Speaking the Truth in Love.

Understanding and Responding to Homosexuality  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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What does it look like to speak the truth in love to someone struggling with homosexuality?
We don’t have a biblical example per say - we do have numerous examples of what it looks like to speak the truth in love
- Jesus and the woman of Samaria
John 4
John 4 ESV
Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” They went out of the town and were coming to him. Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?” Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.” Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days. And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” After the two days he departed for Galilee. (For Jesus himself had testified that a prophet has no honor in his own hometown.) So when he came to Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him, having seen all that he had done in Jerusalem at the feast. For they too had gone to the feast. So he came again to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water wine. And at Capernaum there was an official whose son was ill. When this man heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, for he was at the point of death. So Jesus said to him, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.” The official said to him, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your son will live.” The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and went on his way. As he was going down, his servants met him and told him that his son was recovering. So he asked them the hour when he began to get better, and they said to him, “Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.” The father knew that was the hour when Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” And he himself believed, and all his household. This was now the second sign that Jesus did when he had come from Judea to Galilee.
A woman struggling with something that was not socially acceptable and definitely not godly
Numerous marriages and is currently living with a man she is not married to
There is a lot we can learn from this passage about how to speak the truth in love
What truth to speak and how to be loving
I am not building a methodology or one size fits all approach - I am simply wanting to point out things that Jesus did in the hopes that we might better love and speak the truth.
I’m going to read the passage and I want you to look for examples of Jesus’ loving this woman and examples of Jesus speaking the truth to her.


Intention ()
Jesus has to go through Samaria
This is not a story about the woman coming to Jesus but about Jesus going to the woman
Are we intentional?
In general, specifically with people in the gay community
If you know someone is gay do you make it a point to talk with them?
Initiation ()
Jesus starts the conversation
We know the whole story, who this woman is, although those details have not yet been given there are details in the first few verse to suggest that something is not right
It is the sixth hour - noon - not the time to come and draw water - normally done int he morning or evening when it is cool - clearly she is not welcome with the other women
The woman is clearly taken back by Jesus
Jesus has broken the ice and opened up the possibly for further conversation all by asking for a drink - Not Rocket science!!
Jesus shows He is willing to step outside the cultural norms
Do we initiate?
A simple “hello”, “nice day isn’t it” “my name is _______”
Talking to people breaks down barriers
I am not great at this, I envy the people that can just talk to anyone - Grampa, Daniel
Talking to people breaks down barriers
Smiling and saying hi goes a long way!
The conversation has yet to go anywhere significant but Jesus has already shown the woman he cares for her - it is that simple


Truth about the circumstances ()
He’s taking the conversation about the present circumstances and recognizing God in it
Truth about life ()
He states a truth that every human heart already knows - this life doesn’t satisfy
Truth about God’s life ()
Ties that in to God’s life that does satisfy
Truth about the woman ()
I’m not sure why Jesus turns the conversation and how he knows this
What is interesting - there is no judgement - he just states the facts
Truth about God ()
Jesus corrects her view of God
Truth about Jesus ()
Ultimately all truth must point to Jesus


In all of this Jesus says very little about the woman's sin

He doesn’t avoid it, but He doesn’t place judgement on it
John 3:17–18 ESV
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
John 3:17 ESV
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
Yet what He does say is very significant (, )

This could be several conversations

Jesus covers a lot of ground because her heart was ready
We never know the condition of the heart just by looking at someone

Not all conversations end this way

Jesus conversation with the rich young ruler doesn’t end this way ()
Ultimately we cannot control people’s choices, but we can pray
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