Confronting Straying Sheep, Part 1

Call to Worship

Adoration

Confession

Thanksgiving

Message

Matthew 18:15–20 ESV

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Background – Severity toward sin, tenderness toward sheep.

The Good Shepherd is severe toward sin and tender with the sinner.

The Christian is called to be severe toward his own sin by removing the log from his own eye first (Matthew 7:1-5) before he attempts to help another sinner.

And sandwiched between the severity of a Christian toward his own sin is the tender kindness of the Good Shepherd toward the wandering sheep!

You are God’s primary instrument of confronting straying sheep!

How exactly do we go about addressing other believers in their sin?

These level have a corresponding severity.

Much like a hospital has a triage unit, the kingdom of God has a triage unit in every local assembly.

A Christian who continuously sins against a brother/sister without any repentance is in danger.

It is as if their spiritual heart has stopped beating.

They need resuscitation.

The goal of every level of confrontation is restoration!

Personal Confrontation – Basic CPR (Level 1)

We’re going to spend the bulk of our time on this first level because it’s where you need to be most equipped.

Just like we want others to learn the basics of CPR, we need to know the basics of Spiritual CPR.

Matthew 18:15 ESV

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

There is a clear action for the Christian here: address your sibling alone.

We love the idea of God as shepherd and us as sheep.

God’s primary instrument of redemption is Spirit-filled people in each other’s lives.

But we hate the idea of us as His instruments.

If you’re a Christian, you’ve been called to help other saints on their way to heaven.

Every saint needs other Spirit-filled saints to bring them home.

Matthew 7:3–5 ESV

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Jesus demands us to violently deal with our own sin, and to tenderly address the sins of others.

Our sin is viewed like a “log” whereas our brothers sin is viewed like a “speck.”

This is what He demands for us. Do violence to your sin, while addressing others errors.

Before we try to help another person, we must discern…

Is this worth addressing?

Assessing the Pulse – Is this a pattern?

Not all sin is the same.

We need to overlook some sin and we’re commanded to do so.

1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

We are commanded to cover others sins in love.

Treating one another with charity means we treat others in a way we want to be treated.

So if someone was a little short with you…

Or they hung up the phone before saying ‘goodbye’

Or they didn’t ‘wave’ at you in a way you thought they should…

We may overlook wrong done in charity to one another.

Especially if it is out of character.

Confronting another is a serious matter, and if we can overlook it, we should.

Hasty CPR on every person who coughs will inevitably leave our church bruised and discouraged.

Proverbs 19:11 ESV

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

But there are times we are called to address things in other believers…

Galatians 6:1 ESV

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

There is an active participation in this “transgression”

Are they doing what God explicitly forbids?

Active Sins (Doing Wrong)

One of the saddest things is when you’re a part of a church where everyone knows that Bill tends to blow up publicly and stop coming around, but nobody is willing to address him in it.

If we observe ways they have sinned “against us” or sinned publicly in a pattern, we have an obligation to confront them.

Are they persistently refusing to do what God explicitly commands?

Passive Sins (Failure to Do Right)

This includes refusal to gather with the people of God.

This includes refusal to reconcile at wrong done.

Observable sinfulness

A feature of the observability of the sin is in fact the sinfulness of it.

We do not confront other siblings for things outside of the clear commands of Scripture.

We don’t discipline the oddities of other believers.

We discipline them for clear infractions of the Word of God.

If you’re going to bring an infraction, then it needs to be an infraction.

Observable in reality.

1 John 5:16 ESV

If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and God will give him life—to those who commit sins that do not lead to death. There is sin that leads to death; I do not say that one should pray for that.

We don’t sin in the abstract, so we don’t start CPR in the abstract.

The NIV Grace and Truth Study Bible Chapter 5

Our response when seeing someone sin (

We do not discipline a person for pride because pride is not something we can see.

Just like there are clear signs of a heart attack, so there are clear signs of “spiritual” heart attack.

Application for Everyone

We may need to reach out to others to verify you’re reading the situation or the Scriptures, correctly!

Clearing the Airway – Is this observable?

What prevents us from addressing our brothers and sisters?

The biggest hinderance in a medical emergency is people doing nothing.

If 20 people see a medical emergency, they all assume,

“Someone else will take care of it!”

“I don’t want to be held responsible!”

“What if I’m wrong?!”

But this is what leads to many deaths every year.

I think the same thing happens in our churches.

People see a spiritual cardiac arrest and they think,

“Someone else will take care of it!”

“One of the elders will take care of it!”

“This is a problem, I need to let one of the deacons know!”

Overcome Bystander Effect – Is this serious?

God has made the world in such a way that He expects His people to do act when a crisis hits.

Unlike Cain who said to God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9).

You are your brothers keeper.

Not every brother, but in this church body, you are your brothers keeper.

If you’re a Christian, you’re called by God to know address siblings when they err.

This command to address a brother or sister is not merely for church leaders, or elders.

This is for all believers! Confronting another believer shouldn’t be weird.

It should be as common and everyday as CPR is.

We’re not surprised when we see CPR taking place.

We know there is a serious medical emergency!

I want to say something to the one who refuses to address a brother or sister…

You think you’re loving, but you’re wrong.

You probably love the story of the Good Shepherd seeking the lost one, but you’re refusing to participate as His instrument.

You need repent of your refusal to address a brother or sister.

When do you stop doing CPR?

Restoring the Heartbeat

Matthew 18:15 ESV

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

When they start responding!

We don’t continue doing life saving measures when they’ve clearly started responding.

So if you’ve confronted them, and they see the seriousness of the sin and have confessed and agree with you, then forgive them!

Luke 17:3–4 ESV

If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Forgiveness is meant to be unlimited and boundless in this community.

If a person repents, we must forgive them.

No matter if this has happened a hundred times, we must forgive them.

What should we do if we find others trying to do CPR on us?

We should receive it.

We don’t scoff against it as though it’s some petty criticism.

Test Yourself

2 Corinthians 13:5–6 ESV

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test.

Paul commanded the Corinthian believers earlier to receive back the penitent man who responded to their church discipline, and he is warning them now for the third time!

Even our most harsh critics typically have a grain of truth.

We should receive it with joy.

We should consider it an act of love that they are concerned enough for us to risk our relationship for the truth.

The goal of every level of confrontation is restoration!

Hearing without “listening”

A brother may claim to “hear” all the while living contrary to the listening.

So these things will not always be immediately evident.

2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

Repentance that is only surface level, will become evident.

Though a person feels bad for their his actions, if they do not change, they show a worldly grief.

Partnered Confrontation – Calling Paramedics (Level 2)

The second layer of addressing other believers is even more serious.

It means they are moving up the chain of “high-risk”, and it begins to require multiple people to aid them in bringing them back.

When do you call the paramedics?

Sometimes it’s not clear when others are needed to be called in for help.

Matthew 18:16 ESV

But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

One of the measures of true justice in the Bible is the verification of evidence (Deuteronomy 19:15).

Deuteronomy 19:15 ESV

“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.

This the foundation of the principle in our society, innocent until proven guilty.

We don’t just take people’s word for guilt.

Guilt must be investigated.

Notice the purpose…

Matthew 18:16 ESV

But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

The purpose of addressing a brother with another is that the “matter” or “the charge” may be verified.

An eyewitness of the sin is not always possible, so it’s likely that the attempt of reconciliation is in view here.

Is Jesus just commending a form of gossip here?

The Bible often calls “gossip” or “slander” is different than what Jesus is commending here.

The absolute best way to handle someone who is gossiping is to ask,

“Have you talked to them about this?”

If you’ve ever watched kids on the playground, it becomes obvious how conflict is handled.

Little boys when they’re wronged typically try to take matters into their own hands.

Fighting, punching, kicking, and physically harming one another.

In some parts of the world, this is still the temptation.

Retaliation through force.

Addressing sin by ganging up on them and making them submit!

This is not the way of Jesus.

On the other hand, little girls have more feminine methods of dealing with wrongs done.

Little girls would never address another girl to their face.

They will go talk about Sally-sue behind her back,

“Did you hear what she did?”

Retaliation behind their back.

Both of these carnal tactics ought to be rejected.

Instead the second person is to see, has this been handled biblically.

The goal again is that the person would respond to the correction given to them!

Public Confrontation – ER Intervention (Level 3)

The third and final layer in addressing other believers is the most serious.

After efforts have been made individually, then as a collective.

There is only one final appeal on this earth: the local assembly.

Matthew 18:17 ESV

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.

In some elder-ruled contexts, they see “tell it to the church” as letting the elders or representatives be the final layer.

They reason, just like Israel had rulers and elders, so the church has rulers and elders that lead them and they act like representatives.

An example of “tell it to the church” in the NT.

In 1 Corinthians 5, we see an example of what Jesus lays out here taking place.

1 Corinthians 5:4–5 ESV

When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

Paul does not declare that this person has been removed.

Instead, he calls the church based upon his own judgment of the situation to make a judgment for themselves and remove this man.

This necessitates that the church as a whole has a responsibility and obligation in the power of Spirit to “save” this man by handing his body over to Satan.

Putting him outside the church is to hand him over to Satan with the desire to see him return to them.

Formal Excommunication – Spiritual Flatline (Level 4)

Matthew 18:17 ESV

And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

What exactly are we saying as a church for someone who has been excommunicated?

The Amish have a practice we know as “Shunning”

If a person begins living in sin, they will shun them which is to socially ostracizing them.

Worse even in some communities, they interpret the above paradigm as being mean-spirited to those who have left the faith.

All of these fall short of what the Scriptures demand!

Treat them as dead spiritually.

We stop pretending that a person has spiritual life, when they’re exuding spiritual death.

You interact with spiritually dead people every day.

Ephesians 2:1–2 ESV

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked…

That is the course of everyone outside of Jesus Christ.

You are God’s primary instrument of confronting straying sheep!

Now next week we’re going to consider the implications for us as a church body.

The address so far has been to the individual, but it will shift in Matthew 18:18 to the plural.

Jesus moves from speaking to individuals to us as a church body.