Unoffendable
Unoffendable • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Intro
Who gets Hangry?
If you are someone who gets angry if you haven't eaten, also known as "hangry," a new study says you aren't being irrational.
The findings, published in the peer-reviewed journal Plosone , come from one of the first studies to examine the relationship 1 of hunger and anger,
Researchers reported a 34% increase in anger and irritability when people were hungry.
Statistics show that there has been a global rise in unhappiness every year for the last 10 years
People are more angry and more easily offended today than any time that I can remember.-politics -covid-protests-culture-etc…
It feels like everyone is mad at someone for something.
And if you’re not mad at someone then someone is going to get mad at you because they think that you should be more mad.
Coffee drinkers
and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.
Raymond Novaco, a psychology professor at the University of California at Irvine
who has expertise in anger assessment and treatment told the Washington Post:
“We’re living, in effect, in a big anger incubator,” 2
Gallup (the polling company) states:
4 years in a row we have sets Records for Negative Emotions Globally 3
I’d love to say that it’s different for the church,
but in many ways I think church people are more easily offended than non-churched people!
Because we have a very defined idea of what is right and what is wrong…
we are quick to pick out the wrongs and get offended by them.
What if we could live lives that were unoffendable?
What would your marriage look like?
Where would your level of peace be at?
How would that impact the way we interact with our world?
-Do you think it’s possible, or ever proper, to live completely unoffendable?
-Can we really “choose” to not be offended?
Brant Hanson wrote a great book by this same title (I encourage you to buy it)
and we are going to use it as a bases for these next few weeks.
-The funny thing is, I’m almost positive that what I am going to teach these next few weeks about living unoffended is going to offend a few of you. ; )
-I’m going to step on a few toes,
challenge a few moral assumptions,
invite conviction into our hearts
and grace into our lives.
But I Really really believe that if we could learn to live unoffendable…
we could see not only our personal lives benefit,
but our ability to impact and influence our world would grow exponentially.
(And, no coincidence, but I think we’d look a whole lot more like Jesus)
I think this is going to be difficult for some of us because
we believe that we have not only the right to be offended,
but even a moral obligation to be offended!
Many people believe that if you are not living offended and angry
then you simply don’t care like you should,
or that you are not standing up against evil like you should!
-For many people the idea of being offended seems like it’s almost a requirement if the modern Christian!
I’d like to present another option.
I think as Christ followers,
we are called to forfeit our right to be offended.
To forfeit our right to live angry, bitter, outraged and fearful.
“Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves,
and makes us others-centered.
When we start living this way it changes everything.” (Pg 3)
Some of you are already trying to convince yourselves that I’m not right.
You Say:
-But sometimes we should be angry!
-Jesus got angry!
(1. He was mad at “believers” not heathens and
2. He’s God.
God has the right to do things we don’t like:
judge people (because he knows their hearts),
like enact vengeance (he is perfectly just),
like be angry… He is perfect and we can trust the perfection of His character to be angry and not sin.
-the other opposition:
Doesn’t Paul say in Eph 4:26 In your anger do not sin?
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
Some how we look at that and think that the point of it is “Anger is good, just don’t take it too far.”
But look just 4 verses later… at ver 31:
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Get rid of ALL bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander among with every form of malice.
Be Kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
- How is the church doing with that one?
How are you doing with that one?
How many unchurched people are out there saying
“wow… I may not believe like they do but thay are alway so kind and compassionate, so forgiving… I never see church people act bitter, angry or say mean things.
Brant makes a great point in the first chapter… We don’t like to admit it but we really like to be angry. We love to be offended.
-When we are angry we get a sense of moral superiority.
’m right, and you’re wrong…
and my anger toward your wrong
- emotionally reinforces my commitment to what is right.
-We call it righteous anger. A
nd shockingly we always think our anger is more righteous than others anger.
Some of you might start to think
-But what if someone is really mean? Or really immoral???
-That is exactly the time that Christ commands to forgive become revenant.
-We live in this odd moral paradox:
On one hand forgiveness is core to the message of Christ
and what it means to live as a Christian
… BUT if someone offends us or lives immorally then we justify anger and offense as righteous?
-“That thing that makes your anger “righteous” (I.e. the sin in it) is the very thing that you are called to forgive.” (Pg 6)
-Anger is easy…. Love is a miracle.
Turn to James 1, we'll start in verse 19, and then we'll read more in a bit. the half brother of Jesus says this, he says,
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
-READ THAT AGAIN. You will never shame, argue, scream, belittle, exclude or anger someone into the kingdom of God.
-But that seems to be many Christians entire arsenal…
If I just get mad enough, if I post my moral outrage enough,
If I mock the unrighteous enough… then…
THEN people will see the love of Christ???
Craig Groeschel in a message on this topic asked this question:
So I wanna ask you the question, how effective is your anger?
Like, how's it going for you?
If you're easily angered, is it working?
Is it making you more like Jesus?
Is your anger pointing others to the intimacy and the life and the freedom and the joy that's found in Christ?
How effective is your anger?
Is it making you more loving?
Is it drawing other people into a more joyful life?
No. Because ...”the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of Christ.“
In Colossians 3:8 Paul says
But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.
-We love our anger because it feels so righteous…
. But maybe it’s a lot more self-righteous than righteous.
We have fallen into a false belief that the proper,
maybe only response to evil, immorality and injustice is anger.
We like to say
-“If you care then you have to get angry so that you are motivated to do something about it”
-Why does anger and offense have to be our motivator?
Maybe there is a better way.
My favorite chapter title in the book is: “Everyone is an idiot except for me.”
-How many of you have gotten mad at someone for cutting you off in traffic?
Maybe called them a few names that were less than flattering?
-How many of you have cut someone off in traffic?
(Did you get just as mad at yourself? No we justify it)
-Anyone who is driving faster than us is a maniac, anyone who is driving slower than us is jerk.
But we are prefect drivers!
-Everyone is an idiot except me.
-We love to judge others by their action and ask others to judge us by our intentions.
-I’m not perfect, but my imperfection are so much more forgivable than yours! (Eye roll)
-Did you know that in proverbs anger is always (ALWAYS) associated with foolishness not wisdom?
He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.
-Ecclesiastes 7:9 says that anger lives in the lap of fools.
Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger resides in the bosom of fools.
-If we are harboring anger, offense, bitterness… we are living foolishly.
-Was there anyone who had more right to be offended and angry than Christ?
-He came from heaven to this dirt ball,
he healed, he fed, he loved, he taught,
he served and the people that he created rejected him and crucified Him.
-And as he looked down off of that cross,
pain surging through his body,
the weight of the sin of the world on his shoulders
…. He looked at the guys who mocked his pain and stole his clothes
and the all-powerful God of creation,
who could have called 10,000 angels to his rescue said this:
“Father forgive them, they don’t know that they are doing.”
Now think again about what Paul means when he tells us to love others like Christ loved us.
I want to tell you a story to you that Brent shares in his book.
In the story it will challenge and maybe even offend some of you.
It will certainly challenge many of us as we think about how we would, or should react.
You may not agree with it
…, I’m not even sure I would do things this way
… But I want you to consider it.
“There is something powerful and incredibly compelling- about someone who refuses to be offended.
My friend Michael is a very evangelical Christian. He decided to open a coffee shop in the downtown of a city with a large university, in the middle of a thriving arts scene. He opened it right in the middle of the usual assortment of feminist bookstores and hipster apartments. He planned to bring in big-name Christian musicians for concerts and feature evangelical speakers.
The local paper wrote about him and his wife and their purchase of one of the most significant buildings in the downtown area, as well as their evangelical plans for the coffeehouse.
I winced when I saw the article. I had other friends in that neighborhood and knew none of them would welcome this development. In fact, before Michael bought the building, it had hosted the community's biggest arts event of the year. It was an exhibition to benefit AIDS research, and it featured local art - some of the very intentionally "transgressive" variety.
We could see the culture war coming.
One of the exhibit organizers saw Michael on the street and asked how things were going with the remodeling of the building. He also mentioned to Michael that, of course, he and his team would be looking for a new place for their exhibition this year. (PAUSE: How would you react? How SHOULD a Christian react? Not sure if there is a right or wrong answer but look at what Micheal did)
Michael said no, they wouldn't need to do that. They could still have the event in his building. They were welcome. The guy was stunned. "Really," he said, ‘"that's not necessary." He knew Michael wouldn't want this kind of crowd in his coffeehouse. Michael told him that not only were they welcome, but he’d pay for all the catering. He'd buy the wine and (or derves) hors d’oeuvres.
They couldn't believe it. What about the art that Michael would surely find offensive? Michael said they were welcome anyway. And they were.
My wife and I went to the exhibit and, sure enough, we didn't like some of the art, for a variety of reasons, though much of it was stunningly thoughtful and beautiful. But Michael had told the event organizers that he didn't need to appreciate all the art. He just wanted to make them feel at home.
Instead of being evicted, by Christians, from the best location for the exhibit, the artists were welcomed. Michael and his wife met everyone at the door. He dressed in a tuxedo and offered everyone chocolate-covered strawberries. Live music filled the room. It turned out to be the best exhibit the group had ever had.
That was Michael's style. He hugged everybody. He talked freely about Jesus, but people didn't mind. He told me he would just talk to people about the Goodness of God because he knew that deep down everyone is yearning for a God like that.
An acquaintance of ours who ran a business nearby was open about her distaste for Christians and her affinity for Wicca. But she loved Michael, and would listen to him talk about Jesus. She said she knew he was different because when she'd drop by his coffee shop, in her all-black apparel, he'd run over and hug her.
She knew he wasn't offended by her. He loved her, and not just as a project. He liked her, even.
Christians in the community wanted Michael to be offended, to draw another line in the sand. You're supposed to get angry, and maybe even picket those kinds of people. Michael fed them strawberries. He was less interested in what some Christians thought than he was about his chance to introduce “offensive" people to a God who loves us all and wants to change us all. Love, as it turns out, covers a multitude of offenses. It sure opens doors. And hearts too.”
What if living unoffendable,
forgiving and loving isn’t just a command to follow
but a way to actually accomplish all the things that we think our righteous anger is going to accomplish?
What if Christians, what if Bethel Assembly,
was known as the people that you just couldn’t offend?
They are far too loving, merciful and forgiving.
What if we could live free of resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness and anger and self-righteousness?
What if we could live free?
