A Christ-Filled Home (Colossians 3:18-4:1)

A Christ-Filled Home

Colossians 3:18-4:1

Sunday, August 16, 2026 — Land O’ Lakes Bible Church

i. Introduction

Please turn in your Bibles with me to Colossians 3:18-4:1(2x). That can be found on page #1170 in the Church Bibles there in your seats.

Recap: The book of Colossians has been written as a means of encouraging and strengthening the Church of Colossae so that they may not be overcome by false teaching. A false teaching that seeks to encourage them that to have a full life, one must have Jesus plus other things. The adding of certain prohibitions of not touching, tasting, drinking. The adding of certain extreme severities against the body.

To counter all of this, Paul and Timothy have been pointing them to the fullness that is theirs in Christ. Pointing that he is the Supreme Lord over all things. That he is supreme over creation and redemption. That in Jesus every ruler and authority has been put to shame and disarmed. That in Jesus every trespass and record of debt has been forgiven and cancelled.

Therefore, our eyes are to set above where this Jesus has been seated next to the Father with all authority, setting our minds on him and walking in him alone! And because we as Christians have been filled with him, we are called to walk in him by putting off the things of old which we have died and putting on the newness of life that we have in him.

In fact, as seen in Colossians 3:17, we are called as those in Christ to do whatever in word or deed, to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Saints, as you consider this instruction, to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, under his ruling as King, what do you consider as everything?

Is it simply how you serve in the church? Is it simply the big decisions of life? But what about the mundane moments of life? Those ordinary moments of life and all that encompasses them. Those moments not in the eye of the public or other church members, but those moments inside the walls of your home. Is Jesus Lord of these moments? Is he Lord of your home? That is what our passage this morning points us toward, how to live in good order in the home under the Lordship of King Jesus! READ Colossians 3:18-4:1…

Here is what I think Paul’s argument is for us in this passage and the Main Point of this sermon: Jesus is Lord of all things, including of our homes. Therefore, let us submit to the roles he has given us within the home and live in a Christ-like manner.

1. Christ-Filled Wives and Husbands (v.18-19)

2. Christ-Filled Children and Fathers (v.20-21)

3. Christ-Filled Slaves and Masters (v.22-4:1)

All three of these sets address those who lovingly come under authority and those who are to lovingly exercise authority. Two themes that will appear repeatedly in each of these parts of the family.

But even as these are addressed, don’t miss the ordering of each of these, wives then husbands. Children, then fathers. Slaves, then masters. This showing that each of these, regardless of whether or not society values are valued by God in his word. For each of these are addressed concerning their will and their receiving Christ and putting on Christ.

Let us then carefully consider the instructions that the Lord of the home has given us in these 3 relationships within the home.

1. Christ-Filled Wives and Husbands

The first relationship within the home that is addressed is that of wife and husband in verses 18-19.

1.1. Wives

First, instructions for the wives, verse 18 …

The word submission is an unpopular word today and we often struggle with it. We do so, because we presume that to submit is a declaration that one is weaker or less significant than the other. And while the word certainly can have that as part of its range of meaning, as we see from the context both directly here in Colossians and elsewhere in the Bible, that is not the use of submission here.

Following this call for wives to submit here in verse 18, we find in verse 19 that husbands are called to love their wives and not be harsh with them. That doesn’t sound as if the call to submit is a call of lesser value.

Further, in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians he says the following regarding a wife’s submission:

Ephesians 5:22–24 (ESV)

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

So, we see that a wife’s submission to her husband is a picture of the church’s submission to her redeemer. Therefore, when a wife submits to her husband, she is giving praise and glory to her Savior as she rejoices in the hope of the gospel!

Further, when a wife submits to her husband, she is not only pointing to the church, but Christ himself. For even the Son submitted to the Father. And so, in this same manner wives are being called to submit to their husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

What then does this submission look like?

· Godly submission of a wife is recognizing that she has been created a helper fit for man. Therefore, she submits by coming alongside her husband to carry out the creation mandate given, to subdue the earth, bear fruit and multiply. A wife then lovingly submits to her husband as she seeks to put on the traits of Christ as we saw in Colossians 3:12-16 in support and encouragement of her husband. Godly submission of a wife means that she puts on kindness with her husband, humility, looking out for his interests rather than her own self-interests. She puts on meekness and gentleness in how she speaks to and about her husband. Godly submission puts on patience as a helper in recognizing that just as she is still being sanctified by God, so is her husband.

· Godly submission then means a wife seeking to build up her husband and not tear him down. Sisters, this is why the Proverbs speak warning of a wife who is more like a storm than peaceful. For it is a warning of such danger that there are those wives who seek to constantly complain and create havoc within the home. Wives who seek to quarrel. Put such to death as you kill the sin within and put on that of bearing with one another and taking complaint to one another to have forgiveness rather than hardened hearts.

· Godly submission though has some things that it is not as well. Godly submission is not a call for wives to lay their own minds and thoughts down. It is not then merely always agreeing and affirming the actions of your husband. For you as a wife are one of God’s kindest gifts to your husband in working towards his own sanctification. Therefore, push back against him when he is running towards sin and wrongdoing, but do so with humility and gentleness as you point him to Jesus! For this is how you both sanctify and submit as is fitting to the Lord.

· But one final note must be sounded on what Godly submission for a wife looks like. It is too often confused in this call for wives to submit, that they are to submit and endure abuse, whether verbal or physical. It is too often confused that this call to submit means that when put in such a position, a wife cannot seek grounds of escape. Such thoughts are hogwash and should be thrown out with the bath water. Sisters, your call to submit to the Lord is in that which is fitting in the Lord. And such abuse, such cruelty is not fitting in the Lord. For even before we fully turn to husbands, see what they are called to there in verse 19. They are called to love their wives and not be harsh with them; this too is what is fitting in the Lord. Therefore, when one fails to love God and neighbor, in this case one’s wife, the most loving thing you can do, the godliest way that you can submit is to forgive your husband, yes. But let me here pull from Tim and Kathy Keller in their book, The Meaning of Marriage, they write, “If, for example, he beats her, the ‘strong help’ that a wife should exercise is to love and forgive him in her heart but have him arrested.”[1]

Sisters, this is the kind of submission that you are called into, that which is fitting to the Lord. So submit by coming under Christ and leaning on him. Because such submission comes through your being filled with him and continually dependent upon him.

1.2. Husbands

Now to the husbands, it is our turn. Look again there at verse 19 …

In the same way that wives are to submit by putting on Christ, so are we called to love them. For even in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he elaborates our call to love our wives there, as he instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Brothers, this call to love then is a call to love like Christ. A love that served, a love that sacrificed. For Christ laid down his life on the cross for his bride. And so, to serve and sacrifice for our wives in this love, we as husbands are called to not be harsh with our wives.

Brothers, let us then consider how we speak and act with our wives. Do we act harshly with them? Do we use harsh words in speaking to them? Are we harsh towards them in our actions? Or are we putting on Christ in how we speak and act towards our wives?

It is wise then for us as husbands to consider again that which we have been called to put on in thinking about our words and our deeds in the home.

As husbands are we those who have compassionate hearts towards our wives? Are we kind to them? Do we show humility towards them in showing more significance towards them and seeking their interests than our own? Do we as husbands deal gently in speech and actions towards our wives? Are we patient with them?

Are we quick to forgive them when they do wrong and sin against us? Are we quick to ask for their forgiveness when we sin against them or speak or act in harsh ways against them?

Brothers, this is what it means to love our wives and not be harsh with them. Such harshness will destroy a marriage and is un-Christ like towards our wives. Therefore, let us seek to put such harshness to death in us and be quick to repent of it.

Let us not seek to justify our harshness, declaring that it arises because of something in or lacking in our wife. For how often our sinful hearts try and justify our harsh words and actions in these moments.

Brothers, it is not our wife’s fault that causes these harsh moments, it is the doing of our own hearts and desires. For often harshness will arise out of unmet expectations, whether vocalized or hidden within the heart. Such must be put to death in us, brothers!

We must kill the desires in our hearts that are leading to these outbursts of cruel words and actions against the very one we are to labor for the good of.

Therefore, brothers, let us continue to look to Jesus and the way in which he has and continues to love us, learning to rejoice in that kind of love and then put it on at home, in our marriages.

And brothers, if any are struggling with this kind of harshness, let me encourage you, seek another brother, preferably a more mature brother than you, and share these ongoing troubles with so that you can be held accountable and encouraged to put on the things of Christ, to seek Christ being the Lord of your home instead of your own selfish desires.

Christ-filled marriages are full of such men who love their wives as Christ loved the church as they put on Christ in service and sacrifice. And wives who joyfully submit to their husbands, because they are submitting ultimately to Christ! That’s point #1.

2. Christ-Filled Children and Fathers

2.1. Children

Next up are the children. So, children, from the younger kids to you teenagers, I want to encourage you to listen carefully for the next few minutes as this pertains directly to you. As I repeatedly try and teach my 2-year-old, put your eyes on my eyes for these next few moments and hear what it is that the Lord calls you to. Verse 20…

It is pleasing to the Lord when children obey their parents in everything. That’s what the Lord has for you in calling you to obey your parents in everything. Yes I know the groans and mumblings are there, at least certainly under your breaths.

But bear with me here. This command for you to obey your parents in everything is for your good. The book of Proverbs even puts it this way:

Proverbs 1:8–9 (ESV):

8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

Your parents’ instruction and teaching, their commands are a beautiful, garland to point you to goodness and the path of life.

And here are the three ways this call for you to obey your parents helps do this:

First, in being taught early to obey your parents, you are being taught that authority is good and to be obeyed.

Think about the story of Adam and Eve in the garden. As they and all of creation was created, it was all created good, all things were good. Adam and Eve dwelt with and walked with God. Do you however remember what happened in the fall? Eve and then Adam did what? They ate the fruit of the forbidden tree which God had forbidden them from eating.

So, when they ate this forbidden fruit, they rejected God’s authority over them. For he created them and so they were meant to obey him. Yet, because they did not obey, they were punished. Every disobedience has a punishment.

Therefore, you kids and teenagers, as you are being taught to obey your parents in everything are being taught to recognize authority and see that it is meant for good, it is meant to protect you and teach you rightly as it points you to life.

Second, obeying your parents teaches you is in protecting you from yourself. It is protecting you from pursuing everything you want and indulging in it.

Just consider the food you as kids and teenagers constantly ask for. That which may taste yummy such as ice-cream, candy, and chocolate, yet none of which is satisfying and good for your well-being. If it weren’t for your parents, how many of you would choose the nutrients of fruits and vegetables? I’m guessing few if any.

Your parents are doing this in many other ways as they teach you that just because you want something, doesn’t mean that you will get it or that you should pursue it. They are working for your good as they teach you to obey to restrain you from such.

Therefore, kids see this authority of your parents as a good thing and seek to obey them in everything. And not just as those who obey outwardly. Be those that desire to obey your parents on the inside, as well as the outside.

Third, the call to obey your parents in everything teaches you humility. It teaches you that you are not your own even as kids and teenagers. It teaches you that you must humble yourself under another’s authority. And that you should obey it. But even obeying your parents in everything is not the end goal of this humility. For your obedience cannot and will not save you, though it is still good to do.

This learning of humility is to help you come and humble yourself before the Lord. To acknowledge your sin before God and your need of Jesus. Your need of his help, of his guidance, of his strength, of his salvation. O little and young ones, pursue such humility by coming empty handed to the Lord and trusting in Jesus!

One last thing though for you kids and teenagers. Because we live in a world that would use this call for you kids and you teenagers to obey your parents in everything as a means of putting you in harm’s way, I must add this, fearing that some of you may find yourself in such a position.

Your call to obey your parents in everything kids and teenagers, is rooted in that which pleases the Lord. But it is not pleasing to the Lord when a parent or parents would abuse this authority and physically or emotionally harm you. For such abuse of authority dishonors the Lord and it is good and right for you to make known such to another trustworthy adult. Please do not ever remain silent if you find yourself in such a position kids and teenagers. For you are loved and of more value than enduring that. And in this case, you are to choose to obey God rather than man, recognizing such goes against God, even if man would abuse the authority entrusted to him.

2.2. Fathers

Now we turn from children to fathers. Verse 21…

I think that these words are important for both fathers and mothers. Parents should not provoke and discourage their children. But as this passage is addressed to fathers, that is where we will focus. In part, because it is likely fathers who need this addressing more as those who set the tone of the household and our tendency towards being the ones who are tempted towards such provoking.

So, fathers we must hear then this warning to not provoke our children by anger and cruelty. For such will discourage our children and likely do one of two things, either cause them to shut down as those timid and doubtful or make them all the angrier.

And so then as fathers, we must seek to put on Christ, especially as we parent our children. For we must learn to put on compassionate hearts with our children as we care for and nurture them. Putting on kindness and humility and gentleness towards them. And being patient with them, remembering that they are little and still learning and growing. We as fathers must play the long game in being patient with them to grasp all these things.

Of course, all of this must come from us having our eyes and minds set in the heavens with Christ. In our being filled with Christ and putting on Christ daily. But it is only in doing these that we will care for our children well and not provoke them and cause discouragement in them.  

And all of this goes doubly when we discipline our children. For as we discipline them, it is to be done out of humility, counting them more significant than ourselves, working for their good. Discipline is never to be done out of anger. Such discipline is not pleasing to the Lord.

Godly discipline is carried out when we discipline with gentleness, patience, and kindness. This means that if we need to send our kids to their rooms and us walk away a moment to cool off, then we should do so. And then deal with the issue with a cool head and a warm heart towards our children. Reminding them even in and after the moment of discipline that we do so because we love them and we still love them no matter what.

Brothers, fellow fathers, it is this same kind of patient love that the Lord has loved us with, and so in Christ we are to put on this same kind of love and care for our children. Let us be those dads who do not provoke our children and discourage them. Rather let us be those types of fathers who labor for their good by loving them as we have been loved in Christ! For this is what pleases the Lord, when fathers don’t provoke their children and when children obey their parents. That is point #2.

3. Christ-Filled Slaves and Masters

3.1. Slaves

Look at verses 22-25…

This word slave (δοῦλοc), is like the word submission, thought poorly of. For in our context, we often hear the word slave and think back to the age of the Slave Trade where those of the western world would forcefully take men and women and children from Africa away from their home and make them enter a life of bondage.

We must remember though that this is not the only form of slaves though in world history. In fact, in the setting here, slaves were either those who were taken captive after war as war slaves. Some were slaves out of social order; they would become slaves under masters to provide for themselves or their families. This is why we even see the idea here in the ESV of this being called bondservants.

And because of this understanding then of slaves here, we can hopefully grasp then why slaves and masters are put here with these other relations within the home. For these slaves would have lived in the home under these masters serving them.

And so, as those in the home, they too are addressed here in this section as those having a will and of value to the Lord. They are addressed and called like children, to obey their masters in everything. They are not to just obey as their masters are watching, but even when they are not watching. For they are to sincerely obey because they fear the Lord and are to do their work as unto him, not their earthly masters. For they are serving their Lord Jesus.

Such an attitude is even to be had among slaves when cruel masters exist, because they are to trust that the Lord will repay such wickedness and wrongdoing, as seen there in verse 25.

3.2. Masters

But masters are also addressed here in how they are to oversee their slaves under the Lord Jesus. Colossians 4:1…

Masters are to treat their slaves fairly, because they too have a master, a Master in heaven, the Lord himself!

3.3. Slaves and Masters Applied for us

Culturally, we do not have this exact correlation of slaves and masters today. But we have something similarly in the workplace. For we have bosses and we have employees. And so, in the same way we are to live unto the Lord, remembering that we are under him, and not ourselves.

Therefore, if you are an employee who works for someone, you are to work in your job as one who fears the Lord and seeks to serve him. We are to do our jobs not for the approval of our bosses, but unto the Lord.

As Christians, because we do our work unto the Lord, we should be some of the most reliable and trustworthy employees that a boss has. Because we do our work to the Lord with excellence, even when no one is looking.

And if this is not you in the workplace, seek to put off the flesh that makes you labor for your glory instead of the glory of the Lord. Put on humility and count others more significant than yourself, including the name of Christ!

On the other hand, if you are a boss and have others working under you, remember that as you have people reporting to you, so you must report to your Master in heaven. Treat those under you with fairness and justice, do not wrong them. Do not treat them harshly. Put on compassionate hearts with them, be kind and gentle and patient with them. Put on humility in considering their good as well.

Conclusion

In the home, we see both a call to lovingly submit to authority and lovingly exercise this same authority in these various relational dynamics. But the only way to carry these out is to remember that we too have a Lord seated above. We must have our eyes and our minds set upon him if we are to rightly establish good order in the home and live to please our Lord.

Therefore, let us be a people who regularly remember the gospel as we consider the home and the workplace. For it is in remembering that our Lord sought to serve and sacrifice himself for us, that we will be stirred onward to walk rightly in him in this world.  

But if you are not a Christian, like with the warning for children do not think by keeping these your home will have good order and that you can earn your salvation. These instructions are to those who have been filled with Christ and are continually learning to put on Christ.

For you, as an unbeliever, you need to first recognize that you are not the Lord of your home or of your life. There is another Lord above you, and you need to humble yourself and come to him. You need to turn your eyes from yourself to him who is seated next to the Father in heaven, he who laid down his life for you to bring about the forgiveness of your sins through death on a cross and rose again on the third day as the assurance of such a salvation. Friend, come and believe and submit to this gracious master!

Let’s pray!

[1]Tim and Kathy Keller. The Meaning of Marriage. (New York, Penguin Books, 2016) 278.