Built to Last
Notes
Transcript
Greeting
Greeting
Good morning Lighthouse!
It is good to be back this Sunday morning.
We are in the second week of a series called Family Ties.
We are talking all things family as we get ready to head back to school, and we start making our way to the Fall.
How many of you love the Fall?
It’s a great season.
The Fall is a bit of a ‘reset’ for a lot of people. There’s commitments we made at the beginning of the year that we start to bring to completion in the Fall. We want to finish the year strong. We want to make sure we get things done and ready for the Winter.
Likewise, we get to through this series, maybe reset some things around our homes. That’s a great thing.
Here we go, let’s read.
Reading
Reading
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Built to Last
Built to Last
Introduction
Introduction
Early on in my marriage to Joanna we lived in a cozy one bedroom apartment. Cozy is just a kind way of saying small.
And our furniture was simple and Swedish.
Does anyone know what I mean when I say that?
Yes, it was from Ikea.
Lots and lots of Ikea furniture, because it was budget friendly.
For those of you who have built Ikea furniture know, it is easy on the budget and hard on your fingers. All of those small parts and those tiny L wrenches to build them. All while you are on hands and knees…
While Ikea is easy on the budget, it is hard to move. More Ikea furniture has been lost to moving than any other event in history.
Why is that?
Ikea furniture is not built to last. Not the long haul. Highly unlikely that you’ll find Ikea furniture in a garage sale 20 years from now.
Transition
Transition
Why am I beginning my message like that?
Because that’s a modern retelling of the story Jesus told here in Matthew 4. He is giving his hearers some instruction about building their home.
That analogy was used to get to the critical big idea - and that is what will you do with my words?
And so we’re going to continue that analogy and directly apply it to how we build our homes, and here what I am about to say, in response to what God’s word says about how we should build our homes.
Text
Text
The most helpful passages of scripture in the Bible as it relates to your marriage are in Ephesians 5.
Now before I read this passage of scripture, let me say this to Moms and Dad in the room. One of the best gifts to your children is a strong and healthy marriage. If I had to order it it would be 1A, you hand down faith to them, and 1B would be a strong marriage.
Well in the Bible, we are about to read about how to build a marriage that lasts. We’re going to move through is in pieces. Here’s the first piece.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Let’s stop right here.
Paul is talking to husbands and wives and he is about to give them household instructions. Notice how he starts.
Submit to one another, out of reverence for Christ.
[Pause]
One command with so much application… we’re going to have some fun with this one.
Let’s start with all the single people in the room.
The first thing that you should look for in a relationship is, “are they submitted to Christ.”
Because here is the deal. A person fully submitted to Christ will be able to submit to their future spouse. But if a person is not fully submitted to Christ, hard stop right there. Because if they won’t submit to the Lordship of Jesus, they will not submit to you. And if they will not submit to you, you’re going to build a house on sand.
The foundation for a healthy and God-honoring marriage is mutual submission.
I know some of you men read right past this verse and read the part about wives submitting to their husband, and we’re going to talk about that, but that comes AFTER we get this right.
I am submitted to my wife, and she is also submitted to me.
I know that might feel confusing to some people wanting some sort of pecking order, but look at the wisdom of God’s word here. If we both submit to each other, we’re not going to let our egos get in the way of what’s best for us. What’s best for our kids. What’s best for our family. We have mutually submitted to one another.
Now, on the heels of this statement right here, then Paul continues.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Now this is the verse some of you guys were hoping I’d get to, you just didn’t know that this verse comes after the verse about mutual submission. You are trying to take this one passage and strip it of it’s context.
You’ve heard me say this before, but I need to say it again.
A text without its context is a pretext.
So let’s dive into this verse a but. Paul is saying that within our mutual submission, wives, understand that in God’s order he has established the husband to be the head of his wife.
Now for some of you, you read that as the husband being OVER the wife.
That’s not the right way to read it, and this is what I have taught our men here at Lighthouse.
To be the head of the household means that you are to go ahead of the household.
Husbands are to go ahead of their wives and children.
You are at the head of the line. Meaning, you are out in front of your family. And that’s the order that I believe God is describing.
[Example]
Let me make this real simple.
When you hear a noise at night, husbands do you wake up your wife and say, “honey! I think I heard a sound! Can you please go and see what it is?”
Listen, men if you do that, we need some immediate counseling. I might even pay for you to join a gym, and a fire arms course if I have to.
No, we don’t send our wife to go check on it, we go men, don’t we.
Why?
Husbands go first.
When Adam and Eve committed their sin in the garden, who did God talk to?
Adam.
Why? Because husbands are ahead of their family.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Now Paul shifts his focus to the husbands and he commands them to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
I know that you might be thinking, “Love my wife. Big shocker!”
I would just add that you probably aren’t loving her in the way that Christ loved the church. It is sacrificial love.
It is a love that gives without expecting anything in return. It is not a reciprocal love or a conditional love. It is sacrificial.
Can we be honest?
Men, have you ever grumbled to yourself about how much you have given to your wife and to your family? Do you ever stress about being the person who always goes ahead? Of course. We are all just men…
Can I tell you what I do in those moments?
I think about Jesus.
I think about how He loved the church and how He gave himself up for the church.
And that’s not being dramatic, that’s being biblical.
There are men that have unbiblical expectations of their wife, and then they wonder why they’re unhappy in their marriage. Wrong expectations. You were the one commanded to love sacrificially. She was commanded to let you go ahead.
You then both submit to each other by honoring God’s order for the marriage.
[Transition]
In summary, Paul gives us this statement that brings it all together:
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Remember it this way - Love & Respect.
Husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands.
Loving your wife meets her deepest needs, and respecting your husband meets his deepest needs.
When we violate either either of these, we’re building our house on sand, and not the foundation of God’s word.
And here’s the deal - culture changes. Fads change. Ways of doing things change. But God’s word does not change.
For Children
For Children
Now, before we move on, we need to talk about the role of children in the house built on the rock.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Before I start getting side eyed from the kids in the room who think they understand this to mean, “Listen to your parents,” that’s not what the Bible says. It doesn’t command children to listen to or obey, it says to honor. It’s a different word with different meaning.
Honor represents the value of a person.
The way you honor your parents tells everyone around you what their life, words, and example mean to you.
In Jewish culture, honoring your parents was only second to honoring God.
Let me say this, you cannot dishonor your parents and honor God. I believe what God would say to that is, I appreciate your devotion, but how about you go home and make your bed. How about you go home and listen to their instruction. How about you do your chores before they ask you.
Those people love you. They clothe you. They feed you. They support you.
Honor them…
Conclusion
Conclusion
Last week I said that Satan is on a war with the family. He is out to destroy marriages and disrupt the destiny of your children.
One of the reasons for that is because of what the family represents.
Think about the language Paul was using for a home and for the marriage. It is a picture of Jesus and His bride, the church.
When we see a healthy marriage built on the rock, we actually see a picture of Jesus.
Paul said this about our lives:
You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.
Paul was saying that many people will not read a Bible, but they will read you.
My prayer is that when they read our lives they see Jesus and they acknowledge their need for a Savior.
Call
Call
I want to close today by
