The Spirit Meets Us Where We Are

Gabriel and Jesus

Someone has imagined a story of the angel Gabriel meeting Jesus on the day of His ascension into heaven and asking: How did it go Master, how did it go? It went poorly he said, they nailed me to a cross. But I preached the love of God as long as I could. Then said Gabriel, what did you do to see that it would be carried out. I chose twelve said Jesus and I gave them the gospel of God's love for all mankind. I told them to go and tell others. But what if they don't do he asked. And the story has it that the master said: then there is no other way.

Someone has imagined a story of the angel Gabriel meeting Jesus on the day of His ascension into heaven and asking: “How did it go Master, how did it go?”

“It went poorly,” he said, “they nailed me to a cross. But I preached the love of God as long as I could. “

Then said Gabriel, “What did you do to see that it would be carried out.”

“I chose twelve disciples...” Jesus said, “and I gave them the gospel of God's love for all mankind. I told them to go and tell others.”

“But what if they don't do as you commanded?” Gabriel asked.

And the story has it that the master said: “Then there would be no other way. But I’m not too worried—for I am sending the Holy Spirit to them. The word will spread.”

It is time that the church recaptures that purpose that was given it on Pentecost day. The church today sometimes seems to be trying to hold on to dear life by holing up and preserving what it has left when it ought to be moving forward courageously and even at times recklessly into the communities around us—seeking to do too much ministry rather than just enough. I am tired of seeing the church being paralyzed by a fear of death and pushed into a lethargic survivalist state of existence.

It is time that the church recaptures that purpose that was given it on Pentecost day. The church today sometimes seems to be trying to hold on to dear life by holing up and preserving what it has left when it ought to be moving forward courageously and even at times recklessly into the communities around us—seeking to do too much ministry rather than just enough.

The church is not dead. The church is not dying. The church is in the midst of transformation—and even though transformation, or change if you prefer, can be downright terrifying—change is not a negative thing.

Yes, there can be fear during change--especially when we stand at the beginning of that transformation, not yet able to peer over the hill to see what might await the church on the other side of the mountain. While we joke about Lutherans being afraid of change… we do have a tradition around that. And that tradition extends far wider than just within Lutheran circles.

Disciples Afraid of Change

The fear of change is actually a tradition dating back to the disciples! The disciples were afraid of what the change would be in their lives after Christ’s death. They too had a hard time peering over the hill of the future to see the wonder that God had in store for them.

I am tired of seeing churches paralyzed by a fear of death and pushed into a lethargic survivalist state of existence. And then I read articles that talk about the church being either dead or dying here in the United States.

Scripture speaks of the doubt and fear that the disciples had after Christ’s death. We hear the story of how they locked themselves up in a room and tried to shut out the horror of the world around them.

Let me be clear: The church is not dead. The church is not dying. The church is in the midst of transformation—and even though transformation, or change if you prefer, can be downright terrifying—change is not a negative thing.

And when Christ returned to them from the realm of the dead, the gospel writers tell us that the disciples first reaction to Christ was not joy and excitement but rather that they were startled and frightened—they believed that they were seeing some ghost… likely an evil spirit.

It wasn’t until the disciples could touch and see his wounds and actually watched him eat that they began to believe that the man standing before them was indeed their brother and savior, Jesus the Son of God.

And yet, Jesus continued to dwell with them. The author of the book of Acts tells us in the first chapter of the book that Jesus did not just appear that one time to the disciples. After giving proof of identity the first time around, scripture tells us that he appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke with them about the kingdom of God. Christ prepared them for the unleashing of the Holy Spirit amongst them. Christ prepared them for what we are celebrating today—for Pentecost. Preparing them to transform from fear into new life.

As we speak about Pentecost, we often think about it in terms of either something that just happened two-thousand years ago or perhaps something that is designed more for the world-wide church. But I believe Pentecost is a very personal experience.

Fear comes during change--especially when we stand at the beginning of that transformation, not yet able to peer over the hill to see what might await the church on the other side of the mountain. While we joke about Lutherans being afraid of change… we do have a tradition around being afraid of change. And that tradition extends far wider than just within Lutheran circles.

First Year

Disciples Afraid of Change

As such, I’m going to share a rather personal story—and I’ll say in advance that I did get Ashley’s permission to tell this story.

The fear of change is actually a tradition dating back to the disciples! The disciples were afraid of what the change would be in their lives after Christ’s death. They too had a hard time peering over the hill of the future to see the wonder that God had in store for them.

Ashley and I have been married ten years now—and I could not imagine going through this journey without her. But our first year of marriage made me wonder what that journey would be.

Scripture speaks of the doubt and fear that the disciples had after Christ’s death. We hear the story of how they locked themselves up in a room and tried to shut out the horror of the world around them.

We had a very rough first year of marriage, and it started the week after we got back from our honeymoon. No, we weren’t having blown up fights with each other. We weren’t frustrated and fuming with each other on the proper way to leave the toilet seat. Instead, our young marriage struggled deeply with health issues.

And when Christ returned to them from the realm of the dead, the gospel writers tell us that the disciples first reaction to Christ was not joy and excitement but rather that they were startled and frightened—they believed that they were seeing some ghost… likely an evil spirit.

In our first year of marriage, Ashley’s diabetes ran rampantly beyond our ability to control it. We brought her to the hospital over 50 times in those first twelve months. Ashley spent nearly as much time in the hospital as she did at home. And that’s a lot to try to handle… especially for two 21 year-olds.

It wasn’t until the disciples could touch and see his wounds and actually watched him eat that they began to believe that the man standing before them was indeed their brother and savior, Jesus the Son of God.

I remember initially being very supportive. When I wasn’t at work I was at the hospital. But as the months dragged on and her condition grew worse—so too did my hopes and my spirits begin to falter.

And yet, Jesus continued to dwell with them. The author of the book of Acts tells us in the first chapter of the book that Jesus did not just appear that one time to the disciples. After giving proof of identity the first time around, scripture tells us that he appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke with them about the kingdom of God. Christ prepared them for the unleashing of the Holy Spirit amongst them. Christ prepared them for what we are celebrating today—for Pentecost. Preparing them to transform from fear into new life.

I did everything that I could think of to try to make the situation better. Looking back now, there were times that I was an amazing husband—and then there were also times that I wish I had done better. But no matter what I did or didn’t do—no matter how much I tried to control what was going on and try to help fix the issues… I just couldn’t.

There were times that I would bring Ashley to the hospital, get her checked in, spend some time with her until she was beginning to go to sleep… and then I would get back in the car, drive to our apartment, walk through the door—close it and then cry.

As we speak about Pentecost, we often think about it in terms of either something that just happened two-thousand years ago or perhaps something that is designed more for the world-wide church. But I believe Pentecost is a very personal experience.

I remember one evening in particular… it was 9-10 months into our marriage and the visits to the hospital were moving from once every couple of weeks to a couple of times every week. Well, on that particular evening I was once again home alone.

First Year

My life was flashing before my eyes. Rather, the life that I had imagined might be was flashing before my eyes.

I had imagined that when we got married that we would be able to just travel around and have fun doing whatever we wanted to do.

As such, I’m going to share a rather personal story—and I’ll say in advance that I did get Ashley’s permission to tell this story.

I had imagined that when we got married that our lives would be filled with joy and excitement day in and day out and that we would just be able to enjoy life together.

Ashley and I have been married ten years now—and I could not imagine going through this journey without her. But our first year of marriage made me wonder what that journey would be.

And I had imagined that I would finish my undergrad work, go to seminary, and become the pastor that I had felt deeply called to be since the young age of nine.

We had a very rough first year of marriage, and it started the week after we got back from our honeymoon. No, we weren’t having blown up fights with each other. We weren’t frustrated and fuming with each other on the proper way to leave the toilet seat. Instead, our young marriage struggled deeply with health issues.

And yet in that moment, it seemed as though the life that I had imagined we would have together was not to be. It seemed as though we had gone from being on top of the world to just trying to survive—and not even having fun while doing it. We were just 21 and life seemed to already be over. I was in a very very dark place in my life.

In our first year of marriage, Ashley’s diabetes ran rampantly beyond our ability to control it. We brought her to the hospital over 50 times in those first twelve months. Ashley spent nearly as much time in the hospital as she did at home. And that’s a lot to try to handle… especially for two 21 year-olds.

I fell down on my knees on our living room floor, tears brimming and lips quivering—and I started to talk to God. My conversation went something like this:

I remember initially being very supportive. When I wasn’t at work I was at the hospital. But as the months dragged on and her condition grew worse—so too did my hopes and my spirits begin to falter.

“My God… my God… what am I supposed to do? I don’t know what I am doing any more. I’ve tried everything I could think of, I try to help.. I try to make a difference.. I try to be a good husband… but it’s really really hard. Are you mad at me, God? Did I do something wrong? Did I mess up and you are using Ashley’s health as a way to punish me? I know you called me to be a pastor… but do you still want me for that? I can’t leave Ashley… I won’t leave Ashley… I love her… but I don’t know if I still be what you wanted me to be. I can’t… I can’t do this on my own. I need you—please, please oh God.. please help me. Make Ashley healthy… just just please make Ashley healthy.. I can’t do this. I need you. Please, just give me a sign—let me know you’re there and listening. Let me know what I’m supposed to do. I just… I need you, God. Please.”

I did everything that I could think of to try to make the situation better. Looking back now, there were times that I was an amazing husband—and then there were also times that I wish I had done better. But no matter what I did or didn’t do—no matter how much I tried to control what was going on and try to help fix the issues… I just couldn’t.

God didn’t answer—or at least it didn’t seem like. There was no burning topiary in our kitchen telling me to remove my socks. There was no pillar of fire or smoke leading me in one direction or another. And yet… something did change.

There were times that I would bring Ashley to the hospital, get her checked in, spend some time with her until she was beginning to go to sleep… and then I would get back in the car, drive to our apartment, walk through the door—close it and then cry.

When I woke up the next morning, I somehow felt better. Ashley was still in the hospital, but I didn’t feel quite so alone. I felt again that there might be hope… I didn’t have a reason to believe it… and yet there was hope.

I remember one evening in particular… it was 9-10 months into our marriage and the visits to the hospital were moving from once every couple of weeks to a couple of times every week. Well, on that particular evening I was once again home alone.

A month later as health issues continued to rage, I enrolled for school at Texas Lutheran University near San Antonio, nearly 600 miles away. Despite all logic—or perhaps the logic of a couple of 21 year olds, we were looking at moving 600 miles away from family while Ashley was still struggling with her health so that I could get my degree and start seminary.... even though it looked impossible.

My life was flashing before my eyes. Rather, the life that I had imagined might be was flashing before my eyes.

And when we got there… her health improved. Yes, she still had diabetes… yes she still went to the hospital… but it was only once every couple of months instead of a couple of times every week. And I’m not going to say the journey since then has always been easy… because it hasn’t.

· I had imagined that when we got married that we would be able to just travel around and have fun doing whatever we wanted to do.

And yet… and yet… we are still on the journey. That evening when I broke down was a Pentecost moment for me. It was life changing—not because God suddenly came it and made life easy… but because from that time on I was reminded that we were not walking that path alone.

· I had imagined that when we got married that our lives would be filled with joy and excitement day in and day out and that we would just be able to enjoy life together.

I believe with every fiber of my being that I would not be standing here today if it were not for the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

· And I had imagined that I would finish my undergrad work, go to seminary, and become the pastor that I had felt deeply called to be since the young age of nine.

I am not here because I believed enough and God blessed me.

And yet in that moment, it seemed as though the life that I had imagined we would have together was not to be. It seemed as though we had gone from being on top of the world to feeling like the world was running over us. We were just 21 and life seemed to already be over. I was in a very very dark place in my life.

am not here because I suddenly changed how I acted and so God forgave some past sin.

I am not here because I suddenly changed how I acted and so God forgave some past sin.

I fell down on my knees on our living room floor, tears brimming and lips quivering—and I started to talk to God. My conversation went something like this:

I am not here because of any reason other than through the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

And even though at the time I didn’t see that God was answering my prayers, looking back I have no doubt.

“My God… my God… what am I supposed to do? I don’t know what I am doing any more. I’ve tried everything I could think of, I try to help.. I try to make a difference.. I try to be a good husband… but it’s really really hard. Are you mad at me, God? Did I do something wrong? Did I mess up and you are using Ashley’s health as a way to punish me? I know you called me to be a pastor… but do you still want me for that? I can’t leave Ashley… I won’t leave Ashley… I love her… but I don’t know if I still be what you wanted me to be. I can’t… I can’t do this on my own. I need you—please, please oh God.. please help me. Make Ashley healthy… just just please make Ashley healthy.. I can’t do this. I need you. Please, just give me a sign—let me know you’re there and listening. Let me know what I’m supposed to do. I just… I need you, God. Please.”

Conclusion

God didn’t answer—or at least it didn’t seem like. There was no burning topiary in our kitchen telling me to remove my socks. There was no pillar of fire or smoke leading me in one direction or another. And yet… something did change.

Where are you in the journey of life? What fears or doubts do you wrestle with? Is it something you yourself are dealing with, or is it something you are watching a loved one deal with?

When I woke up the next morning, I somehow felt better. Ashley was still in the hospital, but I didn’t feel quite so alone. I felt again that there might be hope… I didn’t have a reason to believe it… and yet there was hope.

The good news that we are gifted with today is that God has sent the Divine Breath into the world to fill us with new life. And the life that we are filled with is not just for the sake of our own happiness but for the sake of those that we might serve.

The bald guy standing in front of you isn’t here just because it makes him feel good and it pays the bills… but I am here for the sake of you and this community, who both God and you have called me to walk with in this journey of life.

A month later as health issues continued to rage, I enrolled for school at Texas Lutheran University near San Antonio, nearly 600 miles away. Despite all logic—or perhaps the logic of a couple of 21 year olds, we were looking at moving 600 miles away from family while Ashley was still struggling with her health so that I could get my degree and start seminary.... even though it looked impossible.

So, where is the Holy Spirit working in your life on this day of Pentecost?

And when we got there… her health improved. Yes, she still had diabetes… yes she still went to the hospital… but it was only once every couple of months instead of a couple of times every week. And I’m not going to say the journey since then has always been easy… because it hasn’t.

How are you being led to be changed and transformed?

And yet… and yet… we are still on the journey. That evening when I broke down was a Pentecost moment for me. It was life changing—not because God suddenly came it and made life easy… but because from that time on I was reminded that we were not walking that path alone.

How are you being called to live for the sake of those around you..

I believe with every fiber of my being that I would not be standing here today if it were not for the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

And how is our church being changed and transformed for the sake of this community?

There can be fear as we stand in the presence of the Holy Spirit, as we sense the call to be changed and transformed without yet being able to peer over the hill to see what is on the other side.

· I am not here because I believed enough and God blessed me.

And yet, we are a church called to serve our neighbor. Called to proclaim the good news to our neighbor. Called to meet people where they are just as God meets us where we are.

So again, I ask: where is the Holy Spirit working in your life on this day of Pentecost?

· I am not here because I suddenly changed how I acted and so God forgave some past sin.

· I am not here because of any reason other than through the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

And even though at the time I didn’t see that God was answering my prayers, looking back I have no doubt.

Conclusion

Where are you in the journey of life? What fears or doubts do you wrestle with? Is it something you yourself are dealing with, or is it something you are watching a loved one deal with?

The good news that we are gifted with today is that God has sent the Divine Breath into the world to fill us with new life. And the life that we are filled with is not just for the sake of our own happiness but for the sake of those that we might serve.

The bald guy standing in front of you isn’t here just because it makes him feel good. This bald guy standing here isn’t here just because it’s a job that pays the bills… but he is here because of the grace and mercy of a most Almighty and Powerful God. He is here because he has been called by God to be here… he is here because he was called by YOU to be here.

And Ashley and I are here not just for the sake of our family that we may be so fortunate to live amongst such amazing, wonderful people that we are quickly coming to call family. But we are here for the sake of you and for the sake of this community. And for that, I am deeply humbled.

· So, how is the Holy Spirit working in your life on this day of Pentecost?

· How are you being led to be changed and transformed?

· How are you being called to live for the sake not just of your own happiness but to live for the sake of those around you?

· And how is our church being changed and transformed for the sake of this community?

There can be fear as we stand in the presence of the Holy Spirit, as we sense the call to be changed and transformed without yet being able to peer over the hill to see what is on the other side.

And yet, we are a church called to serve our neighbor.

Called to proclaim the good news to our neighbor.

Called to meet people where they are just as God meets us where we are.

We are called to be a church and a people who are constantly being transformed by the breath of God as it washes over us. Whether or not we realize that God is at work, you can be assured that indeed God is.

So again, I ask: How is the Holy Spirit working in your life on this day of Pentecost?