The Golden Rule

1. The Hook

The Man on the Subway

Best-Selling leadership author Stephen Covey tells the following story about an incident he experienced in the New York subway system, an experience that would radically alter his perception of what is often happening behind the scenes of our lives:

I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt like was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.

– Steven Covey

Steven Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Simon & Schuster. Simon & Schuster.

If I was to ask you right now quote for me Matthew 7:12 “12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” I am not sure any of you would know exactly what that verse says.

But if I say to you what is the Golden Rule…all of us in here would say “Treat other how you want to be treated”.

That is essentially what Jesus stated in Matthew 7:12.

But I wonder if sometimes we have made the Golden Rule a little too much about me.

How do I want to be treated?

What would I want someone to do for me?

How would I want someone to speak to me?

Those are good questions. But if we stop there, I think our focus can become too narrow.

Because treating someone the way I would want to be treated requires me to do something that does not always come naturally:

I have to get outside of myself long enough to consider what life might look like from where they are sitting.

Maybe that person isn’t trying to be rude.

Maybe that person who seems distant is carrying something you know nothing about.

Maybe that parent is overwhelmed.

Maybe that coworker is hurting.

Maybe that brother or sister sitting a few rows away from you is fighting a battle they haven’t told anyone about.

The Golden Rule requires more than asking, “How would I want to be treated?”

It requires me to look across the aisle and ask, “What might they be going through—and if I were sitting where they are sitting, how would I want someone to treat me?”

That changes things.

So today, as we come to Matthew 7:12, I want us to see that Jesus is calling us to something greater than simple politeness.

He is calling us to become people who learn to see others before we simply react to them.

3. The Text

Explain the verse — Matthew 7:12 “12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

Know the context

“So” - Therefore

This is a summation of all of what Jesus has been preaching up until this point.

Especially when you go back and reread Matthew 5:21-48. See this verse in those contexts.

Think about all the different situations he brings up and how this verse applies to those.

“This is the law and the prophets” — Matthew 5:17 “17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

Matthew 22:39–40 “39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.””

Illustrate it — Luke 10:25–37 “25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” 29 But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.””

4. The Application

BEFORE — Consider them. Where are they? Where would I be in their shoes? How would I want to be treated?

DURING — Check yourself. Am I treating them how I would want to be treated? What are my actions communicating?

AFTER — Evaluate yourself. If I were on the receiving end of me, how would I feel about the way I was treated?