Where Two or Three

Matthew 18:15–20 NRSV

“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

This reading is preceeded, in the Gospel of Matthew, by this story:

Matthew 18:10–14 NRSV

“Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones; for, I tell you, in heaven their angels continually see the face of my Father in heaven.What do you think? If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.

Come back, lost ones. You belong.

Come home, hurting ones, you have a place here.

Come back, little one, and rejoin the flock.

Correction and restoration, welcoming and healing.

Good, right?

But we know that the good of this restoration is sometimes a challenge. We hurt each other. We sin. We transgress.

What does it mean to bind something on earth? What does it mean to have it bound in heaven?

What if heaven is closer than we think? What if our actions here and now do have consequences or impacts on the world that is to come? Don’t our actions have influence on the lives we will live and the way we will die? So ought we take seriously this teaching that what we draw close to our hearts, or what we abhor or disavow, that these things will continue to make us who we are. What we bind unto ourselves or what we allow to continue to happen, does this not make the conditions of heaven or hell more real and readily accessible even now?

So this is a caution.

And it is also an instruction — be clear about what you will allow.

What does this mean and why does it matter?

Think about how we have come to normalize certain behaviors or actions that, perhaps 20 years ago or more might seem completely inappropriate or simply odd. An easy example: language. I’m not a prude, but we can be honest about how language in films or TV have changed. What is allowed is different. What they can say on Big Bang Theory is different than what was said on Cheers. Context and culture changed.

Or, sadly, maybe it’s better to look at public discourse and decorum. Manners, dignity, respect. All terms that are fraught with patriarchal baggage, but terms that nonetheless speak to a manner of being in community with others that upholds a certain level of etiquette.

In the public and political conversation, especially in our nation, we have changed the standards of what is allowable, proper, and reasonable forms of discourse. Politicians say all kinds of things that are either false, misleading, or downright mean. If I said some of the things they say when I was a kid, I woulda got my mouth washed out with soap, right?

We’re hearing this teaching from Jesus in the book of Matthew after weeks where we’ve considered what weeds and wheat have to do with each other, stories where stones are metaphors for steadfast people, where who we choose to be matters. So what is this about discipline and binding and witnessing?

Well, it’s important to realize that while we hear these as Jesus’ direct words, they are also the work of compilation by the author of this Gospel, Matthew, and his synthesis of previous sources and stories about what Jesus said and did. Matthew, writing this in the aftermath of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, now lays out Jesus’ ethical and moral argument, illustrating to his readers what the coming kingdom of heaven looks like. There’s an argument being made in this Gospel.

And here’s something of what that argument might be: The kingdom of heaven is blessed and built by God’s people living ethically and relationally with one another and creation. Blessed are the peacemakers, the poor, the mourners — these are the ones called blessed in God’s kin-dom.

But we all know that kin-dom work, cultivating community, takes effort, can be frustrating, and needs parameters to point it on the right trajectory.

And this is where we can talk about the beginning of the reading, about sin. Specifically about when someone sins against us (or we against them).

But, really, Seth, do you have to talk about sin? Aren’t there just bad choices and mistakes? Is it really about sin? Sounds so heavy, so dreary.

Ok, I hear your point. We don’t like to talk about when we do the wrong things.

So let’s talk about it this way: has anyone ever wronged you, intentionally or otherwise?

No? Really? I’m happy for you.

But for those of us who are honest, we know we’ve been wronged and that we’ve wronged others. I’ve said something snide or slighting. A friend turns their back on us when we’re in need. You get it.

Sin means to miss the mark. That’s our simple definition.

Have you ever missed the mark in a relationship? I know I have. I don’t boast about this, but do you know how many times I’ve missed the mark with my marriage? Not bragging, but it’s those most intimate people who we often sin against and hurt the most, is it not?

How about in a friendship or church relationship? Anyone experienced missing the mark there? No shame — just reality.

I feel like my Peacemaking sermon from last month, which focused on reconciliation, was personally very powerful because it acknowledged our ongoing need to be reconciled with one another and with God. Not because we are just awful people who can’t hit the target. Rather, because hitting the mark and doing right by each other, sometimes it’s actually pretty challenging.

Let me bring us back to binding and loosing, here.

When we miss the mark with others or others with us, we make agreements. We set boundaries. Actually, one really helpful way to look at sin is to see it as the guardrail or boundary line of a healthy relational dynamic. To sin is to cross the line.

I, for one, am grateful that there are lines on the roads that point us all in the right direction. The lines and guardrails have been put up in the way they are because enough people agreed, “hey, the road should veer in this direction so it doesn’t fall off a cliff. Or stay in this width of a lane, not because you don’t have a beautiful big awesome truck — but because we all need to fit on the road, so stay in your lane, buddy.

But we don’t like lines.

I know. We like freedom.

But what if this is what binding and loosing are about. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. What ever line we draw or behavior we choose, it sets the standard for what is allowable, what is reasonable, what is the norm. And so, we set up societies that have codes of law — not because everyone can totally abide by them, but because parameters, guardrails, etc., they make it safer and more conducive for inclusive communities that function.

You see, we’re laying out the argument here for why we need discipline and communal discernment, especially around issues of wrongdoing or sin.

I think the healthiest way I’ve seen this done is when communities make rules of life together. They listen to each other and consider what are the best pathways and practices that will lead community towards healthy functioning. And then the community agrees upon those ethics — not because they are the only, perfected, rule of law. But because “it seems good to us” to function this way — we agree and covenant with one another.

And I’ve seen discipline in the church play out in really healthy and really unhealthy ways.

I’ve seen gentle correction and grace offered to someone who has offended the community, and I’ve seen reconciliation and restoration occur. We can have hard conversations AND learn to move ahead together.

I’ve also see discipline go awry, where it’s used as a tool of power and authority to force others to submit and behave. I’ve seen sin used as shame and blame used to scapegoat the innocent. In these cases, we have not guardrails but the ones that the powerful put in place. And therefore, we are subject to fickle rulers instead of living as a community of justice and peace.

An example comes to mind from one of our sister denominations, the Christian Reformed Church. We have a number of Christian Reformed congregations in this area, many lovely communities of faithful followers of Jesus.

However, a couple years ago, the denomination issued a decree that all ordained ministers must sign a statement regarding marriage, defining it in the strict traditional alignment of a man and a woman. All had to agree, or they would be defrocked.

We see similar moves in the Southern Baptist Convention, as they double-down on their prohibition of women in leadership.

Why do I point to these examples? Well, because they both seem like a desperate grasp at controlling their communities through rules which bind. What I don’t see in either of these denominational cases is much space for curiosity, mutuality, and learning.

Whatever you bind up now, you bind up always.

Whatever you set free now, you set free always.

Our sibilngs in the church are making pronouncements about who and what is good and true and beautiful in the kingdom of God, by the way they make pronouncements about what is good and true and beautiful here and now.

Do you see what’s going on here?

What if our sins, our wrongs, our prohibitions and our rules — what if they are forming us, even now, into the kinds of people who are able to witness the goodness of God’s kin-dom…and the kinds of folks who can’t?

So what do we do with this?

Well, at least as Presbyterians, we take seriously the matters of correction and reconciliation. This means we do discipline one another. Not in punitive or controlling ways, hopefully. Not with shame or harsh words. No, but we do call each other to a good, true, and beautiful way of living. We believe there are healthy was to function as communities and there are harmful dynamics that must be rooted out.

I suppose my question now is this: are we willing to do the hard work of gathering in Christ’s name and calling ourselves to a higher way of living together? Will we abide as a community under a shared rule? Or does anything go? Do we allow any kind of behavior, wonderful or destructive as it may be?

We know what kind of chaos I’m hinting at here, right?

I also want to say, that at least for me, I know the rich blessings that parameters and guardrails and defining sin, what all of that can do that is good for us.

I bind unto myself today an ethic of grace.

I bind unto myself today a willingness to silence my cellphone.

I bind unto myself today a posture of kindness towards the other.

I loose today the weight of regret and harm.

I loose today treating others with shame.

I loose today the hopes of perfection, and bind instead the desire to love without condition.

And then there’s the closing verse. Matthew 18:20

Matthew 18:20 NRSV

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

Christ is with us. As God’s people, gathered, in response to God’s calling, Christ is here.

Think about the way you had to behave when you were going to a nice dinner at your grandparents house when you were a kid. Best behavior, right? We bind unto ourselves a standard of decorum and manner.

Think about the way you feel when you hang out with your best friends and watch a Hallmark movie or a baseball game. Relaxed, jovial, free. We loose the bonds of pretension, performance, and perfection. We let our hair down.

Both are examples of communities that have learned the good and true and beautiful ways to be together. Neither is more right than the other. But, as God’s people, gathered in Christ’s name, wherever we are, we will be a people who seek flourishing, goodness, hope, and beauty, together. We will do this in how we treat each other, how we talk about and to each other, and how we work together. In this way, we become the living Body of Christ, where Christ is gathered with us.

Amen.