When our differences become visible

KIDZ MESSAGE

Object Lesson: The Friendship Bracelet › Props - a bracelet strung with many different colored beads, on one string

On-Ramp: "What's your favorite color?" — ask a few kids, get different answers Point out: not everybody said the same color "Does that mean you can't be friends? Does that mean you can't sit together?"

Lesson: Hold up the bracelet Every bead a different color — none match Still one bracelet, because they're all on the same string › Read Romans 15:7 (paraphrase): "Accept each other, just like Jesus accepted you." We don't all have to like the same things, or even think the same things, to belong together What holds us together isn't that we agree — it's Jesus. He's the string. Sometimes people think a different-colored bead doesn't belong. But Jesus put it there on purpose.

› SLIDE - KiDZ Big Idea: "We don't have to match to belong together — Jesus is what holds us together."

Conclusion: This week, notice someone who likes different things than you, or even thinks differently than you You can still be their friend. You can still sit with them.

Prayer: "Jesus, thank You for putting all of us on Your string, even though we're all different colors. Help me stay close to people even when we don't agree. Amen."

MAIN SERMON

SLIDE - Title

ON-RAMP

Story: The “Jess (liberal)” and the “Heidi (conservative)” talking about voting. - Heidi says to someone next to them “You get it, if these liberals would just accept Jesus, then we wouldn’t be in this mess” - Jess overhears, and almost walks away, but turns back, takes a deep breath, and says, “You know, just because someone votes to the left, doesn't mean they aren’t following Jesus.” - Expecting to get an earful, or a debate from Heidi, Jess braces herself. But Heidi does something Jess doesn't expect. She says, “Wait, really? How could someone vote for a democrat and still follow Jesus? Would you tell me more?” - Kind of taken aback by the genuine curiosity, Jess tentatively tells Heidi her opinion, and how she tries to vote, not based on loyalty to a party, but based on her Christian conviction. - Heidi listens carefully, and asks a few follow-up questions, but in the end simply says “that’s so interesting, I have never heard someone explain it that way. Thanks for telling me. I don't know if I agree, but I really appreciate your perspective.” - And the two of them moved on to a different topic.

Interesting Story isn’t it?

We are in a series where we are looking at how we if we hide in the crowd,

if we are invisible to our church community,

we will slowly, but certainly drift away from the thriving faith we need.

1 John 1:6 “6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.”

yet Jesus invites us to step out into the light, to be seen by him and by others who are following him.

1 John 1:7 “7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”

Yet, I think you know that being “visible” can feel dangerous.

When people become visible, their differing convictions emerge.

Being visible is risky because some may see our differing convictions and choose to do battle with them.

ever been there?

Someone learns something that they disagree with about you and then they put pressure on us to change in order to fit their expectations.

I sure have.

And before you start thinking this is just something that people do to you, pause and recognize, you to it to others too don't you? I sure do.

Sometimes because you genuinely want what you believe is best for them

example: I am a parent, need I say more? I want what is best for my child and she often does not know what is best for her. She would stay up late every night and east only ice cream, candy and ramen noodles if I didn’t pressure her to do differently.

But, let’s be honest, that is in many ways me doing battle with the way she is, with her opinions and behaviors that I believe are unhealthy

Sometimes as a way of trying to protect your own sense of safety.

example: This happens in church a lot. We are social creatures, and by coming here we are associating ourselves with this whole community. I personally don’t agree with some of y'all’s opinions, but when you leave this church and go out for lunch and someone overhears that you go to this church (and overhear your strong opinion), and then they watch a video online, they WILL associate the opinion you stated with me.

So there is a great temptation for me to change your mind to be more like mine so that I feel like I can have control over the community’s opinion about me.

And this battle of opinions, this war of defense, if left unchecked, will push you straight back into invisibility.

Out of the light, away from Christ’s body (the church), and apart from Christ himself.

So how do we stay in the light, to stay visible, when our opinions can differ in such a threatening way?

Unfortunately I believe what we often do is one of two things...

We Retreat: We surround ourselves with people who like or affirm our opinions and distance ourselves from those who don’t.

We Attack: We actively pursue opportunities to change people’s minds

And both of these will kill community, and draw people into the darkness/ away from Jesus.

Yet, small groups create the very conditions where these tensions surface.

So what do we do?

How do we cope when our differences become visible?

How do we navigate group-life, where we are seen and we see, when it brings our differences to the surface?

How do we stay close when there is such a great risk of harm?

I believe today’s scripture has some critical wisdom for us. I expect that it will highlight today’s big idea

SLIDE - Big Idea

Christ moves most powerfully where differing convictions stay visible

Turn with me to Romans 14

SCRIPTURE EXPOSITION

SLIDE - How to Cope with Differing Convictions

1. (14:1–4) Accept those you Disagree with without Argument or Judgement

v. 1 "Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters"

Belonging to Christ isn't based on us agreeing with each other. You WILL disagree on many things.

Accept

He assumes he is talking to someone who think’s their own faith is strong. Someone who believes they are in the right.

He is not saying “agree”. He is saying to receive them as they are—with their actual convictions.

Without Argument

Quarreling (arguing) is what we do when we do not tolerate someone else having a different conviction.

He is telling them to be ok with someone having a different conviction than you, even one you perceive as weaker or less faithful.

But there is a line here right, he does say “disputable matters”

How can I tell when something is a “disputable” matter?

(v. 2-3) Examples from Paul are things that the scriptures point to (Food & Holy Days)

This is why we read the apostle’s creed and why there needs to be leadership under accountability in the church.

Without Judgement

To judge is to claim that their standing before God is compromised because they don't agree with your conviction — that they are less acceptable to God.

Paul’s response… v. 4

(v.4) "Who are you to judge someone else's servant?"

not your servant, not your call

But before we oversimplify the “accept and don’t judge” bandwagon, I want to remind you of something else Jesus said to a group a religious people...

John 7:24 “24 Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.””

We can’t avoid judging, we must, both individually AND in community, make decisions about what is an is not acceptable.

We need to decide so as not to flounder, and those decisions will not agree with everyone’s convictions.

To decide is to make a judgement call, but we can make communal judgement calls without requiring everyone to change their conviction.

2. (14:5–12) Remember that they answer to Christ, not you.

Conviction (what you believe God is telling you to do) and Choice (what you personally decide to do) are between the individual and God

Not even God forces people to obey, so how dare we try.

Ultimately, whether we are in good standing with God or not is between the individual and God.

v. 5 - "Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind"

Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord — not to the room, not to group opinion

Their conviction answers to Christ first. Not to you.

Example: I love how our kids ministry handles kids who try to buck against what they are doing. The choice stays with the kid. “This is what we are doing, you can join us or go back”

3. (14:13–19) Do not create Stumbling Blocks

(v.13) "Stop passing judgment on one another... make up your mind not to put any stumbling block in the way of a brother or sister"

A stumbling block is an action or behavior that damages someone’s relationship with God by pressuring them to act against their conscience.

Like putting a block of wood in front of a blind person. Their inability to see what you see will set them up for being harmed.

This typically would happen when a new, super zealous believer wants to follow all the rules right.

They see a more nuanced and mature believer not following the rules, and it causes them to act against their own conviction

Paul is saying that the nuanced believer is responsible for this slip.

I actually don’t think this is the largest problem in our community.

Instead I see either passivity or judgement

(v.19) "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"

4. (15:1–7) Respond to their conviction with their good in mind

(15:1) "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves"

Not seeking your own good — the good of others

YOU don't need them to agree with you to be safe

They may need your point of view, but you must not cross over into forcing them to accept it.

Most of the time, if you are trying to control another, you have stopped seeking their Good.

This is why leaders must never lead in silos. Good leadership will help this happen, and you best support your leaders, not by agreeing with them, but by building them up.

Callback:

Remember our big idea...

SLIDE - Big Idea

Christ moves most powerfully where differing convictions stay visible

Being Visible will inevitable lead to a clash of convictions. That’s not a sign of failure, it’s a sign that we are actually getting somewhere.

But group coherence can fall apart fast if we do battle. Instead do the 4 things Paul taught us...

1. (14:1–4) Accept those you disagree with without argument or judgement

2. (14:5–12) Remember that they answer to Christ, not you

3. (14:13–19) Do not create stumbling blocks

4. (15:1–7) Respond to their conviction with their good in mind

APPLICATION & CONCLUSION

This who series has been an invitation to step out into the light, not not be invisible, and I know this particular dynamic is one of the main reasons we stay invisible.

When others have convictions that clash with ours it can feel really uncomfortable.

So we hide in groups of like-minded people, or we avoid being seen all together

When God calls you out into the light, he knows what is waiting for you here.

And he still invites you out.

He still says that 1 John 1:7 “if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”

God isn't asking you to think alike. He's asking you to stay visible even while you don't.

Invite Band Up

INVITATION

For those who've built a comfortable, like-minded circle:

Ask the Spirit to name one person you've quietly filtered out

For those who've felt filtered out, distanced from, over an opinion:

You are not required to change what you think to belong here

You also cannot follow Christ and stay away from his body forever.

Bring that hurt honestly to Jesus tonight

SLIDE - Prayer

Jesus, the person I've quietly distanced from is ____________________, and if I'm honest, it's because ____________________. Forgive me for needing agreement to feel safe. Help me stay visible with them, even in disagreement, the way You stayed visible with me before I agreed with You about anything. Amen.

PRAYER

Jesus, thank You that You accepted us long before we agreed with You. Forgive us for hiding behind people who only think like we do. Give us the courage to stay in the room, and stay visible, even when it's uncomfortable. In Jesus' name, amen.