Finding Peace Within Ourselves And Others

Finding Peace in Our Relationships Step 8: The Power Of Ownership

We made direct amends to all persons we had harmed unless to do so would injure them or others

Romans 12:18

"If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." 

Tonight I want to talk about something every person in recovery must face: finding peace in our relationships—with ourselves, with others, and most importantly, with God. 

Most of us did not come into recovery with peaceful lives. We came carrying broken relationships, broken promises, broken trust, and broken pieces of ourselves. 

You see addiction didn't just affect us. It affected our families, our friendships, our marriages, our children, and the people who loved us. Because along the way, words were spoken, trust was broken, and wounds were left behind. 

Some of us carry guilt over the people we've hurt. 

Some of us carry anger over the people who have hurt us. 

Some of us long for the day that we can reconcile all of our broken relationships while deep down knowing some relationships may never be the same. 

And right in the middle of all that brokenness, God speaks these words: 

Romans 12:18  "If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." 

Notice what God does not say. 

He doesn't say, "Make everyone happy." 

He doesn't say, "Fix every relationship." 

He doesn't say, "Pretend everything is okay." 

Instead, He says, "As far as it depends on you." 

There is a part that belongs to us, and there is a part that belongs to God. 

1. Recovery Begins When We Stop Looking Outward and Start Looking Within 

True recovery begins when we stop looking for someone else to blame and allow God to search our own hearts. 

Psalm 139:23-24 King David wrote: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

Before recovery, many of us became experts at explaining why we did what we did. 

We blamed circumstances. 

We blamed other people. 

We blamed our past. 

We blamed our pain. 

Some of those things were real. Many of us have experienced betrayal, abuse, rejection, or deep hurt. 

But recovery calls us to ask a different question: 

"Lord, what do You want to change in me?" 

Romans 12:18 begins with our responsibility. 

"As far as it depends on you." 

That means I have to examine my own heart. 

Maybe I need to apologize. 

Maybe I need to admit where I was wrong. 

Maybe I need to let go of resentment. 

Maybe I need to forgive someone who deeply hurt me. 

Recovery isn't about becoming perfect. It's about becoming honest. 

It's about surrendering our pride, taking responsibility for what we can change, and allowing Christ to transform us from the inside out. 

Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, 

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." 

Notice He didn't say, "Blessed are those who avoid conflict." 

He said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." 

Peacemakers are willing to face difficult conversations with humility, truth, grace, and love. 

2. Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Trust 

Some people hear this passage and wonder, 

"Does God expect me to let everyone back into my life?" 

The answer is no. 

God calls us to forgive, but He also calls us to be wise. 

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring destructive behavior. 

Forgiveness does not mean removing healthy boundaries. 

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened. 

Forgiveness means releasing the bitterness that keeps us trapped. 

Many people have been set free from addiction but remain imprisoned by resentment. 

We stopped using. 

We stopped drinking. 

But we're still carrying yesterday's pain into today's relationships. 

God wants to heal more than our habits. 

He wants to heal our hearts. 

Recovery isn't just about what we stop doing. 

It's about who God is shaping us to become. 

3. Do Your Part and Trust God With the Rest 

Romans 12:18 doesn't promise every relationship will be restored. 

You can apologize, and someone may still refuse to forgive. 

You can change, and someone may still remember only your past. 

You can become a new person in Christ, and someone may still see the person you used to be. 

That hurts. 

But your past does not have the final word. 

God does. 

Your responsibility is obedience. 

Your responsibility is humility. 

Your responsibility is faithfulness. 

The outcome belongs to God. 

When you've done what depends on you, you can leave the rest in His hands. 

4. Jesus Is Our Example of Peace 

Jesus understands broken relationships. 

He came to love people, and many rejected Him. 

He came to forgive, and many mocked Him. 

He came to save, and they crucified Him. 

Yet from the cross He prayed, 

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) 

Jesus didn't forgive because people deserved it. 

He forgave because that is who He is. 

Romans 5:8 reminds us, 

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

God didn't wait for us to clean ourselves up before loving us. 

He came to us in our brokenness. 

That is the Gospel. 

The forgiveness we've received becomes the forgiveness we're called to extend. 

A Challenge for Tonight 

I want each of us to ask ourselves three questions. 

First: Is there someone I need to forgive? 

Not because they deserve it, but because I need the freedom God offers. 

Second: Is there someone I need to make things right with? 

Have I taken responsibility for my part? 

Third: Am I trusting God with the relationships I cannot fix? 

Or am I trying to control something only He can heal? 

Romans 12:18 doesn't say we can make everyone live at peace with us. 

It says we can stand before God knowing we have faithfully done our part. 

Altar Call 

Tonight I believe God is speaking to hearts. 

Some of you are carrying guilt. 

Some are carrying shame. 

Some are carrying anger. 

Some are carrying broken relationships that have weighed on you for years. 

God is inviting you to surrender them. 

You cannot change another person's heart. 

You cannot undo yesterday. 

But you can place it all into the hands of the One who makes all things new. 

The same God who rescued you from addiction can heal your heart. 

The same God who forgave you can teach you to forgive others. 

If you've never surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, tonight is your opportunity. 

He isn't asking you to become perfect before you come. 

He's simply asking you to come. 

Bring your brokenness. 

Bring your failures. 

Bring your shame. 

Bring your pain. 

He already knows it all, and He still loves you. 

If you're already a follower of Christ but know there's something you've been holding onto, this invitation is for you as well. 

Tonight may be the night you release the resentment. 

Tonight may be the night you lay down the bitterness. Tonight may be the night you finally experience the freedom that Christ has been offering you all along.

The Bible says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." God is faithful to keep His promises.

So don't leave this place carrying what Jesus died to carry for you.

If God is speaking to your heart tonight—whether you want to give your life to Christ for the first time, recommit your life to Him, or simply lay down a burden you've been carrying—I invite you to come.

Step out in faith.

Don't worry about what anyone else may think. This is a moment between you and God.

As we begin to sing, if God is calling you, come.

Come and receive His forgiveness.

Come and receive His grace.

Come and receive His healing.

Come and receive the freedom that is found only in Jesus Christ.

The altar is open.