirit (v. 32) - I’m going to let you marinate on this one. I’m convinced that my lack of forgiveness is a declaration that God’s forgiveness isn’t enough to heal my hurts.

As a point of application: Allow Scripture to interpret Scripture before you allow emotions and feelings to interpret Scripture.

As a point of application: As we carefully live so that our practices do not resemble an unbeliever, regularly ask for biblical wisdom and proclaim Christ’s victory so our hearts remain soft and teachable.